Can Any Part of a Divorce Decree Be Reversed?

A divorce decree is a court order that is final and legally binding on both parties. Besides declaring the marriage legally over, it decides division of property, custody, and support.

Reversing any part of the decision requires an appeal to a higher court here in Bucks and Montgomery Counties. In the case of both parties reconciling and wanting to reverse their divorce entirely, several states will allow reversal, if within a certain timeframe; but for most states, even when the request is mutual, the divorce decree cannot be reversed.

Appealing aspects of the ruling

You can appeal certain decisions of the court, such as support and alimony, child custody, and division of property. However, it cannot be on the basis that you think the judgment is “unfair.” There must be compelling legal reasons.

Choose a lawyer who is experienced in appealing family law cases. Not all lawyers have this experience. Sit down with your lawyer and discuss your options. Legal errors or evidentiary errors are the most successful bases when appealing a ruling. Your lawyer should comb the decision for any errors that might have occurred and explain to you the errors and the standard of review that applies.

Factual errors have to be significant and very well documented to bring about a successful appeal. Division of property is rarely overturned unless clear evidence of fraud or hiding of assets is uncovered.

Modification of the ruling

Life situations change. Sometimes they change so much that the conditions of the divorce should be adjusted, at which point you would file a “motion to modify,” generally in the same court where the original decree was handed down.

Modification of child support:  Major changes in the financial position of the parent or the needs of the child could justify a modification. Examples include the parent getting laid off or the child incurring extensive medical bills.

Modification of spousal support: Spousal support can be modified with regard to the amount or duration of support when there have been significant changes in circumstances for either former spouse. One cannot demand more money simply because the paying spouse has suddenly hit the lottery.  In rare cases an alimony agreement is non-modifiable.

Modification of child custody: A modification can be ordered if the judge determines it is in the best interests of the child. Situations might include the custodial parent’s arrest, strong concerns about neglect or abuse, or a deterioration of living conditions.

Appeals and motions to modify can be legally complicated and emotionally draining. We are experienced in these areas and can guide you through them. Contact us today so we can discuss how we can help you.


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Divorcing a Narcissist: What to Expect, What to Do

Not every jerk is a narcissist. A true narcissist has low empathy, assumes superiority, craves power and control, and wants to win at all costs. Men outnumber women 2:1 in true narcissism, so for ease of reading, I will assume the husband is the narcissist. But this advice is equally important for a husband dealing with a narcissistic wife.

What to expect in your divorce

In short, expect it to be long, hard, and ugly. This probably won’t surprise you, considering what you lived with.

Your narcissist will try to drag it out as long as possible, filing motions, not showing up, missing deadlines. He will refuse to settle and refuse to negotiate. He wants to be in control, wants to win, and wants to see you lose. It doesn’t matter how much it costs him, and if it costs you, too, that’s a win for him and a loss for you.

He will paint you black, even if he has to lie about it. He has little or no concept of the emotional harm he’s doing, even to his children. He thinks he’s right, thinks he’s superior, and probably thinks he’s the victim and everyone should feel sorry for him. And narcissists can be charming (which is probably how he fooled you in the first place) and will, at least at first, probably fool the judge.

If there are children involved, this behavior will sadly overflow into his relationship with them. He will not share his schedule, will make commitments for them without telling you that will cause you inconvenience or embarrassment, and will probably talk badly about you to them and their friends.

What you can do to survive and “win”

First, you need to stay emotionally healthy through this. Seek the emotional support you need. You may already be experiencing the effects of living with such a spouse for so long. You will probably benefit from a therapist experienced in dealing with these kinds of situations. Your children might also need someone to talk to. Strengthen your circle of friends and family who see your spouse clearly and support you emotionally.

Second, find a good lawyer who clearly understands these situations and how to counter the tactics of a narcissist. Any old lawyer won’t do. You need experienced help.

Record everything! Your lawyer will advise you as to the kinds of records you need to carefully keep, but start chronicling your conversations and interactions with your spouse as well as your day-to-day activities. You will need them when he makes wild accusations against you.

Stay calm and take the high road. Though you’re likely to fall into his trap once or twice and lose your cool, each time you explode in anger or tears, you play into the scenario he’s painted of you. Your pain won’t be able to be hidden, and that’s good and appropriate. But remain honest and calm in your court dealings.  Your narcissistic spouse is not rational and will not listen to rational arguments, so speak only to your lawyer or the judge about the false accusations.

