Is Your Spouse Talking Badly About You to Your Kids?

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If your spouse is talking badly about you to your kids, it needs to stop. Neither parent should degrade the other when speaking to their kids. Divorces can get very heated, but this emotional poisoning can harm the child. If this is happening, have a direct talk with your spouse and make it clear that this is unacceptable. 

If you’re lucky, maybe your spouse’s off-hand bad joke about you was misquoted by your child. Your spouse may have been talking to someone else, unaware that your kids could hear the remarks. If so, your spouse needs to be more careful.  

If this was an intentional verbal slam or an attempt to harm your relationship with your kids, it needs to stop immediately. Make it clear this won’t be tolerated. If it continues, our office can communicate with your spouse, and if that fails, we can seek a court order prohibiting this from happening and potentially cutting back the time your spouse spends with your kids. 

Are Your Spouse’s Words Harming Your Relationship With Your Child? 

They may have a tough enough time seeing their parents end their relationship. One loved parent telling them their other loved parent is a bad person is not good for anyone. Children need as much peace and certainty in their lives as possible. 

The official term for emotionally manipulating a child against the other parent is “parental alienation.” It, according to Psychology Today, happens when a child refuses to have a relationship with a parent because they’re being manipulated by the other. It can be exaggerating something, telling lies, or saying hateful things.  

Parental alienation can happen during a divorce, but it may take place before one starts or after it’s finalized. It could include emotional blackmail, where one parent threatens to withhold love or attention if the child continues their relationship with the other. A parent may convince a child to make a false claim of abuse or neglect. The parent may make the child promise that these statements and acts are secrets that can’t be revealed. 

What Impact Can Parental Alienation Have? 

As a result, a child may be distraught, confused, angry, sad, and lonely. Children may not understand why they love someone the other parent hates. They may be afraid to speak honestly with the targeted parent and lack evidence that what they’re being told is untrue. In extreme cases, this can impact a child’s relationship with a parent for years. 

Parental alienation can have more than an emotional impact on you and your child. It can affect custody proceedings. If your child is mature enough, a judge may give weight to your child’s opinion on which parent should have what kind of custody. If parental alienation colors that opinion, it can impact your case. If the other parent is interfering with the time you’re allotted with your child, that failure to cooperate can be used against them. 

If you suspect parental alienation is affecting your relationship with your child, please contact us here at Karen A. Ulmer, P.C. We can help clarify what’s going on and stop it. 

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Privacy (or Lack Thereof) and Divorce – When Your Kids Share Your Life

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Starting a new life during or after a divorce is difficult enough. If one of your beloved children is your spouse’s spy, it can make things that much tougher. You need privacy, though depending on your child’s maturity, you may have a hard time keeping it.

Like so many other issues, you need a frank, adult discussion with your spouse on what is shared by whom and when. This must be tempered by your child’s age, personality, and maturity. What you should expect from a seven-year-old is different from what you should expect from a 17-year-old.

Sharing Too Much is Bad

You should both agree that your kids shouldn’t be telling the two of you details about each other’s lives. You also shouldn’t use your child to collect intelligence on each other nor should you believe everything you hear.

Generally, we want our kids to share. We want them to talk about their day and share their feelings, toys, and time. But they must learn that sometimes sharing is not a good idea. They must understand that some things, like information, shouldn’t always be shared. It may be difficult for a child to draw lines between things they can talk about and what they can’t.

It may not be your spouse bribing your child for the latest dirt. Your child may see it as a game. They have something they think has value, so they may believe they’ll get a treat if they tell it to you. The more you tell them you don’t want to hear it, the more they may want to spill the beans.

The two of you should also agree to communicate things impacting your child openly. It’s one thing to date someone new and maintain your privacy, but if they come to your home and meet your kids, you should let your spouse know what’s happening.

Sometimes, Not Sharing Enough is Bad, and Lying is Never Good

You must clarify to your child that there are still important things to talk about, like if someone is abusing, bullying, or harming them. If you or your spouse is losing control and lashing out at your child or neglecting them, that’s not a secret they should hold. Your child needs to understand which secrets to keep and which ones to divulge.

