Tag Archive for: divorce

College Scholarships and Divorce – Who Has to Pay?

We wrote a recent blog about children’s student loans and divorce. But what about children’s scholarships? How are those handled?  

Unlike other states, parents in PA do not have a financial obligation to pay college tuition.  However, to reduce conflict, you may want to negotiate tuition payments as part of your divorce process.  The effect of scholarships on college costs should be part of the negotiations before settlement. A “motion to modify” can be filed afterwards, but this can be a difficult and time-consuming process, so it is best if all contingencies are considered before the divorce is settled. Here we will consider several possible scenarios.

GI Bill

A parent who has been in the military is able to transfer his or her Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits to a spouse or child, under certain circumstances. If the military person is the father, for instance, he may negotiate that this will cover his portion of college expenses for several children, or perhaps decrease child support payments. But since the transfer can be revoked at any time while he is still on active duty, a settlement or final judgment must either prohibit the revoking of the transfer or provide for compensation in the way of payment, alimony, or another benefit of equal or greater value.

Parent works for a university

Universitites often offer significant tuition discounts to their employees’ children. This should also be part of the settlement. Contingencies must also be included in case the parent leaves the university, changes universities, or the child does not wish to attend that university where their parent works. In these cases, what is each parent’s responsibility? And will the discount reduce just that parent’s educational responsibilities, or will the benefits be spread between the two parents? These and other questions need to be considered and answered in the settlement.

Other scholarships

Additional scholarships are available as well, including many scholarships for the children of divorced parents. The divorcing couple needs to decide how this will impact the final amount each one is responsible for. If one parent works diligently with the child to find as many scholarships as possible and the other parent does nothing, do the scholarships benefit just the parent who worked so hard or do they reduce the responsibility of both parents?

There are no set laws regarding division of the benefits of scholarships, therefore this needs to be carefully reviewed and defined in the divorce settlement. We at Ulmer Law have extensive experience helping parents navigate all the intricate details involved in creating a settlement that provides for their children as best they can while covering their own assets. Contact us for a consultation.


by

Shared Accounts and your Divorce

Digital technology has advanced at such a rapid pace and has permeated so many aspects of our lives that you don’t realize how many ways you’re dependent on it until you have to separate your digital world from the partner with whom you’ve shared it.

Chances are, you’ve disclosed much or all of your personal information to your spouse, and you two have many shared accounts. You need to do several things, ASAP.

  • Change the passwords on your personal accounts, and choose more unusual identifying questions. Your spouse probably knows your mother’s maiden name or the street you grew up on. Destroy any password lists you may have made, whether on your computer or on paper.
  • On accounts that you share but can easily be divided, create your own separate accounts or remove your spouse’s ability to access them.
  • On accounts that you may need to continue to share, set up separate access information. List shared accounts that primarily belong to your spouse or that may have monetary value and give it your attorney. If your spouse locks you out and you feel you should have access, your attorney will have the necessary information.
  • Transfer your own sensitive data from your home computer and shared gadgets, then permanently delete it. You may need to wipe those files from the machine. If you must continue to use that machine, create your own personal username and keep the password secret.
  • Secure your gadgets and those of your children, if you have custody. Remember, whatever your children have access to, your spouse may also have access to, especially when they are visiting. Make sure there are no spy apps or keyloggers on your gadgets, and turn off the “Find My Friends” tracking system. You can also back up all of your information on your gadget and do a full factory reset.  
  • If you’re connected with your ex on any of your social media accounts and you don’t want him or her to see your accounts anymore, make sure you block him or her.

