Tag Archive for: divorce

Child Custody – What Not To Say About Your Ex

Your emotions are probably intense if you’re navigating a heated child custody battle. Saying something negative about your ex may seem like a good idea. After all, couldn’t it show the judge that you should have full custody instead of them?  

In reality, saying the wrong thing during a custody battle can hurt your case. It can also place more stress on your children during an already tumultuous process. Our Bucks County, PA child custody attorneys provide a few tips on what not to say or do during a child custody battle. 

Don’t Say Negative Words About Your Ex to Your Children

Your children are at the heart of your custody battle. It can be tempting to involve them in your arguments by slandering your ex in front of them. 

Maybe you want to vent to your kids about how rude your ex is. It’s much better to vent to a friend or an attorney than to involve your children. 

Kids become confused easily and don’t need to know the details of your dispute with your spouse. If the judge hears you were complaining about your ex to your kids, they may believe you were trying to alienate them, which could affect your co-parenting agreement and visitation rights. 

Don’t Tell Your Children What Your Ex Did

Did your ex cheat on you? Steal money from your joint accounts? Lie about their behavior? Tell it to the court — not your children. On the rare chance your child is called to testify, a judge will not look favorably on your tattling about your ex to your kids. Your custody battle is already stressful enough for your children without you encouraging them to choose sides or lose trust in their other parent. 

Don’t Tell Lies About Your Ex

You may be tempted to make up lies about your ex in court to prove poor parental conduct. Maybe you believe your ex would be neglectful of your child, but you don’t have any proof of them acting that way, so you decide to make up a story about how they forgot to pick your child up from school. 

If a judge finds out you lied in court, it could have devastating consequences for your child custody case.  

Don’t Be Rude or Disrespectful 

While tensions run high during child custody battles, avoid being rude or disrespectful to anyone involved in your case. Unkind words to your spouse can make their way to the judge’s ears and hurt your case.

You especially need to watch what you say in court. Judges make decisions in the child’s best interest, and if they see you acting immaturely or aggressively, they’ll consider your behavior when finalizing the court orders. 

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., for Guidance Through Your Custody Battle

Knowing what to say and what not to say during a child custody dispute can be challenging. Allow experienced and compassionate divorce attorney Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., to guide you. Contact us today at (866) 349-4721 to schedule a confidential consultation. 

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Child Custody: What Not To Do for the Good of Your Kids

How can you help your child navigate your divorce?  Keep the focus and a close eye on them, agree to be civil and peaceful, and let them process the changes.  

Working out a child custody agreement is one of the biggest priorities for divorcing couples with kids. Just because you and your spouse don’t want to remain married doesn’t mean you must give up parenting time and miss out on parental involvement as your children grow up.

However, you will need to avoid certain things that could affect the status of a child custody agreement. This will reduce the chances of you ending up in a custody battle later on because you chose not to play by the rules you helped establish.

Here are several examples of what not to do when it comes to child custody.

Criticizing Your Ex

As part of the child custody agreement you and your ex-spouse reached, you’ll likely have specific times throughout each week when you’ll have sole custody of your kids. If your divorce is still fresh on your mind, you might use this as an opportunity to tell your kids details about your divorce. You might also use it to criticize their other parent while in their presence.

Steer clear of doing these actions at all costs. Studies on children with divorced parents have shown that about one-third of them wish their parents wouldn’t criticize each other while they’re around. It can do a disservice to kids by making them feel like they’re stuck in the middle.

Even if you and your ex-spouse aren’t cordial in the aftermath of your divorce and continue to disagree over issues like child support, you shouldn’t let it show when you’re with your kids. Instead, keep the focus on them to take full advantage of your child custody setup.

Failing to Cooperate

If you’re constantly uncooperative while communicating with your spouse about child custody, it could create major problems. They may accuse you of being difficult and begin documenting all the instances in which you’ve given them a hard time. It could lead to a judge changing the terms of your original child custody agreement to minimize the contact you have with your ex-spouse and/or kids.

