The Mental Health Impact of Divorce and How You Can Cope

Ending a marriage can be emotionally devastating, leaving individuals grappling with a range of complex feelings. Divorce can trigger a rollercoaster of what may be overwhelming emotions. If you are in an abusive relationship, divorce may result in feelings of relief and happiness. On the other hand, the abrupt change in life circumstances and the end of what you once thought would be a life-long relationship can lead to a profound sense of loss. You may experience grief, anger, guilt, sadness, and fear. 

A sense of rejection and failure can contribute to damaged self-esteem. You may find yourself questioning your worth and struggling to redefine your identity outside your marriage. This emotional turmoil can extend to various aspects of life, seeping into your personal and professional lives. 

Mental Health Consequences 

One of divorce’s most challenging emotional aspects is a sense of isolation. Family and friends may not understand the depth of your emotional pain, and you may be hesitant to open up. The result can be profound loneliness, which may lead to more serious mental health issues. 

Divorce’s emotional toll can have lasting effects on mental health, contributing to anxiety and depression. The stress and uncertainty surrounding divorce proceedings can lead to sleep disturbances, appetite changes, and difficulty concentrating. 

Coping Strategies 

While the road to a post-divorce recovery may seem long and winding, you can take steps to safeguard your mental well-being: 

  • Professional therapy can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to explore your emotions and develop coping strategies. Therapists specialized in divorce-related issues can offer valuable insights and guidance. Many of our clients benefit from therapy, and you should not see it as something to fear, avoid, or be ashamed of. 
  • Sharing your thoughts and feelings with trusted individuals can alleviate the burden of loneliness and provide a sense of connection. Do not be afraid to rely on supportive family and friends.  
  • Engaging in self-care, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies, can promote mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Taking time for yourself is not a luxury but a necessity during this challenging period. 
  • Acknowledge that healing is a gradual process because there is no quick fix. Set realistic expectations for your recovery so you can navigate the emotional ups and downs without becoming discouraged. 
  • Dwelling on the past is a normal reaction, but fixating on red flags you missed, past mistakes, or choices you made will not get you far. Dwelling on what went wrong can hinder your progress. Shift your focus to the future and set new goals so you can feel empowered and enjoy a sense of purpose. 

Acknowledge your emotional challenges, get support, and implement coping strategies. You will start your life over with newfound strength and resilience. Though your journey may be difficult, with the right mindset and support system, a brighter future awaits you on the other side of your divorce. 

Get the Help You Need from an Attorney You Can Trust  

If you are considering getting divorced or have decided it is the right step, call us at (215) 608-1867. You can start a new chapter in your life regardless of your age. We can discuss this over the phone, via a teleconference, or meet in our Doylestown or Langhorne office.  

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I Own a Business, and I am Getting Divorced. What Will Happen? 

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Divorce outcomes are fact-driven. What will happen in your case depends on what is going on with your spouse, your business, and state law. We work with business owners to handle their unique situations fairly and protect their personal and business interests. There are “business owner gets divorced” horror stories, but your situation may be resolved so that the impact on your company is manageable (if not minimal) and you are able to start a new life. 

Part of the divorce process is the equitable distribution of assets, including determining which should be divided. After that, the judge decides whether a spouse is entitled to an asset (like business ownership, or at least part of it) based on their discretion and applicable law. Most divorce cases are settled through negotiations. Your spouse may accept other assets and/or spousal support in exchange for not pursuing claims related to your company. 

There are several factors in how your case may be resolved, including whether: 

