Moving Out of PA With Your Child Before Divorce

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Divorces offer a fresh start and an opportunity to move to a new location, putting the past behind you. However, moving out of state becomes more complicated if you have children with your ex-spouse. 

Relocating will affect your child custody arrangement and parenting plan. If you plan to take your child with you, be sure you understand the guidelines around moving out with your child before the divorce. 

Can You Move Out of State Before or During the Divorce? 

You can relocate before or during the divorce, but you’ll need to navigate the process correctly. The steps may look different depending on whether you plan to bring your child with you during the move.  

Moving Out of State With Your Kids

Moving out of state with your child before the divorce may sound like a tempting idea, especially if you don’t want your spouse to gain shared custody. But you cannot do this without severely disrupting the custody process — unless your spouse fully agrees. 

The court prioritizes the best interests of the child when drafting parenting plans. If you want to move out of state with your child, you’ll need to show that the move would be in their best interests. A judge would consider all of the following to make this determination: 

  • The child’s preference in custody
  • The ability of the child to maintain a relationship with the non-relocating parent
  • The reason for relocation
  • The age and needs of the child
  • The anticipated emotional and educational impact of the move

Working with an experienced child custody attorney can help show that the move would be in the child’s best interests.

Moving Out of State Without Your Kids

If you plan to move out of the state sometime after the divorce, even if you don’t plan to bring your children, make your intentions known. You would need to file a parenting plan modification to update the court about your relocation. You would also need to ensure your spouse can handle tasks like selling the house on their own. 

Planning for the move before you finalize the parenting plan will make this process much easier. If you move out of state, sharing custody with the child’s other parent becomes more challenging. You will need to consider both of your locations when drafting a reasonable and fair parenting plan. 

What About Relocating After the Divorce? 

If you want to move out of state after the parenting plan has been finalized, you’ll need to meet relocation notice requirements and modify the parenting plan. This involves attending a relocation hearing and explaining why the move would be in the child’s best interests. The child’s other parent has the option to submit an objection and counter-affidavit to your request. 

Seek Assistance With Custodial Rights and Relocation 

Your divorce shouldn’t stop you from pursuing career goals or aspirations that require you to move states. Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you protect your rights to custody during a relocation. Contact us today at 866-349-4461 for your consultation. 

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Co-Parenting Success

One of the toughest aspects of divorce is sharing your kids with your ex. You may not like your ex, and they might not care for you, but both of you love your kids. How can you make sure your children have a happy relationship with their other parent if the two of you struggle to even make eye contact?

Developing flexible problem-solving skills with your ex is a challenge, but one well worth overcoming. Below, you’ll find tips to guide you on the path to co-parenting success.

Helping Your Child Adjust to Their New Life

Divorce may feel like a breath of fresh air for you, but for your kids, it can be extremely upsetting. Suddenly, they’re splitting time between two homes and two sets of parents. In addition to that, maybe they have new siblings and a new school. It’s a lot to take in for little ones.

To help your kids adjust, work with your ex-spouse to establish consistent routines. Children thrive with a set schedule for meals, homework, playtime, and bedtime. Ask your ex to maintain your child’s schedule when it’s their time with the kids.

Encourage Open Communication Between Your Ex and Kids

Many parents try to keep their kids away from their exes as a way to hurt them. No matter how much you dislike your ex, though, you should never use your children as a weapon. Not only does this hurt your child’s well-being, but courts tend to frown on those who keep children away from the other parent.

Encourage your kids and ex-spouse to talk to each other regularly, whether that’s through phone calls, emails, or in-person meetings. If anything important comes up in your child’s life (health updates, school events, etc.), be sure to share them with your ex. You may not like doing it, but it’s a cornerstone of co-parenting success.

Be a Person of Your Word

It’s your ex-spouse’s week to have the kids, and maybe you’re tempted to show up late to the dropoff just to spite them. Doing that might feel good in the moment, but it only places stress on the kids and damages your relationship with your ex.

If you say you’re going to be somewhere at a certain time, keep your word. Your ex will be more likely to do the same for you.

