After going through a divorce, friends and family routinely ask if you’re “relieved” that the process is over. You might smile and nod, wanting to be agreeable. However, the truth for many people is that “divorce grief” is real and very present for a long time after the fact.
This is your reminder: it’s perfectly normal to feel emotions similar to mourning and loss after your divorce becomes final.
Read on to learn more about healing from a divorce and how it may look for you.
Why You May Feel Grief After Divorce
Even though you may feel initial relief at ending a stressful marriage, sadness often turns into grief soon after signing the paperwork. First and foremost, understand that strong feelings are normal. After all, you’ve lost something in the divorce.
Almost nobody marries with the expectation of divorcing years later. Some common feelings people contemplate at this time include:
- Losing the hopes and dreams you had for your marriage together
- Recognizing your life with your spouse is forever altered
- Being fearful of the future
- Worrying about losing time with your children.
During this period of divorce grief, some ex-spouses may even regret divorcing. All these feelings are normal and part of the process of moving on.
What Triggers “Divorce Grief?”
When you are grieving, a sudden swell of emotions can catch you off guard. You might walk past a restaurant you both loved in happier times and feel overwhelming sadness. You might see your spouse enjoying time with the children and feel a great sense of loss.
Even something as simple as sorting and keeping divorce papers can spark feelings of grief, so keep track of these triggers. Friends or family can support you as you meet tough situations and work through hard feelings.
How Long Does the Grief Last After a Divorce?
According to Psychology Today, the grieving process after your divorce lacks a specific timeline. Everyone reacts differently, from a few weeks of grieving to several months or years after the breakup. Being honest with yourself about your emotions is a key step in moving forward, so give yourself time to process all your emotions, including grief.
One of the ways to move forward is creating new memories and experiences, whether it’s trying a new restaurant or volunteering your time at a new organization. Friends and family naturally will check on you and support you in the first few weeks after a divorce. Don’t let them drift away if you need more help processing your grief – ask for help and support for as long as you need it!
Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Supports You Legally and Emotionally in Your Divorce
It’s important to realize that your emotional recovery is important after the separation and divorce. It requires an adjustment on your part to move forward with your life. The stress of the divorce process needs time to work through and settle.
Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help legally during your divorce proceedings and chat with you about dealing with “divorce grief” constructively. Call us today for a confidential consultation at (866) 349-4461.