To keep your initial child custody agreement intact, stick to the child custody schedule that you agreed to and that a judge signed off on.

Being Inconsiderate

Are you always showing up late to pick up your kids or calling your ex-spouse at the last minute to let them know you can’t make it for a visit? Worse, do you take your children on vacation without letting your ex-spouse know or even just pick them up early from school on certain days without your ex-spouse’s permission?

All these actions are inconsiderate, to say the least. They are also reasons that a judge might cite for needing to make adjustments to your current child custody schedule.

Need Help With a Child Custody Case? Let Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Lend a Hand

Divorce cases that involve child custody can be more complex than other divorce cases. Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can provide the legal representation you need to navigate your way through a complicated case. Call (866) 311-4783 now to arrange a consultation.

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College and Divorce: Covering Kids’ Tuition and Other Costs

Just because you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are ending your marriage doesn’t mean your kids can’t still receive a college education. You should, however, devise a plan regarding college and divorce to ensure your kids can afford to enroll one day.

See how to accomplish this goal below.

Who Pays College Tuition for Kids Following a Divorce?

In a perfect world, divorced parents with kids wouldn’t have to worry about who would pay for their children’s college tuition since the school would provide enough financial aid and scholarships to cover those costs.

In reality, most situations involving college and divorce are more complicated and involve some level of financial investment. It isn’t always clear which parent should pay for college-related expenses, leading to confusion and, in some cases, resentment.

You and your ex-spouse should be on the same page as far as who will cover which college costs. In some cases, one of you might be in a financial position that allows you to cover significantly more costs than the other. However, you might also need to agree to fill out a Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form with your kids to take out loans to pay for their schooling.

Do Child Support Payments Continue When Kids Attend College?

When a married couple with kids chooses to divorce, they usually come up with a custody agreement. As part of it, one parent typically agrees to pay the other child support until their kids turn 18.

However, you and your ex-spouse might decide to extend child support payments beyond this point and use them to pay for your kids’ college tuition. This could turn into one parent’s contribution while the other pays out of pocket for additional expenses.

How Can You and Your Ex-Spouse Plan Ahead for College?

Married couples ready to divorce shouldn’t wait until their kids are college-aged to figure out who will pay for higher education. Instead, they should talk about their expectations for paying for college while working on their initial divorce settlement.

Whether your kids are still small or on the verge of going to college in a few years, make the proper plans for paying for their college educations in advance. This will prevent you from having to scramble to come up with last-minute solutions to dealing with college and divorce.

Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., To Assist With Your Divorce

When it comes to who pays for college and divorce, there aren’t any definitive laws. It’s one of the many instances in which divorced couples must set their feelings for one another aside and do what’s right for their kids.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help make this possible. Call (866) 311-4783 to learn about your options.

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What Happens After Divorce Papers Are Filed?

Serving divorce papers is typically the first step taken during the divorce process. One party will file for either a no-fault or fault-based divorce through a lawyer. This attorney will put together the proper divorce paperwork and have it served to the other party to start the process.

But what happens after divorce papers are filed and served? It often varies from one divorce case to the next.

Keep reading to find out which steps take place once divorce papers have been filed.

The Spouse Who Received Divorce Papers Responds

The spouse who files an initial divorce complaint is considered the plaintiff in a divorce case. They must arrange to have their soon-to-be ex-spouse served with divorce papers. This spouse is considered the defendant in a divorce case and has 20 days in Pennsylvania to review the papers and respond.

In some cases, the defendant in a divorce case is expecting divorce papers and can respond to them quickly. In others, they’ll find themselves caught off guard and want to connect with a divorce lawyer before taking any further action to learn the answers to questions like, “What happens after divorce papers are filed?”

A Divorcing Couple Goes Through a Separation Period

In Pennsylvania, married couples aren’t allowed to simply file for divorce and go their separate ways in a matter of days, weeks, or months. Even if a couple plans to keep things amicable and go through a mutual consent divorce, they’ll need to endure a mandatory separation period before they can officially divorce.  

