Tag Archive for: domestic violence

When You Are Served With a PFA

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Being served with a protection from abuse (PFA) order can be incredibly scary. You can’t go near your spouse or partner, and maybe you’ve been forced to leave your home. You’re terrified that it’s going to affect your job or custody proceedings.

It’s normal to feel like a ship adrift in the ocean when you are served with a PFA, but Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. is here to help.

What Is a PFA Order and Why Were You Served?

A PFA is the same thing as a restraining order. If you’ve been served with a PFA, it means that the petitioner (your spouse or partner, for example) is accusing you of abuse, harassment, or stalking. Courts in Bucks County take domestic abuse and harassment very seriously, so they grant PFA orders as a form of protection for the petitioner.

There are three main types of PFAs in Pennsylvania, and there’s a big difference between a temporary and final PFA. 

  • Ex parte (temporary) PFA: An ex parte PFA is a temporary restraining order that lasts for a certain amount of time, typically a week to a few months.
  • Emergency PFA: If the petitioner feels like they’re in immediate danger, the court might grant an emergency PFA.
  • Final PFA: After a formal hearing, a judge might decide to make the PFA permanent. Final PFAs last for up to three years but can be extended to 10 years or longer.

Violating the Order Can Bring Disastrous Consequences

When you’re served with a PFA, one of the first things you’ll likely feel is anger. You’re furious that you can’t stay in your home or even see your kids anymore. What right does your spouse or partner have to do that to you?

You’re tempted to return to your home and give them a piece of your mind, but it’s a temptation you should resist. Bucks County courts don’t look kindly on people who violate PFAs. If that’s you, you could be permanently barred from entering your house or lose custody of your kids. The court can hold you in criminal contempt, too, which might result in hefty fines and/or jail time.

Your Spouse Had You Served With a PFA, Now What?

When you are served with a PFA, do not panic. Here’s what to do:

  • Review the PFA documents: A police officer or process server will likely serve you with a PFA document packet. Do not discard this packet, as it contains important information about what you can and cannot do. For example, your PFA might forbid you from communicating with your partner or visiting their workplace.
  • Hire an attorney: It’s not wise to go through legal proceedings without representation. Your lawyer will help you collect evidence disproving the allegations.
  • Attend the hearing: You’ll have the chance to contest the allegations in a court hearing. PFA hearings are usually set on Wednesdays in Bucks County.

Reliable PFA Hearing and Defense Preparation in Bucks County

When you are served with a PFA, Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. is here for you. Call (215) 752-6200 for a consultation now.

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When the Abuser Flips the Table

“There you go again,” your soon-to-be ex snaps. “Why are you yelling at me? You’re abusive. Maybe you need therapy because I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Spoiler alert: They have, in fact, done something wrong.

When the abuser flips the table, so to speak, they can make you feel like you’re losing your mind. They may not hurt you physically, but emotional damage like this can sting even worse.

You’re not at the mercy of your abuser, though. By recognizing their underhanded tactics, you’ll be better prepared to fight back.

The Dirty, Crazy-Making Tricks Abusers Pull To Convince You That You’re the “Bad Guy”

Abusers are masters at emotional manipulation. Many have honed their techniques for years, and they’re scarily good at what they do.

Gaslighting is one of these techniques. It involves misdirection, essentially shifting the blame from them to you in a way that makes you feel you’re losing your mind.

For example, a gaslighting pro might deliberately do something hurtful, then say, “You’re too sensitive,” or “That never happened.”

Gaslighting can also involve false accusations where the abuser flips the table and makes it seem as though you’re the one who deserves blame. For example, suppose your spouse is an alcoholic, and you call them out for drinking when they were meant to be watching the kids.

They say, “I wouldn’t have been drinking if you hadn’t been checking out that guy at the grocery store,” even though you did nothing of the sort. Suddenly, you’re the one under the microscope. The abuser has successfully shifted blame from themselves to you.

Recognizing Self-Defense vs. Abuse

A very common tactic abusers use is to push their victims until they snap and turn to reactive abuse. The victim might scream back or even hit the abuser. This gives the abuser even more ammunition to use against their victim. “You’re the abusive one,” they tell you.

