As a parent, you may naturally worry about how divorce will impact your relationship with your children. Separation is a time of emotional upheaval for everybody, including your children, who face the loss of the family unit as they know it.
The prospect of divorce may make children feel confused, anxious, or angry. Any associated changes, like relocation or changing schools, could add to the stress. The tips below will help nurture your relationship with your child throughout and after divorce.
Help Your Child Process the Situation
Your child may struggle to understand or accept the end of your marriage. They may wonder how the family will function from now on, how holidays and birthdays will work, or whether they’ll have to leave their home and friends.
Sit with your child and explain what’s happening in a calm, reassuring, and age-appropriate way. For young children, hearing that the divorce is nobody’s fault and that both parents will always be there for them may be enough. Teens may appreciate more eye-to-eye communication and stronger involvement in their living or schooling arrangements.
However, no matter how old your children are, avoid over-sharing details about the legal proceedings, property division, or alimony. Simply assure your child that you and their other parent will arrange all practical matters.
Make Time for Your Children
During divorce proceedings, it’s easy to become caught up in practical arrangements like gathering documentation or looking for a new place to live. It’s important to stay present for your children, not just in taking care of their physical needs, but as a parent who still makes time for fun.
Take your child out to the park, arrange a movie night, or do other meaningful activities that show your child that spending time with them is high on your priority list.
Work Together With Your Co-Parent
Divorce is a time when emotions run high and disputes flare up. The entire process will be much less stressful if you and your soon-to-be-ex agree on a parenting plan that covers all essentials, like with whom the child will primarily live and how you’ll split vacation time.
Your child will fare much better emotionally if you present a stable and united front as co-parents. Always speak respectfully about your child’s other parent and avoid making your child feel like they must choose sides. Professional mediation can help you both bridge any differences with your ex.
Of course, amicable co-parenting might be challenging if your soon-to-be-ex deliberately tries to alienate your child against you or uses custody as a bargaining chip. Consult a skilled family lawyer if you’re divorcing a narcissist or another high-conflict personality type.
Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.: Helping You Navigate Divorce and Custody in NJ and PA
Are you concerned about how family dynamics might affect your children before, during, and after divorce? Our skilled and empathetic family law team at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you work out a parenting plan that minimizes conflict and protects relationships. Schedule a consultation today.
Divorcing? Get Your Credit ReportMarch 27, 2025 - 11:21 am
What You Need To Know About Lengthy Court Battles in DivorceMarch 18, 2025 - 10:14 am
Adapting the Parenting Plan As Children AgeMarch 14, 2025 - 1:03 pm
Divorcing? Get Your Credit Report
DivorceStarting the initial steps of a divorce can feel overwhelming. You may be unsure what processes to prioritize or how to set yourself up for success. One step you can take now is requesting a copy of your credit report.
This can aid you in your next steps as you start to move forward financially after the property division process.
Why Do You Need Your Credit Report?
Your credit report offers a summary of your credit activity, including loans and other debts. It includes information such as your:
When you apply for loans or other financial opportunities, the financial institution will view your report to determine your trustworthiness and eligibility. If you have a significant amount of debt or a history of late payments, it may deny your application.
Requesting a copy of your report can help you prepare for certain financial processes in your divorce, such as refinancing your mortgage or applying for an apartment rental. If this report paints a negative picture of your finances, you can start taking steps now to improve your credit or explore other opportunities that won’t hinge on your creditworthiness.
You can also identify any hidden debts or assets that will eventually come to light during the marital dissolution process. If you find any discrepancies in your report, potentially indicating malicious behavior from your spouse, you can address them now.
Protecting Your Credit During and After Divorce
Divorce can have indirect consequences on your credit score, which could limit future financial opportunities. Years of marriage and combined finances can be challenging to untangle. These tips may help you protect your credit during the divorce process:
If your score is on the lower side, take steps now to begin building credit. You might apply for a secured credit card, practice making bill payments on time, and reach out to a credit counselor for help.