Don’t Like How Your Ex-Spouse Parents? Keep It to Yourself

Maybe your kids come home excitedly chatting about that treat Daddy fed them or the toy Mom bought as a surprise. You think your ex is spoiling them rotten, and you don’t like it. But if you want to maintain successful boundaries, you’d be smart not to say a word.

Ex-spouses shouldn’t judge each other’s parenting styles. All that does is create hostility and confuse the kids. It’s wiser to just stay silent and maintain respectful boundaries (unless, of course, your ex’s parenting style places your children in danger).

We’ll Help You Create a Positive Co-Parenting Dynamic

Achieving co-parenting success is a big challenge, but the attorneys at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. will help you overcome it. For a consultation, call us at (215) 752-6200.

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What To Expect When Meeting With a CCES Evaluator

If you’ve been ordered to undergo a meeting with a CCES evaluator, you’re probably feeling a bit nervous. What happens during the interview? What kinds of questions will the evaluator ask you?

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. explains the Bucks County CCES meeting process and what to expect during your interview below.

What Is CCES?

CCES stands for “Court Conciliation and Evaluation Service.” Its main goal is to help parents create a parenting plan that is in the child’s best interest. If parents can’t agree on a parenting plan, CCES will create one for them based on the evaluation.

CCES takes place over six to eight sessions. In addition to the evaluation, CCES sessions can include co-parenting counseling and education.

The Custody Evaluation Process

The CCES process begins with a referral and ends with the creation of a parenting plan following interviews, document review, and court recommendations.

CCES Referral and Form Completion

Either the Custody Master or judge assigned to your case can submit a referral for CCES. You and the child’s other parent must fill out the Referral Form and Consent and Waiver Form. Once you’ve submitted the forms, you’ll have to pay your portion of the CCES fee within 14 days.

CCES Evaluator Assignment

After submitting forms and paying the fee, you’ll have a CCES evaluator assigned to your case. If there is a mutual preference, parties can select up to three names from the CCES evaluator list.

Evaluator assignment is based on:

  • The evaluator’s caseload
  • No conflicts of interest
  • The parties’ geographical area
  • Mutual preference

Individual and Joint Interviews

First, the CCES evaluator will meet with you and the child’s other parent individually. During the meeting, you can discuss the history of the custody case and any issues you have regarding the current parenting plan. Bring documents that you want the evaluator to review to this meeting.

After meeting with both parents separately, there will be a joint meeting. This meeting allows the evaluator to see how the parents interact with each other. The evaluator watches:

  • Body language
  • How each parent speaks about the other
  • Consistency in their stories

Next, the evaluator will meet with the children if they’re of an appropriate age. The evaluator may also want to interview grandparents, stepparents, or other parties that spend a lot of time with the children.

Document Review

Lastly, the evaluator will review all relevant documents, which may include medical records, school transcripts, text messages, etc. They will then create a clinical report with a recommendation on how to resolve the disputes between parents. Depending on the evaluator’s caseload, it can take several months for them to finish their report.

If the parents can’t reach an agreement after reviewing the report, they may file a motion for a hearing with a judge. 

Our Attorneys Can Help You Create the Right Co-Parenting Plan

Do you need advice on preparing for your meeting with a CCES evaluator? Considering trying mediation? Reach out to Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. at (215) 752-6200 to schedule a consultation.

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I Don’t Talk to My Kids – Reunification Therapy

Not having a relationship with your children can be heartbreaking. Regardless of the circumstances that led to you and your children not speaking, you can attempt to repair the relationship with reunification therapy. This process could even help you resolve custody disputes and allow you to regain visitation with your kids. 

Here’s what you need to know.

What Is Reunification Therapy? 

Reunification therapy is a form of mental health therapy that aims to restore parent-child relationships. Judges sometimes order reunification therapy to help resolve messy child custody disputes. Courts like parents and children to be involved in each other’s lives, and this is one way to promote a healthy familial unit. 

In many families where the parents do not share custody, there is a “favored parent” and a “rejected parent.” Reunifying the rejected parent with the child and strengthening the relationship often requires therapeutic intervention. 

