Tag Archive for: PA divorce

What Do You Do If You Don’t Want a Divorce?

Divorce may feel like a last resort, something you want to avoid at all costs. Just because your spouse seems to have their mind made up doesn’t mean you have followed suit. You may still be hanging on to the last threads of your marriage and hoping to reach a resolution. This is often a gut-wrenching situation. 

If your spouse has already filed with the courts here in Bucks or Montgomery Counties, you must obey all deadlines. It is time to hire an attorney to go over the initial paperwork with you and prepare you for the next steps. 

Understanding what to do if you don’t want a divorce starts with knowing what you are legally required to do. Then, you can explore your options and start to move forward. 

Can You Refuse a Divorce? 

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These are the five stages of grief and the stages many divorcees go through when approaching this process. You may initially be in denial and wonder whether you can simply refuse the action or pretend it doesn’t exist. 

If your spouse has legally initiated the divorce, there is immediacy in following deadlines. However, keep in mind that your divorce will take some time. By law, Pennsylvania has a 90-day mandatory cooling-off period for divorce. After filing, you and your spouse must wait at least 90 days to finalize the process. This gives you time to reconsider the decision and negotiate any issues, like child support or property division. 

Pennsylvania follows no-fault divorce laws, meaning a spouse can choose to end their marriage without assigning blame or proving fault. While you cannot refuse this legal action, you maintain the right to contest a divorce if you disagree with the terms and want the court to intervene. 

What To Do If You Don’t Want a Divorce and Your Spouse Does

If you don’t want a divorce, now may be a good time to sit down with your spouse and determine whether they are open to reconsidering. Would they be willing to try anything to make your marriage work? Or are they already checked out? 

A few options you can present to them are:

  • Divorce counseling and mediation: Counseling can work wonders for healing a marriage. If you are going through a contentious divorce, you may even need to complete court-mandated marriage counseling. A mediator could also help you and your spouse reach a compromise. 
  • Legal separation: You and your spouse can live separately without officially ending your marriage. Perhaps your spouse is open to delaying divorce proceedings and instead living separately to start. 

If your partner isn’t open to any of these, it’s time to work on acceptance. This doesn’t need to be a fast process. Take it a day at a time, and start moving forward. 

Seek Guidance From Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Your life isn’t over just because you are going through a separation. You have a world of opportunities ahead of you, and you may look back and realize that this step was for the better in the long run. 

At Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., we would be happy to advise you on what you can do if you don’t want a divorce. Contact us today at (866) 309-3307 for a legal consultation.

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How Do You Protect Your Money and Your Financial Future During a Divorce?

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Going through a Bucks County divorce may feel like you are completely upending your life. If you are a stay-at-home parent or a low-income-earning spouse, or you simply rely on your partner for financial support, the thought of separating may feel immensely scary. 

How do you protect your money during a divorce? How will you financially recover? Strategic planning with the help of the right divorce attorney can allow you to navigate this process as smoothly as possible. 

What Will Happen to Your Money in a Divorce? 

Before you can start protecting your money, you need to understand what is at stake. In Pennsylvania, the court distinguishes between marital vs. non-marital property. Marital property includes anything you or your spouse acquired during the marriage or any assets that increased in value during this time.

Marital property is subject to an equitable distribution of assets, meaning the court would attempt to divide these items fairly between you. If you have any prenuptial or postnuptial agreements in place, these may play into the distribution process. Asset protection trusts can also prevent certain accounts from being divided. 

Tips To Protect Your Money as a Low-Income-Earning Spouse or Stay-at-Home Parent 

If you are a low-income-earner, the court will take this into account when determining what assets and funds to leave you with in the divorce. Still, you may have trouble moving forward independently. The following tips can help you protect your money during divorce and plan your financial future:

  • Build financial independence: Start looking for ways to build income and untangle your finances from your spouse’s.
  • Start investigating employment that includes healthcare: If you were previously a stay-at-home parent, you’ll likely need to gain some form of employment now. A job that includes healthcare can make up for your loss of access to your spouse’s benefits. 
  • Gain a clear sense of your financial situation: Examine your shared bank accounts, investments, and other assets and estimate that you may receive around half of these in the divorce. 
  • Begin working on your post-divorce budget: With your anticipated income in mind, create a budget where you set aside 50% of your earnings to needs, 30% to wants, and 20% to investment. This will help you estimate how much you can afford on expenses like housing, groceries, bills, and a vehicle. 
  • Talk to your mortgage broker: You may want to keep the family home, especially if your kids will live primarily with you. But be sure to talk to your mortgage broker about whether this is financially sustainable with one income. 
  • Avoid pre-paying bills with shared money: While it is tempting, don’t take income from your shared accounts to pre-pay bills or buy items in bulk. This could lead to issues with hidden assets and forensic accounting. 

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., is here to help you protect your money during a divorce. We can explain the tax implications of divorce settlements, advise on strategic practices to build financial independence, and protect your right to equitable distribution. Contact us today at (866) 309-3307 for a general consultation. 

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Prenups and Alimony: What You Need To Know

More Americans are open to signing prenuptial agreements than ever before.

A 2023 Harris Poll revealed a surprising statistic: About half of adults would consider signing prenups if their partners asked.

Will you and your soon-to-be spouse sign one? Before you enter into an agreement, learn about some key factors pertaining to prenups and alimony here.

Featuring Alimony Provisions in Prenups

Technically, couples on the verge of marriage don’t have to include alimony provisions in their prenups. They can sign spousal support waivers that rule out the possibility of alimony if the couple divorces.

However, it is almost always a bad idea to do this. Even if you’re in a fantastic financial position right now, you can never know whether that will still be the case in the future.

You might decide to quit a well-paying job to become a stay-at-home parent. Or, your spouse may work their way up the ranks to become the CEO in a decade.

In these cases, you and/or your spouse might wish you had created a prenup that included alimony. Do it from the beginning to avoid regretting not doing it later.

Considering the Right Factors When Including Alimony Provisions in Prenups

Couples should not simply include standard alimony provisions in prenups. They should put serious thought into prenups and alimony and generate provisions customized for their relationships.

As you and your significant other put together a prenup, keep these factors in mind:

  • Your income and any income disparity that exists
  • Your current lifestyle, as well as any lifestyle changes you may see on the horizon
  • Your state law requirements regarding prenups

A prenup isn’t designed to put either spouse in poverty in the event of a divorce. Instead, it’s a tool couples can use to ensure they’re both still able to meet their financial obligations if they choose to go their separate ways.

Ensuring Prenups and Alimony Provisions Are Enforceable

Prenuptial agreement enforceability is another factor that should weigh heavily on your mind when creating a prenup. Make sure you create a legally binding document with assistance from an attorney with extensive experience developing prenups.

This lawyer can help cover all your bases while creating a prenup with alimony provisions. They can also explain other aspects outside of alimony provisions, such as marital property rights.

Contact Our Law Firm To Begin Piecing Together a Prenuptial Agreement

At Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., we firmly believe prenups and alimony should go hand in hand. If you’re planning a wedding and open to piecing together a prenup, we would love to help you do it.

We can make the premarital agreement process more manageable and ensure your prenup is enforceable should you need to rely on it in divorce court. We can also clarify any confusion about prenups by discussing their purpose further and addressing pressing questions and concerns.

Call us at (866) 311-6082 today to speak with a trusted attorney.

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File First or Negotiate First?

After coming to terms with a divorce, the next part of the process is the negotiation stage. You may find yourself preparing mentally by asking questions as you try to determine a proper course of action. One critical part of this process is the initial filing. If you’re wondering, “Should I file or negotiate first?” you’re not alone. This question looms over many divorcees as they anticipate how the process will play out. Considering the psychological and legal ramifications will help you understand the advantages of filing first. 

You’ve Reached an Agreement, Now What?

If you’ve reached an agreement with your spouse, congratulations. You’ve arrived at the first step of the divorce process: filing the divorce petition. So, should you file or negotiate first? There are myriad psychological benefits to consider. The planning stages provide you with a strong foundation to move forward with purpose. You may also experience an immediate surge of confidence when you file first. Taking this huge step in your divorce proceedings is liberating and can strengthen your resolve. 