How To Request a Copy of Your Credit Report
You should never need to pay for a copy of your credit report. You can request a free report as often as once per week through AnnualCreditReport.com, a service authorized by federal law.
You will need to answer a few personal questions before you can see your reports. This ensures that no one else can access your information aside from you.
Let Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Help You Protect Your Finances During Divorce
Legal separation and divorce can strain your finances. At Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., we help clients protect their rights while divorcing. Let us guide you through the settlement agreement, divorce petition, alimony discussions, and more. Call (866) 349-4149 to schedule a general consultation.
What You Need To Know About Lengthy Court Battles in Divorce
DivorceIf you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse cannot reach agreements about issues like asset division, child custody, or spousal support on your own, you may need to go to trial. A judge will decide these issues for you based on Pennsylvania’s laws, attempting to reach a fair decision. We understand if you fear the lengthy court battles and stressful debates that can be part of this process.
Here is what you need to know about going to court in a divorce.
How Long Is the Divorce Court Process?
If you and your spouse must use litigation to decide on divorce issues, you can generally expect the process to take about a year. It may be faster or slower, depending on court delays and how long you spend negotiating.
The process generally follows these steps:
Downsides of Going to Court
For some divorcing couples, going to trial is inevitable. They have tried to settle relevant matters on their own but cannot reach an agreement. Still, it’s worth exploring the potential downsides of going to trial as you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse attempt to reach a resolution.
Legal fees, court costs, and other expenses often make going to trial expensive. This process also takes more time than reaching a divorce agreement on your own.
During negotiations with your spouse, they can claim rights to any new money you earn. These claims can cost you more time and money, even if they are unfounded. Your finances may not truly be separate from theirs until the divorce is finalized.
Above all, going to trial means you permit a judge to make all decisions about the divorce for you, and you and your spouse must abide by them. While you can attempt to prove your side with evidence and an attorney’s assistance, you won’t have any say in the judge’s final decision, and it may not adequately reflect your wishes or situation.
Mediation May Help You Avoid Court
Divorce attorneys typically advise couples to try mediation before enduring lengthy court battles. This process involves meeting with a trained mediator who can help you resolve your dispute. You and your spouse will each have an opportunity to present your case and negotiate a mutually beneficial solution.
Finding out the downsides of going to court may prompt you and your spouse to be willing to compromise on issues to avoid this process. Mediation is worth a try, as it could save you a significant amount of time and money.
Let Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Guide Your Divorce Process
Whether you want to try mediation or need an experienced attorney to help you through a lengthy court battle, Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., is here for you. Call (866) 349-4149 to schedule a general consultation.
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Meta Description: Going to trial in a divorce sometimes involves lengthy court battles. Learn what to expect and how to avoid going to trial from Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.
Adapting the Parenting Plan As Children Age
Child Custody, ParentingWhen you and your spouse divorced, you created a parenting plan that met your children’s needs at the time. But schedules and priorities never stay the same. Adapting the parenting plan as children age can ensure that it meets their needs now and fits with your family’s Bucks County lifestyle.
Understand That Children’s Schedules and Needs Change
Perhaps you divorced when your children were young, and now they are entering middle school or high school. What made sense for your family at the time of your split may no longer fit these evolving needs.
Maybe one child is into sports, while another is involved in several clubs or extracurriculars. Perhaps one child attends a different school now or seriously practices an instrument. Equally dividing their time between both parents may not be realistic with these new schedules. Remember that the goal of a co-parenting agreement is doing what is best for the child, not for the parents.
Sit Down and Talk With Your Children
Now that your children are older, they should have more of a say in their visitation schedule. Sit down together with your ex-spouse and children and have an open discussion about what the custody arrangement should look like now.
Ask each child individually whether they have any preferences about the schedule, and take their opinions seriously. They don’t need to have the final say, but the custody arrangement should reflect their wishes as much as possible. They may have more insight into what schedule makes sense than you and their other parent do.
