Tag Archive for: divorced parents

Divorce and Paying for College

In October 2024, a class action lawsuit was filed against 40 private American universities — including Harvard, Northwestern, and Yale — alleging that they conspired to charge students more tuition than they should have. The lawsuit claimed these institutions did this by asking for and considering the assets of non-custodial parents when calculating financial aid and scholarships for children of divorce, putting them at a decided disadvantage.

This legal claim highlighted the ongoing confusion surrounding divorce and paying for college. If you and your spouse are preparing to split, make sure you understand the legal obligations of divorced parents when covering tuition down the line.

Discover what you need to know below.

The Importance of Coming Up With Tuition Agreements in Divorce Settlements

Paying for college is often the last thing on parents’ minds when divorcing. In some instances, it is such an afterthought that they don’t bother including it in their divorce settlements at all.

However, parents should avoid making this mistake at all costs. While divorcing, they must negotiate child custody agreements, and college expenses should be discussed. They should talk about:

  • Which parents will pay tuition
  • Which types of schools they will encourage their kids to attend
  • How far away they would like these schools to be
  • How they will handle extra fees and expenses

They should also consider setting up 529 college savings plans and negotiating potential child support extensions for higher education.

Key Factors To Consider When Deciding Who Pays for Higher Education After a Divorce

As parents working through divorces make critical decisions about paying for college for their children, they should consider several key factors. These are the factors they must keep in mind:

  • Their respective financial situations
  • Children’s academic performances
  • Possible financial aid opportunities

Generally speaking, parents should also be prepared to prioritize their kids’ needs and aspirations.

Why Divorced Parents Must Continue Working Together and Discussing Tuition

No matter how hard parents work to agree on who will pay for college, so much might change between the finalization of their divorce and their children’s first day away at school. For this reason, they must commit to continuing to work together in the coming years to collectively create plans for paying for college.

They should discuss filling out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA), which nearly 60% of prospective college students complete as they prepare to graduate from high school. They should also explore the possibility of applying for financial aid for specific schools their kids would like to attend.

This will keep them on the same page, taking advantage of available financial assistance as they seek to support their children in their quest for higher education.

Call Us for More Information on Paying for College for Kids Following a Divorce

Paying for college is more expensive than ever. This is reason enough for parents preparing to divorce to hold extensive discussions about who will be financially responsible for covering their children’s higher education costs.

The trusted attorneys at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., will assist you in every aspect of your divorce. Contact us at (866) 309-3307 today to schedule a confidential consultation.

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Co-Parenting Success

One of the toughest aspects of divorce is sharing your kids with your ex. You may not like your ex, and they might not care for you, but both of you love your kids. How can you make sure your children have a happy relationship with their other parent if the two of you struggle to even make eye contact?

Developing flexible problem-solving skills with your ex is a challenge, but one well worth overcoming. Below, you’ll find tips to guide you on the path to co-parenting success.

Helping Your Child Adjust to Their New Life

Divorce may feel like a breath of fresh air for you, but for your kids, it can be extremely upsetting. Suddenly, they’re splitting time between two homes and two sets of parents. In addition to that, maybe they have new siblings and a new school. It’s a lot to take in for little ones.

To help your kids adjust, work with your ex-spouse to establish consistent routines. Children thrive with a set schedule for meals, homework, playtime, and bedtime. Ask your ex to maintain your child’s schedule when it’s their time with the kids.

Encourage Open Communication Between Your Ex and Kids

Many parents try to keep their kids away from their exes as a way to hurt them. No matter how much you dislike your ex, though, you should never use your children as a weapon. Not only does this hurt your child’s well-being, but courts tend to frown on those who keep children away from the other parent.

Encourage your kids and ex-spouse to talk to each other regularly, whether that’s through phone calls, emails, or in-person meetings. If anything important comes up in your child’s life (health updates, school events, etc.), be sure to share them with your ex. You may not like doing it, but it’s a cornerstone of co-parenting success.

Be a Person of Your Word

It’s your ex-spouse’s week to have the kids, and maybe you’re tempted to show up late to the dropoff just to spite them. Doing that might feel good in the moment, but it only places stress on the kids and damages your relationship with your ex.

If you say you’re going to be somewhere at a certain time, keep your word. Your ex will be more likely to do the same for you.

Don’t Like How Your Ex-Spouse Parents? Keep It to Yourself

Maybe your kids come home excitedly chatting about that treat Daddy fed them or the toy Mom bought as a surprise. You think your ex is spoiling them rotten, and you don’t like it. But if you want to maintain successful boundaries, you’d be smart not to say a word.

Ex-spouses shouldn’t judge each other’s parenting styles. All that does is create hostility and confuse the kids. It’s wiser to just stay silent and maintain respectful boundaries (unless, of course, your ex’s parenting style places your children in danger).

We’ll Help You Create a Positive Co-Parenting Dynamic

Achieving co-parenting success is a big challenge, but the attorneys at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. will help you overcome it. For a consultation, call us at (215) 752-6200.

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Co-Parenting Basics for Divorced Parents

Your children will benefit from a healthy relationship with both their father and their mother after divorce, so to co-parent effectively, remember the three C’s: Cooperation, Communication, and Consistency

Cooperation

Remember, it’s all about what’s best for your children. As adults, you have to put their needs before your own hurts and grudges, however real they may be. As long as one of them is not abusive, your children need to have a healthy relationship with both parents.

You will need to make some important decisions about who will be the parent liaison to doctors, educators, coaches, etc. Will communications from these institutions go to one parent or both? Who will pay for insurance, education, and extra-curricular activities? Will both parents attend school and sport events, parent/teacher meetings, and doctor appointments?

Determine a schedule of custody that takes into consideration school, holidays, and special events. How will the child be transported between homes? What degree of flexibility is there when “life” happens and schedules or plans need to be changed?

Communication

Communication and cooperation work hand in hand. You must have a well-structured communication plan in order to cooperate in the raising of your children. Depending on your relationship, you may have to keep it short and business-like, but you should still be civil. If possible, over time, work towards a friendly relationship, since you’re two people who love the same children and want what’s best for them.

Always share important information, milestones, and pictures with your ex. Some divorced parents find it useful to have a shared online calendar with their children’s schedules, notes from school, and other data loaded, so both parents have access.

If you have concerns about any of your children, it’s very important to communicate this, so you’re both aware and can both work on it. This will not only help with the issue, but will show the children that their parents are united with regard to their well-being, which will have a positive emotional effect on them.

Consistency

This unity should be displayed through consistency in other areas as well. Both homes should have consistent rules of conduct and behavior. It’s likely you will disagree on particulars, but children need stability for their best development.

You may find it easier to agree on certain essentials if each parent is permitted leeway in the specifics. While one parent might say 9:00pm bedtime on weekdays and the other says 10:00pm, the big picture message being communicated is, “You need a good night’s sleep to do well in school.” Chores may differ from house to house, but both parents should teach their children responsibility by giving them chores. Rules about manners, foul language, and other issues of courtesy should be obeyed in both homes.

One last word on attitude

Never complain about the other parent, and as much as possible, help the children respect your co-parent. If he or she has personality flaws, it’s best to let the children discover them on their own – within the realm of safety – to avoid unreasonable fantasies or inaccurate beliefs about the other parent that will make your role more difficult.

Make it clear to your children that the divorce is not their fault. They may need to hear this multiple times, but make sure they feel loved and secure, and they will grow into strong and healthy adults.


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