  • You have an enforceable pre- or postnuptial agreement: Ideally, you both engaged with attorneys and worked out an agreement covering business ownership issues. If this is the case, the outcome may already be set. Time has passed, and with the benefit of hindsight, one or both of you may regret its terms. Unless both of you do not want to enforce the agreement and start all over again in the divorce process, how the issue will be handled has already been agreed upon. 
  • You have an unenforceable pre- or postnuptial agreement: There may be issues surrounding you or your spouse fully disclosing your business or financial situations and whether the agreement was voluntary. If your handwritten and mutually signed “contract” is not legally enforceable, it will not do you any good. Instead of contractual language, state law and its application to the facts will determine the outcome. 
  • You owned the business before your marriage, and your spouse has no ownership interest: Separate, personal property brought into the marriage is not subject to equitable division in divorce but any accrued value may be.   If your spouse had their own business or was fully occupied with their career and played no role in helping you or your business, they are not in a good position to claim they should be awarded partial ownership or part of its increased value during the marriage. Their claim becomes stronger if they gave up a career or spent substantial time and energy supporting you and your business.  
  • You started the business during your marriage: If the two of you co-own the company, hopefully, you have terms in a postnuptial or ownership agreement with a buy-sell provision that covers divorce. If so, it should state that in case of a divorce, one buys out the other’s interest with the price determined fairly and neutrally. Without an agreement, and if only you own the business, it can come down to whether your spouse helped you and your business, and if so, to what degree. The more your spouse sacrificed their life and career, the better argument they have to be awarded part ownership and/or a share of its increased value during the marriage 

The more organized, well-documented, and “by the book” you operate your business, the better off you will be in the divorce process. The more you run it by “the seat of your pants,” “under the table,” and engage in questionable practices to avoid taxes, the worse off you will be. You do not want to be in front of a judge insisting you are telling the truth if the evidence shows you are lying to the IRS. Credibility is critical if you cannot reach a settlement agreement with your spouse and your case goes to trial. Parties without credibility normally do not do well. 

Get the Help You Need From an Attorney You Can Trust 

The last thing you want is your marriage and your business to end at the same time. Whether you and/or your spouse own a business and want to learn more about how a divorce may impact you, call our office at (215) 608-1867 or book a consultation online. We can speak over the phone, via a teleconference, or meet in one of our offices in Doylestown or Langhorne.

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Pennsylvania Child Support Basics

The state’s child support laws create a system in which parents are obligated to support their own children. This requirement includes daily living expenses, including healthcare and daycare.   

Usually, one parent is the primary caregiver, and the other pays to help with the child’s needs. The money is not for the custodial parent’s benefit. It is to be spent on the child.  

Child support is also an issue during divorce proceedings when the spouses have a child. It could be one of many issues that must be resolved before the divorce is final. If the parents are living apart, a child support agreement or order can go into effect while the parents are still married. 

How Do I Start the Process? 

Child support can be arranged in several ways. Parents can agree on support and ask a judge to approve the agreement through a support order in a divorce or other family law proceeding. Most cases start when a parent completes an Application for Child Support and submits it to their local Bureau of Child Support Enforcement (BCSE) office. If your case involves other circumstances, we can help you work with BCSE to:   

  • Find a noncustodial parent 
  • Establish paternity if the child is born outside of marriage 
  • Establish support obligations 
  • Collect and distribute support 
  • Enforce support obligations 

What are Bucks County Child Support Payments Based On? 

Support is based on the reasonable: 

  • Needs of the child  
  • The ability of the non-custodial parent to pay 

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court creates support guidelines and should be the basis of any agreement. Judges also use them to develop a figure if no deal is reached. Guidelines are driven by the parents’ monthly income. Both parents may be ordered to pay support for a child not in their care. 

The most essential factors in the guideline include: 

  • The parents’ incomes 
  • Daycare costs 
  • Health insurance expenses 
  • The number of minor children of each parent 
  • Social Security benefits a child may receive 
  • The child’s living arrangements 

A judge will review the support amount at least every four years. After an order has been signed, if changed circumstances justify it, a parent can ask that the amount be increased or decreased. 

How Can Support Be Spent? 

Support can pay for: 

  • Food 
  • Clothing 
  • Shelter 
  • Medical insurance 
  • Medical expenses 
  • Education expenses 
  • Child care 
  • Visitation travel costs 
  • Extracurricular activities 

Child support obligations continue until the child is 18 or graduates high school. Child support payments may continue if they have special needs or continue their education. 

How are Child Support Orders Enforced? 

When a non-custodial parent does not pay the full support amount on time, they violate a court order and may face serious consequences. The receiving parent could file a court action to enforce the order, with or without an attorney’s help.  It is not wise to ignore a support order.  