Be Realistic About Their Best Interests
It may be challenging to realize that your children should spend more time with your spouse than with you. Try to be realistic when adapting the parenting plan as they age. Even if they previously went back and forth every week, this may no longer make sense for their schedules and needs.
Not seeing them as often doesn’t mean you are any less of a parent or an influence in their lives. Remember that children naturally need their parents less the older they get. Physical custody doesn’t need to significantly impact their relationship with you.
Be Flexible and Prioritize Good Communication
Keep in mind that whatever you decide about the parenting plan now may only last for a year or two before you need to change it again. Be open to adapting it as needed and communicate with your ex-spouse regularly about what makes sense for your shared children moving forward.
Acting with hostility toward your ex-spouse will only drive a wedge between you and your children. Instead, maintain a mature mindset and show that you value their opinions.
Give Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., a Call If You Need Assistance
If you need help adjusting your parenting plan as children age, changing your child support agreement, or updating any other aspects of your legal custody arrangement, our attorneys can advise you. Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., today at (866) 349-4149 to book a consultation.
First Steps in Dividing Assets in Your PA Divorce
Equitable DistributionDividing assets in a divorce is often one of the more stressful steps of the process. Pennsylvania follows an equitable distribution policy, meaning the courts attempt to divide a divorcing couple’s assets fairly between them. This is often easier said than done.
Following these initial steps can help you begin to separate property from your spouse and start moving forward financially.
Pinpoint the Date of Separation
What day did you and your spouse separate and/or begin the divorce process? Write down this date. This will help you determine which assets and debts are considered community property or marital assets and which are separate.
The assets you acquire after the date of separation could be considered separate property. This date is also important in determining the length of the marriage and the start date for spousal support or child support, if applicable.
Close All Joint Bank Accounts and Open Your Own
Begin by opening your own separate bank account and start putting your paychecks and other income into it. This will allow you to begin accruing your own money that is completely separate from your spouse. Furthermore, you won’t have to worry about accidentally stealing from their share of the funds when you begin paying legal fees or other associated expenses from the divorce.
Eventually, you will want to close any joint bank accounts that you share with your spouse. However, in the beginning, you may want to keep a joint account open from which you can pay household and other shared bills until you decide who will be responsible for paying which bills.
Close All Credit Cards and Examine Your Debt
Next, contact your credit card companies and close any shared accounts as well. Open your own credit cards that are solely in your name.
If any of your shared credit cards are in the red, talk to your attorney about how to proceed. Along with dividing assets in a divorce, you must divide shared debts fairly.
Hold On to Pensions and Brokerage Accounts for Now
You may assume that the next step should be to divide pensions or brokerage accounts between you. Instead, hold off on this until you have spoken with your attorney. You may need a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) to gain permission to divide the accounts between you.
Talk to Your Mortgage Broker About Keeping the House
You may also assume that you will keep the house and that your spouse will find somewhere else to live. While this might be your preference, it isn’t always doable. You should speak with your mortgage broker about the requirements to maintain the mortgage on your own.
If you cannot afford the mortgage based on your finances, you may need to sell the house as part of the property division agreement. Alternatively, perhaps you could sacrifice other assets to keep the house.
Let Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Assist in Your Asset Division
Dividing assets in a divorce may feel overwhelming, but our attorneys are here to guide you through this process. We can help with asset valuation and maintain your right to equitable distribution. Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., today at (866) 349-4149 to book a confidential consultation.
Divorce and Paying for College
Child SupportIn October 2024, a class action lawsuit was filed against 40 private American universities — including Harvard, Northwestern, and Yale — alleging that they conspired to charge students more tuition than they should have. The lawsuit claimed these institutions did this by asking for and considering the assets of non-custodial parents when calculating financial aid and scholarships for children of divorce, putting them at a decided disadvantage.
This legal claim highlighted the ongoing confusion surrounding divorce and paying for college. If you and your spouse are preparing to split, make sure you understand the legal obligations of divorced parents when covering tuition down the line.
Discover what you need to know below.
