Tag Archive for: divorce

Postnuptial Agreements: Better Late Than Never

,

A properly executed, valid agreement made before or after a couple marries should simplify divorce proceedings. Prenuptial (or in Pennsylvania, premarital) agreements are better known and, generally, easier to enforce. A contract made after a marriage takes place (a postnuptial agreement), though different, can accomplish many of the same goals and be very useful if you divorce. 

What Can a Postnuptial Agreement Cover? 

Postnuptial agreements can cover critical issues, so you should have legal representation when one is negotiated and executed. Without a lawyer’s help, you may agree to a one-sided contract that can severely disadvantage you if you divorce. A red flag would be if your spouse is represented by an attorney, but you’re not. 

Postnuptial agreements can lay out what happens to the couple’s assets and debts if they divorce, ideally shortening the divorce process and simplifying it. A wide range of issues can be covered, including what happens to a business that one or both parties own. They can also set down rules on what will happen to assets if a spouse engages in destructive habits like infidelity, substance abuse, or squandering the couple’s resources. 

What Must a Postnuptial Agreement Have to be Enforced By a Court? 

There are many potential issues concerning the enforceability of Pennsylvania postnuptial agreements: 

  • They must be in writing. 
  • There should be full disclosure by both parties of income, assets, and property, but that can be waived by one or both parties.  
  • A postnuptial agreement, ideally, should be fair, but that’s not a requirement. Courts interpret these agreements by using contract law. Its focus is more on the fairness of the process and less on the outcome, though a court wouldn’t approve of a spouse being left destitute. 
  • Both parties must voluntarily and fully agree to the agreement’s terms. A spouse may claim their agreement was the result of fraud or duress, so it shouldn’t be enforced.   

If you’re going through the time and expense of this process, you should make sure what you want becomes a reality. Legal representation should prevent enforcement problems before they happen.  

When Only One Spouse Wants a Postnuptial Agreement 

Agreements can be very helpful from a legal perspective, but creating one may not excite your spouse as much as your lawyer.  

  • Both of you may have fundamental disagreements about how assets would be handled through a divorce 
  • One may fear the process of creating a postnuptial agreement will needlessly add stress to your relationship  
  • If one of you earns much more than the other, the one making less may fear an agreement will put them at a disadvantage 

If these are issues, the two of you should have open and honest discussions. If creating an agreement is important to you, but your spouse refuses, contact our office so we can talk about this and the best way to move forward. 

If you have any questions about postnuptial agreements or want help negotiating and drafting one, please contact us here at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. We can discuss your options and how we can help you.

by

What are Your Divorce Options? 

,

Like most lawsuits and legal disputes, nearly all divorces resolve outside of a courtroom. Most parties can’t justify the costs of a trial in money, time, energy, and stress. How you approach your divorce and its resolution depends on you and your spouse.  

Divorcing spouses come from all different emotional directions. They may be heartbroken, emotionally exhausted, or enraged. They may be willing to settle at all costs and just get the divorce over with or be eager to fight over every penny. After learning about the law and going through the process, most couples, no matter their starting point, realize that reaching a resolution is the best option. 

Do You Want to Go to Court? 

Going to court usually happens when one or both parties are unreasonable. One side may look at the issues rationally, but the other makes unreasonable, unacceptable settlement demands. Sometimes both parties are willing and able to use litigation to try to legally bludgeon the other spouse to get what they think will be a victory. 

There are many reasons to avoid litigation. The cost in time and expense can be substantial, especially if the issues are complex and there’s a lot of evidence that could be admitted. Even if you get a favorable judgment, the other party may appeal, potentially prolonging the case for years. 

Litigation puts the outcome into the hands of a judge or jury. It’s like handing over your car keys to someone you don’t know and giving them directions, but they ultimately decide where you’ll end up. In this situation, the issue is not which town you’ll be in. It’s what will happen with your future life, your finances, and your children. 

How Do You Want to Approach Your Divorce? 

Nearly all divorces are uncontested, but you could try to fight your spouse’s attempt to get one. Unless you have compelling reasons, contesting a divorce when your spouse no longer wants to be married, for practical and legal reasons, probably doesn’t make sense. 