Here is a partial list of the kinds of digital shared accounts you may need to consider:

 

  • Financial accounts, such as bank, credit card, investment, taxes, and retirement accounts (You may need to talk to an attorney about how to handle these.)
  • Insurance accounts (home, car, life, medical)
  • Access to your children’s schools’ parent portals or student portals
  • Medical records
  • Online storage, such as iCloud, Google docs, iTunes, photo storage, computer backup accounts
  • Online rewards, such as frequent flyer miles or credit card points Online entertainment services, such as Netflix, Hulu, ebooks on Kindle, etc.
  • Family email and social media accounts
  • Shared household accounts, such as phone service, amazon account, food delivery service, and any other services with whom you’ve contracted
  • Google calendar
  • Virtual property

Again, this is only a partial list. We try to go over the most common shared accounts with our clients and encourage quick action, but look closely at your digital activity and try to find all the ways you use digital space. Take action on those joint accounts that are clearly yours, and talk to us about the best way to handle the rest.


by

Legal Issues When One Parent Moves Out of State

When deciding custody, the courts in most states use the “best interests of a child” measurement to determine division of custody and visitation rights. When the parents live a significant distance from each other, whether the custodial or non-custodial parent moves, “the best interests of a child” are again brought into the equation along with other relocation factors. Unless the parents are able to come to an agreement outside of court, the court may decide to permit the move or not, and can order new custody or visitation agreements. Different states have different laws, so it’s best to review the case with a legal counsel who is familiar with your state’s law.

When the custodial parent wants to move

In order for a custodial parent to move with a child, the parent needs permission from the other parent or court approval. If you leave without either, you risk being sanctioned, which could include fines or jail time.

Pennsylvania defines “relocation with children” as a move that “significantly impairs the ability of a non-relocating party to exercise custodial rights.” Before moving, the custodial parent must notify the non-custodial parent in writing, sent by certified mail with return receipt requested, including certain specific information. The other parent has 30 days to respond. The legal details of the process can be quite complex, especially if the non-custodial parent objects.

It is best to come to an arrangement with the non-custodial parent, with both parents signing an agreement giving permission to move and renegotiating visitation. This agreement can then be submitted to the court. If you cannot come to an agreement, you will need to file a petition with the court requesting to move.

Once again, the court will weigh whether or not the move is “in the best interests of the child.” The court may decide that the move may improve the child’s situation enough to outweigh the disadvantages of having a non-custodial parent farther away. The court will then issue a new visitation order.

When the non-custodial parent wants to move

In Pennsylvania, relocation laws do not specifically cover the non-custodial parent, but that does not mean that a parent can move wherever he or she wants without concern for the law. When a non-custodial parent moves out of state, the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) comes into play, keeping all custody decisions within one state and enforcing the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act, to ensure a non-custodial parent does not abscond with the children.

Additionally, if the non-custodial parent moves anywhere without notifying the custodial parent and the court, that parent risks various consequences: being found in contempt of court, paying the custodial parent’s legal fees, being charged with “parental neglect,” and losing parental rights.

Thus, it is crucial to go over your plans with the other parent well in advance of your move and, if necessary, file a modification of child visitation with the court.

 

Regardless of which parent is planning to move, having experienced counsel to help you through the process will limit the stress on both parents and help you come to an agreement that benefits the children and that the court will approve.


by

Student Loans and Your Divorce

Given the high cost of higher education, student loans carried by either or both spouses can weigh heavily on financial decisions and life choices. Often it can delay the purchase of a house or starting a family. This can cause a great deal of stress. It’s not surprising that 13% of divorced people say student loans were the major cause of their divorce.

But who pays the loans after you split? There’s no easy answer to this question. You might think that the spouse who got the loan pays for the loan, but there are many factors.

  • Was the loan incurred before or after marriage?  Here in Pennsylvania, loans acquired during a marriage will be considered marital property.
  • Did the other spouse supply support, such as delaying education, taking over additional responsibilities, or taking another job while the incurring spouse was in school?
  • Did the supporting spouse help pay down the debt already?
  • Was a degree earned?
  • How long were you married after the degree?
  • Did the degree lead to a lucrative career from which both parties benefited?
  • How well can the other spouse support himself or herself without the incurring spouse’s income?