The Importance of Coming Up With Tuition Agreements in Divorce Settlements
Paying for college is often the last thing on parents’ minds when divorcing. In some instances, it is such an afterthought that they don’t bother including it in their divorce settlements at all.
However, parents should avoid making this mistake at all costs. While divorcing, they must negotiate child custody agreements, and college expenses should be discussed. They should talk about:
They should also consider setting up 529 college savings plans and negotiating potential child support extensions for higher education.
Key Factors To Consider When Deciding Who Pays for Higher Education After a Divorce
As parents working through divorces make critical decisions about paying for college for their children, they should consider several key factors. These are the factors they must keep in mind:
Generally speaking, parents should also be prepared to prioritize their kids’ needs and aspirations.
Why Divorced Parents Must Continue Working Together and Discussing Tuition
No matter how hard parents work to agree on who will pay for college, so much might change between the finalization of their divorce and their children’s first day away at school. For this reason, they must commit to continuing to work together in the coming years to collectively create plans for paying for college.
They should discuss filling out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA), which nearly 60% of prospective college students complete as they prepare to graduate from high school. They should also explore the possibility of applying for financial aid for specific schools their kids would like to attend.
This will keep them on the same page, taking advantage of available financial assistance as they seek to support their children in their quest for higher education.
Call Us for More Information on Paying for College for Kids Following a Divorce
Paying for college is more expensive than ever. This is reason enough for parents preparing to divorce to hold extensive discussions about who will be financially responsible for covering their children’s higher education costs.
The trusted attorneys at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., will assist you in every aspect of your divorce. Contact us at (866) 309-3307 today to schedule a confidential consultation.
How To Get Copies of Your Divorce Records
DivorceIf you recently went through the divorce process in Bucks County, PA, you should have received a certified copy of your divorce decree signed by a judge shortly after it was finalized. However, you may need to secure additional copies of your decree, either now or sometime in the future.
Learn how to get copies of your divorce records in the Keystone State. Find out how to procure them below.
Why You May Need Copies of Your Divorce Records
Before we discuss how to obtain copies of your divorce documents, let’s briefly touch on why you might need to locate them in the first place.
These documents serve as legal proof of divorce. You may need to have certified copies on hand in many instances throughout your life.
It’s necessary to have them in your possession in any of the following situations:
How To Secure Copies of Your Divorce Records
When determining how to get copies of your divorce records, you will be happy to hear that you may do it in several ways. Here are your options.
Searching for Them Online
If you want to look up your Bucks County divorce records online, it should be simple enough to find them. Take these steps:
While this is an effective option for those who wish to peruse through the terms listed in a divorce decree, it isn’t the right choice for those searching for certified copies of divorce records.
Picking Them Up in Person
You can pick up certified copies of your divorce records in person. The Bucks County Court of Common Pleas Family Division retains these records.
You may ask for county clerk and court records by visiting the Office of the Bucks County Prothonotary at the Bucks County Justice Center at 100 North Main Street #2 in Doylestown, PA 18901. This is a reliable way to minimize fees and processing time for records.
Requesting Them by Mail
Additionally, you may request copies of your divorce records by mail through the Office of the Bucks County Prothonotary.
Send a self-addressed stamped envelope to this office along with a check made out to the Prothonotary for $5.75 per decree.
Contact Us To Discover More About Tracking Down Copies of Your Divorce Records
Are you still unsure of how to get copies of your divorce records in Bucks County? Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.’s divorce attorneys are here to help and can explain your options further. We can also explain the differences between a divorce decree and divorce certificate, as well as between certified and informational copies of divorce decrees.
Call us at (866) 309-3307 today for assistance in Pennsylvania or nearby New Jersey.
What Do You Do If You Don’t Want a Divorce?
DivorceDivorce may feel like a last resort, something you want to avoid at all costs. Just because your spouse seems to have their mind made up doesn’t mean you have followed suit. You may still be hanging on to the last threads of your marriage and hoping to reach a resolution. This is often a gut-wrenching situation.