This also applies to your interactions with your children. You may have to correct any false things your spouse or ex-spouse says about you, but avoid accusations or negative talk about their other parent. It may take time, but eventually they will see through the lies.

Even if your spouse is not a full-blown narcissist, some of these problems may arise and the advice remains. Take the high road, develop emotional strength, record everything, and get a good lawyer.

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Family Adoptions

Adoptions among certain family members are streamlined and circumvent some of the requirements for a non-kinship adoption. For example, a standard adoption will require a home study to be completed by the local Children & Youth services agency. This process is expensive and takes a number of months. This requirement is waived in the event of an adoption of a stepchild, grandchild, brother, sister, niece or nephew by blood, marriage, or prior adoption. Now that Pennsylvania recognizes same-sex marriages, same-sex partners can also benefit from this provision.

In a family adoption background checks must still be completed as it relates to the adopting parent(s). Presently, there are three background checks required: (1) Child Abuse History Clearance; (2) PA State Police Criminal Record Check; and (3) FBI Criminal Background Check through the Department of Welfare. If the natural parents are consenting to the adoption, their consents can be attached to the Petition for Adoption. This should be at least thirty (30) days after the consents are signed since there is a thirty (30) day revocation period. Alternatively, if lacking written consents, grounds for involuntary termination can be addressed with the petition. Following successful completion of all the pre-requisites and filing of the Petition for Adoption, the final step is the adoption hearing. Generally, the hearing is just a matter of ceremony and a happy occasion for the adopting parents. Other family and friends are usually welcomed to attend as well and celebrate with the new parent(s).

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Termination of Parental Rights

Termination of parental rights means the natural parent of a child forever loses or forfeits any rights as a parent. This would include the loss of any standing for future custody actions. It also means they are not financially responsible for child support any longer. Termination of parental rights can generally only occur in conjunction with an adoption matter. The petition for termination of parental rights and a petition for adoption would be filed simultaneously.

Termination of parental rights can be voluntary or involuntary. A voluntary termination is when a biological parent signs a consent to an adoption and voluntarily relinquish their rights. There is a thirty (30) day period after the consent is signed wherein the natural parent can change their mind and revoke their consent.

Parental rights can also be involuntarily terminated. Pursuant to 23 Pa.C.S. § 2511, there are nine (9) grounds for involuntary termination of parental rights. Many petitions for involuntary termination are on the first ground listed: (1) The parent by conduct continuing for a period of at least six months immediately preceding the filing of the petition either has evidenced a settled purpose of relinquishing parental claim to a child or has refused or failed to perform parental duties. Similar to the first ground, the second ground calls for termination based on “[t]he repeated and continued incapacity, abuse, neglect or refusal of the parent has caused the child to be without essential parental care, control or subsistence necessary for his physical or mental well‑being and the conditions and causes of the incapacity, abuse, neglect or refusal cannot or will not be remedied by the parent.” If Children and Youth have removed a child from the home, they may pursue involuntary termination after six months if the issues that led to the child being removed from the home have not changed and it is unlikely the conditions would improve within a reasonable time frame. A parent’s rights can also be involuntarily terminated based on certain criminal convictions including criminal homicide, aggravated assault, a comparable crime in a different jurisdiction, or any attempt/conspiracy to commit the above.

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Starting a Divorce

The first step in pursuing a divorce is to have a Complaint filed with your local court. The Complaint would include the grounds under which you are seeking divorce as well as any other types of relief requested. For example, your complaint may also include counts for equitable distribution if there is marital property, custody if there are minor children involved, and support for minor children or between spouses. There is a filing fee due at the time the complaint is filed. The amount of the filing fee varies by county. Once a divorce complaint the court will assign a case number. This case number is to be used on all future filings regarding the case.

After filing a complaint, the next step is service. Pennsylvania Rule of Civil Procedure 1930.4 discusses acceptable methods of service for all domestic relations matters. The opposing party also has the option to sign an Acceptance of Service form. This is a viable option if the divorce is amicable. The complaint can be served by personal service. If the complaint is being served personally, the person effectuating service should complete an affidavit of service indicating when and where the opposing party was served. Personal service can be carried out by any adult that is not a party to the action. The Sheriff can be contacted to effectuate personal service for a fee. There are also numerous private companies that will effectuate service for a fee. Finally, a complaint may be served via mail; specifically, certified mail, return receipt requested, restricted delivery. Service in a divorce matter must be accomplished within 30 days of when the complaint was filed where the Defendant is within the Commonwealth.

