Plan for Emergencies in Your Post-Divorce Life

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Divorce was a massive change in your personal life, and the rest of the world is going through some huge changes too. Sometimes they’re a slow burn in the background of today’s news. Other times you need to take action to cope with problems that shake up your life. 

The Next Pandemic 

Few of us were prepared for the COVID-19 pandemic and the problems it posed to parents. Children couldn’t attend school. Jobs were lost or performed at home. Debates over vaccines raged. COVID-19 is still around and could potentially mutate into something far more dangerous. Other viruses could become the next pandemic. 

Add this to the list of crises you and your fellow parent must prepare for:  

  • If kids can’t go to school, where will they be? Will they split time between the two of you? What’s the best arrangement if one or both of you work at home?  
  • Have the two of you decided whether your children should be vaccinated against current threats or ones that may develop in the future? How will future medical decisions be made if the two of you can’t agree? 

We all learned how to get by during the COVID-19 lockdown. We should be better prepared if one happens again. 

Economic Uncertainty 

The inflation rate is high, reducing our buying power, but overall, the economy is doing well. There’s no sign inflation will back down any time soon, but the economy will inevitably slow and possibly go into recession. The loss of millions of jobs could bring down inflation, though that’s a method no one wants. 

It’s just a matter of time before the economy weakens and the two of you should discuss how you’ll handle it. What happens if one or both of you are unemployed? How would that impact spousal and child support? 

Despite all these unknowns, there are things you can count on:  

  • Paying child support is mandated by law, though there’s room for a judge to make adjustments in individual cases. If you pay it, losing your job is a reason to ask a judge to lower your payments, but that may not be enough. The judge may not reduce them as much as you’d like or decide you should be able to find another job and keep up the payments 
  • Spousal support obligations in a divorce order continue until a judge agrees to amend them. Both parties could agree these payments can be cut during the payor’s unemployment. Without an agreement, it would be up to a judge to decide if the ex-spouse’s lost job justifies lower payments  

You don’t know what you, your ex, or your kids may need in the future. Though it may be difficult, having at least a working relationship with your former spouse can help you deal with future emergencies. 

Get the Help You Need From a Family Law Attorney You Can Trust 

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., if you have questions or need representation in a divorce, child support, or child custody matter. Call our office at (215) 608-1867 to schedule a consultation. We can speak over the phone, via teleconference, or meet in our Doylestown or Langhorne office. 

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Protect Yourself Against Stalking

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A spouse may feel angry and betrayed when you want a divorce. If they can’t handle the situation, they may exact revenge, stalk you, and possibly become violent. Thanks to the internet and smartphones, it’s never been easier to stalk someone. 

What is Stalking? 

Stalking is using unwanted, harassing, or threatening tactics that cause fear or safety concerns in the victim, according to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). These tactics may include: 

  • Following and watching you 
  • Approaching you or showing up where you are, whether that’s in a public place, your home, or workplace 
  • Using global positioning system (GPS) technology to track you 
  • Going into a private place while you’re elsewhere and leaving you items or objects to scare or threaten you 
  • Using technology to spy on you 
  • Making unwanted phone calls, text messages, emails, social media posts, or photo messages 
  • Sending you unwanted cards, gifts, letters, or flowers 

What your spouse might do to stalk you is only limited to their twisted imagination. 

What Can I Do to Prevent Being Stalked? 

Some steps can make stalking more difficult: 

  • Stay off of social media. The more information about your life you put on social media, the easier it is for your spouse to find you 
  • Change your phone number and email address to prevent unwanted phone calls, texts, and emails 
  • If your spouse had access to your smartphone, PC, or laptop, they might have uploaded spyware or stalkerware. It allows them to know everything you use it for and track you. You can try to find it on your device and remove it, but the most effective way to prevent this from affecting you is to get another one 
  • Your spouse may have put an Apple AirTag on your vehicle. This is an electronic device that can allow them to see where it is in real-time. This article explains more about what this is, how it works, and ways to try to prevent this from happening 
  • Lock your smartphone by using a code, a fingerprint, or face recognition technology
  • Turn off the location setting (until you need it to get somewhere), and don’t share your location 
  • Change your routine, so your movements are less predictable 
  • Tell your employer what’s going on in case your spouse shows up at your workplace or tries to call you there  
  • If you are threatened in any way or physically struck, call the police and press charges 
  • If you qualify, get a protection from abuse order. It shows your spouse you’re serious about ending the stalking. If it continues, call the police. If your spouse is arrested and convicted, they may face fines and jail time 

Sadly, you need to take these actions and change your life, but when dealing with a stalker, you need to protect yourself as best you can. Hopefully, your spouse will stop when they see the negative consequences of their actions. 

