Tag Archive for: vacation

Your First Vacation as a Single Parent

After vacationing for some time as a family, it can be hard to adjust to your first trip as a solo parent. Even if you are happy to be free from your spouse, doing everything yourself and not having another adult around can be hard. Your children may be asking why mommy or daddy did not join you all on the trip and the guilt of your failed marriage may be weighing on you for their sake.

Yes, this can all happen on your first vacation as a single parent. As we process your divorce many adjustments to your new life will need to be made. When bringing the children on vacation for the first time you can employ these strategies to help you through:

Travel with Friends – having other adults around can really help you through your first trip. You will have adult companionship and also have another set of hands to help with your children. If you want to take some alone time you also have an adult who can step in and watch your kids for a few hours. Finding the right adults to travel with now can be a bit difficult – it may be awkward to travel with family and friends who you have traveled with before when you were a couple, so finding the right people to help you through this time may be tricky. You could ask a friend who is divorced with children to come along with you as a group .

Make it all about your kids: When you have younger children most vacations are all about them – they need and want your attention anyway to explore and play. Focusing on your children having fun is a great diversion. Planning an adventure around their interests or even just making sure each day has activities focused around them can pass the time and bring you back to the most important aspect of your life – your kids.

Take a few minutes for yourself: If you have a bit of extra budget and some babysitting support, take a trip to the hotel spa. Other options include a long walk on the beach or reading a book undisturbed poolside. Whatever you like to do take a few minutes for yourself – after all, this is your vacation as well!

Most importantly, remember it is all part of the adjustment. The first trip may be lonely or an amazing experience for you. You may love the new pack formed with just you and your children or you may miss your spouse terribly. However the trip evolves for you remember it is all a time of transition and part of stepping into your new life as a single parent.

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Holiday & Vacation Time in Custody

In the midst of the holiday season, it may become necessary to consider where children will spend the holidays if they have separated or divorcing parents. A holiday schedule can be included as part of a custody order. Frequently seen provisions include alternating holidays so that one party has even years the other has odds or splitting the holidays so that each party has a certain time allotted on the holiday itself. Ultimately, it is up to the parents and/or guardians in any given case to make a schedule that works best for them. It may be a schedule where the parties will always have the same holidays every year and won’t alternate or share. In some instances, a custody order may state that holidays will be shared as mutually agreed upon by the parties without the need to lay out specifics. There may be unique family traditions that don’t occur on the actual holiday that a party will want the kids to be involved in.

Another scenario to consider is if one party likes to travel during the holiday season and therefore intends to schedule a vacation during that time. Holiday and vacation time will generally supercede the regular custody schedule, however, be sure any custody order makes clear whether the holiday schedule or vacation provision takes top priority. As a practical matter, parties should try to be as civil and cooperative as possible when discussing holiday time. The holidays can be an especially difficult time for families that are going through separation and divorce and everyone involved will benefit from a process that is as amicable as possible.

Click here to read more on custody.

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