Child Custody: What Not To Do for the Good of Your Kids

How can you help your child navigate your divorce?  Keep the focus and a close eye on them, agree to be civil and peaceful, and let them process the changes.  

Working out a child custody agreement is one of the biggest priorities for divorcing couples with kids. Just because you and your spouse don’t want to remain married doesn’t mean you must give up parenting time and miss out on parental involvement as your children grow up.

However, you will need to avoid certain things that could affect the status of a child custody agreement. This will reduce the chances of you ending up in a custody battle later on because you chose not to play by the rules you helped establish.

Here are several examples of what not to do when it comes to child custody.

Criticizing Your Ex

As part of the child custody agreement you and your ex-spouse reached, you’ll likely have specific times throughout each week when you’ll have sole custody of your kids. If your divorce is still fresh on your mind, you might use this as an opportunity to tell your kids details about your divorce. You might also use it to criticize their other parent while in their presence.

Steer clear of doing these actions at all costs. Studies on children with divorced parents have shown that about one-third of them wish their parents wouldn’t criticize each other while they’re around. It can do a disservice to kids by making them feel like they’re stuck in the middle.

Even if you and your ex-spouse aren’t cordial in the aftermath of your divorce and continue to disagree over issues like child support, you shouldn’t let it show when you’re with your kids. Instead, keep the focus on them to take full advantage of your child custody setup.

Failing to Cooperate

If you’re constantly uncooperative while communicating with your spouse about child custody, it could create major problems. They may accuse you of being difficult and begin documenting all the instances in which you’ve given them a hard time. It could lead to a judge changing the terms of your original child custody agreement to minimize the contact you have with your ex-spouse and/or kids.

To keep your initial child custody agreement intact, stick to the child custody schedule that you agreed to and that a judge signed off on.

Being Inconsiderate

Are you always showing up late to pick up your kids or calling your ex-spouse at the last minute to let them know you can’t make it for a visit? Worse, do you take your children on vacation without letting your ex-spouse know or even just pick them up early from school on certain days without your ex-spouse’s permission?

All these actions are inconsiderate, to say the least. They are also reasons that a judge might cite for needing to make adjustments to your current child custody schedule.

Need Help With a Child Custody Case? Let Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Lend a Hand

Divorce cases that involve child custody can be more complex than other divorce cases. Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can provide the legal representation you need to navigate your way through a complicated case. Call (866) 311-4783 now to arrange a consultation.

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College and Divorce: Covering Kids’ Tuition and Other Costs

Just because you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are ending your marriage doesn’t mean your kids can’t still receive a college education. You should, however, devise a plan regarding college and divorce to ensure your kids can afford to enroll one day.

See how to accomplish this goal below.

Who Pays College Tuition for Kids Following a Divorce?

In a perfect world, divorced parents with kids wouldn’t have to worry about who would pay for their children’s college tuition since the school would provide enough financial aid and scholarships to cover those costs.

In reality, most situations involving college and divorce are more complicated and involve some level of financial investment. It isn’t always clear which parent should pay for college-related expenses, leading to confusion and, in some cases, resentment.

You and your ex-spouse should be on the same page as far as who will cover which college costs. In some cases, one of you might be in a financial position that allows you to cover significantly more costs than the other. However, you might also need to agree to fill out a Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form with your kids to take out loans to pay for their schooling.

Do Child Support Payments Continue When Kids Attend College?

When a married couple with kids chooses to divorce, they usually come up with a custody agreement. As part of it, one parent typically agrees to pay the other child support until their kids turn 18.

However, you and your ex-spouse might decide to extend child support payments beyond this point and use them to pay for your kids’ college tuition. This could turn into one parent’s contribution while the other pays out of pocket for additional expenses.

How Can You and Your Ex-Spouse Plan Ahead for College?

Married couples ready to divorce shouldn’t wait until their kids are college-aged to figure out who will pay for higher education. Instead, they should talk about their expectations for paying for college while working on their initial divorce settlement.

Whether your kids are still small or on the verge of going to college in a few years, make the proper plans for paying for their college educations in advance. This will prevent you from having to scramble to come up with last-minute solutions to dealing with college and divorce.

Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., To Assist With Your Divorce

When it comes to who pays for college and divorce, there aren’t any definitive laws. It’s one of the many instances in which divorced couples must set their feelings for one another aside and do what’s right for their kids.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help make this possible. Call (866) 311-4783 to learn about your options.

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What Happens After Divorce Papers Are Filed?

Serving divorce papers is typically the first step taken during the divorce process. One party will file for either a no-fault or fault-based divorce through a lawyer. This attorney will put together the proper divorce paperwork and have it served to the other party to start the process.