During reunification therapy, a therapist works with a parent and their child to improve communication and restore the bond between them. Techniques may include:

  • Family systems therapy, which involves resolving conflicts within the family unit
  • Education sessions about family dynamics
  • Setting boundaries and discussing co-parenting guidelines

Reunification therapy is child-focused and moves at the child’s pace. While the entire family can experience emotional healing through this therapy, the main goal is for the child to find healing and strengthen their relationship with the rejected parent. 

Reunification Therapy and Child Custody 

Judges often recommend or order reunification for families going through stressful custody disputes. It’s often a necessary method of resolving parental alienation. Alienation happens when one parent turns the child against the other parent to attempt to secure more favorable visitation or custody. 

After a family goes through reunification therapy, they may be more willing to concede to split custody. The child may also be happier in the home with the alienated parent. 

This process is often slow and involves other steps, such as individual therapy. With these tools, estranged families learn how to restore their relationships while maintaining healthy boundaries. 

Who Needs Reunification Therapy? 

Not having any communication with your kids is a surefire sign that you could benefit from reunification therapy. Your family may also benefit from this therapy if any of the following are true. 

  • Your ex has turned your child against you. 
  • Your relationship with your child has become strained, and the child favors the other parent.
  • A judge has ordered reunification therapy as part of your child custody arrangement. 

Reunification therapy is sometimes recommended in cases where a parent has been in drug or alcohol rehab, and their addiction has impacted their relationship with their child. In this case, supervised visitation may be safer for the child. 

Seek Child Custody Assistance From Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Gaining custody can be challenging if you don’t talk to your kids. Reunification therapy can help. You should also work with an experienced family law attorney to navigate the child custody process successfully while prioritizing your child’s interests. 

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., today at (866) 349-4721 to schedule a consultation.

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Child Custody – What Not To Say About Your Ex

Your emotions are probably intense if you’re navigating a heated child custody battle. Saying something negative about your ex may seem like a good idea. After all, couldn’t it show the judge that you should have full custody instead of them?  

In reality, saying the wrong thing during a custody battle can hurt your case. It can also place more stress on your children during an already tumultuous process. Our Bucks County, PA child custody attorneys provide a few tips on what not to say or do during a child custody battle. 

Don’t Say Negative Words About Your Ex to Your Children

Your children are at the heart of your custody battle. It can be tempting to involve them in your arguments by slandering your ex in front of them. 

Maybe you want to vent to your kids about how rude your ex is. It’s much better to vent to a friend or an attorney than to involve your children. 

Kids become confused easily and don’t need to know the details of your dispute with your spouse. If the judge hears you were complaining about your ex to your kids, they may believe you were trying to alienate them, which could affect your co-parenting agreement and visitation rights. 

Don’t Tell Your Children What Your Ex Did

Did your ex cheat on you? Steal money from your joint accounts? Lie about their behavior? Tell it to the court — not your children. On the rare chance your child is called to testify, a judge will not look favorably on your tattling about your ex to your kids. Your custody battle is already stressful enough for your children without you encouraging them to choose sides or lose trust in their other parent. 

Don’t Tell Lies About Your Ex

You may be tempted to make up lies about your ex in court to prove poor parental conduct. Maybe you believe your ex would be neglectful of your child, but you don’t have any proof of them acting that way, so you decide to make up a story about how they forgot to pick your child up from school. 

If a judge finds out you lied in court, it could have devastating consequences for your child custody case.  

Don’t Be Rude or Disrespectful 

While tensions run high during child custody battles, avoid being rude or disrespectful to anyone involved in your case. Unkind words to your spouse can make their way to the judge’s ears and hurt your case.

You especially need to watch what you say in court. Judges make decisions in the child’s best interest, and if they see you acting immaturely or aggressively, they’ll consider your behavior when finalizing the court orders. 

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., for Guidance Through Your Custody Battle

Knowing what to say and what not to say during a child custody dispute can be challenging. Allow experienced and compassionate divorce attorney Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., to guide you. Contact us today at (866) 349-4721 to schedule a confidential consultation. 