The phrase, “strike while the iron’s hot,” rings true when considering the benefits of filing first. This decision is an important part of your strategy, allowing you to take matters into your own hands and proceed with fortitude and determination. In this case, your opponent is your spouse, and like a good game of chess, catching them off guard will only serve to your advantage. After all, you’ve already prepped with careful planning, making certain your financial and other legal concerns are in order. You’ve likely spoken with a qualified alimony attorney to help you understand the mediation process. Throughout your divorce proceedings, your attorney will help you properly negotiate to your benefit, giving you an even greater edge.

The next consideration for whether or not you should file first is thinking about the opportunity it will give you to fortify your assets. You and your partner’s shared assets must be legally separated, including all physical assets and joint personal finances. In this instance, seeking legal advice ahead of the filing will help you protect yourself and adequately set you up financially for life after divorce. 

Why You Should Consider Filing First

Now that you’ve pondered, “Should I file or negotiate first?” the decision depends on your unique situation. Preparing for this critical step by conferring with legal counsel will help you navigate the timing, present you with options, and prepare you for your next stage in life. When you take the step to file first, you’re making a power move. By taking control of the process before your spouse does, you may secure benefits that you might not gain otherwise.

Book a Consultation Today

A consultation with Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you protect your rights and determine an appropriate course of action if you’re questioning whether you should file or negotiate first. Our team of family practice attorneys serves Pennsylvania and New Jersey. We’re dedicated to providing solutions to our clients. Book your free consultation today, or contact us at (866) 349-4117.

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Seeking Revenge Through the Divorce Process Can Be Costly

People go through a variety of big emotions during the divorce process. Although anger is a common emotion, it shouldn’t solely drive your reasons for seeking divorce.

Are you angrily filing for divorce right now to seek revenge? Read on to learn why that approach may end up being costly for you.

Harming Your Chance of a Fair Financial Settlement

If you are filing for divorce to gain revenge on your spouse, will it affect your financial settlement? Almost certainly, yes.

Pennsylvania divorce laws don’t specifically call for penalties against a spouse engaging in spiteful behavior. However, a judge could treat your claims for alimony with more scrutiny if revenge is in focus. When letting anger guide your actions, someone might choose to fight every suggestion for mediation a spouse makes, and while it’s their right to use litigation to try to receive a fair settlement, it wastes everybody’s valuable time.

You may believe you’re harming your spouse by refusing to participate in mediation. In reality, you’re harming your own position more. Typically, participating in mediation goes faster and costs you less in legal fees in the long run.

Costing You More Than Just Money

If you have children and mutual friends, trying to gain revenge on a spouse through the divorce process can be extremely stressful for these other parties. They may feel like they’re stuck in the middle of a tug-of-war that makes little sense from the outside. When you have clouded judgment because you’re focused on revenge, you may not be able to see: 

  • How you’re affecting your children’s well-being
  • How you’re manipulating your children or loved ones without even realizing it

Some friends will be able to see through the actions you’re taking if you are focusing on revenge. What if they side with your spouse when you are clearly being spiteful and unfair during the divorce proceedings?

We’re only human. If you are going through the divorce proceedings with anger and revenge as your primary driving factors, you may also lose control of your emotions more easily. With the temptation to do almost anything to avenge your failed relationship, ethical behavior may feel like a gray area – and that’s always risky in the divorce process.

If a judge learns that you are lying about your spouse’s actions, you could open yourself up to legal problems and lawsuits. It’s best to sit back and let your divorce attorney do the talking.

Let Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Help You Navigate the Divorce Process Calmly

Did your spouse cheat on you, lie to your face, or betray your trust in some way? You have every right to be angry, but using revenge as your reason for filing for divorce doesn’t help your case in court.

Take a deep breath, and have a confidential discussion with Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., before you file for divorce. It’s important to go through your divorce process for the right reasons. To learn more about affording a divorce or what to expect, call (866) 349-4117 today.

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Follow Your Divorce Decree to the Letter

Your divorce decree exists for a reason. It provides tangible evidence of the terms your spouse agreed to in the divorce. 