In the greater Bucks County area, we follow Pennsylvania laws for divorce.  The Keystone State imposes a one-year separation period for no-fault divorce cases. However, this can be shortened to 90 days (also known as the cooling off period) in instances in which the couple agrees to move forward. Fault-based divorces are an exception to this rule. They won’t need to go through a waiting period since these cases usually involve serious issues like adultery, domestic violence, substance abuse, etc.

The Rest of the Divorce Process Moves Forward

After a married couple spends a year living separately, they can go to divorce court in Pennsylvania to go through the formal divorce process. This process involves ironing out issues, such as marital property division, alimony, child custody, and more, in front of a judge.

You and your partner might also have the option to skip divorce court by coming up with a divorce agreement. Divorce lawyers for you and your partner can work on hammering out an agreement outside of court so you don’t have to deal with the stress of going through the usual divorce proceedings.

Start Working With Trusted Divorce Attorney Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.

In some situations, the answer to the question, “What happens after divorce papers are filed?” is straightforward. In other instances, it can confuse a person going through divorce proceedings for the first time.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., is here to help you make sense of the divorce process. Call (866) 311-4783 to speak with a divorce lawyer you can count on.

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Who Pays the Bills During Divorce Proceedings?

Studies have shown that going through a divorce can take a huge physical and mental toll on a person. Divorcees are more likely to have health-related issues including heart issues and depression.

A divorce can also present problems for a person’s financial situation, especially if they share joint finances with their soon-to-be ex-spouse. They might struggle to answer the question, “Who pays the bills during divorce proceedings?”

If you’re going through a divorce, you’ll want to answer this question first. It will prevent you from falling behind on your financial obligations during the divorce process.

If You and Your Partner Are on Good Terms

Recent surveys suggest about one-third of divorced couples describe their splits as “amicable.” If you and your partner are ending your marriage but are still on good terms, it should bode well for you when answering the question, “Who pays the bills during divorce proceedings?”

In this case, you and your partner should attempt to stick to the status quo and continue paying your bills just like you always have. If, for instance, you’ve traditionally used both your paychecks to cover household expenses, keep doing this.

Take this approach to paying:

  • Mortgages
  • Insurance premiums
  • Utilities
  • Car notes
  • Grocery bills
  • Daycare costs

Just confirm your partner is holding up their end of the bargain. Gain access to online accounts you share and check to see that they’re making payments.

If You and Your Partner Aren’t on Good Terms

While some couples keep things cordial during divorces, others end up on bad terms from the second they separate. This can complicate matters when answering the question, “Who pays the bills during divorce proceedings?”

If you and your partner are going through a contentious divorce, you shouldn’t simply trust them to continue to operate in good faith when it comes to paying the bills. You both need to sit down and come to an official agreement about who is in charge of paying which bills.

You might even want to secure a temporary order from a judge laying out how you’ll pay your bills. This order will reveal:

  • How much income you and your partner make
  • Which of you is responsible for paying which bills
  • What will happen if one of you decides not to pay bills

A Word of Caution

Divorce often brings out the worst in people. This is especially true in divorce cases involving alimony and child support.

If you have the slightest inclination that your divorce proceedings might not go smoothly, work with a divorce attorney to create an agreement between you and your partner.

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., for Help With Complicated Divorce Issues

“Who pays the bills during divorce proceedings?” is just one of many questions you’ll encounter as you go through the divorce process. You might also have to work out issues as you divide your marital assets and take other important steps.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can speak with you about your situation and aim to make your divorce less stressful. Call 866-311-4783 to schedule a consultation.

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Co-parenting and Dangerous Parenting

Co-parenting after splitting up can be challenging even when both sides are well-meaning and cooperative. It’s a lot more difficult when navigating co-parenting and dangerous parenting on your ex-partner’s side. 