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Child Custody: What Not To Do for the Good of Your Kids

How can you help your child navigate your divorce?  Keep the focus and a close eye on them, agree to be civil and peaceful, and let them process the changes.  

Working out a child custody agreement is one of the biggest priorities for divorcing couples with kids. Just because you and your spouse don’t want to remain married doesn’t mean you must give up parenting time and miss out on parental involvement as your children grow up.

However, you will need to avoid certain things that could affect the status of a child custody agreement. This will reduce the chances of you ending up in a custody battle later on because you chose not to play by the rules you helped establish.

Here are several examples of what not to do when it comes to child custody.

Criticizing Your Ex

As part of the child custody agreement you and your ex-spouse reached, you’ll likely have specific times throughout each week when you’ll have sole custody of your kids. If your divorce is still fresh on your mind, you might use this as an opportunity to tell your kids details about your divorce. You might also use it to criticize their other parent while in their presence.

Steer clear of doing these actions at all costs. Studies on children with divorced parents have shown that about one-third of them wish their parents wouldn’t criticize each other while they’re around. It can do a disservice to kids by making them feel like they’re stuck in the middle.

Even if you and your ex-spouse aren’t cordial in the aftermath of your divorce and continue to disagree over issues like child support, you shouldn’t let it show when you’re with your kids. Instead, keep the focus on them to take full advantage of your child custody setup.

Failing to Cooperate

If you’re constantly uncooperative while communicating with your spouse about child custody, it could create major problems. They may accuse you of being difficult and begin documenting all the instances in which you’ve given them a hard time. It could lead to a judge changing the terms of your original child custody agreement to minimize the contact you have with your ex-spouse and/or kids.

To keep your initial child custody agreement intact, stick to the child custody schedule that you agreed to and that a judge signed off on.

Being Inconsiderate

Are you always showing up late to pick up your kids or calling your ex-spouse at the last minute to let them know you can’t make it for a visit? Worse, do you take your children on vacation without letting your ex-spouse know or even just pick them up early from school on certain days without your ex-spouse’s permission?

All these actions are inconsiderate, to say the least. They are also reasons that a judge might cite for needing to make adjustments to your current child custody schedule.

Need Help With a Child Custody Case? Let Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Lend a Hand

Divorce cases that involve child custody can be more complex than other divorce cases. Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can provide the legal representation you need to navigate your way through a complicated case. Call (866) 311-4783 now to arrange a consultation.

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Co-parenting and Dangerous Parenting

Co-parenting after splitting up can be challenging even when both sides are well-meaning and cooperative. It’s a lot more difficult when navigating co-parenting and dangerous parenting on your ex-partner’s side. 

Courts will always prioritize well-being while protecting children from high-conflict co-parenting. Consider the following when creating a safety plan for co-parenting with a risky ex.

What If You’re Concerned for Your Child’s Safety When They’re With Your Ex?

As a rule, family law courts believe it’s in the child’s best interests to spend time with both parents. However, some signs might tell you that your ex is unsafe for your kids.

Certain things your children do or say after spending time with the other parent could make you believe it’s dangerous for them to stay with your ex unsupervised. In this scenario, stay vigilant and consult a custody lawyer who knows how to navigate co-parenting and dangerous parenting.

Red Flags of Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

If your child comes back from their other parent with bruises or other signs of physical harm or tells you that your ex has abused them, you’ll want to take immediate action. However, not all abuse is obvious, especially if your child is too young to describe what happened.

Neglect and lack of supervision are also a form of abuse. For example, maybe your child often returns underfed or dirty from your ex’s house, or you discover that your ex neglects to ensure they take their prescription medications. You may also suspect your co-parent lets your child engage in risky or age-inappropriate activities without supervision. 

Finally, you may feel concerned about your ex-partner’s unaddressed problem of alcohol or substance abuse in the context of co-parenting.

You Must Still Obey Court Orders

While courts focus on prioritizing child safety in co-parenting plans, they expect you to comply with the proper procedures and present solid proof of your co-parent’s risky behavior. 