Is that really true? Probably not. These are clear signs that it’s self-defense, not abuse:

  • Your actions are out of character. You’ve never yelled at or hit anyone else before.
  • You feel guilty for what you did afterward.
  • You didn’t initiate the abuse. You only lashed out after the abuser struck first.
  • You feel confused about why you acted the way you did.

Beating Emotional Abusers at Their Own Game

The only real way to beat an emotional abuser at their game is not to play. The abuser wants a reaction from you, so don’t give them one.

Walk away from the conversation (or better yet, leave the house if the abuser lives with you). Call a trusted friend and talk about what happened. It can also be helpful to journal about the incident.

We Refuse To Let That Abuser Walk All Over You

When an abuser flips the table, flip it back by calling Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. Our attorneys have seen it all, and we know how to handle abusive gaslighters with the help of Protection from Abuse (PFA) orders and divorce assistance. You’re never alone when you have our firm looking out for you.

To schedule a consultation, call (215) 752-6200.

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No-Contact Order vs. Protection From Abuse (PFA) Order: What’s the Difference in Pennsylvania?

You’re scared, and you need to put distance between yourself and your spouse in fear that they will hurt you or your children. You know that filing some type of restraining order can help, but you are unsure about which one is appropriate and how the two differ. The idea of navigating the court system and following all the rules can also feel daunting. 

A Protection From Abuse (PFA) order and a no-contact order could both bring you peace of mind. Learn the difference between no contact vs. PFA in Pennsylvania, then seek legal assistance.  

What Is a PFA?

A Protection From Abuse (PFA) order is a court order that prohibits an abuser from coming into physical contact with you. This is a type of restraining order and is often used in cases of domestic violence. PFAs last up to three years and are available to individuals 18 or older or teens and children when accompanied by an adult. 

When you file for a PFA, a police officer will serve notice to your abuser. They must attend a PFA hearing, where a judge will hear both sides and determine whether to issue the court order. If you are in immediate danger, you can also seek a temporary PFA that would go into effect immediately.

PFA orders prevent the abuser from entering your home, school, and/or place of work. If you live with the abuser, they will need to vacate the home. You will also gain custody or visitation rights of your children during this period. 

However, if the defendant fights this restraining order, the judge may not grant it unless you can provide evidence of a physical threat or assault. 

PFAs offer victim protection, but they aren’t the only type of protective order in Pennsylvania. Ask your attorney whether a Sexual Violence Protection Order (SVPO) or Protection From Intimidation Order (PFI) may be better. 

What Is a No-Contact Order?

A no-contact order is a protective order that prohibits a person from contacting you in person, by phone, or by any other means. The main difference between a no-contact order and a PFA is that a no-contact order can only go into effect after a violent act has occurred, not just after the threat of an action. 

No-contact orders go both ways — neither of you can contact each other. This protective order seeks to prevent future crimes. You may seek a no-contact order while waiting for a judge to issue a PFA.

If your abuser violates a no-contact order, they may be found in contempt of court, which can lead to jail time and fines. 

Do you need help understanding the difference between a no-contact order and a PFA? Are you seeking an appropriate protective order? Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., is on your side and can help you navigate every step of this legal process. Contact our Pennsylvania attorneys today at (866) 349-4721 to schedule a consultation. 

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How To File for a Protection From Abuse/Restraining Order in PA

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Filing for a restraining order — legally called a “Protection From Abuse” (PFA) order here in Pennsylvania — can keep you and your children safe from an abuser. Initially, the process of filing for a restraining order in Pennsylvania may sound overwhelming or confusing. But it actually just involves a few simple steps, and once you complete them, you can gain peace of mind. 

What a Restraining Order Can Give You

You can file for a restraining order against an intimate partner or a family member, including a spouse or ex-spouse, parent, child, domestic partner, or person related by marriage. In Pennsylvania, these orders do not protect victims who experience abuse from a stranger or a person with whom they are not “intimately involved.”