The determination of whether the loans are considered separate property or marital property is the most fundamental factor, before other considerations are made. In a community property state, marital property, including debt, is split 50/50. In an equitable distribution state, the factors listed have much more weight when determining the distribution of the debt.

If the loan was incurred before marriage, it is considered separate property – generally. But if the degree was subsequently incurred once married and both spouses benefited from the degree, the loan may be considered to have been incurred in order to attain marital property, and therefore it will be considered marital debt. If a degree was not earned or no benefit came from the degree, it would likely remain separate property. The spouse who incurred the debt would be solely responsible for it.

In some situations, the support provided by the other spouse may actually be considered a loan in kind, which could offset the supporting spouse’s portion of the incurring spouse’s loan debt.  It is important to note, when we work with you on equitable distribution of assets and debts, the loan may still fall primarily on the party who attended school.

The best approach when dealing with these muddy waters is to enlist the help of a lawyer with expertise in the area of student loan debt. The lawyer will be able to give you the likely scenarios for your particular situation and come up with a presentation of facts that will best benefit you. Talk to us to see what we can do for you.

 


by

Divorcing a Narcissist: What to Expect, What to Do

Not every jerk is a narcissist. A true narcissist has low empathy, assumes superiority, craves power and control, and wants to win at all costs. Men outnumber women 2:1 in true narcissism, so for ease of reading, I will assume the husband is the narcissist. But this advice is equally important for a husband dealing with a narcissistic wife.

What to expect in your divorce

In short, expect it to be long, hard, and ugly. This probably won’t surprise you, considering what you lived with.

Your narcissist will try to drag it out as long as possible, filing motions, not showing up, missing deadlines. He will refuse to settle and refuse to negotiate. He wants to be in control, wants to win, and wants to see you lose. It doesn’t matter how much it costs him, and if it costs you, too, that’s a win for him and a loss for you.

He will paint you black, even if he has to lie about it. He has little or no concept of the emotional harm he’s doing, even to his children. He thinks he’s right, thinks he’s superior, and probably thinks he’s the victim and everyone should feel sorry for him. And narcissists can be charming (which is probably how he fooled you in the first place) and will, at least at first, probably fool the judge.

If there are children involved, this behavior will sadly overflow into his relationship with them. He will not share his schedule, will make commitments for them without telling you that will cause you inconvenience or embarrassment, and will probably talk badly about you to them and their friends.

What you can do to survive and “win”

First, you need to stay emotionally healthy through this. Seek the emotional support you need. You may already be experiencing the effects of living with such a spouse for so long. You will probably benefit from a therapist experienced in dealing with these kinds of situations. Your children might also need someone to talk to. Strengthen your circle of friends and family who see your spouse clearly and support you emotionally.

Second, find a good lawyer who clearly understands these situations and how to counter the tactics of a narcissist. Any old lawyer won’t do. You need experienced help.

Record everything! Your lawyer will advise you as to the kinds of records you need to carefully keep, but start chronicling your conversations and interactions with your spouse as well as your day-to-day activities. You will need them when he makes wild accusations against you.

Stay calm and take the high road. Though you’re likely to fall into his trap once or twice and lose your cool, each time you explode in anger or tears, you play into the scenario he’s painted of you. Your pain won’t be able to be hidden, and that’s good and appropriate. But remain honest and calm in your court dealings.  Your narcissistic spouse is not rational and will not listen to rational arguments, so speak only to your lawyer or the judge about the false accusations.

This also applies to your interactions with your children. You may have to correct any false things your spouse or ex-spouse says about you, but avoid accusations or negative talk about their other parent. It may take time, but eventually they will see through the lies.

