Co-parenting and Dangerous Parenting

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Co-parenting after splitting up can be challenging, even when both sides are well-meaning and cooperative. It’s a lot more difficult to navigate co-parenting when there are signs of dangerous parenting on the side of your ex-partner. 

Courts will always prioritize well-being while protecting children from high-conflict co-parenting. Consider the following when creating a safety plan for co-parenting with a risky ex.

What If You’re Concerned for Your Child’s Safety When They’re With Your Ex?

As a rule, family law courts believe it’s in the child’s best interests to spend time with both parents. However, some signs might tell you that your ex is unsafe for your kids.

Certain things your children do or say after spending time with the other parent could make you believe it’s dangerous for them to stay with your ex unsupervised. In this scenario, stay vigilant and consult a custody lawyer who knows how to navigate co-parenting and dangerous parenting.

Red Flags of Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

If your child comes back from their other parent with bruises or other signs of physical harm or tells you that your ex has abused them, you’ll want to take immediate action. However, not all abuse is obvious, especially if your child is too young to describe what happened.

Neglect and lack of supervision are also a form of abuse. For example, maybe your child often returns underfed or dirty from your ex’s house, or you discover that your ex neglects to ensure they take their prescription medications. You may also suspect your co-parent lets your child engage in risky or age-inappropriate activities without supervision. 

Finally, you may feel concerned about your ex-partner’s unaddressed problem of alcohol or substance abuse in the context of co-parenting.

You Must Still Obey Court Orders

While courts focus on prioritizing child safety in co-parenting plans, they expect you to comply with the proper procedures and present solid proof of your co-parent’s risky behavior. 

A seasoned lawyer can help you look into legal options for limiting contact with a dangerous parent. However, you can’t simply withhold parenting time based on suspicion. You could get into serious trouble, and the court may reduce your parenting time.

Document Each Incident of Potentially Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

Did your child tell you their other parent pushed, shoved, or slapped them? Write it down and date it. Did your ex-partner send you a text message or voicemail admitting they let the children stay outside until late unsupervised, despite your insistence to the contrary? Save this message.

Keep a personal record of all your ex-partner’s actions that are abusive or could potentially endanger your kids. Then, consult a family lawyer for reliable advice on keeping your children safe.

Dealing With an Unsafe Co-Parent? Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Do you believe your ex is an unsafe co-parent? The skilled divorce and custody lawyers of Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you handle co-parenting and dangerous parenting, including co-parenting with a narcissist or abusive ex. Call us at (866) 349-4907 or schedule a consultation online.

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A Brief Guide To Appealing Your Divorce

Imagine this scenario: A judge has ruled on your divorce, and you are unhappy with the decision. Is there anything you can do?

In some situations, you may be able to seek a more favorable judgment that allows you to modify the judge’s original decision regarding child custody or support, property distribution, alimony, and debt arrangements.

This article explores the various grounds for divorce appeal and recommendations for challenging unfair divorce settlement findings.

When You Can Appeal Your Divorce

There’s no question that contesting divorce decree provisions is not easy, and you must have a compelling reason to do so. It’s not enough to simply say that you disagree with the judge, or that you feel the outcome is “unfair.”

Instead, you need to have proper grounds for filing an appeal. There are a few ways you can do this. One of the most common rationales for overturned divorce settlements on appeal is that there was some kind of mistake made.

Examples of mistakes include the judge misinterpreting the law, not correctly applying the legal standards, or making an error regarding the facts. 

Other potential grounds for appealing your divorce could be a showing that there was a lack of evidence to support the judge’s findings or there was another problem with the evidence that impacted the judge’s ability to rule fairly. This often comes down to the judge abusing their discretion and making an unreasonable final decision.

Even if you can demonstrate one or more of the above flaws in the case, there is still a final obstacle to overcome before your case can even be heard. You will have to be able to show that whatever the mistake or flaw was, it would have materially affected the outcome of your case.

How To File a Divorce Appeal in Bucks County

Once you have identified the proper grounds for a divorce appeal, the legal process of overturning the initial judgment and seeking a new one comes next.

The first step in this process is filing a Notice of Appeal, which ultimately informs your former spouse that you intend to appeal the judge’s decision. From there, your attorney will prepare the “Record,” which includes the transcripts and documents from the initial proceeding.

Upon completion of this step, your attorney will file an appellate brief that outlines all of your legal arguments. After being assigned a court date, you’ll be able to present your arguments about the grounds for the appeal and the relevant evidence to support your case.

Finally comes the waiting part of the appeals process. This can take several days, and the court may affirm or reverse the trial court’s decision. It’s also possible that the judgment may be modified or the case could be remanded back to the trial court with further instructions.

Contact an Experienced Appellate Lawyer for Divorce Cases

While the goal is to stay out of court so you and your spouse can make all the decisions, sometimes an appeal is necessary. For more information or to begin the appeal process, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at 866-349-4907 for an initial consultation.