Courts will always prioritize well-being while protecting children from high-conflict co-parenting. Consider the following when creating a safety plan for co-parenting with a risky ex.

What If You’re Concerned for Your Child’s Safety When They’re With Your Ex?

As a rule, family law courts believe it’s in the child’s best interests to spend time with both parents. However, some signs might tell you that your ex is unsafe for your kids.

Certain things your children do or say after spending time with the other parent could make you believe it’s dangerous for them to stay with your ex unsupervised. In this scenario, stay vigilant and consult a custody lawyer who knows how to navigate co-parenting and dangerous parenting.

Red Flags of Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

If your child comes back from their other parent with bruises or other signs of physical harm or tells you that your ex has abused them, you’ll want to take immediate action. However, not all abuse is obvious, especially if your child is too young to describe what happened.

Neglect and lack of supervision are also a form of abuse. For example, maybe your child often returns underfed or dirty from your ex’s house, or you discover that your ex neglects to ensure they take their prescription medications. You may also suspect your co-parent lets your child engage in risky or age-inappropriate activities without supervision. 

Finally, you may feel concerned about your ex-partner’s unaddressed problem of alcohol or substance abuse in the context of co-parenting.

You Must Still Obey Court Orders

While courts focus on prioritizing child safety in co-parenting plans, they expect you to comply with the proper procedures and present solid proof of your co-parent’s risky behavior. 

A seasoned lawyer can help you look into legal options for limiting contact with a dangerous parent. However, you can’t simply withhold parenting time based on suspicion. You could get into serious trouble, and the court may reduce your parenting time.

Document Each Incident of Potentially Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

Did your child tell you their other parent pushed, shoved, or slapped them? Write it down and date it. Did your ex-partner send you a text message or voicemail admitting they let the children stay outside until late unsupervised, despite your insistence not to? Save this message.

Keep a personal record of all your ex-partner’s actions that are abusive or could potentially endanger your kids. Then, consult a family lawyer for reliable advice on keeping your children safe.

Dealing With an Unsafe Co-Parent? Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Do you believe your ex is an unsafe co-parent? The skilled divorce and custody lawyers of Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you handle co-parenting and dangerous parenting, including co-parenting with a narcissist or abusive ex. Call us at (866) 349-4907 or schedule a consultation online.

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Co-parenting and Dangerous Parenting

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Co-parenting after splitting up can be challenging, even when both sides are well-meaning and cooperative. It’s a lot more difficult to navigate co-parenting when there are signs of dangerous parenting on the side of your ex-partner. 

Courts will always prioritize well-being while protecting children from high-conflict co-parenting. Consider the following when creating a safety plan for co-parenting with a risky ex.

What If You’re Concerned for Your Child’s Safety When They’re With Your Ex?

As a rule, family law courts believe it’s in the child’s best interests to spend time with both parents. However, some signs might tell you that your ex is unsafe for your kids.

Certain things your children do or say after spending time with the other parent could make you believe it’s dangerous for them to stay with your ex unsupervised. In this scenario, stay vigilant and consult a custody lawyer who knows how to navigate co-parenting and dangerous parenting.

Red Flags of Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

If your child comes back from their other parent with bruises or other signs of physical harm or tells you that your ex has abused them, you’ll want to take immediate action. However, not all abuse is obvious, especially if your child is too young to describe what happened.

Neglect and lack of supervision are also a form of abuse. For example, maybe your child often returns underfed or dirty from your ex’s house, or you discover that your ex neglects to ensure they take their prescription medications. You may also suspect your co-parent lets your child engage in risky or age-inappropriate activities without supervision. 

Finally, you may feel concerned about your ex-partner’s unaddressed problem of alcohol or substance abuse in the context of co-parenting.

You Must Still Obey Court Orders

While courts focus on prioritizing child safety in co-parenting plans, they expect you to comply with the proper procedures and present solid proof of your co-parent’s risky behavior. 

A seasoned lawyer can help you look into legal options for limiting contact with a dangerous parent. However, you can’t simply withhold parenting time based on suspicion. You could get into serious trouble, and the court may reduce your parenting time.