A restraining order or PFA offers these protections:

  • The abuser cannot go near the victim’s home — even if the abuser owns it.
  • The abuser cannot have any contact with the victim or their kids.
  • The abuser will need to turn over their weapons.

A judge may order a restraining order to stay in place for up to three years to protect the victim’s safety. In some cases, a victim can use a restraining order to require the abuser to provide financial support. 

How To File for a Restraining Order in Pennsylvania 

If you are in immediate danger of domestic violence or abuse, you will file for a temporary PFA that will go into effect instantly. A judge will review this temporary order at a hearing and determine whether to order a final PFA. 

This is the process to file for a temporary PFA:

  1. You will fill out a petition: If you are filing on a weekday, go to the courthouse to fill out a petition for a restraining order. If you are in immediate danger on an evening or weekend, call the police; they can provide protection until you file at the courthouse the next weekday. 
  2. A judge will review the petition: A judge may ask questions about your reasons for filing the petition. Then, they will grant or deny the temporary PFA and schedule a final hearing within 10 business days. 
  3. The sheriff will deliver the petition to your abuser: A local sheriff will deliver the temporary PFA order, a petition, and the notice of the final hearing to your abuser. 
  4. You will attend the final hearing: You can have an attorney and/or a domestic violence advocate with you at the final hearing. If you and the defendant agree on the terms of the order, the judge will grant it; if either party disagrees, they will share their account with the judge. Your attorney can provide evidence of why the restraining order is necessary.

Your abuser does not need to be present when you file. However, they can attend the final hearing. 

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Can Help You Through This Process

We understand that filing for a PFA (Protection From Abuse) can be scary and overwhelming. Our compassionate attorneys at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., are here to guide you through the process and provide legal representation. Contact us today at (866) 349-4265 for assistance filing for a restraining order. 

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You Thought It Would Be Over, But the Abuse Continues

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You suffered abuse while you lived together. Now you are separated. You might be going through the divorce process, or you have completed it. You have taken multiple steps to put this nightmare behind you. But your ex just can not let go of degrading or demonizing you.  

The Abuse Can Happen in Many Different Ways 

The abuse may have gotten worse since the separation. If the two of you have kids, they may be part of this brutal play your spouse stages. Your ex may: 

  • Belittle, undermine, and criticize you at every opportunity. 
  • Expose your children to unsafe situations or people who cause you fear and concern. 
  • Use intimidation, threats, violence, ridicule, and manipulation to force the children to comply with their wishes. 
  • Prevent your child’s social interaction to maintain control.  
  • Stalk you physically or electronically by bombarding you with emails, calls, threats, and abusive messages. 
  • Physically confront you at your home, in a public space, or at your workplace. 

The abuse is only limited by your ex’s imagination and what they think they can get away with. 

What Can I Do About It? 

Document what is going on. Keep text messages and emails. Take screenshots of abusive social media posts. Write a journal and describe what is happening, how you are responding, and the stress and pain you are enduring.  

If you are harassed in person, use your smartphone to (as discreetly as you can) record conversations. To be legal, both parties must consent to phone calls being recorded. You can use an app to record what is being said on a call, but your ex must be told about it. They may hang up or not care, and they will continue the verbal abuse. If your ex comes to your home, you can set up security cameras to record what they are doing and when. 

If your children are sucked into this tornado, we can help you seek sole custody and, if we cannot end visitation, limit it and ensure that a third party supervises it. If there is no custody order, we can start the process. If there is one, we can ask the court to modify it. Your chance of success increases with more extreme and better-documented behavior. 

Judges decide custody and visitation issues based on a child’s best interests. Being subjected to this kind of behavior and language is harmful and damaging, not just now but potentially for the rest of their lives. 

If you feel you or your child is in danger, you have been threatened, struck, sexually abused, or your spouse refuses to leave your home, call the police. Provide them with images, videos, photos, and journal entries to establish what is going on and for how long. If there are witnesses, name them and provide contact information.  

Although a prosecutor can proceed with a domestic violence case without a victim’s cooperation, it rarely happens because it is so difficult. Follow through, file the reports, and cooperate with the police and prosecution. If your ex sees criminal charges result from their words and actions, they should come to their senses. 