Telling your child you want to keep your privacy so they shouldn’t disclose some things is one thing. Telling them they should lie to cover something up for you is another. You’re setting an awful example for your child that will come back to haunt you. If you teach your kid it’s okay to lie, that’s a lesson they’ll use for years.

In the future, when you catch your child in a lie and it angers you, who’s to blame? Don’t you think your child will throw back in your face the lessons in lying you taught them? Parents in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

If you are considering getting divorced or need legal representation in a divorce matter, it is critical to get help and guidance from a trusted expert in family law. Contact us here at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. to see how we can help you.

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High-End Assets and Your Divorce: Who Gets What?

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Distributing assets as part of a divorce can be highly contentious. Emotions are often connected to objects and property. One party may not be able to bear the thought of not having something, or worse, the spouse getting it. Who gets what is best handled like every other divorce dispute: as calmly, professionally, and reasonably as possible. However, too often, that’s easier said than done. 

If you have highly valuable assets, like investments, art, automobiles, or real estate, the process is more complex because their value, which can be disputed, must be determined. You also need to determine the tax impact on a party obtaining an asset. The higher and more complex your income, the more difficult this may be. 

But the same laws about property division will cover you and your spouse whether you have a million or a thousand dollars in the bank, a vacation home in Hawaii, or a ten-year-old camper trailer.  

What’s at Stake? 

Marital property is subject to division, nonmarital property is not. Generally, marital property is acquired by either party during the marriage. It also covers the increased value of nonmarital property. Clarification of which property is what is spelled out in Pennsylvania statute (35 Pa.C.S.A. §3501(a)). In divorces with high-end assets, the stakes are greater when deciding which category applies to property. 

How Would Assets Be Divided? 

Under state statute (35 Pa.C.S.A. §3502(a)), the general rule is that if one or both parties request it, the judge will: 

“…equitably divide, distribute or assign, in kind or otherwise, the marital property between the parties without regard to marital misconduct in such percentages and in such manner as the court deems just after considering all relevant factors. The court may consider each marital asset or group of assets independently and apply a different percentage to each marital asset or group of assets.” 

The relevant factors include: 

  • How long the marriage lasted 
  • Whether either party was married before 
  • The health, age, “station,” source and amount of income, job skills, employability, liabilities, and needs of the parties
  • Whether one party contributed to the training, education, or improved earning power of the other  
  • Each party’s opportunity for acquiring capital assets and income in the future 
  • The parties’ sources of income, including different insurance policies and other benefits 
  • Each party’s role in the acquisition, preservation, depreciation, or appreciation of the property, including a party’s contribution as a homemaker 
  • The standard of living developed during the marriage 
  • The parties’ economic circumstances when the property is divided  
  • The tax impact of distributing or dividing an asset  
  • The cost of selling, transferring, or liquidating an asset  
  • Whether a party will be the custodian of a dependent minor child 

Some of these factors may be critical for you, while others won’t matter. Each case is unique. 

Negotiation is Usually Better Than Litigation 

Like all divorce issues, if you can’t reach an agreement the issue can be litigated, and the court will decide. Negotiation, and failing that – mediation, gives you some control over how the assets are handled. You give that up when the judge makes the decision. 

Negotiation of asset division is often linked with other issues like paying or receiving alimony. You may give up your claims to some assets in exchange for higher alimony or a greater share of liquid assets. For instance, if you choose to walk away from a valuable asset, perhaps your spouse will now pay the entire amount of the cost of your kids’ private and college educations, instead of splitting the cost. 

Selling an asset may be better than a drawn-out tug of war, especially if it has appreciated over time. Starting your life over may be more difficult when your assets are tied up emotionally with your spouse. Maybe taking the money and running are better ways to begin again. 

If you’re thinking about or plan to divorce your spouse, asset division is one of many things you must consider. Contact us here at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., so we can answer your questions and discuss how we can help you. 

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Plan for Emergencies in Your Post-Divorce Life

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Divorce was a massive change in your personal life, and the rest of the world is going through some huge changes too. Sometimes they’re a slow burn in the background of today’s news. Other times you need to take action to cope with problems that shake up your life. 