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Social Security Benefits

Social Security retirement benefits are payable based on an individual’s prior earning’s history. A party in divorce may be entitled to collect social security benefits based on the earnings history of their spouse instead of their own. For this to be an option, your spouse must already be at least 62 years old and receiving their social security benefits. Additionally, you must have been married to your spouse for at least ten years and be at least 62 years old. There is an exception to the age requirement if your spouse is deceased in which case you can start collecting at 60 years old or 50 years old if you are disabled. You cannot be remarried at the time you are electing to receive a spouse or ex-spouse’s benefits however, remarriage is permissible if it occurs after age 60 or age 50 if disabled.

Finally, your social security benefits based on your earnings history must be less than your spouse’s benefits. You can only elect to receive one social security benefit and should opt for whichever is higher. By electing to receive benefits under a spouse’s earnings history you do not diminish the benefit your spouse is entitled to receive themselves. You spouse will continue to receive the full amount of his or her benefit. You are entitled to receive 50% of the benefit your spouse is receiving. If, however, your spouse pre-deceases you, you are then entitled to receive 100% of your spouse’s benefits. Further, any children under 18 at the time of your spouse’s death would be entitled to certain benefits as well.

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How to Help Your Divorce Lawyer Help You

Our goal is to help your divorce proceed with the least amount of stress and difficulty. We know our business, but regarding your particular case, we only know what you tell us. There are things you can do to help everything run smoothly.

So, how can you make your divorce easy?  

First: We need to know your goals as well as certain personal information. What are you hoping to gain from the divorce? Full custody? Child support? Spousal Support? The business? Certain property items? A clear wishlist at the beginning will help us strategize.

Do you or your spouse have any medical issues, either mental or physical? Are you both U.S. citizens, or could divorce affect legal status in the country? Do you have any pre- or post-nuptial agreements or any lawsuits pending? These details and issues might affect settlement.

Second: Timeliness is crucial. Please be sure to provide us with the necessary documents or answers to questions we may ask as quickly as possible so that we can keep your case moving forward.  Sometimes our schedule will be set to keep your process moving forward while other times the courts have a set calendar we must follow.

Third: Keep in touch. There will be periods of lull in the proceedings; we will reach out to you to keep you informed or request further information, but check in regularly if you would like a real-time update.

Fourth: Provide documentation. We will provide a list of documents that we need from you, but if you come to your first appointment equipped with some documentation, things may go much more smoothly. Here is a summary of the kinds of items we will need:

 

  • Statements from banks and other financial institutions
  • Tax returns and supporting documents
  • Bills, loans, mortgages
  • Insurance policies
  • Wills or living wills
  • Titles on property owned
  • Financial information about any businesses owned
  • List of property owned singly or jointly, including jewelry, furniture, and other items, with listed value
  • Any correspondence you think is pertinent: letters, emails, texts, or social media posts

In summary, help us help you by providing documents or answers that we need, meeting deadlines, and keeping in touch.

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5 Reasons to Avoid Going to Divorce Court

The familiar phrase “ugly divorce” usually refers to those that have gone to divorce court because they could not or would not agree on specific items (or anything!). There are some situations in which divorce court is the only option, but it should be avoided if possible. Afterall, a judge will be making decisions about your life, financial situation and how you spend time with your children.  Court should be a last resort, because of the serious negative aspects of this particular means of settling marital dissolution.

  1. Divorce Court creates a very combative atmosphere. Before going to court, lawyers may try to work together to find an equitable settlement, but in court, their job is to “win” for their clients. Tactics may be more aggressive because the lawyers need to place a very strong argument before the judge, and may include the “airing of dirty laundry.” The public disclosure of private family matters is something you might prefer to keep private.
  2. Divorce Court creates intense stress and hurt feelings, further damaging the relationship of the spouses, which inevitably hurts any children involved. All this pain decreases the future possibility of cooperation between the spouses, which also hurts children.
  3. Divorce Court can be long and drawn out. The judge is a very busy person and your court dates need to be fit into his or her schedule. Long periods of lull followed by intense and stressful court proceedings will be the norm.
  4. Divorce Court is expensive. Besides court fees, going to court takes more time and more work for the attorney than other methods.
  5. Divorce Court is risky! You may think you will get “justice” but unfortunately, that may be less likely in court than in one of the alternative methods. This is because judges do not always agree with your version of fair.  Certainly they try to be fair and impartial but, they don’t know you, your spouse, or your children. They don’t have time to hear every stitch of evidence. You don’t get an opportunity to talk to the judge directly; you’re dependent upon your lawyer. Then this judge, who doesn’t know you, hasn’t talked to you, hasn’t walked with you through this process, only knows what the lawyers have said about you and what evidence has been presented about you, will make a binding decision on everything that matters the most to you: your children, your assets, your very future. This is incredible power in the hands of one person.