If the two of you understand the relationship is over and have no (or few) axes to grind, a collaborative divorce is worth considering. It’s a divorce in which both parties agree to do their best to resolve their issues out of court (though resolving them in court is an option if their efforts fail). It works best when you’re both amicable and will talk and act in good faith. It may also work when financial issues are already worked out in a prenuptial agreement.  

Disagreements that you can’t resolve need not end up in court. Another option is using a mediator, a neutral third party (usually an attorney, sometimes a retired judge) who helps both sides reach an agreement. In addition to representing parties, we at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. also mediate disputes between divorcing couples. 

Do You Want Legal Representation? 

The answer should be yes. If you’re of low income and have few assets, you may qualify for help from a legal aid organization to help you and your spouse divorce. Otherwise, contact our office. Your situation may be much more complicated than you think, and your spouse’s proposals may not be as reasonable as they appear. You must understand your rights and protect them during a divorce. A mistake made when you do it yourself may haunt you for the rest of your life. 

The attorneys at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can answer your questions and represent you in your divorce, no matter which approach you take or how it’s resolved. Contact us today to see how we can help you.  

by

Congratulations! Your Divorce is Final! Now What?

,

A divorce starts a new chapter of your life. But even after it’s final, your life will not turn on a dime, especially if you share children with your ex-spouse. There will be loose ends to tie up and details to address. Where do you start? 

What’s in Your Divorce Agreement? 

The divorce agreement is part of your divorce order. It will require you and your spouse to do certain things by given dates. Some things are time sensitive, like changing property titles and deeds. 

Compile a list of what needs to be done and when, and calendar each task. You must honor your end of the bargain and keep track of your spouse’s obligations, so if they miss a deadline you’ll know about it.   

If you have a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO), it’s a court order that may require one of you to share your retirement savings with the other. It’s often part of the process that divides spouses’ assets, and their requirements are time-sensitive. 

Will You Need Health Insurance? 

Unless you’re old enough for Medicare, have health insurance from your employer, or already purchased it yourself, you’ll need health coverage. If you got it through your spouse’s employer, you could continue it through the COBRA process for up to three years. This is probably pretty expensive, so you might just want it to be a bridge to more affordable coverage. One option may be an Affordable Care Act (ACA) plan or a policy you buy from an insurance agent. 

If you have kids and your ex-spouse gets medical benefits from work, maintaining that coverage is probably the best option. If not, COBRA or the ACA may be good options. 

What’s Your Credit Score? Is it Getting Better or Worse? 

Protecting your credit score will allow you to borrow money and get lines of credit at the lowest interest rate possible. Here are post-divorce steps you can take, according to AARP: 

  • Close joint accounts: Your ex-spouse may run up debts and be late with payments or not pay at all. Inform creditors of your divorce and that you’re not responsible for further debts. 
  • Get monthly statements: If joint accounts have outstanding balances, these statements will show you’re making timely payments. 
  • If you move, file a change of address notice with the U.S. Postal Service: If you don’t get a bill, you won’t pay it, and that will harm your credit score. If you pay bills online, getting monthly statements or changing your address won’t be issues. 
  • Use credit cards wisely: Don’t engage in binge “retail therapy” shopping if you feel depressed. You’ll only feel worse when you get the bill, and your credit score will suffer if you don’t make payments on time. 
  • Regularly check your credit reports: See if there are any errors or problems caused during your marriage or divorce. Take action if you find them. 
  • Freeze your credit files: Given your spouse knows your Social Security number and other critical information, you may fear they may engage in identity theft. If so, a credit freeze should prevent any new accounts from being opened in your name 

Be proactive because preventing financial problems is easier than unwinding them after they happen. 

Have You Updated Your Estate Planning? 

If you had estate planning done during your marriage, you likely named each other as your primary beneficiaries. You probably don’t want your assets going to your ex now, though you may feel they can handle being a trustee for a trust that benefits your children. Make sure your estate plans accurately reflect your wishes.

Is Your Divorce Over, But You Still Need an Attorney? 