We can help you file a protection from abuse order. Through the order, you may gain temporary custody of your kids, which will require your ex to stay away from you wherever you are. 

Compassionate Advocacy From Lawyers Who Care 

If your ex is abusing, stalking, or physically assaulting you, we can help. Call our office at (215) 515-5172, book an appointment online, or fill out our contact form today. We can meet in our office or speak with you by phone. 

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How Do I Get a Protection From Abuse Order?

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If you are in a relationship that is unsafe, it is critical to remove yourself and your children and immediately get to safety. Here in Bucks and Montgomery Counties of PA, we have many resources available to assist you. Physical and psychological abuse can have serious long-term consequences on your life. Our attorneys want to make sure you have the legal protection you need.  

How do I get a restraining order in Bucks and Montgomery Counties?  

A Protection From Abuse (PFA) Order, commonly called a restraining order, is a court order that raises the legal stakes for your abuser. Once obtained, if the person contacts you, comes to your home, place of work, or within a certain distance of you, he or she risks arrest and criminal penalties. If you need a PFA or feel you’ve been wrongly accused of abuse and are the subject of a PFA, Karen Ann Ulmer can help.

What’s the Process to Get a Protection From Abuse Order?

A PFA can be sought by:

  • Anyone 18 or older, and
  • A teen or a child accompanied by a parent, an adult household member, or a guardian ad litem

You (the plaintiff or petitioner) can start the process to obtain a temporary PFA  at a police station or courthouse depending on the time and day. As the plaintiff, you can fill out a petition. You will need to:

  • Explain why you need protection 
  • Describe the abuse you’ve suffered
  • State what protection you seek

A judge will consider your petition and may have additional questions for you at a hearing. The judge will either grant you a temporary PFA or deny your request. If it’s granted, a final hearing will be scheduled within ten business days. 

This temporary PFA provides you legal protection through the date of the final hearing. The county sheriff’s office will serve copies of the petition, the order, and a notice of the final hearing on the accused abuser (the defendant).

The PFA can make it illegal for the person to contact, harass, or abuse you or your children. It could order the abuser to move out of your home, return your personal property, and grant you temporary custody of your children.  Additionally, your abuser may be required to surrender all weapons including guns and ammunition.  

What Role Does a Judge Play in the Process?

You and the defendant will have an opportunity to come before the judge at the final hearing. Both can tell their sides of the story and have legal representation. If you and the defendant agree on the terms of an order, the judge will review it and may make it official, with or without changes. 

Without an agreement, the judge decides what to do based on the testimony and evidence presented at the hearing. The plaintiff must show he or she fears serious and imminent harm. There must be evidence showing a recent violent incident, prior violence, or firearm ownership for a court to issue the order. The judge can deny the petition or create a final PFA, which could last for up to three years.

Where Does a PFA Apply?

The Protection from Abuse Order is valid everywhere in Pennsylvania, in every state, and on tribal lands. Protection orders from other parts of the US are also valid in Pennsylvania due to federal law. Defendants’ names are put into a law enforcement database, making it easier for police to check if you have a protection order and whether the defendant is violating it. If you travel or move, have a copy of the order with you to help prove your status. 

Compassionate Advocacy From Lawyers Who Care

Everyone should feel safe and secure in their own homes. If you or someone you know feels threatened, contact us immediately. If you are a defendant in a PFA case, schedule an appointment to discuss the situation, how Pennsylvania law may apply in your case, and how we can help. Learn more by calling our office at (215)515-5172, booking an appointment online, or by filling out our contact form. We can meet in our office or speak with you by phone.

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FAQs on escaping an abusive marriage

Victims of domestic abuse may need help from others to get a divorce. It can also help to create an escape plan and seek a protective order.

For countless people in Pennsylvania and elsewhere, marriage is a nightmare that they may feel they can never escape. Tragically, domestic violence affects millions of men, women and children every year. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in three women and one in four men will be abused by an intimate partner at some point during their lives. The problem is so serious, in fact, that 15 percent of all violent crimes are committed by abusers against their partners. The following questions address some that abuse victims are likely to ask when preparing to end a marriage.

IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ALWAYS PHYSICAL?
In many cases, an abuser physically strikes or otherwise causes bodily harm to his or her victim. However, domestic abuse may be emotional, psychological, sexual or financial. Abusers often resort to threats and manipulation to maintain control over their victims. They may restrict their partners from seeing their family members or friends; prevent them from having access to the phone, Internet or the car; and not allow them to work or have any money. Non-violent abusive relationships do not always escalate to physical violence, but often they do.

HOW CAN I ESCAPE AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE?
It is rarely easy to escape an abusive relationship; this is why it is important to create an escape plan. The National Domestic Violence Hotline suggests implementing the following type of plan:

• Enlisting the help of trusted loved ones

• Keeping emergency cash, clothing and documents in a safe place that the abuser does not know about

• Documenting evidence of physical injuries and keeping a journal of the abuser’s behavior

• Memorizing the phone numbers and addresses of abuse shelters and law enforcement offices

It may also be a good idea at this point to seek a protection order.

WHAT IS A PROTECTIVE ORDER AND HOW DOES IT WORK?
A family law court can issue a protective order to abuse victims that extends certain legal protections. While the order is in effect, the abuser will not be allowed to approach or contact the victims. This may give the victim time to get to a safe place and to begin divorce proceedings. Protective orders are not initially permanent. Both sides will be given the chance to tell their side in court, and a judge can then decide if additional protection is necessary.

You are likely to need professional assistance to leave an abusive marriage. This may include help from law enforcement and abuse counselors. A Pennsylvania family law attorney with experience in domestic violence cases can also be an invaluable ally. Your attorney may be able to help you obtain a protective order, as well as start you on the road to freedom from abuse.

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How Family Adoption Works

Victims of domestic abuse may need help from others to get a divorce. It can also help to create an escape plan and seek a protective order.

For countless people in Pennsylvania and elsewhere, marriage is a nightmare that they may feel they can never escape. Tragically, domestic violence affects millions of men, women and children every year. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in three women and one in four men will be abused by an intimate partner at some point during their lives. The problem is so serious, in fact, that 15 percent of all violent crimes are committed by abusers against their partners. The following questions address some that abuse victims are likely to ask when preparing to end a marriage.

IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ALWAYS PHYSICAL?
In many cases, an abuser physically strikes or otherwise causes bodily harm to his or her victim. However, domestic abuse may be emotional, psychological, sexual or financial. Abusers often resort to threats and manipulation to maintain control over their victims. They may restrict their partners from seeing their family members or friends; prevent them from having access to the phone, Internet or the car; and not allow them to work or have any money. Non-violent abusive relationships do not always escalate to physical violence, but often they do.

HOW CAN I ESCAPE AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE?
It is rarely easy to escape an abusive relationship; this is why it is important to create an escape plan. The National Domestic Violence Hotline suggests implementing the following type of plan:

• Enlisting the help of trusted loved ones

• Keeping emergency cash, clothing and documents in a safe place that the abuser does not know about

• Documenting evidence of physical injuries and keeping a journal of the abuser’s behavior

• Memorizing the phone numbers and addresses of abuse shelters and law enforcement offices

It may also be a good idea at this point to seek a protection order.

WHAT IS A PROTECTIVE ORDER AND HOW DOES IT WORK?
A family law court can issue a protective order to abuse victims that extends certain legal protections. While the order is in effect, the abuser will not be allowed to approach or contact the victims. This may give the victim time to get to a safe place and to begin divorce proceedings. Protective orders are not initially permanent. Both sides will be given the chance to tell their side in court, and a judge can then decide if additional protection is necessary.

You are likely to need professional assistance to leave an abusive marriage. This may include help from law enforcement and abuse counselors. A Pennsylvania family law attorney with experience in domestic violence cases can also be an invaluable ally. Your attorney may be able to help you obtain a protective order, as well as start you on the road to freedom from abuse.