But what happens after divorce papers are filed and served? It often varies from one divorce case to the next.

Keep reading to find out which steps take place once divorce papers have been filed.

The Spouse Who Received Divorce Papers Responds

The spouse who files an initial divorce complaint is considered the plaintiff in a divorce case. They must arrange to have their soon-to-be ex-spouse served with divorce papers. This spouse is considered the defendant in a divorce case and has 20 days in Pennsylvania to review the papers and respond.

In some cases, the defendant in a divorce case is expecting divorce papers and can respond to them quickly. In others, they’ll find themselves caught off guard and want to connect with a divorce lawyer before taking any further action to learn the answers to questions like, “What happens after divorce papers are filed?”

A Divorcing Couple Goes Through a Separation Period

In Pennsylvania, married couples aren’t allowed to simply file for divorce and go their separate ways in a matter of days, weeks, or months. Even if a couple plans to keep things amicable and go through a mutual consent divorce, they’ll need to endure a mandatory separation period before they can officially divorce.  

In the greater Bucks County area, we follow Pennsylvania laws for divorce.  The Keystone State imposes a one-year separation period for no-fault divorce cases. However, this can be shortened to 90 days (also known as the cooling off period) in instances in which the couple agrees to move forward. Fault-based divorces are an exception to this rule. They won’t need to go through a waiting period since these cases usually involve serious issues like adultery, domestic violence, substance abuse, etc.

The Rest of the Divorce Process Moves Forward

After a married couple spends a year living separately, they can go to divorce court in Pennsylvania to go through the formal divorce process. This process involves ironing out issues, such as marital property division, alimony, child custody, and more, in front of a judge.

You and your partner might also have the option to skip divorce court by coming up with a divorce agreement. Divorce lawyers for you and your partner can work on hammering out an agreement outside of court so you don’t have to deal with the stress of going through the usual divorce proceedings.

Start Working With Trusted Divorce Attorney Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.

In some situations, the answer to the question, “What happens after divorce papers are filed?” is straightforward. In other instances, it can confuse a person going through divorce proceedings for the first time.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., is here to help you make sense of the divorce process. Call (866) 311-4783 to speak with a divorce lawyer you can count on.

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Who Pays the Bills During Divorce Proceedings?

Studies have shown that going through a divorce can take a huge physical and mental toll on a person. Divorcees are more likely to have health-related issues including heart issues and depression.

A divorce can also present problems for a person’s financial situation, especially if they share joint finances with their soon-to-be ex-spouse. They might struggle to answer the question, “Who pays the bills during divorce proceedings?”

If you’re going through a divorce, you’ll want to answer this question first. It will prevent you from falling behind on your financial obligations during the divorce process.

If You and Your Partner Are on Good Terms

Recent surveys suggest about one-third of divorced couples describe their splits as “amicable.” If you and your partner are ending your marriage but are still on good terms, it should bode well for you when answering the question, “Who pays the bills during divorce proceedings?”

In this case, you and your partner should attempt to stick to the status quo and continue paying your bills just like you always have. If, for instance, you’ve traditionally used both your paychecks to cover household expenses, keep doing this.

Take this approach to paying:

  • Mortgages
  • Insurance premiums
  • Utilities
  • Car notes
  • Grocery bills
  • Daycare costs

Just confirm your partner is holding up their end of the bargain. Gain access to online accounts you share and check to see that they’re making payments.

If You and Your Partner Aren’t on Good Terms

While some couples keep things cordial during divorces, others end up on bad terms from the second they separate. This can complicate matters when answering the question, “Who pays the bills during divorce proceedings?”

If you and your partner are going through a contentious divorce, you shouldn’t simply trust them to continue to operate in good faith when it comes to paying the bills. You both need to sit down and come to an official agreement about who is in charge of paying which bills.

You might even want to secure a temporary order from a judge laying out how you’ll pay your bills. This order will reveal:

  • How much income you and your partner make
  • Which of you is responsible for paying which bills
  • What will happen if one of you decides not to pay bills

A Word of Caution

Divorce often brings out the worst in people. This is especially true in divorce cases involving alimony and child support.

If you have the slightest inclination that your divorce proceedings might not go smoothly, work with a divorce attorney to create an agreement between you and your partner.

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., for Help With Complicated Divorce Issues

“Who pays the bills during divorce proceedings?” is just one of many questions you’ll encounter as you go through the divorce process. You might also have to work out issues as you divide your marital assets and take other important steps.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can speak with you about your situation and aim to make your divorce less stressful. Call 866-311-4783 to schedule a consultation.

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