We will fight to protect your interests and work to ensure you’re in the best position possible after your divorce is final. Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Attorneys at Law, for a free consultation so we can discuss your situation and how we can help. 

by

What Can I Do If My Ex-Spouse Ignores Our Parenting Time Plan?

,

Parenting plans must be handled with good faith and flexibility. Problems arise when a parent acts in bad faith and ignores their obligations. If you feel this is something you’ll just deal with to avoid a confrontation, know that the situation won’t improve by itself. You’ll reach a point where you’ve had enough.

In most cases, divorces involving couples without kids are simpler because their relationships as spouses (with some exceptions) and individuals will end. That’s not true when parents divorce. They’re responsible for the same children, and unless one parent walks away from their child or is deemed unfit, they both have the right to maintain relationships with their child.

What is a Parenting Time Plan?

A parenting time plan aims to meet everyone’s needs as reasonably as possible by setting out a schedule of when a child will be with a parent. During the school year, the child may spend weekdays with one parent and the weekends with the other (or the weekends are split). This could also involve the child living with a parent during the summer and school vacations. Holidays are usually split between the two parents. Your parenting plan should be customized to fit the lives of those involved.

Ideally, the plan works for everyone, or minor changes are made over time. A child or parent may be sick. A parent may have a long, unexpected business trip. Cars break down. Traffic jams can cause delays, especially if a child and parent have a long distance to travel. These issues should be handled reasonably and unemotionally by the parents.

What Problems May Arise With a Parenting Time Plan?

Sometimes the situation is not ideal. One parent may see the plan as optional. It’s something they change at the last minute without consulting the other parent or child. One parent may feel the plan unfairly limits their time with the child, so they invent their own informal plan by returning the child later than they should.

This can be a serious problem for you. When your ex-spouse is chronically late or fails to communicate with you, it shows a lack of respect for you, your time, and the divorce order. Depending on the child’s age, their plans can be disrupted too. You may miss work or family obligations. Planned time with friends can be disrupted.

How Can I End Parenting Time Conflicts?

Here are some things to think about if you’re in this situation:

  • Is the other parent doing this to you because you’re doing the same to your ex? Are your hands clean, or is this an exchange of fire with your children stuck in the middle? If you’re guilty of the same thing, you must stop.
  • Does the other parent know their obligations? Does a lack of understanding or communication cause these issues? Don’t launch into a verbal attack. Clarify who needs to do what, and when. If the other spouse’s life has changed and the plan is no longer practical, try to work out a solution.

How Can an Attorney Help With Parenting Time Plan Problems?

If neither of these approaches gets results and your ex-spouse acts in bad faith, start documenting the problem. Create a journal with notes of your conversations. Confirm the discussions with a text or email. Keep these emails and texts discussing the situation.

When your child is picked up or returned late, take a photo or video with your smartphone. It should have the date and time when it was made. This is critical evidence that may allow you to leverage the court’s power to help you.

You should also call our office and get legal help. If you haven’t been divorced before, this may be the first time you’ve dealt with this problem. We’ve had many clients suffer through parenting plan battles. We’ve seen approaches that work and those that do not. We’ll put together a plan to get this under control.

One of our attorneys may speak with your ex-spouse or their attorney to try to straighten this out. Mediation may be worth a try. If all else fails, we can go to court to enforce the existing parenting plan and consider asking a judge to find your ex-spouse in contempt of a court order.

At Karen A. Ulmer, P.C., we know how to protect our clients and hold lying spouses accountable. Contact us today to see how we can help you.

by

Can My Spouse Force Me to Get a Job After We Divorce?

,

If you’re awarded or have negotiated spousal support (alimony) as part of the divorce order, whether you work after it’s final may be an issue. Collecting support doesn’t necessarily mean you must work, nor does it necessarily allow you to stop working. It depends on your circumstances. 

Your spouse can’t force you to work after the divorce is final, but they may ask the judge to lower or end your alimony if you don’t have or are not actively seeking employment or a better-paying job. The judge would weigh that against the circumstances you claim would make that unreasonable or impossible. 

What is Spousal Support or Alimony? 