You may be tempted to give your spouse wiggle room when it comes to alimony payments, child support, or asset distribution. However, straying from the divorce decree may only hurt your financial outcomes and encourage more shady behavior from your spouse moving forward. 

Is a Divorce Decree Legally Binding? 

Your divorce decree is the legal document that marks the end of your marriage. It also spells out important details about child custody, spousal support, asset division, and visitation guidelines. 

Divorce decrees aren’t mere suggestions for how to behave after a divorce; they are legally binding. Your ex-spouse is required to follow these rules to a T. If you start giving them leeway now, they will only continue taking advantage of you. Worse, the court will assume that you were okay with their behavior, harming your ability to file a motion for contempt of court in the future.  

Once your divorce is finalized, go to the family court clerk’s office and request a certified copy of your divorce decree. Keep it on hand and ensure your spouse’s adherence to every term. 

Enforce the Elements of Your Divorce Decree Precisely

Ensure that your ex-spouse follows all of these aspects of your final judgment closely:

  • Sends alimony and/or child support payments on time according to the timeline in the decree
  • Adheres to all custody times precisely
  • Divides assets in accordance with the decree
  • Sells the house promptly

What If Your Spouse Refuses To Follow This Court Order? 

Your ex-spouse cannot simply refuse to follow the terms of your divorce decree. If they disagree with any of these terms, they will need to request a modification with the court. This is a legal process. 

If you do not agree with their modification request, they will need to present their reasoning in court and allow a judge to decide whether to grant it. Unless your ex-spouse’s requests are reasonable, the judge probably won’t grant their wishes.

Should your ex-spouse violate the divorce decree and not seek a modification, you can file a motion for contempt of court or request an enforcement action. This prompts the court to assess their actions and intervene. If your ex-spouse is found in contempt of court, the court can: 

  • Impose fines
  • Issue a warning
  • Create a new order that makes up for their non-compliance
  • Order your ex-spouse to comply by paying the support they owe, plus attorney’s fees
  • Impose jail time

Your first step should be to have your attorney contact your ex-spouse’s attorney and warn them about your intention to file for contempt of court. 

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., for Divorce Assistance 

Do you need help enforcing your divorce decree? Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., offers compassionate legal support throughout the divorce process. We can help you file a motion for contempt of court or request an enforcement action to prompt your ex-spouse to adhere to your divorce decree. 

Contact us today at (866) 349-4117 for a confidential consultation. 

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Stress of Divorce

Fewer things in life are more stressful than going through a divorce. Who will end up with the house? What’s going to happen to your kids? The stress of divorce, and its many unknowns, really can feel like it’s eating you alive.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Below, find must-follow tips for managing stress throughout your divorce.

Follow the Boy Scout Motto and Be Prepared

What would happen if you were called into a work meeting, but hadn’t prepared any notes or talking points? You’d be pretty stressed, right? The same principle applies to your divorce.

You never want to go into a divorce unprepared. To be forewarned, as they say, is to be forearmed.

Stress reduction starts with preparing yourself for what’s going to come. The more you know what to expect, the more at ease you’re going to feel. That means you’re less likely to make rash decisions that could torpedo your divorce case.

This is why it’s so important to hire a good divorce attorney. Your lawyer can tell you what to expect in divorce negotiations regarding child custody arrangements, alimony, and property division.

Keep Your Organization Game on Point

The divorce process involves plenty of paperwork to fill out and deadlines to remember. It may be unpleasant, but if you want your divorce to go smoothly, you’ll need to treat organization like a full-time job.

Start by gathering important financial documents, such as bank statements, savings account information, retirement account details, and paystubs. Your lawyer will want to take a look at these to determine the fair division of property between you and your ex-spouse. If you have insurance policies (such as life insurance), make copies of those documents, too.

To stay organized, buy a binder and sort documents into categories, such as financial and legal. You can also scan documents and store them in the cloud or on your computer for quick access.

Take Care of Your Mental Health

The stress of divorce can be truly overwhelming and the emotional burden can be difficult to bear. Between talks with your ex and meetings with your lawyer, you might feel like there’s hardly any time to focus on yourself.

