Divorce When Your Spouse Has a Serious Mental Illness

Your spouse has struggled with serious mental health issues for an extended period of time, and your marriage has been seriously impacted to the point of utter breakdown. You still have compassion for your spouse, but for your own sake and the sake of your children, you believe divorce is the best option. This can be a difficult situation to navigate. You need the experienced divorce attorney team at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. to provide you with the legal counsel to safely end your marriage.

It can take years for a person to recognize that their spouse is a narcissist or sociopath. These mental health issues can be particularly damaging to a marriage because they are, by nature, harmful to others.

There are other mood and personality disorders that have such an impact on the ill person’s behavior as to make marriage a chaotic, frightening, and exhausting nightmare. Such unfortunate conditions, such as bipolar disorder, severe depression, schizophrenia, and other such conditions, can trigger a variety of crisis moments when the person behaves erratically, is in danger of hurting themselves or others, or refuses to take medication that helps. Sometimes, in these sad situations, the best option is to cut ties.

Grounds for divorce

In Pennsylvania and New Jersey, the grounds for divorce are similar, though with a few differences in the details. They are informally referred to as fault and no-fault divorce.

No-fault divorce basically means that the spouses agree that the marriage has been irretrievably broken, and an affidavit has been filed stating that both parties have lived separately for at least one year.

Causes for a fault divorce include:

• willful desertion, adultery, or bigamy
• cruel treatment endangering the health or life of the spouse
• causing indignities to the injured spouse to make the spouse’s life intolerable (PA)
• institutionalization in a mental institute for 18 months (PA) or 24 months (NJ)
• convicted of committing a personal injury crime against the spouse (PA)
• imprisonment for 18 months (NJ) or 24 months (PA)
• voluntary addiction or habitual drunkenness (NJ)
• deviant sexual conduct to which the spouse did not consent (NJ)

Usually, people choose the no-fault divorce option, but a fault divorce is sometimes the appropriate approach.

Proving your case and protecting yourself

Depending on your situation, our expert divorce attorneys may be able to file for a fault divorce. Several of the reasons listed may apply to your marriage, and the PA law has a specific provision that states,

“If a spouse is insane or suffering from serious mental disorder, an action may be commenced under this part against that spouse upon any ground for divorce or annulment.” (23 PA Cons Stat § 3308)

The other option would be to file a no-fault divorce, but there can be a complication if your spouse does not consent. In such a case, it is very important to present evidence to the court so that the judge can make the determination that the marriage is irretrievably broken.

In order to present the strongest position in court for your divorce, whether we seek a fault divorce or a no-fault divorce in which the court must make the decision for dissolution, you must document everything you can:

• medical records
• hospitalizations
• treatment compliance
• medications
• whether your spouse has ever threatened you, your children, or others
• whether your spouse has committed self-harm or has threatened to do so
• cruelty or indignities
• substance abuse

Record everything in as much detail as possible. We want to show the court that we need to protect your rights, your safety, and your well-being.

Custody and visitation

Mental health problems do not automatically make your spouse ineligible for visitation. The law stipulates that the court must act with the best interests of the child in mind. Having a good relationship with both parents is generally in the best interest of a child. But the mental health status of a parent will significantly impact the court’s decision regarding whether the parent is fit to care for a child. With your input, we will present arguments to help the court make a decision that will keep your children safe.

Communicating with your ill spouse

You will have to decide carefully how to tell your spouse that you want a divorce. If you are concerned that your spouse might hurt you or commit self-harm, you may wish to speak to us first, and we can advise you on what steps you may need to take. These steps may include protective court orders.

Certainly, you do not want to hurt your spouse or make him or her worse when you discuss divorce, so your approach should be empathetic and understanding. However, you must guard against being persuaded to relent if you believe that this is the best step for your welfare and the welfare of your children. That is why it is wise to first get legal counsel and have support persons with you who are sympathetic to your position. It may even be advisable that you communicate with your spouse through your legal counsel rather than directly.

Request a confidential consultation today by calling (866) 349-4721. We can help you determine how to proceed as you begin to take steps to divorce your mentally ill spouse.