Negotiating With a Difficult Spouse

A crucial benefit of retaining us for your divorce is that we will deal with your difficult spouse (or their attorney) so you will not have to. You will make important decisions on your goals and objectives and what you are willing to sacrifice to reach them. But we will work to get you the best resolution possible, given your situation. 

Your spouse may have been difficult during your marriage or become an irritation machine as the relationship ends. You may be used to negotiating during your relationship, but this can turn far uglier during a divorce. 

Stay Above the Fray 

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. attorneys are used to tough negotiations. We have seen all the head games, power plays, distractions, and problems created to invent obstacles. Divorces can be highly emotional, and your spouse may be furious at you and the situation.  

That can play out during negotiations. Some spouses use settlement talks to try to settle scores and cause as much grief as possible. Our attorneys will deal with this and reduce its impact on you as much as we can. 

Negotiations Should Not Be a Battle of Wills 

It is normal for a party in any negotiation to use leverage to get a favorable agreement. What sets destructive negotiations apart is when one party goes to extremes to create or use that leverage to get what they want.  

Keep calm and think straight while your spouse tries to stockpile issues to hold over you. Settling a divorce should be considered a business transaction. The two of you are trading things, so you are both in a good position after the marriage ends.  

Facts and the legal issues that arise from them fuel the divorce process. We need to document your family’s debts and assets thoroughly. If your spouse owns a business, it may be used to hide assets to prevent some of them from going to you or your children. 

We may discover evidence that your spouse can not try to spin to their advantage. Facts may create a basis for legal claims that could give you leverage. As a result, your obstinate spouse may realize the cards they are holding are not nearly as good as they think. 

Pick Your Battles and Be Smart About Negotiations  

We will discuss with you what you will need after your divorce. You may achieve these non-negotiable issues because you are willing to sacrifice (or at least be flexible about) other matters. For example, you may be willing to give up claims on some assets or spousal support because you want the family house.  

Ultimately you will need to decide the outcome of complex negotiations. If your spouse makes a stink about inconsequential things, it may be best to give in. But you will also have lines that you are unwilling to cross.  

That is entirely reasonable, as long as what you are willing to go to battle for is critical to starting your life over. Do not become like your spouse – drawing uncrossable lines to create conflict and chaos to weaken and frustrate the other spouse in a battle of attrition. 

If Spouses Can Not End Their Marriage, a Judge Can Do It for Them 

Very few divorce cases go to trial. They are expensive, time-consuming, and emotional, and may force you to spend energy you would rather use on other parts of your life. But they are often the result of one or both spouses being unwilling to reasonably and sensibly negotiate a resolution to their differences.  

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., if you have questions about divorce or believe you will need legal assistance with one. Call us at (866) 311-4783 or complete our online contact form today.