As a parent, you may naturally worry about how divorce will impact your relationship with your children. Separation is a time of emotional upheaval for everybody, including your children, who face the loss of the family unit as they know it. 

The prospect of divorce may make children feel confused, anxious, or angry. Any associated changes, like relocation or changing schools, could add to the stress. The tips below will help nurture your relationship with your child throughout and after divorce.

Help Your Child Process the Situation

Your child may struggle to understand or accept the end of your marriage. They may wonder how the family will function from now on, how holidays and birthdays will work, or whether they’ll have to leave their home and friends. 

Sit with your child and explain what’s happening in a calm, reassuring, and age-appropriate way. For young children, hearing that the divorce is nobody’s fault and that both parents will always be there for them may be enough. Teens may appreciate more eye-to-eye communication and stronger involvement in their living or schooling arrangements. 

However, no matter how old your children are, avoid over-sharing details about the legal proceedings, property division, or alimony. Simply assure your child that you and their other parent will arrange all practical matters. 

Make Time for Your Children

During divorce proceedings, it’s easy to become caught up in practical arrangements like gathering documentation or looking for a new place to live. It’s important to stay present for your children, not just in taking care of their physical needs, but as a parent who still makes time for fun. 

Take your child out to the park, arrange a movie night, or do other meaningful activities that show your child that spending time with them is high on your priority list. 

Work Together With Your Co-Parent

Divorce is a time when emotions run high and disputes flare up. The entire process will be much less stressful if you and your soon-to-be-ex agree on a parenting plan that covers all essentials, like with whom the child will primarily live and how you’ll split vacation time. 

Your child will fare much better emotionally if you present a stable and united front as co-parents. Always speak respectfully about your child’s other parent and avoid making your child feel like they must choose sides. Professional mediation can help you both bridge any differences with your ex.

Of course, amicable co-parenting might be challenging if your soon-to-be-ex deliberately tries to alienate your child against you or uses custody as a bargaining chip. Consult a skilled family lawyer if you’re divorcing a narcissist or another high-conflict personality type.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.: Helping You Navigate Divorce and Custody in NJ and PA

Are you concerned about how family dynamics might affect your children before, during, and after divorce? Our skilled and empathetic family law team at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you work out a parenting plan that minimizes conflict and protects relationships. Schedule a consultation today.