Even if your spouse is not a full-blown narcissist, some of these problems may arise and the advice remains. Take the high road, develop emotional strength, record everything, and get a good lawyer.

by

Starting a Divorce

The first step in pursuing a divorce is to have a Complaint filed with your local court. The Complaint would include the grounds under which you are seeking divorce as well as any other types of relief requested. For example, your complaint may also include counts for equitable distribution if there is marital property, custody if there are minor children involved, and support for minor children or between spouses. There is a filing fee due at the time the complaint is filed. The amount of the filing fee varies by county. Once a divorce complaint the court will assign a case number. This case number is to be used on all future filings regarding the case.

After filing a complaint, the next step is service. Pennsylvania Rule of Civil Procedure 1930.4 discusses acceptable methods of service for all domestic relations matters. The opposing party also has the option to sign an Acceptance of Service form. This is a viable option if the divorce is amicable. The complaint can be served by personal service. If the complaint is being served personally, the person effectuating service should complete an affidavit of service indicating when and where the opposing party was served. Personal service can be carried out by any adult that is not a party to the action. The Sheriff can be contacted to effectuate personal service for a fee. There are also numerous private companies that will effectuate service for a fee. Finally, a complaint may be served via mail; specifically, certified mail, return receipt requested, restricted delivery. Service in a divorce matter must be accomplished within 30 days of when the complaint was filed where the Defendant is within the Commonwealth.

by

Social Security Benefits

Social Security retirement benefits are payable based on an individual’s prior earning’s history. A party in divorce may be entitled to collect social security benefits based on the earnings history of their spouse instead of their own. For this to be an option, your spouse must already be at least 62 years old and receiving their social security benefits. Additionally, you must have been married to your spouse for at least ten years and be at least 62 years old. There is an exception to the age requirement if your spouse is deceased in which case you can start collecting at 60 years old or 50 years old if you are disabled. You cannot be remarried at the time you are electing to receive a spouse or ex-spouse’s benefits however, remarriage is permissible if it occurs after age 60 or age 50 if disabled.

Finally, your social security benefits based on your earnings history must be less than your spouse’s benefits. You can only elect to receive one social security benefit and should opt for whichever is higher. By electing to receive benefits under a spouse’s earnings history you do not diminish the benefit your spouse is entitled to receive themselves. You spouse will continue to receive the full amount of his or her benefit. You are entitled to receive 50% of the benefit your spouse is receiving. If, however, your spouse pre-deceases you, you are then entitled to receive 100% of your spouse’s benefits. Further, any children under 18 at the time of your spouse’s death would be entitled to certain benefits as well.

by

How to Help Your Divorce Lawyer Help You

Our goal is to help your divorce proceed with the least amount of stress and difficulty. We know our business, but regarding your particular case, we only know what you tell us. There are things you can do to help everything run smoothly.

So, how can you make your divorce easy?  

First: We need to know your goals as well as certain personal information. What are you hoping to gain from the divorce? Full custody? Child support? Spousal Support? The business? Certain property items? A clear wishlist at the beginning will help us strategize.

Do you or your spouse have any medical issues, either mental or physical? Are you both U.S. citizens, or could divorce affect legal status in the country? Do you have any pre- or post-nuptial agreements or any lawsuits pending? These details and issues might affect settlement.

Second: Timeliness is crucial. Please be sure to provide us with the necessary documents or answers to questions we may ask as quickly as possible so that we can keep your case moving forward.  Sometimes our schedule will be set to keep your process moving forward while other times the courts have a set calendar we must follow.

Third: Keep in touch. There will be periods of lull in the proceedings; we will reach out to you to keep you informed or request further information, but check in regularly if you would like a real-time update.

Fourth: Provide documentation. We will provide a list of documents that we need from you, but if you come to your first appointment equipped with some documentation, things may go much more smoothly. Here is a summary of the kinds of items we will need:

 

  • Statements from banks and other financial institutions
  • Tax returns and supporting documents
  • Bills, loans, mortgages
  • Insurance policies
  • Wills or living wills
  • Titles on property owned
  • Financial information about any businesses owned
  • List of property owned singly or jointly, including jewelry, furniture, and other items, with listed value
  • Any correspondence you think is pertinent: letters, emails, texts, or social media posts

In summary, help us help you by providing documents or answers that we need, meeting deadlines, and keeping in touch.

by

5 Reasons to Avoid Going to Divorce Court

The familiar phrase “ugly divorce” usually refers to those that have gone to divorce court because they could not or would not agree on specific items (or anything!). There are some situations in which divorce court is the only option, but it should be avoided if possible. Afterall, a judge will be making decisions about your life, financial situation and how you spend time with your children.  Court should be a last resort, because of the serious negative aspects of this particular means of settling marital dissolution.