Generally, unless one spouse is particularly combative, has a history of abusive behavior or substance abuse, or is suspected of hiding significant assets, divorce court is not the best option and should be avoided.

Mediation or collaborative divorce processes are methods that are less stressful and often less expensive. A litigated divorce, which essentially means a lawsuit, is often necessary, since in 80% of cases only one party desires the divorce. Nonetheless, litigated divorces don’t need to go to court, and every effort should be made to prevent that step.

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Child Custody Expenses in High Income Cases

The definition of “high income” and the calculation of support varies from state to state. In Pennsylvania, Rule 1910.16-3.1. of the Pennsylvania Code defines high income as the combined net income of both parents in excess of $30,000 per month. The monthly child support formula, which includes a base figure plus a percentage of income, is calculated depending on the number of minor children to be supported. This figure is then divided between the parents according to their income and the number of overnights a child spends in each home.  

A judge has the option to adjust this figure as necessary, based on a number of factors. For instance, if a child has special needs or extraordinary medical bills, the judge will make sure the child’s needs are sufficiently covered, to the extent that the parents are able. Often, children from high-income families attend private school and/or have expensive extra-curricular activities. The judge may further adjust support to maintain the standard of living to which the child is accustomed.

Additionally, if there is a great discrepancy in the income of the parents, the judge will consider the living standards of the lower-income parent. The judge may adjust support in order to maintain a comfortable standard of living for children when staying with either parent. When making these decisions, the best interest of the children is always the goal.

Child support ends when the child turns 18 or graduates from high school, whichever comes later. The paying parent, however, should not depend on the court system to terminate the standing order. If the parent wants to end support, he or she should file a motion to modify child support shortly before the legal ending date, to allow time for the process to take place.

Given that mandatory child support ends at the end of high school (or at 18, whichever is later), it follows that contributing to the cost of college is not required. If this is an important goal, it’s best to come to an agreement, in writing, before child support is calculated by the courts. Once it is in writing, this agreement becomes binding, and the supporting parent is obligated to maintain the support as written. As with any contract, not paying the tuition would be a breach of contract and the spouse can be taken to court, where the judge can order payment.

As with all Pennsylvania child support issues, it is always a good idea for parents to consult an attorney.  We can determine if the guidelines have been followed and if an agreement is fair. Furthermore, we can make sure that all of your paperwork is filed correctly with the court.  

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Child’s Opinion in Custody

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Any custody award in Pennsylvania is to be based on the best interests of the child. Section 5328 of the Domestic Relations statue lays out 15 factors to be considered when awarding custody in addition to any relevant factor. One of enumerated factors is “the well-reasoned preference of the child, based on the child’s maturity and judgment.” Accordingly, there is no magic age at which a child is permitted to give their opinion on custody. Instead, the court weighs the child’s opinion and generally gives it more weight as the child is older. Children mature at different paces and perhaps the weight to be given to a 10 year old’s opinion could be greater than a 13 year old’s opinion. I think it is safe to assume teenagers are able to give a reasoned preference, will be permitted to do so, and that opinion would carry some weight.

Section 5323 provides that the court must detail the reasons for its decision either on the record in open court or in a written opinion. 23 Pa. C.S. 5323 (d). Therefore, the court must go through each factor that it considered and explain why it decided as it did. This means that the child’s preference cannot be the sole factor considered. The Superior Court has been strict in upholding the requirement for the court to go through all factors in a decision. In J.R.M. v. J.E.A., the court awarded primary custody to the mother and father appealed on the basis that the trial court did not consider the 16 factors listed in Section 5328. 2011 PA Super. 263 (2011). The Superior Court granted the appeal, agreeing that the trial court did not properly consider the factors listed in the statute. Accordingly, all parties in a custody action should be prepared to address all relevant factors in their case and not just rely on one.

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