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FAQs on escaping an abusive marriage

Victims of domestic abuse may need help from others to get a divorce. It can also help to create an escape plan and seek a protective order.

For countless people in Pennsylvania and elsewhere, marriage is a nightmare that they may feel they can never escape. Tragically, domestic violence affects millions of men, women and children every year. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in three women and one in four men will be abused by an intimate partner at some point during their lives. The problem is so serious, in fact, that 15 percent of all violent crimes are committed by abusers against their partners. The following questions address some that abuse victims are likely to ask when preparing to end a marriage.

IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ALWAYS PHYSICAL?
In many cases, an abuser physically strikes or otherwise causes bodily harm to his or her victim. However, domestic abuse may be emotional, psychological, sexual or financial. Abusers often resort to threats and manipulation to maintain control over their victims. They may restrict their partners from seeing their family members or friends; prevent them from having access to the phone, Internet or the car; and not allow them to work or have any money. Non-violent abusive relationships do not always escalate to physical violence, but often they do.

HOW CAN I ESCAPE AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE?
It is rarely easy to escape an abusive relationship; this is why it is important to create an escape plan. The National Domestic Violence Hotline suggests implementing the following type of plan:

• Enlisting the help of trusted loved ones

• Keeping emergency cash, clothing and documents in a safe place that the abuser does not know about

• Documenting evidence of physical injuries and keeping a journal of the abuser’s behavior

• Memorizing the phone numbers and addresses of abuse shelters and law enforcement offices

It may also be a good idea at this point to seek a protection order.

WHAT IS A PROTECTIVE ORDER AND HOW DOES IT WORK?
A family law court can issue a protective order to abuse victims that extends certain legal protections. While the order is in effect, the abuser will not be allowed to approach or contact the victims. This may give the victim time to get to a safe place and to begin divorce proceedings. Protective orders are not initially permanent. Both sides will be given the chance to tell their side in court, and a judge can then decide if additional protection is necessary.

You are likely to need professional assistance to leave an abusive marriage. This may include help from law enforcement and abuse counselors. A Pennsylvania family law attorney with experience in domestic violence cases can also be an invaluable ally. Your attorney may be able to help you obtain a protective order, as well as start you on the road to freedom from abuse.

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Custody and Domestic Violence

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Emotions run high in any child custody discussion.  When you are fighting with your soon-to-be-ex, in person or through your attorneys, that arguing adds extra pressure to the process.  When violence and abuse are already present in the relationship, there is added urgency along with a fear of you or your children being victimized.  

 

Whether you are negotiating parenting time and a custody schedule for the first time or you think an existing schedule should be reviewed, it is very important for you to tell your attorney about any abuse.  As divorce and family attorneys, we have helped many families through these situations.

First and foremost, if your spouse is abusing you and/or your children, it is critical that you get yourself to safety and follow the protocols of the Bucks and Montgomery County Protection from Abuse (PFA) procedures.

Next, an experienced attorney can help you unravel the tangle of domestic violence as it relates to your custody case.  To be clear, just because you say you are being abused does not mean the judge is going to grant you full custody or take away the other parent’s rights.  While protection and safety are of primary concern, there needs to be documented proof of abuse.  This is where an experienced attorney can help you.  

Documentation is a very important part of any abuse case and should include as much detail as you can by date.  Remember to not only include details about any physical abuse, but also emotional abuse as well.  You will need to find a safe place to store your documentation and sometimes the best place is out of your home and away from where your spouse may find it.  Sometimes your computer or phone can be safe.  We can help you put the right system in place.  Record incidents of physical abuse with a doctor (including pictures) and even with a therapist or social worker.  As you document, also make sure to tell at least one trusted confidant what is happening; this can be a friend or family member.  This level of documentation is critical so that you have a trail of proof should it ever be needed.  

As mentioned above, your safety is of utmost importance and stopping the abuse is the goal.  When your emotions run high, working through the legal process can seem tedious and a waste of time.  However, all custody issues in Montgomery and Bucks County, PA need to be resolved following a legal procedure and we can help you work through it quickly to obtain the best possible resolution.  

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