One of the toughest aspects of divorce is sharing your kids with your ex. You may not like your ex, and they might not care for you, but both of you love your kids. How can you make sure your children have a happy relationship with their other parent if the two of you struggle to even make eye contact?
Developing flexible problem-solving skills with your ex is a challenge, but one well worth overcoming. Below, you’ll find tips to guide you on the path to co-parenting success.
Helping Your Child Adjust to Their New Life
Divorce may feel like a breath of fresh air for you, but for your kids, it can be extremely upsetting. Suddenly, they’re splitting time between two homes and two sets of parents. In addition to that, maybe they have new siblings and a new school. It’s a lot to take in for little ones.
To help your kids adjust, work with your ex-spouse to establish consistent routines. Children thrive with a set schedule for meals, homework, playtime, and bedtime. Ask your ex to maintain your child’s schedule when it’s their time with the kids.
Encourage Open Communication Between Your Ex and Kids
Many parents try to keep their kids away from their exes as a way to hurt them. No matter how much you dislike your ex, though, you should never use your children as a weapon. Not only does this hurt your child’s well-being, but courts tend to frown on those who keep children away from the other parent.
Encourage your kids and ex-spouse to talk to each other regularly, whether that’s through phone calls, emails, or in-person meetings. If anything important comes up in your child’s life (health updates, school events, etc.), be sure to share them with your ex. You may not like doing it, but it’s a cornerstone of co-parenting success.
Be a Person of Your Word
It’s your ex-spouse’s week to have the kids, and maybe you’re tempted to show up late to the dropoff just to spite them. Doing that might feel good in the moment, but it only places stress on the kids and damages your relationship with your ex.
If you say you’re going to be somewhere at a certain time, keep your word. Your ex will be more likely to do the same for you.
Don’t Like How Your Ex-Spouse Parents? Keep It to Yourself
Maybe your kids come home excitedly chatting about that treat Daddy fed them or the toy Mom bought as a surprise. You think your ex is spoiling them rotten, and you don’t like it. But if you want to maintain successful boundaries, you’d be smart not to say a word.
Ex-spouses shouldn’t judge each other’s parenting styles. All that does is create hostility and confuse the kids. It’s wiser to just stay silent and maintain respectful boundaries (unless, of course, your ex’s parenting style places your children in danger).
We’ll Help You Create a Positive Co-Parenting Dynamic
Achieving co-parenting success is a big challenge, but the attorneys at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. will help you overcome it. For a consultation, call us at (215) 752-6200.