However, you won’t do yourself any favors by neglecting your mental health. Find moments where you can relax, breathe, and quiet your racing thoughts. It can help to keep a journal and talk to a therapist about how you’re feeling. And if you have a good friend, now’s the time to rely on them.

Having an excellent lawyer is a wonderful way to manage stress during divorce. Your lawyer will help by:

  • Providing solid advice to help you avoid legal mistakes that could jeopardize your financial stability
  • Handling paperwork so you don’t miss deadlines
  • Guiding you through divorce negotiations and ensuring a fair deal for you

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. deeply understands the stress of divorce and will work hard to make the process as smooth as can be for all involved. To schedule your consultation, call (215) 752-6200.

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Child Custody and Religious Upbringing

Religion is a contested topic in many divorces, specifically when there are minor children in the picture. When a custody dispute involves religion, the judges in Bucks County, PA will always put the child’s interest first.

Who decides on matters of religious upbringing in child custody agreements? How do you approach balancing religious beliefs in co-parenting? Let’s talk about religion and how it impacts child custody. 

Can My Spouse Stop Me From Raising My Kids in My Faith?

Religious freedom is a constitutional right; generally, a parent’s religion won’t sway courts when deciding on custody arrangements. However, there may be exceptions if a parent’s religious practices cause direct harm to a child.

If Bob, who is Christian, divorces Karen, who is Jewish, he probably won’t be able to stop Karen from taking the kids to the synagogue on the High Holy Days. Similarly, Karen can’t stop Bob from attending Christmas service with the children while they spend the holidays with him. 

However, courts will also consider the status quo beyond child custody and freedom of religion. For example, if Bob and Karen’s children previously attended Hebrew school, Bob probably wouldn’t be able to pull them out after the divorce if Karen wants them to remain enrolled.

In discussing religion and how it impacts child custody, it’s important to distinguish between physical and legal custody. Parents typically share legal custody equally, regardless of who has the larger share of physical custody.

Thus, even if the children spend more time with one parent, the other parent has an equal say in the children’s religious upbringing. However, if one parent has sole legal custody, they’ll be responsible for all the major decisions in raising the child, including religious education. 

Don’t Weaponize Religion 

Whatever you do, never use religion to undermine your co-parent or alienate your children from them. You should always show your children that you respect their other parent’s religious beliefs.

For example, it isn’t acceptable to engage in emotional blackmail to pressure a child into religious practices (“I won’t consider you my child anymore if you refuse to go to church with me”). Comments like “Your mom is going to hell because she walked out of our faith” are also extremely hurtful and traumatizing for children.

Make a Parenting Plan

Respecting religious differences in child custody cases makes life much easier for both sides. We encourage you to sit down with your co-parent and negotiate a parenting plan that suits everyone, especially for sensitive times like holidays. A professional mediator can help bridge your differences if you can’t work out a plan on your own.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.: Helping You Navigate Custody and Parenting Plans in PA and NJ

Are you unsure about how your child custody arrangement will impact the religious upbringing of your children? Contact our law firm for reliable counsel on protecting your rights in divorce. We can also help you reduce stress and conflict by collaborative mediation for religious disputes in child custody.  

Call us at (866) 349-4907 or book a consultation online.

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Co-parenting and Dangerous Parenting

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Co-parenting after splitting up can be challenging, even when both sides are well-meaning and cooperative. It’s a lot more difficult to navigate co-parenting when there are signs of dangerous parenting on the side of your ex-partner. 

Courts will always prioritize well-being while protecting children from high-conflict co-parenting. Consider the following when creating a safety plan for co-parenting with a risky ex.

What If You’re Concerned for Your Child’s Safety When They’re With Your Ex?

As a rule, family law courts believe it’s in the child’s best interests to spend time with both parents. However, some signs might tell you that your ex is unsafe for your kids.

Certain things your children do or say after spending time with the other parent could make you believe it’s dangerous for them to stay with your ex unsupervised. In this scenario, stay vigilant and consult a custody lawyer who knows how to navigate co-parenting and dangerous parenting.