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Is a Parent’s Home Unsuitable for Visitation? Here Are Some Options

While there is no such thing as a “perfect” home, a child must have a safe, stable, and healthy environment in which to live. If you believe that your former spouse or partner is putting the mental, physical, or emotional safety of your child at risk by not maintaining a home suitable for visitation, keep reading to learn more about your options.

What Really Makes a Home Unfit for Child Visitation?

Whether a home is actually adequate for a child to live in or visit depends on numerous factors. A judge can evaluate if an environment meets the overall criteria, looking specifically for objective signs that the home is suitable, comfortable, and safe for children.

Obvious signs of unsuitability include substance abuse, domestic violence, and physical abuse. In these situations, the other parent can be ruled unfit, and the court can remove the child from the home.

There are also more subtle clues that a parent’s home is genuinely unsuitable for visitation. For example, an unclean, a hoarding situation, or a lack of basic needs (like utilities being deactivated), clearly indicate that the parent is ill-equipped to provide a home appropriate for visitation.

Additional factors may also come into play. For example, if the other parent is neglecting the child or not being responsive to their needs, that could be a sign that the environment is unsuitable. While there can be universal guidelines, many of these judgments may come down to an individual situation based on the age of the child and the current and past rules set by or agreed upon by the parents.

One of the first steps in protecting a child from having to spend time in a home that is unsuitable for visitation is to gather evidence of an unsafe visitation environment. This can involve documenting your concerns and communicating constructively with the other parent.

In keeping with the goal of protecting the best interests of the child, anyone who suspects abuse or neglect can report the situation to Child Protective Services. This initiates an investigation and includes interviews, home observations, and reports, which can be used as evidence in court.

A family law attorney can guide you in pursuing legal actions such as filing a petition to restrict visitation due to unfit home conditions or pursuing child custody modifications due to unsafe conditions. If there is concern that both parents’ homes are unsuitable for visitation, the next step may be to explore alternative solutions such as conducting visitations at a neutral site.

Contact an Experienced Family Law Attorney

Every child deserves to grow up and thrive in a truly safe and healthy environment. At Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., our law firm takes an empathetic and compassionate approach to resolving child custody conflicts, including those centered around safety.

To learn more about how our attorneys can help you, call us at 866-349-4907 for a consultation.

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When To Consider Parallel Parenting

Studies show that children have better outcomes when they are able to spend approximately 50% of their time with each parent. However, this can be difficult in a contentious Bucks County divorce or when two parents have drastically different parenting styles.

In these high-conflict situations, parallel parenting can be the recommended solution to ensure that the kids spend ample time with each parent, yet the warring parents don’t have to interact much (if at all) with each other.

This article defines the concept of parallel parenting, including when it might be the right solution for divorced parents.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

A parallel parenting situation occurs when each parent makes their own decisions about the children’s care and activities while they are in that parent’s respective custody. In other words, parallel parenting is when you are both parenting, but doing your own thing.

This approach to custody and decision-making is typically recommended when parents do not get along. Parallel parenting is a co-parenting method that minimizes contact between the two parents because each parent has the authority to exercise autonomy and authority within their own household.

Parallel Parenting vs. Shared Custody

In a co-parenting arrangement, parallel parenting is markedly different from shared custody (also referred to as joint custody). With shared custody, both parents work together in regard to important decisions, including education, healthcare, religious upbringing, etc.

By contrast, parallel parenting virtually eliminates this shared decision-making, and communication methods for parallel parenting arrangements may be limited to email, text messaging, parenting apps, shared online platforms (like Google Drive or Dropbox), third-party mediators, and written communication.

These methods of communication minimize interactions between the parents while allowing them to exchange vital information about a child’s well-being.

While co-parenting is ideal, it’s not always practical or healthy. Parallel parenting is good in high-conflict situations. One of the key benefits of parallel parenting for children is that both parents maintain a good relationship with their kids, and the parents don’t have to interact with each other.

One potential downside of high-conflict co-parenting strategies like parallel parenting is that it opens up the door for kids to play the parents off of each other because communication is kept to a minimum.

Benefits of Parallel Parenting

When both parents want to be involved in their children’s lives but cannot maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship, parallel parenting can be a preferred approach.

The benefits of parallel parenting include reduced conflict and tension between the parents and the two homes, better-established boundaries, predictable and established communication methods, lower stress levels (due to reduced contact and arguments), and overall improved co-parenting skills.

While it may be ideal for both parents to cooperate and communicate with each other instead of in parallel, it’s important to consider the impact that ongoing conflict can have on the psychological health of the child.

Contact an Experienced Child Custody Attorney

Navigating parallel parenting, including creating a parallel parenting schedule, can be an important step in ensuring that your children have a healthy and stable living situation. To learn more about parallel parenting, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at 866-349-4907 for a consultation.

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