A seasoned lawyer can help you look into legal options for limiting contact with a dangerous parent. However, you can’t simply withhold parenting time based on suspicion. You could get into serious trouble, and the court may reduce your parenting time.

Document Each Incident of Potentially Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

Did your child tell you their other parent pushed, shoved, or slapped them? Write it down and date it. Did your ex-partner send you a text message or voicemail admitting they let the children stay outside until late unsupervised, despite your insistence not to? Save this message.

Keep a personal record of all your ex-partner’s actions that are abusive or could potentially endanger your kids. Then, consult a family lawyer for reliable advice on keeping your children safe.

Dealing With an Unsafe Co-Parent? Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Do you believe your ex is an unsafe co-parent? The skilled divorce and custody lawyers of Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you handle co-parenting and dangerous parenting, including co-parenting with a narcissist or abusive ex. Call us at (866) 349-4907 or schedule a consultation online.

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Child Custody and Religious Upbringing

Religion is a contested topic in many divorces, specifically when there are minor children in the picture. When a custody dispute involves religion, the judges in Bucks County, PA will always put the child’s interest first.

Who decides on matters of religious upbringing in child custody agreements? How do you approach balancing religious beliefs in co-parenting? Let’s talk about religion and how it impacts child custody. 

Can My Spouse Stop Me From Raising My Kids in My Faith?

Religious freedom is a constitutional right; generally, a parent’s religion won’t sway courts when deciding on custody arrangements. However, there may be exceptions if a parent’s religious practices cause direct harm to a child.

If Bob, who is Christian, divorces Karen, who is Jewish, he probably won’t be able to stop Karen from taking the kids to the synagogue on the High Holy Days. Similarly, Karen can’t stop Bob from attending Christmas service with the children while they spend the holidays with him. 

However, courts will also consider the status quo beyond child custody and freedom of religion. For example, if Bob and Karen’s children previously attended Hebrew school, Bob probably wouldn’t be able to pull them out after the divorce if Karen wants them to remain enrolled.

In discussing religion and how it impacts child custody, it’s important to distinguish between physical and legal custody. Parents typically share legal custody equally, regardless of who has the larger share of physical custody.

Thus, even if the children spend more time with one parent, the other parent has an equal say in the children’s religious upbringing. However, if one parent has sole legal custody, they’ll be responsible for all the major decisions in raising the child, including religious education. 

Don’t Weaponize Religion 

Whatever you do, never use religion to undermine your co-parent or alienate your children from them. You should always show your children that you respect their other parent’s religious beliefs.

For example, it isn’t acceptable to engage in emotional blackmail to pressure a child into religious practices (“I won’t consider you my child anymore if you refuse to go to church with me”). Comments like “Your mom is going to hell because she walked out of our faith” are also extremely hurtful and traumatizing for children.

Make a Parenting Plan

Respecting religious differences in child custody cases makes life much easier for both sides. We encourage you to sit down with your co-parent and negotiate a parenting plan that suits everyone, especially for sensitive times like holidays. A professional mediator can help bridge your differences if you can’t work out a plan on your own.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.: Helping You Navigate Custody and Parenting Plans in PA and NJ

Are you unsure about how your child custody arrangement will impact the religious upbringing of your children? Contact our law firm for reliable counsel on protecting your rights in divorce. We can also help you reduce stress and conflict by collaborative mediation for religious disputes in child custody.  

Call us at (866) 349-4907 or book a consultation online.

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Co-parenting and Dangerous Parenting

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Co-parenting after splitting up can be challenging, even when both sides are well-meaning and cooperative. It’s a lot more difficult to navigate co-parenting when there are signs of dangerous parenting on the side of your ex-partner. 

Courts will always prioritize well-being while protecting children from high-conflict co-parenting. Consider the following when creating a safety plan for co-parenting with a risky ex.

What If You’re Concerned for Your Child’s Safety When They’re With Your Ex?

As a rule, family law courts believe it’s in the child’s best interests to spend time with both parents. However, some signs might tell you that your ex is unsafe for your kids.

Certain things your children do or say after spending time with the other parent could make you believe it’s dangerous for them to stay with your ex unsupervised. In this scenario, stay vigilant and consult a custody lawyer who knows how to navigate co-parenting and dangerous parenting.