Document Each Incident of Potentially Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

Did your child tell you their other parent pushed, shoved, or slapped them? Write it down and date it. Did your ex-partner send you a text message or voicemail admitting they let the children stay outside until late unsupervised, despite your insistence to the contrary? Save this message.

Keep a personal record of all your ex-partner’s actions that are abusive or could potentially endanger your kids. Then, consult a family lawyer for reliable advice on keeping your children safe.

Dealing With an Unsafe Co-Parent? Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Do you believe your ex is an unsafe co-parent? The skilled divorce and custody lawyers of Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you handle co-parenting and dangerous parenting, including co-parenting with a narcissist or abusive ex. Call us at (866) 349-4907 or schedule a consultation online.

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A Brief Guide To Appealing Your Divorce

Imagine this scenario: A judge has ruled on your divorce, and you are unhappy with the decision. Is there anything you can do?

In some situations, you may be able to seek a more favorable judgment that allows you to modify the judge’s original decision regarding child custody or support, property distribution, alimony, and debt arrangements.

This article explores the various grounds for divorce appeal and recommendations for challenging unfair divorce settlement findings.

When You Can Appeal Your Divorce

There’s no question that contesting divorce decree provisions is not easy, and you must have a compelling reason to do so. It’s not enough to simply say that you disagree with the judge, or that you feel the outcome is “unfair.”

Instead, you need to have proper grounds for filing an appeal. There are a few ways you can do this. One of the most common rationales for overturned divorce settlements on appeal is that there was some kind of mistake made.

Examples of mistakes include the judge misinterpreting the law, not correctly applying the legal standards, or making an error regarding the facts. 

Other potential grounds for appealing your divorce could be a showing that there was a lack of evidence to support the judge’s findings or there was another problem with the evidence that impacted the judge’s ability to rule fairly. This often comes down to the judge abusing their discretion and making an unreasonable final decision.

Even if you can demonstrate one or more of the above flaws in the case, there is still a final obstacle to overcome before your case can even be heard. You will have to be able to show that whatever the mistake or flaw was, it would have materially affected the outcome of your case.

How To File a Divorce Appeal in Bucks County

Once you have identified the proper grounds for a divorce appeal, the legal process of overturning the initial judgment and seeking a new one comes next.

The first step in this process is filing a Notice of Appeal, which ultimately informs your former spouse that you intend to appeal the judge’s decision. From there, your attorney will prepare the “Record,” which includes the transcripts and documents from the initial proceeding.

Upon completion of this step, your attorney will file an appellate brief that outlines all of your legal arguments. After being assigned a court date, you’ll be able to present your arguments about the grounds for the appeal and the relevant evidence to support your case.

Finally comes the waiting part of the appeals process. This can take several days, and the court may affirm or reverse the trial court’s decision. It’s also possible that the judgment may be modified or the case could be remanded back to the trial court with further instructions.

Contact an Experienced Appellate Lawyer for Divorce Cases

While the goal is to stay out of court so you and your spouse can make all the decisions, sometimes an appeal is necessary. For more information or to begin the appeal process, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at 866-349-4907 for an initial consultation.

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Is a Parent’s Home Unsuitable for Visitation? Here Are Some Options

While there is no such thing as a “perfect” home, a child must have a safe, stable, and healthy environment in which to live. If you believe that your former spouse or partner is putting the mental, physical, or emotional safety of your child at risk by not maintaining a home suitable for visitation, keep reading to learn more about your options.

What Really Makes a Home Unfit for Child Visitation?

Whether a home is actually adequate for a child to live in or visit depends on numerous factors. A judge can evaluate if an environment meets the overall criteria, looking specifically for objective signs that the home is suitable, comfortable, and safe for children.

Obvious signs of unsuitability include substance abuse, domestic violence, and physical abuse. In these situations, the other parent can be ruled unfit, and the court can remove the child from the home.