It can be one of several economic changes due to a divorce. One party would pay the other as part of ending the marriage. Arguments for alimony include one spouse sacrificing their earning power by caring for children or otherwise supporting their spouse and their career, so it would be unfair not to compensate the person. 

Pennsylvania statutes don’t require alimony.  Granting it must be “reasonable,” and the alimony must be “necessary.” There are 17 factors a judge must consider, and a judge could come up with more if they’re “relevant” to your case. Some of the factors spelled out in the law include: 

  • The parties’ relative earnings and earning capacities 
  • Their ages and physical, mental, and emotional conditions 
  • The extent the earning power, expenses, or financial obligations of a party will be impacted because they’re a minor child’s custodian  
  • The parties’ living standards during the marriage 
  • Whether the party seeking alimony is incapable of self-support through appropriate employment 

The court order would include how long alimony would be received. The time frame could be limited or indefinite but must be reasonable under the circumstances.  

Why Would Your Spouse Want You to Work? 

It’s in your spouse’s financial interests to limit or prevent you from getting spousal support because the less you receive, the less support they pay. They would claim it’s not reasonable or necessary for you to receive so much support.  

If alimony is part of a divorce order and later your ex-spouse claims a substantial change in circumstances has taken place, they may try to have the order changed, so you receive no or less alimony. 

If the judge sees things your spouse’s way, they may consider your circumstances, education, and work experience and estimate the income you should earn if you sought employment (imputed income). Given that income, the judge may decide if you should receive support and if so, how much. 

Why Shouldn’t You Work? 

You’d have to give reasons why alimony is necessary and receiving enough to support you fully is reasonable. 

  • You’re unable to work. You’re too old or may have a physical, emotional, or psychological disability that makes working impossible. 
  • You’re the full-time caregiver of your minor children, so given the demands of parenthood and daycare costs, working is impractical. You have a stronger argument if you have multiple kids and or they have special needs that take more time and energy. 
  • You’re the full-time caregiver of a parent or other family member. 
  • Your standard of living established during the marriage should continue. You didn’t need to work while you were married. The fact you’re divorced shouldn’t change that.  

You would need evidence to support your claims. Your opinion wouldn’t be enough. 

How Might This Be Resolved? 

The judge may make a compromise between both parties’ positions. You would get enough alimony to fully support you for a limited time, then it would decrease and eventually end. In this period where you need not work: 

  • You should improve your education, skills, or experience so you can get a decent-paying job 
  • Your disabilities would be treated, and job training should help you find work 
  • Your children would mature, requiring less time and effort on your part, allowing you to work  

The judge may also agree with your spouse, and you’ll get no or little alimony. Like all divorce-related disputes, you and your spouse avoid the risk of losing the case at a trial by negotiating an agreement. 

If you’re considering getting divorced, involved in a spousal support dispute, or your ex-spouse is trying to end your alimony payments, please contact us here at Karen A. Ulmer, P.C. We can discuss your options and how we can help you. 

by

Are You Having a Post-Divorce Housing Nightmare?

,

Congratulations! It took some work, but you got the house after your divorce. Hopefully, you’ll spend many happy, healthy years there. But you run the risk of nightmares all homeowners may have (raccoons in the attic?), plus some that divorcees in particular face.

Surprise! You Have an Open Home Equity Loan!

Marital homes and mortgages are usually in both spouses’ names. The house may be in your spouse’s name only, but you’re taking over ownership. As part of transferring the home to you, you would refinance the mortgage or get a new one, so you’re the only one responsible for paying for it.

As part of the approval process, you may discover an unpaid home equity loan (HELOC) on the property. Your spouse may have taken it without your knowledge or forged your signature on the application. They didn’t disclose it during the divorce process, and your attorney may have used a quitclaim deed to change ownership, so no title search was done.

Home equity funds may be accessed by your ex-spouse through checks or a credit card, which may only need one signature. Contact the lender and cancel all credit lines if this is the case. Put the creditor on written notice that you’re not responsible for further debts. If you’re the victim of identity theft, you could file a police report.