The Next Pandemic 

Few of us were prepared for the COVID-19 pandemic and the problems it posed to parents. Children couldn’t attend school. Jobs were lost or performed at home. Debates over vaccines raged. COVID-19 is still around and could potentially mutate into something far more dangerous. Other viruses could become the next pandemic. 

Add this to the list of crises you and your fellow parent must prepare for:  

  • If kids can’t go to school, where will they be? Will they split time between the two of you? What’s the best arrangement if one or both of you work at home?  
  • Have the two of you decided whether your children should be vaccinated against current threats or ones that may develop in the future? How will future medical decisions be made if the two of you can’t agree? 

We all learned how to get by during the COVID-19 lockdown. We should be better prepared if one happens again. 

Economic Uncertainty 

The inflation rate is high, reducing our buying power, but overall, the economy is doing well. There’s no sign inflation will back down any time soon, but the economy will inevitably slow and possibly go into recession. The loss of millions of jobs could bring down inflation, though that’s a method no one wants. 

It’s just a matter of time before the economy weakens and the two of you should discuss how you’ll handle it. What happens if one or both of you are unemployed? How would that impact spousal and child support? 

Despite all these unknowns, there are things you can count on:  

  • Paying child support is mandated by law, though there’s room for a judge to make adjustments in individual cases. If you pay it, losing your job is a reason to ask a judge to lower your payments, but that may not be enough. The judge may not reduce them as much as you’d like or decide you should be able to find another job and keep up the payments 
  • Spousal support obligations in a divorce order continue until a judge agrees to amend them. Both parties could agree these payments can be cut during the payor’s unemployment. Without an agreement, it would be up to a judge to decide if the ex-spouse’s lost job justifies lower payments  

You don’t know what you, your ex, or your kids may need in the future. Though it may be difficult, having at least a working relationship with your former spouse can help you deal with future emergencies. 

Get the Help You Need From a Family Law Attorney You Can Trust 

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., if you have questions or need representation in a divorce, child support, or child custody matter. Call our office at (215) 608-1867 to schedule a consultation. We can speak over the phone, via teleconference, or meet in our Doylestown or Langhorne office. 

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Protect Yourself Against Stalking

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A spouse may feel angry and betrayed when you want a divorce. If they can’t handle the situation, they may exact revenge, stalk you, and possibly become violent. Thanks to the internet and smartphones, it’s never been easier to stalk someone. 

What is Stalking? 

Stalking is using unwanted, harassing, or threatening tactics that cause fear or safety concerns in the victim, according to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). These tactics may include: 

  • Following and watching you 
  • Approaching you or showing up where you are, whether that’s in a public place, your home, or workplace 
  • Using global positioning system (GPS) technology to track you 
  • Going into a private place while you’re elsewhere and leaving you items or objects to scare or threaten you 
  • Using technology to spy on you 
  • Making unwanted phone calls, text messages, emails, social media posts, or photo messages 
  • Sending you unwanted cards, gifts, letters, or flowers 

What your spouse might do to stalk you is only limited to their twisted imagination. 

What Can I Do to Prevent Being Stalked? 

Some steps can make stalking more difficult: 

  • Stay off of social media. The more information about your life you put on social media, the easier it is for your spouse to find you 
  • Change your phone number and email address to prevent unwanted phone calls, texts, and emails 
  • If your spouse had access to your smartphone, PC, or laptop, they might have uploaded spyware or stalkerware. It allows them to know everything you use it for and track you. You can try to find it on your device and remove it, but the most effective way to prevent this from affecting you is to get another one 
  • Your spouse may have put an Apple AirTag on your vehicle. This is an electronic device that can allow them to see where it is in real-time. This article explains more about what this is, how it works, and ways to try to prevent this from happening 
  • Lock your smartphone by using a code, a fingerprint, or face recognition technology
  • Turn off the location setting (until you need it to get somewhere), and don’t share your location 
  • Change your routine, so your movements are less predictable 
  • Tell your employer what’s going on in case your spouse shows up at your workplace or tries to call you there  
  • If you are threatened in any way or physically struck, call the police and press charges 
  • If you qualify, get a protection from abuse order. It shows your spouse you’re serious about ending the stalking. If it continues, call the police. If your spouse is arrested and convicted, they may face fines and jail time 

Sadly, you need to take these actions and change your life, but when dealing with a stalker, you need to protect yourself as best you can. Hopefully, your spouse will stop when they see the negative consequences of their actions. 