If your spouse has already filed with the courts here in Bucks or Montgomery Counties, you must obey all deadlines. It is time to hire an attorney to go over the initial paperwork with you and prepare you for the next steps.
Understanding what to do if you don’t want a divorce starts with knowing what you are legally required to do. Then, you can explore your options and start to move forward.
Can You Refuse a Divorce?
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These are the five stages of grief and the stages many divorcees go through when approaching this process. You may initially be in denial and wonder whether you can simply refuse the action or pretend it doesn’t exist.
If your spouse has legally initiated the divorce, there is immediacy in following deadlines. However, keep in mind that your divorce will take some time. By law, Pennsylvania has a 90-day mandatory cooling-off period for divorce. After filing, you and your spouse must wait at least 90 days to finalize the process. This gives you time to reconsider the decision and negotiate any issues, like child support or property division.
Pennsylvania follows no-fault divorce laws, meaning a spouse can choose to end their marriage without assigning blame or proving fault. While you cannot refuse this legal action, you maintain the right to contest a divorce if you disagree with the terms and want the court to intervene.
What To Do If You Don’t Want a Divorce and Your Spouse Does
If you don’t want a divorce, now may be a good time to sit down with your spouse and determine whether they are open to reconsidering. Would they be willing to try anything to make your marriage work? Or are they already checked out?
A few options you can present to them are:
If your partner isn’t open to any of these, it’s time to work on acceptance. This doesn’t need to be a fast process. Take it a day at a time, and start moving forward.
Seek Guidance From Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.
Your life isn’t over just because you are going through a separation. You have a world of opportunities ahead of you, and you may look back and realize that this step was for the better in the long run.
At Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., we would be happy to advise you on what you can do if you don’t want a divorce. Contact us today at (866) 309-3307 for a legal consultation.
How Do You Protect Your Money and Your Financial Future During a Divorce?
Divorce, Equitable DistributionGoing through a Bucks County divorce may feel like you are completely upending your life. If you are a stay-at-home parent or a low-income-earning spouse, or you simply rely on your partner for financial support, the thought of separating may feel immensely scary.
How do you protect your money during a divorce? How will you financially recover? Strategic planning with the help of the right divorce attorney can allow you to navigate this process as smoothly as possible.
What Will Happen to Your Money in a Divorce?
Before you can start protecting your money, you need to understand what is at stake. In Pennsylvania, the court distinguishes between marital vs. non-marital property. Marital property includes anything you or your spouse acquired during the marriage or any assets that increased in value during this time.
Marital property is subject to an equitable distribution of assets, meaning the court would attempt to divide these items fairly between you. If you have any prenuptial or postnuptial agreements in place, these may play into the distribution process. Asset protection trusts can also prevent certain accounts from being divided.
Tips To Protect Your Money as a Low-Income-Earning Spouse or Stay-at-Home Parent
If you are a low-income-earner, the court will take this into account when determining what assets and funds to leave you with in the divorce. Still, you may have trouble moving forward independently. The following tips can help you protect your money during divorce and plan your financial future:
Seek Legal Guidance From Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.
Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., is here to help you protect your money during a divorce. We can explain the tax implications of divorce settlements, advise on strategic practices to build financial independence, and protect your right to equitable distribution. Contact us today at (866) 309-3307 for a general consultation.
Is Your Spouse Snooping on You?
DivorceIs your spouse snooping on you? Maybe you caught them surreptitiously handling your phone or noticed they always seem to know when you step outside. If your marriage is under tremendous strain, your spouse has threatened divorce, or you have talked about separating, it is critical that you protect your privacy.
Spying on one’s partner is a serious violation of boundaries, especially if your marriage is already under strain. Learn how to tell whether your spouse is keeping you under surveillance and how you can shield your privacy.
Why Would Your Spouse Spy on You?
People may spy on their significant other for many reasons, like jealousy, lack of trust, or obsessive control. When a marriage is nearing its end, it’s not uncommon for one partner to spy on another to try to uncover something they could use as leverage in divorce proceedings.
