Child custody is one of divorce’s greatest challenges. When all is said and done and the assets are distributed and the divorce is final, there are still the children of divorce that forever tie you to the other parent. Whether your children are little or grown, there will be times when you will encounter the other parent whom you are no longer married to but have children and possibly grandchildren in common with after the divorce. This can be frequent during child custody. Oftentimes, when children are little, there remains hurt feelings, resentment, possibly jealously as the other parent moves on seemingly unscathed. It may be very difficult during these times to maintain the level of civility in child custody that is critical to raise happy, successful children of divorced parents. The last thing you may want to do is have to continue to parent with this other person that you no longer love, that you resent or that continues to undermine everything that you think is best. It takes acceptance of the fact that both parents are entitled to have a loving and caring relationship with their children after a divorce in order to provide the best for your children.
One important part of treating the other parent with the respect in child custody that is needed to raise healthy children that are not constantly in the middle of conflict is gratitude. Whether the other parent is in your opinion is a good parent or a worthless excuse for a human being in your eyes, it is helpful to look at it for what that person’s existence means to you. Had you never encountered the other parent, good or bad, for one night or many, that little child or children who mean the world to you would not exist. Their unique genetic combination is only the result of having had a relationship, however, brief the encounter, with the other parent. Take the other parent out of the equation from the start and your child would not exist. If every time you have conflict with the other parent and you can go to a place of gratitude for that person for having given you one of life’s greatest gifts, your child, it becomes much easier to deal with whatever conflict you have. As much as your love your friends and your current significant, remember it was this other parent who gave you life’s greatest gift. If you look at it from the perspective of your child, you may understand the importance of having both parents involved in the child’s life, no matter how great or how little. How many parents have a relative who may have done similar things as the other parent, but they find it acceptable to still love their relative while completely trying to eradicate the other parent from the child’s life for the same things? Oftentimes, parents think of custody from their own wants and needs rather than looking at it from their child’s best interest.When you come from a place a gratitude, it helps you to make decisions that are in your child’s best interest and helps reduce the conflict that can damage children.
For more information on custody visit: /Family-Law-Divorce/Child-Custody-Visitation/
What to expect at a hearing
Landlord TenantOnce a landlord tenant complaint is filed in the local courthouse, a hearing date will be set. The hearing will be scheduled no later than 15 days from filing. The local sheriff or constable will then serve the tenant with the complaint and hearing notice, either personally or by posting them conspicuously on the property.
When you get to court, the landlord has the burden of showing that the tenant should be evicted (either for non-payment of rent, termination of the terms, or breach of the lease). Furthermore, the landlord has the burden of showing any damages, including rent due and owing, legal fees, and damages to the property. The tenant may then present and defenses or arguments against what the landlord is claiming.
The landlord will testify first. The tenant (or his attorney) then has the right to cross-examine the landlord. This means that the tenant has the right to ask the landlord questions. The landlord may call additional witnesses. The landlord may only ask the witnesses questions rather than have a conversation. The tenant has the right to cross-examine each of those witnesses as well. After the landlord rests his case, the tenant may then testify and call his own witnesses. The landlord then has the right to cross-examine those witnesses. Finally, the landlord may present rebuttal testimony.
If the tenant filed a cross-complaint, then the tenant has the burden of proving this during he and his witnesses are testifying.
It is recommended that you hire an experienced attorney as the rules of Court are very complex. The Rules of Evidence apply and you may be prejudiced if the other party has an attorney and you do not.
Why a Power of Attorney is as Important as a Will
EstatesOftentimes people are very concerned about making sure that they have a will but do not think about a power of attorney. While it is an important part of an estate planning process, and is critical if you have specific goals and desires on how you would life your life’s savings distributed upon your death, without one your closest relatives will still receive your assets under the intestate laws. If you are married, this means your spouse. The state does not take your assets unless and until there are no living relatives.
A power of attorney, however, has no fall back provision. If you do not have a power of attorney when you need one, your loved ones will have to petition the court and ask to be appointed as your guardian. This can be an expensive and time consuming process. A power of attorney, unlike a will, is a document that takes effect while you are living. It gives power to whomever you choose to handle your financial affairs, including paying your bills, signing checks, even selling your property. You can use a power of attorney while you are still capable of handling your affairs but are unavailable or you can use it solely in the event that you become you incapacitated and are no longer able to handle your affairs. Some people will use one if they are out of state and need to sell their house. They can designate a power of attorney to handle the transaction for them at settlement. A power of attorney can specify what rights and power you give the other person and it can be limited to specific things.
It is a very powerful, but often overlooked document. You should trust fully the person you designate as it can be abused. You can revoke it in writing at any time. It can be used for many different reasons. If say, for example, you have a child in college and you want information on their account with school or grades, you can talk to your child into signing a Power of Attorney to allow you access to this information. So many parents are frustrated when they pay college bills and yet the school will not even tell them the balance due. It is a very useful tool in the event of an unfortunate and tragic accident that does not result in death. If the breadwinner is suddenly not available, rather than have to file a petition and wait for court, a Power of Attorney will enable the spouse to handle all the affairs, negotiate checks, obtainformation on the mortgage and other bills that may only be in the other person’s name.