Get the Help You Need From an Attorney You Trust 

We’ve handled many divorces where the relationship totally broke down, and one spouse became hostile toward the other. This can be a difficult and stressful time, but we’re here to help you get through this and enable you to start a new life. Contact Karen A. Ulmer, P.C. for additional guidance on family law, divorce, protection from abuse orders, and all things divorce. 

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Why You Need an Attorney for Your Divorce

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There are many moving pieces to divorce in Bucks and Montgomery Counties here in PA, and if they’re not addressed correctly and coherently you can end up caught in a legal, financial, and emotional mess. The more complex your finances and wealth, and if you have children, the more you need a lawyer to represent your interests in a divorce. It’s a legal proceeding that will affect you and your children for the rest of your lives. 

Not every legal matter requires legal representation, but you should at least consult with an attorney before you move forward. If you and your spouse have low incomes and have little or no property, Legal Aid of Southeastern Pennsylvania may help you through the process. Another option, if the two of you are on good terms, may be a collaborative divorce in which you work with (and need only pay) one attorney to finalize the divorce. 

You Don’t Want to Learn About Divorce While Working on Your Own Case 

If this doesn’t describe you and your family, an attorney should represent you in a divorce. We will protect your rights, ensure you take full advantage of them, and get the best outcome possible. Given your financial well-being, your relationship with your children, and your future are at stake, paying for an attorney is a worthwhile investment. 

Chances are excellent that unless you are a divorce attorney, you lack the knowledge, experience, and skills to make the best of your divorce and put yourself in a good position to start your new life.  

You hire specialists for other areas of your life without much thought. You probably don’t fix your car or make major repairs on your home. You may pay someone else to prepare your taxes. You’re smart enough to understand that there are complex things you don’t understand well enough to handle yourself, so it’s better to hire someone to tackle them for you. 

Where Lack of Legal Representation Can Cause You Severe Problems 

Here are some of the issues that could cause serious harm if you represent yourself and make mistakes: 

  • Dividing assets and debts: A critical part of the divorce process is identifying which assets and debts are marital and subject to division, then dividing them equitably. You may have property you owned before your marriage or inherited during it that shouldn’t be shared with your spouse. Your spouse may also be responsible for debts you are not obligated to help repay. Going it alone could result in handing over your assets and putting yourself on the hook for debts that aren’t yours. 
  • Spousal support and alimony: You or your spouse may or may not be entitled to alimony or spousal support. If you are entitled to it but don’t assert your rights, you could miss a substantial amount of money. If your spouse wants support without a legal right to it or seeks more than they legally deserve, you may unnecessarily transfer a big chunk of your income to your ex in the future. 
  • Child custody and support: Your spouse may not be fit to make crucial decisions for your child, but without legal representation, they may be awarded custody. Your spouse may also demand more child support than what’s justified under the law. 

This situation worsens if your spouse has an attorney, but you don’t. This is not an even playing field because you are at a severe disadvantage. If you can’t agree to a settlement, will you represent yourself at a trial? 

Speak to a Divorce Attorney You Can Trust 

If you have any questions about divorce or think it may be in your future, don’t make any decisions until you talk to us. Contact Karen A. Ulmer, P.C., to schedule a consultation so we can discuss your situation, how the law may apply, and how we can help. 

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How To Get a Cheap Divorce in Pennsylvania

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It’s true; there are ways to get a cheap divorce in Pennsylvania. Various companies provide legitimate, rapid, and seemingly affordable solutions to prepare you for the complex legal filing process.

If you opt-in for a simple, uncontested, online divorce, there are few meetings required, and you must complete the paperwork on your computer or smartphone.