Ending the Nightmare and Preventing Future Ones

Your house is the collateral for a loan your ex took out. From the lender’s perspective, your divorce doesn’t change the fact someone needs to pay the debt. Ideally, when confronted with the truth, they’ll have the resources to pay it off and take care of it, but that’s probably unlikely.

Call our office as soon as possible. We can discuss how to make this right. Your ex-spouse may have failed to disclose the loan or lied about it. Unless we can work this out with your ex, we need to go back to court and change the divorce agreement or order to reflect this newly discovered liability.

The amended order should spell out how your ex will resolve the issue. If they don’t have the money on hand to pay the debt, they could be required to sell or liquidate assets or property to clear it up.

This HELOC can be a big problem, but also a sign your ex may have left other financial landmines behind. We may review both parties’ finances again to ensure that’s not the case. If your ex owns their own business, that may be worth looking into because it can be used to hide assets.

If you’ve gotten nasty surprises after you thought your divorce was final, please contact us here at Karen A. Ulmer, P.C. We can discuss your options and how we can help you.

by

Privacy (or Lack Thereof) and Divorce – When Your Kids Share Your Life

,

Starting a new life during or after a divorce is difficult enough. If one of your beloved children is your spouse’s spy, it can make things that much tougher. You need privacy, though depending on your child’s maturity, you may have a hard time keeping it.

Like so many other issues, you need a frank, adult discussion with your spouse on what is shared by whom and when. This must be tempered by your child’s age, personality, and maturity. What you should expect from a seven-year-old is different from what you should expect from a 17-year-old.

Sharing Too Much is Bad

You should both agree that your kids shouldn’t be telling the two of you details about each other’s lives. You also shouldn’t use your child to collect intelligence on each other nor should you believe everything you hear.

Generally, we want our kids to share. We want them to talk about their day and share their feelings, toys, and time. But they must learn that sometimes sharing is not a good idea. They must understand that some things, like information, shouldn’t always be shared. It may be difficult for a child to draw lines between things they can talk about and what they can’t.

It may not be your spouse bribing your child for the latest dirt. Your child may see it as a game. They have something they think has value, so they may believe they’ll get a treat if they tell it to you. The more you tell them you don’t want to hear it, the more they may want to spill the beans.

The two of you should also agree to communicate things impacting your child openly. It’s one thing to date someone new and maintain your privacy, but if they come to your home and meet your kids, you should let your spouse know what’s happening.

Sometimes, Not Sharing Enough is Bad, and Lying is Never Good

You must clarify to your child that there are still important things to talk about, like if someone is abusing, bullying, or harming them. If you or your spouse is losing control and lashing out at your child or neglecting them, that’s not a secret they should hold. Your child needs to understand which secrets to keep and which ones to divulge.

Telling your child you want to keep your privacy so they shouldn’t disclose some things is one thing. Telling them they should lie to cover something up for you is another. You’re setting an awful example for your child that will come back to haunt you. If you teach your kid it’s okay to lie, that’s a lesson they’ll use for years.

In the future, when you catch your child in a lie and it angers you, who’s to blame? Don’t you think your child will throw back in your face the lessons in lying you taught them? Parents in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

If you are considering getting divorced or need legal representation in a divorce matter, it is critical to get help and guidance from a trusted expert in family law. Contact us here at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. to see how we can help you.

by

Protect Yourself Against Stalking

,

A spouse may feel angry and betrayed when you want a divorce. If they can’t handle the situation, they may exact revenge, stalk you, and possibly become violent. Thanks to the internet and smartphones, it’s never been easier to stalk someone. 

What is Stalking? 

Stalking is using unwanted, harassing, or threatening tactics that cause fear or safety concerns in the victim, according to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). These tactics may include: 

  • Following and watching you 
  • Approaching you or showing up where you are, whether that’s in a public place, your home, or workplace 
  • Using global positioning system (GPS) technology to track you 
  • Going into a private place while you’re elsewhere and leaving you items or objects to scare or threaten you 
  • Using technology to spy on you 
  • Making unwanted phone calls, text messages, emails, social media posts, or photo messages 
  • Sending you unwanted cards, gifts, letters, or flowers 

What your spouse might do to stalk you is only limited to their twisted imagination. 