There are also more subtle clues that a parent’s home is genuinely unsuitable for visitation. For example, an unclean, a hoarding situation, or a lack of basic needs (like utilities being deactivated), clearly indicate that the parent is ill-equipped to provide a home appropriate for visitation.

Additional factors may also come into play. For example, if the other parent is neglecting the child or not being responsive to their needs, that could be a sign that the environment is unsuitable. While there can be universal guidelines, many of these judgments may come down to an individual situation based on the age of the child and the current and past rules set by or agreed upon by the parents.

One of the first steps in protecting a child from having to spend time in a home that is unsuitable for visitation is to gather evidence of an unsafe visitation environment. This can involve documenting your concerns and communicating constructively with the other parent.

In keeping with the goal of protecting the best interests of the child, anyone who suspects abuse or neglect can report the situation to Child Protective Services. This initiates an investigation and includes interviews, home observations, and reports, which can be used as evidence in court.

A family law attorney can guide you in pursuing legal actions such as filing a petition to restrict visitation due to unfit home conditions or pursuing child custody modifications due to unsafe conditions. If there is concern that both parents’ homes are unsuitable for visitation, the next step may be to explore alternative solutions such as conducting visitations at a neutral site.

Contact an Experienced Family Law Attorney

Every child deserves to grow up and thrive in a truly safe and healthy environment. At Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., our law firm takes an empathetic and compassionate approach to resolving child custody conflicts, including those centered around safety.

To learn more about how our attorneys can help you, call us at 866-349-4907 for a consultation.

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How Can You Speed Up Your Bucks County Divorce?

Divorce is a challenging process, both emotionally and legally. Many people wonder how they can speed up the divorce process. The time it takes to get divorced will vary depending on a variety of factors, including whether the divorce is contested or uncontested. Here in Pennsylvania, Act 102 changed the waiting period for a contested divorce from two years to one year. After being separated for one year, someone can lawfully file for a contested divorce and begin legal proceedings.  

However, an uncontested divorce will almost always take less time than a contested one — on average, around 4-6 months. If you are looking to expedite the process, we recommend pursuing an uncontested divorce. This means you must agree with your soon-to-be ex-spouse about the grounds and terms of the divorce, including asset distribution and child visitation schedules. 

An experienced attorney can help you navigate the legal system and negotiate a divorce agreement efficiently. You must be prepared to take a couple of steps before beginning this process. 

Commit To Negotiating 

It’s important to have realistic expectations when you file for divorce. With so many legal elements involved, like child custody agreements, child support payments, property division, and alimony, even the most amicable of divorces can lead to disagreements during negotiation. From the beginning, anticipate that you will need to make some concessions. 

Find Emotional Support 

Making compromises during negotiations can feel particularly challenging when emotions are running high. Seek out emotional support from friends, family, and loved ones. Their support can ground you when you feel stuck, making it easier to work toward settlement agreements and obtain a fast divorce. 

Do Your Research 

When it comes to child support and visitation rights, both parties in a divorce have a right to spend time with their children, as well as a responsibility to contribute financially. Your legal team must have a clear picture of your financial situation. 

Share baseline truths about your finances with your divorce attorney. Come to meetings prepared with tax documents and receipts. Being honest about your finances, with documents to back it up, will help speed up your divorce by eliminating future surprises. 

Avoid a Long Battle 

Above all, don’t just accept that all divorce cases will be long, arduous battles. This does not have to be the case and is usually unnecessary. Drawing out the process will cost both parties a lot of money, time, and stress.  

By entering divorce discussions with a fully informed legal team and an expectation that you will need to compromise, you are setting yourself up for a smooth and quick divorce. 

Contact an Experienced Bucks County Divorce Lawyer 

The legal professionals at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., are experienced in helping clients navigate the legal systems of divorce. We prioritize clients’ peace of mind and well-being. Call or email us today for a confidential discussion to address your concerns and learn more about how we can help you speed up your divorce. 

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