However, you must remember that when your divorce is filed and finalized, nothing usually can change, and you are stuck with the terms in the document. Divorce is a complex matter involving your housing, assets, alimony, child support, visitation, and much more.

The Pennsylvania courts refer to an uncontested divorce as a  “no-fault divorce,” consensual no-fault divorce, or mutual consent divorce. If you attempt this legal process yourself, even a mutual consent divorce is complex and involves a lot of legal paperwork you are unfamiliar with.

In a mutual consent divorce, you and your spouse must agree to all the terms of your divorce. You must sign legal documents stating that you agree, and if at any point you or your spouse don’t agree on even a minor issue, you will need to start the process (and paperwork) all over again.

Five common steps are mandatory for filing an uncontested divorce in Pennsylvania, they are:

  • The divorce application – Here, you create and file the complaint for your divorce.
  • Your spouse must be legally served the divorce papers, and proof of service must be obtained.
  • You must create consents and other vital documents.
  • If you and your spouse are not in agreement on any matter, regardless of how small, and still wish to pursue an uncontested divorce, you will usually seek mediation.
  • Final decree – After all the paperwork is served, agreed on, filed, and more, the court will finalize your divorce with official divorce order documentation.

This process may seem to save you money, but it will take a lot of your time and cause you and your family stress, emotional upheaval, and money. If you make an error, you start over. Also, if you miss anything, it could cost more to fix the issue than if your divorce were done by a professional in the first place.

Is It Legally “Risky” To Try To Get a Cheap Divorce?

The simple and rational answer is, yes, it is.

Recently, many people have chosen to try “do-it-yourself divorce kits to legally end their marriages. These quick and seemingly “cheap” kits may appear attractive, especially since they promise an “easy” out of your marriage.

However, many who have tried these kits find that they are far more trouble than they are worth. After all the costs and fees, they are far from significantly cheaper than hiring an experienced divorce lawyer.

The finality, complexity, and stress of a divorce kit should make you consider consulting with a Pennsylvania family law team. They will know the right questions to ask, and you can move on confidently.

If I Do the Work Myself, Am I Giving My Spouse an Advantage?

In most Pennsylvania divorces, at least one of the spouses has their family lawyer advising them. If you don’t have a divorce lawyer, and your spouse does, you will undoubtedly be at a legal disadvantage. Your spouse’s lawyer will use your ignorance of the rules and regulations of divorce law to your spouse’s advantage every chance that arises.

You can assume that your spouse’s attorney has a much better understanding of court procedures than someone without legal training could not be expected to possess. For example, your spouse’s lawyer could retrieve evidence excluded from court, which may lead you, without a divorce lawyer, to receive a diminished share of your marital estate.

You could surmise that not having an experienced Pennsylvania divorce lawyer could cost you much more than you’ve saved by filing yourself!

Another Important Reason for Having Your Own Divorce Lawyer

One of the most important reasons for not attempting “do-it-yourself divorces” is that the paperwork filed (and provided online) usually fails to address Pennsylvania’s unique divorce procedures. This is relatively easy to understand, as these “divorce kits” are not usually compiled by a lawyer and very rarely by a Pennsylvania lawyer.

All divorce rules and regulations differ from state to state, and this “one size fits all” divorce paperwork commonly never adequately addresses family law in Pennsylvania.

Even more valid in Pennsylvania is that the laws and procedures are different in each of the state’s 67 counties! You must remember that if the proper state and local county rules and guidelines for getting a divorce are not followed, your divorce will not be granted.

The county clerk’s office staff will inform you that your filing is incorrect but cannot instruct you on how to fix the problems. So, you’re on your own to figure out what is wrong and how to correct it!

When your divorce lawyer explains their fees, it is a “total” fee, and all the courts’ fees, etc., are included in the amount. Your local divorce lawyer will know all the pertinent information to obtain your divorce on your terms.

I Am Getting a Divorce in Pennsylvania; How Should I Proceed?

First, consult your family law divorce lawyer, and obtain the peace of mind that their expertise and experience will provide.