The cost of a Power of attorney is very inexpensive (approx. $ 100) compared to the cost that will be incurred if someone does not have one when it is needed (thousands). It is something to think about to protect yourself while you are living or assist your loved ones.
For more information, visit us at: /Estates-And-Probates/Power-of-Attorney-Or-Health-Care-Directive/
What happens to the ring when the wedding is called off
BlogSometimes an engagement does not always result in a happy ending. If the couple, for any reason, does not get married, what happens to the ring? Oftentimes, a woman who has been dreaming of getting married feels justified keeping the diamond engagement ring that was given to her. These feelings are especially strong when she is not the one who called off the wedding. If she is in Pennsylvania, however, the law does not support her. In the event an engagement does not result in a marriage, the engagement ring legally belongs to the giver. It does not matter who calls off the wedding. The ring is a gift conditioned on a promise of a wedding. When the wedding does not take place, the ring must be returned. If the ring is not voluntarily returned, filing an action through court may be the only route possible. In either event, it may be wise to make sure the diamond is examined to ensure that it is the same diamond that was given before the wedding was called off.
Self-love on Valentine’s Day
BlogSelf-Love is important. For those who are separated or divorced, remember that loving yourself is a way you can make Valentine’s special for yourself. Enjoy a day at the spa, read a good book, spend time relaxing in a bathtub or doing something you enjoy. Maybe go see a new movie and celebrate with friends or children or family. No one can make you happy but yourself and this is a day to celebrate the love you have for yourself just as much as it to celebrate the love you have for others.
Child Support and where the money goes
SupportOftentimes people who have to pay child support do not understand why they have to pay the amount that they do. Sometimes they think that they can demand receipts for everything that their money is used to by for the child. In PA, the parent who has the majority of the time is the one who is entitled to receive child support. If parents have equal time, the parent who earns less is entitled to receive child support. There is no accounting required for expenditures except in the instance when the party is seeking additional money in unreimbursed medical expenses, or child care costs which are over and above the basic support obligation. While it may seem that several hundred dollars is more money than you would spend on the average child in a given month, the paying parent often fails to consider that the basic child support factors in basic needs including housing, electric, food, clothing that the primary parent needs to provide. When you consider the additional cost that a two bedroom apartment costs versus a one bedroom apartment, and the additional water or electric used, it becomes easier to understand and accept why the court orders the amount of support that they do and easier to accept that it is not a dollar for dollar tally of the expenses used for the child.
For more information about child support, please visit:
/Family-Law-Divorce/Child-Support/
NJ Divorce on the Papers
DivorceCertain counties in New Jersey will now allow a divorce to go through without requiring appearance in court. This option is available if there are no issues raised other than the divorce. For example, there are no custody, support, or equitable distribution issues. Alternatively, if the parties reach an agreement on all outstanding issues, the agreement can be incorporated with the request for the divorce and the appearance requirement can still be waived. A final judgment of divorce will need to be prepared. The judgment should include whether an agreement is being included. The judgment should also cover the minimum requirements for divorce such as appropriate jurisdiction based on residency. Further, if wife intends to retake her maiden name, that should be included in the proposed final judgment.
In addition to preparing the judgment of divorce, both parties should submit supporting certifications. The certifications should go into further detail about the facts establishing the divorce action. The certification should set forth the marriage date of the parties and the period of residency. The cause of action should be stated (e.g. irreconcilable differences, separation, etc.). The certification should state if there are any children between the parties and if so, their names and date of birth. Again, if an agreement has been reached regarding ancillary issues, the agreement should also be referenced in the certification. Finally, the parties should indicate they are waiving their right to trial in favor of having the divorce granted without personal appearance.
Click here to read more on divorce in New Jersey.
Getting through child custody with gratitude
Child CustodyChild custody is one of divorce’s greatest challenges. When all is said and done and the assets are distributed and the divorce is final, there are still the children of divorce that forever tie you to the other parent. Whether your children are little or grown, there will be times when you will encounter the other parent whom you are no longer married to but have children and possibly grandchildren in common with after the divorce. This can be frequent during child custody. Oftentimes, when children are little, there remains hurt feelings, resentment, possibly jealously as the other parent moves on seemingly unscathed. It may be very difficult during these times to maintain the level of civility in child custody that is critical to raise happy, successful children of divorced parents. The last thing you may want to do is have to continue to parent with this other person that you no longer love, that you resent or that continues to undermine everything that you think is best. It takes acceptance of the fact that both parents are entitled to have a loving and caring relationship with their children after a divorce in order to provide the best for your children.