For example, adultery can serve as grounds for a fault-based divorce in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Your spouse may harness advanced technology or physically stalk you to try and prove you’ve been cheating and use the evidence to their advantage, such as by asking the court to order less alimony.
Your spouse could also decide to monitor your financial activities, including whether you’re taking funds out of a joint account or purchasing a major asset.
Above all, snooping and stalking is a toxic power dynamic. Knowing you’re under constant surveillance can make you feel helpless, trapped, and afraid.
How To Know Your Spouse Is Snooping on You
Determining whether your spouse is snooping on you can be difficult. The following signs may hint that you’re the target of your partner’s unethical spying:
Protect Your Private Information and Legal Rights
If you suspect your spouse is snooping on you, change all your phone, tablet, and computer passcodes and enable logins for all apps. At the very least, this may prevent them from continuing this behavior while you figure out the next steps.
Disable location data so your spouse can’t track you. Take your phone to a cybersecurity professional to screen it for concealed surveillance apps and check your car for hidden GPS devices.
Before confronting your spouse, talk to a lawyer and discuss your options. Using illegal means to spy on someone, even one’s spouse, could carry serious legal consequences. Moreover, any information gathered this way would likely be inadmissible as evidence in court proceedings.
Call Us If You’re Facing Divorce and Suspect Your Spouse Is Spying on You
Is your spouse snooping on you? This is an unsettling notion, particularly if you’re planning a divorce and suspect your spouse is trying to uncover sensitive information that could harm your interests. Contact us at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., to find out how you can protect your rights and defend your private data. Book a consultation today.
Protecting Your Relationship With Your Child During and After Your Divorce
DivorceAs a parent, you may naturally worry about how divorce will impact your relationship with your children. Separation is a time of emotional upheaval for everybody, including your children, who face the loss of the family unit as they know it.
The prospect of divorce may make children feel confused, anxious, or angry. Any associated changes, like relocation or changing schools, could add to the stress. The tips below will help nurture your relationship with your child throughout and after divorce.
Help Your Child Process the Situation
Your child may struggle to understand or accept the end of your marriage. They may wonder how the family will function from now on, how holidays and birthdays will work, or whether they’ll have to leave their home and friends.
Sit with your child and explain what’s happening in a calm, reassuring, and age-appropriate way. For young children, hearing that the divorce is nobody’s fault and that both parents will always be there for them may be enough. Teens may appreciate more eye-to-eye communication and stronger involvement in their living or schooling arrangements.
However, no matter how old your children are, avoid over-sharing details about the legal proceedings, property division, or alimony. Simply assure your child that you and their other parent will arrange all practical matters.
Make Time for Your Children
During divorce proceedings, it’s easy to become caught up in practical arrangements like gathering documentation or looking for a new place to live. It’s important to stay present for your children, not just in taking care of their physical needs, but as a parent who still makes time for fun.
Take your child out to the park, arrange a movie night, or do other meaningful activities that show your child that spending time with them is high on your priority list.
Work Together With Your Co-Parent
Divorce is a time when emotions run high and disputes flare up. The entire process will be much less stressful if you and your soon-to-be-ex agree on a parenting plan that covers all essentials, like with whom the child will primarily live and how you’ll split vacation time.
Your child will fare much better emotionally if you present a stable and united front as co-parents. Always speak respectfully about your child’s other parent and avoid making your child feel like they must choose sides. Professional mediation can help you both bridge any differences with your ex.
Of course, amicable co-parenting might be challenging if your soon-to-be-ex deliberately tries to alienate your child against you or uses custody as a bargaining chip. Consult a skilled family lawyer if you’re divorcing a narcissist or another high-conflict personality type.
Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.: Helping You Navigate Divorce and Custody in NJ and PA
Are you concerned about how family dynamics might affect your children before, during, and after divorce? Our skilled and empathetic family law team at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you work out a parenting plan that minimizes conflict and protects relationships. Schedule a consultation today.