There are many ways to save time and money on your divorce in Pennsylvania than relying on a risky, “one size fits all” divorce package. Consult with a divorce lawyer with a proven history who will offer you cost-effective and efficient divorce options. By doing so, you can finalize your divorce within your budget, without the financial and emotional stress of attempting this challenging legal process yourself. 

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How Do I Prove My Husband Is Lying During Our Divorce? 

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If you suspect your husband is lying during your divorce settlement, it is critical to disprove his statements, since your husband’s lies could significantly decrease your settlement, affect child custody, or damage your reputation. An experienced divorce attorney will be able to advise you on all legal means available to prove his deception.

Lying under oath, whether in court or in signed affidavits, is a serious offense and can carry civil and criminal penalties. A judge has discretion regarding how to punish lying. For example, depending on the severity of the perjury, he or she could require your lying husband to pay your legal fees, increase your settlement, award you sole custody, or apply criminal charges.

It is critical that you yourself do not lie. You must maintain integrity so there is a clear choice for the judge when your husband’s credibility is damaged by the exposure of his lies. Remember to always take the high road. Remain calm during meetings and court proceedings as well as on social media or email. It is best not to comment at all about your spouse publicly, especially online. 

Lying about finances

Unfortunately, lying about one’s finances is fairly common in divorce proceedings, but it can also be somewhat easy to prove with the right documentation. The difficulty is recognizing the different ways money can be hidden. Review our blog post, What if Your Ex Hid Money During the Divorce, for the many subtle ways money can be hidden. You can provide evidence that your husband is hiding assets in many different ways:

  • Bank, investment, and retirement account statements
  • Income tax returns
  • Household bills
  • Credit card statements 

It is possible your husband has income streams of which you are unaware. Your attorney may recommend you enlist the service of a financial auditor to dig deeply into your husband’s financial matters. 

Lying about you or your relationship

Character assassination is taken seriously by the courts, and your lawyer will know what legal recourse can be taken to stop the intentional damage to your reputation. Although it is uncommon for a husband to accuse a wife of physical abuse, emotional abuse could be alleged. In addition, your husband could lie about having another relationship or might accuse you of infidelity. Whatever the lies, take these steps to disprove them: 

  • Keep copies of social media posts and emails that support your position.
  • Maintain a log of conversations, situations, or events, including dates and times, describing the events and keeping track of quotes to the best of your ability. Indicate if it is a direct quote or a paraphrase.
  • Collect witnesses to the events in question who will sign affidavits supporting your position.
  • Find character witnesses who can speak for your character as well as your husband’s. 

You may need to secure the help of a private investigator to follow your spouse and collect more information.                                                                                                                                                             

Lying about children

As with lies about you, lies about the children or the husband’s involvement in child-rearing are best proven with logs, pictures, social media posts, and witnesses who can give evidence to the level of involvement he had with the children, his behavior toward them, and yours. You may also be able to provide documentation from the schools regarding who attended parent-teacher meetings, who picked the children up or dropped them off, and whose signature was on checks. See our blog post, Obtaining Sole Custody in PA, for additional information. 

One final note, if you want to try to “catch” your spouse lying it is critical to talk with our office immediately, especially if you believe you can record them (over the phone or in person) in the lie. Pennsylvania law has serious wiretapping laws that require consent if either the recorder or any other parties are in the state when the recording is occurring. If you record your ex, for any reason, you could face very steep penalties without that consent.  

Whatever the type of lie, your experienced divorce attorney can subpoena records, request gag orders, and schedule depositions for your husband or his witnesses under oath, in order to uncover any inconsistencies or deceptions in your husband’s statements. At Karen A. Ulmer, P.C., we know how to protect our clients and hold lying spouses accountable. Contact us today to see how we can help you.

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Healthcare for Children after a Pennsylvania Divorce

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When couples with children divorce, many child custody issues need to be addressed, including who will pay for the children’s health insurance and out-of-pocket medical costs. If parents cannot come to an agreement out of court, the judge will decide for them. In Pennsylvania, certain general standards are followed, which may be adjusted to the family’s particular circumstances.

Who provides health insurance coverage?