Get the Help You Need From an Attorney You Trust 

We’ve handled many divorces where the relationship totally broke down, and one spouse became hostile toward the other. This can be a difficult and stressful time, but we’re here to help you get through this and enable you to start a new life. Contact Karen A. Ulmer, P.C. for additional guidance on family law, divorce, protection from abuse orders, and all things divorce. 

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Why You Need an Attorney for Your Divorce

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There are many moving pieces to divorce in Bucks and Montgomery Counties here in PA, and if they’re not addressed correctly and coherently you can end up caught in a legal, financial, and emotional mess. The more complex your finances and wealth, and if you have children, the more you need a lawyer to represent your interests in a divorce. It’s a legal proceeding that will affect you and your children for the rest of your lives. 

Not every legal matter requires legal representation, but you should at least consult with an attorney before you move forward. If you and your spouse have low incomes and have little or no property, Legal Aid of Southeastern Pennsylvania may help you through the process. Another option, if the two of you are on good terms, may be a collaborative divorce in which you work with (and need only pay) one attorney to finalize the divorce. 

You Don’t Want to Learn About Divorce While Working on Your Own Case 

If this doesn’t describe you and your family, an attorney should represent you in a divorce. We will protect your rights, ensure you take full advantage of them, and get the best outcome possible. Given your financial well-being, your relationship with your children, and your future are at stake, paying for an attorney is a worthwhile investment. 

Chances are excellent that unless you are a divorce attorney, you lack the knowledge, experience, and skills to make the best of your divorce and put yourself in a good position to start your new life.  

You hire specialists for other areas of your life without much thought. You probably don’t fix your car or make major repairs on your home. You may pay someone else to prepare your taxes. You’re smart enough to understand that there are complex things you don’t understand well enough to handle yourself, so it’s better to hire someone to tackle them for you. 

Where Lack of Legal Representation Can Cause You Severe Problems 

Here are some of the issues that could cause serious harm if you represent yourself and make mistakes: 

  • Dividing assets and debts: A critical part of the divorce process is identifying which assets and debts are marital and subject to division, then dividing them equitably. You may have property you owned before your marriage or inherited during it that shouldn’t be shared with your spouse. Your spouse may also be responsible for debts you are not obligated to help repay. Going it alone could result in handing over your assets and putting yourself on the hook for debts that aren’t yours. 
  • Spousal support and alimony: You or your spouse may or may not be entitled to alimony or spousal support. If you are entitled to it but don’t assert your rights, you could miss a substantial amount of money. If your spouse wants support without a legal right to it or seeks more than they legally deserve, you may unnecessarily transfer a big chunk of your income to your ex in the future. 
  • Child custody and support: Your spouse may not be fit to make crucial decisions for your child, but without legal representation, they may be awarded custody. Your spouse may also demand more child support than what’s justified under the law. 

This situation worsens if your spouse has an attorney, but you don’t. This is not an even playing field because you are at a severe disadvantage. If you can’t agree to a settlement, will you represent yourself at a trial? 

Speak to a Divorce Attorney You Can Trust 

If you have any questions about divorce or think it may be in your future, don’t make any decisions until you talk to us. Contact Karen A. Ulmer, P.C., to schedule a consultation so we can discuss your situation, how the law may apply, and how we can help. 

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How To Get a Cheap Divorce in Pennsylvania

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It’s true; there are ways to get a cheap divorce in Pennsylvania. Various companies provide legitimate, rapid, and seemingly affordable solutions to prepare you for the complex legal filing process.

If you opt-in for a simple, uncontested, online divorce, there are few meetings required, and you must complete the paperwork on your computer or smartphone.

However, you must remember that when your divorce is filed and finalized, nothing usually can change, and you are stuck with the terms in the document. Divorce is a complex matter involving your housing, assets, alimony, child support, visitation, and much more.