What Can I Do to Prevent Being Stalked? 

Some steps can make stalking more difficult: 

  • Stay off of social media. The more information about your life you put on social media, the easier it is for your spouse to find you 
  • Change your phone number and email address to prevent unwanted phone calls, texts, and emails 
  • If your spouse had access to your smartphone, PC, or laptop, they might have uploaded spyware or stalkerware. It allows them to know everything you use it for and track you. You can try to find it on your device and remove it, but the most effective way to prevent this from affecting you is to get another one 
  • Your spouse may have put an Apple AirTag on your vehicle. This is an electronic device that can allow them to see where it is in real-time. This article explains more about what this is, how it works, and ways to try to prevent this from happening 
  • Lock your smartphone by using a code, a fingerprint, or face recognition technology
  • Turn off the location setting (until you need it to get somewhere), and don’t share your location 
  • Change your routine, so your movements are less predictable 
  • Tell your employer what’s going on in case your spouse shows up at your workplace or tries to call you there  
  • If you are threatened in any way or physically struck, call the police and press charges 
  • If you qualify, get a protection from abuse order. It shows your spouse you’re serious about ending the stalking. If it continues, call the police. If your spouse is arrested and convicted, they may face fines and jail time 

Sadly, you need to take these actions and change your life, but when dealing with a stalker, you need to protect yourself as best you can. Hopefully, your spouse will stop when they see the negative consequences of their actions. 

Get the Help You Need From an Attorney You Trust 

We’ve handled many divorces where the relationship totally broke down, and one spouse became hostile toward the other. This can be a difficult and stressful time, but we’re here to help you get through this and enable you to start a new life. Contact Karen A. Ulmer, P.C. for additional guidance on family law, divorce, protection from abuse orders, and all things divorce. 

by

Why You Need an Attorney for Your Divorce

,

There are many moving pieces to divorce in Bucks and Montgomery Counties here in PA, and if they’re not addressed correctly and coherently you can end up caught in a legal, financial, and emotional mess. The more complex your finances and wealth, and if you have children, the more you need a lawyer to represent your interests in a divorce. It’s a legal proceeding that will affect you and your children for the rest of your lives. 

Not every legal matter requires legal representation, but you should at least consult with an attorney before you move forward. If you and your spouse have low incomes and have little or no property, Legal Aid of Southeastern Pennsylvania may help you through the process. Another option, if the two of you are on good terms, may be a collaborative divorce in which you work with (and need only pay) one attorney to finalize the divorce. 

You Don’t Want to Learn About Divorce While Working on Your Own Case 

If this doesn’t describe you and your family, an attorney should represent you in a divorce. We will protect your rights, ensure you take full advantage of them, and get the best outcome possible. Given your financial well-being, your relationship with your children, and your future are at stake, paying for an attorney is a worthwhile investment. 

Chances are excellent that unless you are a divorce attorney, you lack the knowledge, experience, and skills to make the best of your divorce and put yourself in a good position to start your new life.  

You hire specialists for other areas of your life without much thought. You probably don’t fix your car or make major repairs on your home. You may pay someone else to prepare your taxes. You’re smart enough to understand that there are complex things you don’t understand well enough to handle yourself, so it’s better to hire someone to tackle them for you. 

Where Lack of Legal Representation Can Cause You Severe Problems 

Here are some of the issues that could cause serious harm if you represent yourself and make mistakes: 

  • Dividing assets and debts: A critical part of the divorce process is identifying which assets and debts are marital and subject to division, then dividing them equitably. You may have property you owned before your marriage or inherited during it that shouldn’t be shared with your spouse. Your spouse may also be responsible for debts you are not obligated to help repay. Going it alone could result in handing over your assets and putting yourself on the hook for debts that aren’t yours. 
  • Spousal support and alimony: You or your spouse may or may not be entitled to alimony or spousal support. If you are entitled to it but don’t assert your rights, you could miss a substantial amount of money. If your spouse wants support without a legal right to it or seeks more than they legally deserve, you may unnecessarily transfer a big chunk of your income to your ex in the future. 
  • Child custody and support: Your spouse may not be fit to make crucial decisions for your child, but without legal representation, they may be awarded custody. Your spouse may also demand more child support than what’s justified under the law. 