The judge will look at factors such as whether one or both parents have access to employer-sponsored health insurance, the relative benefits, costs of each, and which parent is currently providing insurance. Generally, but not always, the parent paying child support and/or having the higher income will be responsible for providing health insurance coverage. In some circumstances, the cost of providing health insurance will be split between the parents, in the amount proportionate to their incomes.

According to PA law, if neither parent is able to provide medical insurance, either because there is no employer-sponsored plan or because the plan exceeds “reasonable cost,” defined as 5% of net monthly income, the court may order that the child be covered under a PA government-sponsored plan.

Within 30 days of the court order, the parent providing coverage must submit written proof to the other parent that insurance has been obtained, including insurance cards and other necessary materials.

Who pays for copays and other out-of-pocket expenses?

Copays and other medical expenses in excess of $250.00 are allocated proportionately to the parents’ income. Medical expenses include surgical, dental, optical, and orthodontics, but not cosmetic, chiropractic, or psychiatric care unless so ordered by the court.

Since doctors and hospitals do not automatically allocate their bills to each parent, contact their billing offices and establish a contract defining what percentage of each bill should be charged to each parent. Both parents should sign the contract. This will avoid having the custodial parent receive the bill and be held responsible for paying it in full, leading to either a struggle to get reimbursement from the other parent or being hounded by bill collectors.

When does the obligation to provide healthcare insurance end?

Unless otherwise stipulated in an agreement or court order, a parent’s responsibility to provide health insurance ends when the child turns 18 or graduates from high school, whichever is later.

Whenever possible, divorcing couples should work to develop an out-of-court agreement, with the help of an experienced divorce lawyer, so that no stone is left unturned and no loophole is missed. By doing so, both parents maintain control over the situation and avoid turning over to a judge the final decisions that will so closely affect their own futures and the futures of their children. Contact us here at Karen A. Ulmer, P.C. to see how we can help you.

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Can I Force My Ex to Get a Drug Test under Pennsylvania Law?

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When children are involved in a divorce in Pennsylvania, one of the most important factors to be weighed in any judgment is the best interest of the child. If your ex has full or partial custody or visitation rights of any kind and you have serious concerns about your children’s welfare due to substance abuse, it is possible to require a drug test.

It’s extremely important to have a family law attorney involved in this process. You need to be able to produce evidence or very strong reasons for your belief, not just “a feeling.” Rules of evidence must be closely adhered to in order to maximize the likelihood of your success and avoid poorly collected evidence being thrown out as inadmissible in court – or worse, illegally obtained.

The first step may be to collect some initial evidence, under the guidance of your lawyer, to demonstrate you have a solid case. The next is to have your attorney file a motion asking the court to order the drug test. There are a variety of tests from which to choose based on your particular case and the judge’s preference: urine, blood, or hair analysis will give the court the information it needs.

Before the judge can rule, there will be a hearing, at which time your attorney will present your arguments and supporting evidence. Your ex-spouse will also likely be present or have a lawyer present to argue in his or her defense.

If the judge orders drug testing, the results will determine what happens next. If the parent tested fails the test, the particular substance and the level of use would be factored in deciding what custody modifications need to be made. Someone who tests positive for occasional marijuana use will likely not be judged as harshly as someone with recent, frequent heroin abuse. The judge may also order a second drug test after 60 or 90 days to determine if the parent is able to stop abusing the substance.

Child custody or visitation may be altered based on the information from the drug test, but the parent’s access to the child may not be completely blocked unless results demonstrate a very serious and consistent use of dangerous substances. The child’s physical and emotional safety are always weighed alongside the importance of having a positive relationship with both parents. This is a very difficult balance to keep, and mistakes can be made, but the intentions are good. Children grow best when they have a healthy relationship with both parents.

If you suspect substance abuse by your ex and want a custody modification in order to protect your children, please contact us here at Karen A. Ulmer, P.C. It is critical to bring the strongest case forward the first time because if you fail the first time, a second motion is less likely to be accepted unless the situation has changed or stronger evidence has come forth. Please contact us to see how we can help you present the strongest case possible.

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