  1. Divorce Court creates a very combative atmosphere. Before going to court, lawyers may try to work together to find an equitable settlement, but in court, their job is to “win” for their clients. Tactics may be more aggressive because the lawyers need to place a very strong argument before the judge, and may include the “airing of dirty laundry.” The public disclosure of private family matters is something you might prefer to keep private.
  2. Divorce Court creates intense stress and hurt feelings, further damaging the relationship of the spouses, which inevitably hurts any children involved. All this pain decreases the future possibility of cooperation between the spouses, which also hurts children.
  3. Divorce Court can be long and drawn out. The judge is a very busy person and your court dates need to be fit into his or her schedule. Long periods of lull followed by intense and stressful court proceedings will be the norm.
  4. Divorce Court is expensive. Besides court fees, going to court takes more time and more work for the attorney than other methods.
  5. Divorce Court is risky! You may think you will get “justice” but unfortunately, that may be less likely in court than in one of the alternative methods. This is because judges do not always agree with your version of fair.  Certainly they try to be fair and impartial but, they don’t know you, your spouse, or your children. They don’t have time to hear every stitch of evidence. You don’t get an opportunity to talk to the judge directly; you’re dependent upon your lawyer. Then this judge, who doesn’t know you, hasn’t talked to you, hasn’t walked with you through this process, only knows what the lawyers have said about you and what evidence has been presented about you, will make a binding decision on everything that matters the most to you: your children, your assets, your very future. This is incredible power in the hands of one person.

Generally, unless one spouse is particularly combative, has a history of abusive behavior or substance abuse, or is suspected of hiding significant assets, divorce court is not the best option and should be avoided.

Mediation or collaborative divorce processes are methods that are less stressful and often less expensive. A litigated divorce, which essentially means a lawsuit, is often necessary, since in 80% of cases only one party desires the divorce. Nonetheless, litigated divorces don’t need to go to court, and every effort should be made to prevent that step.

by

Discovery in Divorce

Discovery is the process of obtaining information from the opposing party in the course of a lawsuit. Discovery is governed by the Pennsylvania Rules of Civil Procedure (Pa. R.C.P.). Discovery is allowed in alimony and equitable distribution without leave of court. The information requested must be relevant to the case pursuant to Pa. R.C.P. 4003.1. In divorce, the court gives much leeway as to what is relevant since the factors for equitable distribution allow for broadness.

Formal discovery methods must adhere to the Rules of Civil Procedure and the acceptable methods include interrogatories, depositions, production requests, subpoenas to produce documents, and request for admission. Interrogatories and production request are the most frequent methods of discovery in divorce cases. Interrogatories are a written set of questions for the other party to answer. A production request lists all the documents a party is seeking. Subpoenas are utilized as well when it is necessary to get information directly from the source in the instance a party does not have it or will not cooperate in turning it over. Authorizations can be acquired in lieu of a subpoena if a party has not produced the documents themselves but is willing to cooperate in signing the authorization for the opposing party to do the legwork in obtaining the documentation.

Due to the expense to the parties for discovery, lawyers will sometimes agree to exchange discovery informally. This generally involves the lawyers deciding what information is relevant and then gathering that information and sending it to the other side in exchange for receiving documentation that they need from the other side that is also relevant.

Rule 1930.5 states that there shall be no discovery in a simple support, custody or Protection from Abuse proceeding unless authorized by court.

by