Red Flags of Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

If your child comes back from their other parent with bruises or other signs of physical harm or tells you that your ex has abused them, you’ll want to take immediate action. However, not all abuse is obvious, especially if your child is too young to describe what happened.

Neglect and lack of supervision are also a form of abuse. For example, maybe your child often returns underfed or dirty from your ex’s house, or you discover that your ex neglects to ensure they take their prescription medications. You may also suspect your co-parent lets your child engage in risky or age-inappropriate activities without supervision. 

Finally, you may feel concerned about your ex-partner’s unaddressed problem of alcohol or substance abuse in the context of co-parenting.

You Must Still Obey Court Orders

While courts focus on prioritizing child safety in co-parenting plans, they expect you to comply with the proper procedures and present solid proof of your co-parent’s risky behavior. 

A seasoned lawyer can help you look into legal options for limiting contact with a dangerous parent. However, you can’t simply withhold parenting time based on suspicion. You could get into serious trouble, and the court may reduce your parenting time.

Document Each Incident of Potentially Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

Did your child tell you their other parent pushed, shoved, or slapped them? Write it down and date it. Did your ex-partner send you a text message or voicemail admitting they let the children stay outside until late unsupervised, despite your insistence to the contrary? Save this message.

Keep a personal record of all your ex-partner’s actions that are abusive or could potentially endanger your kids. Then, consult a family lawyer for reliable advice on keeping your children safe.

Dealing With an Unsafe Co-Parent? Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Do you believe your ex is an unsafe co-parent? The skilled divorce and custody lawyers of Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you handle co-parenting and dangerous parenting, including co-parenting with a narcissist or abusive ex. Call us at (866) 349-4907 or schedule a consultation online.

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Is a Parent’s Home Unsuitable for Visitation? Here Are Some Options

While there is no such thing as a “perfect” home, a child must have a safe, stable, and healthy environment in which to live. If you believe that your former spouse or partner is putting the mental, physical, or emotional safety of your child at risk by not maintaining a home suitable for visitation, keep reading to learn more about your options.

What Really Makes a Home Unfit for Child Visitation?

Whether a home is actually adequate for a child to live in or visit depends on numerous factors. A judge can evaluate if an environment meets the overall criteria, looking specifically for objective signs that the home is suitable, comfortable, and safe for children.

Obvious signs of unsuitability include substance abuse, domestic violence, and physical abuse. In these situations, the other parent can be ruled unfit, and the court can remove the child from the home.

There are also more subtle clues that a parent’s home is genuinely unsuitable for visitation. For example, an unclean, a hoarding situation, or a lack of basic needs (like utilities being deactivated), clearly indicate that the parent is ill-equipped to provide a home appropriate for visitation.

Additional factors may also come into play. For example, if the other parent is neglecting the child or not being responsive to their needs, that could be a sign that the environment is unsuitable. While there can be universal guidelines, many of these judgments may come down to an individual situation based on the age of the child and the current and past rules set by or agreed upon by the parents.

One of the first steps in protecting a child from having to spend time in a home that is unsuitable for visitation is to gather evidence of an unsafe visitation environment. This can involve documenting your concerns and communicating constructively with the other parent.

In keeping with the goal of protecting the best interests of the child, anyone who suspects abuse or neglect can report the situation to Child Protective Services. This initiates an investigation and includes interviews, home observations, and reports, which can be used as evidence in court.

A family law attorney can guide you in pursuing legal actions such as filing a petition to restrict visitation due to unfit home conditions or pursuing child custody modifications due to unsafe conditions. If there is concern that both parents’ homes are unsuitable for visitation, the next step may be to explore alternative solutions such as conducting visitations at a neutral site.

Contact an Experienced Family Law Attorney

Every child deserves to grow up and thrive in a truly safe and healthy environment. At Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., our law firm takes an empathetic and compassionate approach to resolving child custody conflicts, including those centered around safety.

To learn more about how our attorneys can help you, call us at 866-349-4907 for a consultation.

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