A parent could also request help from BCSE, which can enforce child support orders by pursuing unpaid amounts on your child’s behalf. Typically, there is a small fee to start a case. BCSE has several enforcement tools at its disposal.  

Which approach is right for you depends on your circumstances. If child support is one of several matters we help you with, it makes sense for us to handle this issue, too. If you do not have money to spend on an attorney, BCSE is a good choice. 

We Can Help You Achieve Your Child Support Goals  

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., lawyers believe that, unless there is an agreement, parents should not receive less child support or pay more than the law requires. Whether you pay or receive child support, if you have questions about it or need legal representation, book a 15-minute consultation by filling out our online form.  

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Bucks County Custody Dispute? Help Yourself and Your Children Through the Process

Unless there is a serious issue, you will be sharing child custody with your co-parent in some way. This is not a problem for most parents because there is still some goodwill with the other parent. If you and your ex do not get along, you must find your way to peace.  A peaceful (or at least non-fighting) relationship will help you and your children navigate life after the divorce is over.  

What is Child Custody? 

Pennsylvania has two types of child custody: legal and physical. Legal custody is your ability to make important decisions concerning your child. They could concern education, healthcare, or religious upbringing. Courts award sole or shared legal custody (the more common arrangement).

Physical custody is the right to have your child live or be with you. There are different types of physical custody: 

  • Sole: One parent has exclusive physical custody.  
  • Primary: The child mostly lives with one parent, and generally, the other parent gets partial or supervised custody. 
  • Shared: The child spends roughly the same time with each parent. 
  • Partial: The child spends less than half the time with a parent. 
  • Supervised physical custody: A third party must be present for all visits between a parent and their child. This may happen if the parent has psychological or substance abuse problems. If this goes well, the parent may next get partial, unsupervised physical custody. 

The law encourages custody arrangements where both parents are part of a child’s life as long as it is in his or her best interest. 

How Do Child Custody Cases Proceed? 

Child custody disputes can become very emotional and heated. A parent may be angry about the relationship’s breakup and try to punish the other by trying to prevent or limit their child custody rights. 

This can actually hurt your chances of a favorable custody outcome. A parent’s willingness to share custody is often a factor in their favor when a judge decides who should get what kind of custody. The more you want it all to yourself (without justification), the more you harm your case. 

Like all family law disputes, child custody cases are overwhelmingly resolved through negotiation. Some cases take longer to resolve than others, the emotional sparks fly more in some more than others, and sometimes mediation helps the parties reach a resolution.  

But no matter how you cut it, nearly all child custody disputes are solved through negotiations. Chances are yours will, too, so why not give it a good faith, honest effort? 

Why Should You Negotiate Your Child Custody Dispute? 

There are many benefits to this approach: 

  • A court battle can strain even the most positive relationships between parents. Although negotiations can be stressful, they allow parents to maintain open lines of communication, fostering a cooperative environment that is crucial for co-parenting. 
  • Negotiation empowers parents to prioritize their children’s needs. A judge will not have an intimate knowledge of the family dynamics that parents possess. Through negotiation, parents can craft a custody agreement that accommodates their child’s unique needs, preferences, and routines resulting in a more tailored arrangement. 
  • Child custody battles can be emotionally draining for all parties involved, especially the child. Negotiating a settlement outside of the courtroom can mitigate the emotional toll. This approach tends to be less confrontational and reduces the stress for both parents and children. 
  • Legal proceedings can be expensive. Negotiation is usually a more cost-effective option than prolonged court battles. Parents can shorten the process, saving themselves time, energy, grief, and legal fees.

Do not leave it to a judge. It never works out quite how you think it will. Why do more parents negotiate child custody settlements than use litigation to resolve the issue? The benefits outweigh the costs. 

Child Custody Attorneys You Can Trust 

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. attorneys will work with you to negotiate a resolution to help you achieve your goals, protect your rights, and serve your child’s best interests. If you have questions about custody issues or need legal representation, call us at (215) 752-6200 today. 

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