The Pennsylvania courts refer to an uncontested divorce as a  “no-fault divorce,” consensual no-fault divorce, or mutual consent divorce. If you attempt this legal process yourself, even a mutual consent divorce is complex and involves a lot of legal paperwork you are unfamiliar with.

In a mutual consent divorce, you and your spouse must agree to all the terms of your divorce. You must sign legal documents stating that you agree, and if at any point you or your spouse don’t agree on even a minor issue, you will need to start the process (and paperwork) all over again.

Five common steps are mandatory for filing an uncontested divorce in Pennsylvania, they are:

  • The divorce application – Here, you create and file the complaint for your divorce.
  • Your spouse must be legally served the divorce papers, and proof of service must be obtained.
  • You must create consents and other vital documents.
  • If you and your spouse are not in agreement on any matter, regardless of how small, and still wish to pursue an uncontested divorce, you will usually seek mediation.
  • Final decree – After all the paperwork is served, agreed on, filed, and more, the court will finalize your divorce with official divorce order documentation.

This process may seem to save you money, but it will take a lot of your time and cause you and your family stress, emotional upheaval, and money. If you make an error, you start over. Also, if you miss anything, it could cost more to fix the issue than if your divorce were done by a professional in the first place.

Is It Legally “Risky” To Try To Get a Cheap Divorce?

The simple and rational answer is, yes, it is.

Recently, many people have chosen to try “do-it-yourself divorce kits to legally end their marriages. These quick and seemingly “cheap” kits may appear attractive, especially since they promise an “easy” out of your marriage.

However, many who have tried these kits find that they are far more trouble than they are worth. After all the costs and fees, they are far from significantly cheaper than hiring an experienced divorce lawyer.

The finality, complexity, and stress of a divorce kit should make you consider consulting with a Pennsylvania family law team. They will know the right questions to ask, and you can move on confidently.

If I Do the Work Myself, Am I Giving My Spouse an Advantage?

In most Pennsylvania divorces, at least one of the spouses has their family lawyer advising them. If you don’t have a divorce lawyer, and your spouse does, you will undoubtedly be at a legal disadvantage. Your spouse’s lawyer will use your ignorance of the rules and regulations of divorce law to your spouse’s advantage every chance that arises.

You can assume that your spouse’s attorney has a much better understanding of court procedures than someone without legal training could not be expected to possess. For example, your spouse’s lawyer could retrieve evidence excluded from court, which may lead you, without a divorce lawyer, to receive a diminished share of your marital estate.

You could surmise that not having an experienced Pennsylvania divorce lawyer could cost you much more than you’ve saved by filing yourself!

Another Important Reason for Having Your Own Divorce Lawyer

One of the most important reasons for not attempting “do-it-yourself divorces” is that the paperwork filed (and provided online) usually fails to address Pennsylvania’s unique divorce procedures. This is relatively easy to understand, as these “divorce kits” are not usually compiled by a lawyer and very rarely by a Pennsylvania lawyer.

All divorce rules and regulations differ from state to state, and this “one size fits all” divorce paperwork commonly never adequately addresses family law in Pennsylvania.

Even more valid in Pennsylvania is that the laws and procedures are different in each of the state’s 67 counties! You must remember that if the proper state and local county rules and guidelines for getting a divorce are not followed, your divorce will not be granted.

The county clerk’s office staff will inform you that your filing is incorrect but cannot instruct you on how to fix the problems. So, you’re on your own to figure out what is wrong and how to correct it!

When your divorce lawyer explains their fees, it is a “total” fee, and all the courts’ fees, etc., are included in the amount. Your local divorce lawyer will know all the pertinent information to obtain your divorce on your terms.

I Am Getting a Divorce in Pennsylvania; How Should I Proceed?

First, consult your family law divorce lawyer, and obtain the peace of mind that their expertise and experience will provide.

There are many ways to save time and money on your divorce in Pennsylvania than relying on a risky, “one size fits all” divorce package. Consult with a divorce lawyer with a proven history who will offer you cost-effective and efficient divorce options. By doing so, you can finalize your divorce within your budget, without the financial and emotional stress of attempting this challenging legal process yourself. 

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