This situation worsens if your spouse has an attorney, but you don’t. This is not an even playing field because you are at a severe disadvantage. If you can’t agree to a settlement, will you represent yourself at a trial? 

Speak to a Divorce Attorney You Can Trust 

If you have any questions about divorce or think it may be in your future, don’t make any decisions until you talk to us. Contact Karen A. Ulmer, P.C., to schedule a consultation so we can discuss your situation, how the law may apply, and how we can help. 

by

How Do I Prove My Husband Is Lying During Our Divorce? 

,

If you suspect your husband is lying during your divorce settlement, it is critical to disprove his statements, since your husband’s lies could significantly decrease your settlement, affect child custody, or damage your reputation. An experienced divorce attorney will be able to advise you on all legal means available to prove his deception.

Lying under oath, whether in court or in signed affidavits, is a serious offense and can carry civil and criminal penalties. A judge has discretion regarding how to punish lying. For example, depending on the severity of the perjury, he or she could require your lying husband to pay your legal fees, increase your settlement, award you sole custody, or apply criminal charges.

It is critical that you yourself do not lie. You must maintain integrity so there is a clear choice for the judge when your husband’s credibility is damaged by the exposure of his lies. Remember to always take the high road. Remain calm during meetings and court proceedings as well as on social media or email. It is best not to comment at all about your spouse publicly, especially online. 

Lying about finances

Unfortunately, lying about one’s finances is fairly common in divorce proceedings, but it can also be somewhat easy to prove with the right documentation. The difficulty is recognizing the different ways money can be hidden. Review our blog post, What if Your Ex Hid Money During the Divorce, for the many subtle ways money can be hidden. You can provide evidence that your husband is hiding assets in many different ways:

  • Bank, investment, and retirement account statements
  • Income tax returns
  • Household bills
  • Credit card statements 

It is possible your husband has income streams of which you are unaware. Your attorney may recommend you enlist the service of a financial auditor to dig deeply into your husband’s financial matters. 

Lying about you or your relationship

Character assassination is taken seriously by the courts, and your lawyer will know what legal recourse can be taken to stop the intentional damage to your reputation. Although it is uncommon for a husband to accuse a wife of physical abuse, emotional abuse could be alleged. In addition, your husband could lie about having another relationship or might accuse you of infidelity. Whatever the lies, take these steps to disprove them: 

  • Keep copies of social media posts and emails that support your position.
  • Maintain a log of conversations, situations, or events, including dates and times, describing the events and keeping track of quotes to the best of your ability. Indicate if it is a direct quote or a paraphrase.
  • Collect witnesses to the events in question who will sign affidavits supporting your position.
  • Find character witnesses who can speak for your character as well as your husband’s. 

You may need to secure the help of a private investigator to follow your spouse and collect more information.                                                                                                                                                             

Lying about children

As with lies about you, lies about the children or the husband’s involvement in child-rearing are best proven with logs, pictures, social media posts, and witnesses who can give evidence to the level of involvement he had with the children, his behavior toward them, and yours. You may also be able to provide documentation from the schools regarding who attended parent-teacher meetings, who picked the children up or dropped them off, and whose signature was on checks. See our blog post, Obtaining Sole Custody in PA, for additional information. 

One final note, if you want to try to “catch” your spouse lying it is critical to talk with our office immediately, especially if you believe you can record them (over the phone or in person) in the lie. Pennsylvania law has serious wiretapping laws that require consent if either the recorder or any other parties are in the state when the recording is occurring. If you record your ex, for any reason, you could face very steep penalties without that consent.  

Whatever the type of lie, your experienced divorce attorney can subpoena records, request gag orders, and schedule depositions for your husband or his witnesses under oath, in order to uncover any inconsistencies or deceptions in your husband’s statements. At Karen A. Ulmer, P.C., we know how to protect our clients and hold lying spouses accountable. Contact us today to see how we can help you.

by