Red Flags of Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

If your child comes back from their other parent with bruises or other signs of physical harm or tells you that your ex has abused them, you’ll want to take immediate action. However, not all abuse is obvious, especially if your child is too young to describe what happened.

Neglect and lack of supervision are also a form of abuse. For example, maybe your child often returns underfed or dirty from your ex’s house, or you discover that your ex neglects to ensure they take their prescription medications. You may also suspect your co-parent lets your child engage in risky or age-inappropriate activities without supervision. 

Finally, you may feel concerned about your ex-partner’s unaddressed problem of alcohol or substance abuse in the context of co-parenting.

You Must Still Obey Court Orders

While courts focus on prioritizing child safety in co-parenting plans, they expect you to comply with the proper procedures and present solid proof of your co-parent’s risky behavior. 

A seasoned lawyer can help you look into legal options for limiting contact with a dangerous parent. However, you can’t simply withhold parenting time based on suspicion. You could get into serious trouble, and the court may reduce your parenting time.

Document Each Incident of Potentially Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

Did your child tell you their other parent pushed, shoved, or slapped them? Write it down and date it. Did your ex-partner send you a text message or voicemail admitting they let the children stay outside until late unsupervised, despite your insistence to the contrary? Save this message.

Keep a personal record of all your ex-partner’s actions that are abusive or could potentially endanger your kids. Then, consult a family lawyer for reliable advice on keeping your children safe.

Dealing With an Unsafe Co-Parent? Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Do you believe your ex is an unsafe co-parent? The skilled divorce and custody lawyers of Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you handle co-parenting and dangerous parenting, including co-parenting with a narcissist or abusive ex. Call us at (866) 349-4907 or schedule a consultation online.

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A Brief Guide To Appealing Your Divorce

Imagine this scenario: A judge has ruled on your divorce, and you are unhappy with the decision. Is there anything you can do?

In some situations, you may be able to seek a more favorable judgment that allows you to modify the judge’s original decision regarding child custody or support, property distribution, alimony, and debt arrangements.

This article explores the various grounds for divorce appeal and recommendations for challenging unfair divorce settlement findings.

When You Can Appeal Your Divorce

There’s no question that contesting divorce decree provisions is not easy, and you must have a compelling reason to do so. It’s not enough to simply say that you disagree with the judge, or that you feel the outcome is “unfair.”

Instead, you need to have proper grounds for filing an appeal. There are a few ways you can do this. One of the most common rationales for overturned divorce settlements on appeal is that there was some kind of mistake made.

Examples of mistakes include the judge misinterpreting the law, not correctly applying the legal standards, or making an error regarding the facts. 

Other potential grounds for appealing your divorce could be a showing that there was a lack of evidence to support the judge’s findings or there was another problem with the evidence that impacted the judge’s ability to rule fairly. This often comes down to the judge abusing their discretion and making an unreasonable final decision.

Even if you can demonstrate one or more of the above flaws in the case, there is still a final obstacle to overcome before your case can even be heard. You will have to be able to show that whatever the mistake or flaw was, it would have materially affected the outcome of your case.

How To File a Divorce Appeal in Bucks County

Once you have identified the proper grounds for a divorce appeal, the legal process of overturning the initial judgment and seeking a new one comes next.

The first step in this process is filing a Notice of Appeal, which ultimately informs your former spouse that you intend to appeal the judge’s decision. From there, your attorney will prepare the “Record,” which includes the transcripts and documents from the initial proceeding.

Upon completion of this step, your attorney will file an appellate brief that outlines all of your legal arguments. After being assigned a court date, you’ll be able to present your arguments about the grounds for the appeal and the relevant evidence to support your case.

Finally comes the waiting part of the appeals process. This can take several days, and the court may affirm or reverse the trial court’s decision. It’s also possible that the judgment may be modified or the case could be remanded back to the trial court with further instructions.

Contact an Experienced Appellate Lawyer for Divorce Cases

While the goal is to stay out of court so you and your spouse can make all the decisions, sometimes an appeal is necessary. For more information or to begin the appeal process, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at 866-349-4907 for an initial consultation.

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