One important part of treating the other parent with the respect in child custody that is needed to raise healthy children that are not constantly in the middle of conflict is gratitude. Whether the other parent is in your opinion is a good parent or a worthless excuse for a human being in your eyes, it is helpful to look at it for what that person’s existence means to you. Had you never encountered the other parent, good or bad, for one night or many, that little child or children who mean the world to you would not exist. Their unique genetic combination is only the result of having had a relationship, however, brief the encounter, with the other parent. Take the other parent out of the equation from the start and your child would not exist. If every time you have conflict with the other parent and you can go to a place of gratitude for that person for having given you one of life’s greatest gifts, your child, it becomes much easier to deal with whatever conflict you have. As much as your love your friends and your current significant, remember it was this other parent who gave you life’s greatest gift. If you look at it from the perspective of your child, you may understand the importance of having both parents involved in the child’s life, no matter how great or how little. How many parents have a relative who may have done similar things as the other parent, but they find it acceptable to still love their relative while completely trying to eradicate the other parent from the child’s life for the same things? Oftentimes, parents think of custody from their own wants and needs rather than looking at it from their child’s best interest.When you come from a place a gratitude, it helps you to make decisions that are in your child’s best interest and helps reduce the conflict that can damage children.
For more information on custody visit: /Family-Law-Divorce/Child-Custody-Visitation/
Dividing a Business in a Divorce
Equitable DistributionOftentimes in a divorce, one of the assets that the family court in Pennsylvania must decide how to distribute is a business. In most instances, the Court is not distributing or dividing the control of the business but rather the value. If the business is premarital, the increase in value during the marriage is considered for purposes of the divorce. In order to determine the value of the business, the parties can either stipulate to the value or they will need what is known as a business valuation. There are generally three different methods used to value a business and one method or a combination may be appropriate depending on the type of business. If the spouse who does not control the assets needs to get a business valued, it may be necessary to petition the court during the course of the divorce to request the other spouse to advance the cost of the business valuation. A business valuation is neither simple nor inexpensive.
Due to the cost of a business valuation, some parties make the mistake and assume the business does not have any value. While that may be true in some cases if the business is solely due to the efforts of the spouse, two questions to consider are 1) whether the business has any hard, physical assets that could be liquidated or sold and 2) whether the business could be successfully sold to a third party. If the answer to either of those questions is a yes, then there is some value to the business.
Depending on the value of the business and other assets of the marriage will determine how the business factors into the distribution. If an offset with other assets can be accomplished, it may be best to do an offset of the value. In cases where the business is the most valuable asset, a structured buyout will be necessary. This may involve a combination of a lumpsum and payments over time.
For more information see:
/Family-Law-Divorce/Divorce-Involving-Business-Owners-the-Self-Employed/
Social Security Benefits when Divorced
DivorceWhen you get divorced in PA, social security is not considered as an asset in divorce. It may be considered as income for purposes of alimony but not as an asset. If you were a spouse who did not work and did not contribute to Social Security or if you worked part-time and your benefit is not very much, you should inquire as to whether you are eligible for spousal benefits. If your ex-spouse worked and contributed to Social Security, you may be eligible for Social Security. In order to be eligible, you must be unmarried at the time you apply for benefits. Even if you are divorced in between marriages from someone else, you may still be eligible to collect on the first spouse if you meet the requirements. You must be at least 62 years. You must have been married to the spouse for at least ten years to collect. If your spouse is not yet collecting, you can still collect as long as you have been divorced for at least two years. If you wait until full retirement, you will receive half of what your ex-spouse’s full retirement benefit is. Your collection of the half of their benefit does not reduce their full benefit. They will still be eligible for their full retirement benefit. Social security no longer sends statements out in the mail of your earning history but they are easily accessible online at www.ssa.gov and you should set up an account for yourself to view online. To learn more about your rights if you are divorced visit:
http://www.socialsecurity.gov/retire2/divspouse.htm.
Custody and Incarceration
Child CustodyWhat happens to a child when their parent goes to prison? If a child is placed with the state agency, such as Children and Youth, a parent may still be able to visit with their child during the time that the parent is incarcerated. It is important for an incarcerated parent to do everything possible to maintain contact with their child and to be active in order to protect their parental rights. Failure to maintain contact or interest can result in a termination of parental rights and adoption if the child is in agency care. Even if visits do not occur, it is important to write, request information about the child, attend hearings and take parenting classes while in prison. If drug and alcohol abuse is an issue, it is important to seek help while incarcerated through the programs offered through the prison.
If a child is with the other parent, oftentimes, the Court does not enter a visitation schedule. Perhaps the Court does not feel compelled to make a parent who is not incarcerated bring a child to visit the prison whereas if the child is in foster care, an agency worker usually brings the child to the prison. Studies show that maintaining family relationship usually helps with the rate of recidivism. If you do choose to bring a child to the prison, you may wonder what those visits look like and what happens during the visits.
If the inmate is in Bucks County, they will be either housed in the prison or the community center. You must contact the prison to find out days and times that there are visitation hours. You should arrive early as they only have limited number of visitors and if it fills up, you will not get in. Your child must be accompanied by an adult and both the child and adult must be on a pre-approved list in order to get it. The visits last approximately a half hour and you will be herded in through security to a room with windows and a telephone. Your child’s parent will be brought into a large gym and they will find you at the window with the phone where you can speak through the glass via a phone. There is no physical contact.