How a Child with Special Needs Can Impact Your Divorce

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You love your child and want the best for them. Your marriage may end, but you are still a parent. You need to navigate the divorce process so you start a new life in the best possible position and ensure that your child’s needs are met, too. 

You Are Not Alone 

Parents with special needs children are more likely to get divorced than other married couples, according to Psychology Today. It is estimated that: 

  • 20% of US homes have a child with a disability, special health care needs, or a chronic illness  
  • The divorce rate of married parents with a child with disabilities might reach 87% 
  • The divorce rate for those with a child who has autism is about 80% 

The challenges and disagreements that can arise when parenting a special needs child may be the reason for a divorce or just one of many that pushed the relationship over the edge. 

Things to Think About 

When you are trying to plan your post-marriage life, think about: 

  • Your child’s needs, whether they are functional, medical, psychological, educational, or social 
  • What will meeting those needs cost in time, effort, and money 
  • Who will absorb those costs, and how 

You may need the help of a life care specialist to come up with answers. If you and your spouse disagree about your child’s needs and care, an outside third party without a personal bias may help bring the two of you together on these issues. 

Child Custody 

Whether your child has special needs or not, decisions about which parent should have what kind of custody should be guided by your child’s best interests. The judge in your case is bound by law to use that standard. If the two of you agree on custody issues, the judge will ensure your plan meets that standard. If you cannot agree and the matter is litigated, that is how the judge will make a decision. 

What is your situation? 

  • With whom will the child live? 
  • How much time will they have with each parent? 
  • How stable will each parent’s household be? 
  • Are both parents up to the task of caring for the child equally?  
  • Is one in a better position to provide care most of the time? 
  • If one parent is unwilling or unable to handle the child’s needs, is the other equipped to be the exclusive caregiver? 
  • How involved will the extended families of each parent be in helping with your child? Will one be alone, while the other will benefit from family members playing active, supporting roles? 

If you have another child without special needs, what custody arrangement is best for them? 

Child Support 

The state’s child support formula does not account for the additional financial burdens of parenting a child with special needs, including specialized care, equipment, enhanced nutrition, or accessible housing. But a judge may order a non-custodial parent to pay more than the guideline indicates if the circumstances call for it. 

Typically, the obligation to pay child support ends when the child reaches the age of majority (18) or graduates from college. But if a child with special needs requires caregiving for an extended period, if not the foreseeable future, that may be extended.  

Depending on the extent of a child’s disabilities, they may qualify for government benefits (including paying for custodial and medical care), help in finding employment, and independent living. The parents must do their best to get as much help as possible for as long as possible.  

The parent receiving child support should not expect the payor to pick up the tab for services that may be free or at a reduced cost, thanks to government or charitable programs. 

Get the Help You Need from an Attorney You Can Trust   

If you are thinking about getting divorced or have decided it is the next step, call us at (215) 608-1867. We can discuss your situation over the phone, via a teleconference, or meet in our Langhorne or Doylestown office.   

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If You Plan to Marry, and One or Both of You Own a Business, a Prenuptial Agreement Makes Sense

A properly drafted, enforceable prenuptial agreement may greatly reduce, if not prevent, disputes concerning the equitable distribution of marital property if a married couple divorces. Making such an agreement before you marry is not a sign your marriage is doomed. It only means you are smart and preparing for a life-changing event that may or may not happen, especially if one or both of you own a company. 

If you own a business, do not have a prenup, and the business grows, your spouse would be entitled to half of that growth upon your divorce. You could be forced to give up other assets, pay your spouse over time, or, in the worst-case scenario, close the business. However, a well-crafted prenup can protect you and your business.  

What Is Equitable Distribution? 

Part of the divorce process is the equitable division of marital property. The couple’s assets and debts are organized, and their values are estimated. The parties must decide which are separate or personal and belong to the individual and which are marital (normally property acquired during the marriage) and belong to the couple, or a court will do it for them. 

Marital property is subject to fair or equitable division during a divorce. The increased value of separate property could also be divided depending on the circumstances. The parties can agree to this, or it will be resolved at a trial. 

What Is a Prenuptial Agreement? 

What is a prenup? A prenuptial or antenuptial agreement is a contract entered into before marriage. The parties can agree on which assets and debts are personal and which are marital and identify them accordingly. The agreement should include how marital assets and debts will be divided, possibly preventing disputes during a potential divorce.  

Why Is a Prenuptial Agreement a Good Idea? 

Just creating the document can be beneficial. The two of you need to think about your financial lives and assets and your duties and rights during and after your marriage. These agreements may be particularly helpful if one or both parties have significant assets before the marriage, a well-paying job, or a business. One or both parties may feel more at ease if they know what will happen financially if the marriage ends in divorce, and the outcome will be fair and mutually agreed upon. 

If one or both spouses start a business during the marriage and it is not mentioned in the agreement, who ends up owning what can be determined by a contract made during the marriage (a postnuptial agreement), by amending the prenup, through negotiations during a divorce, or at a trial. The issue can also be part of a business ownership agreement covering what will happen if you divorce. 

What Effect Does Business Ownership Have on Equitable Distribution Without a Prenuptial Agreement? 

Consider what would happen if a marriage ends in divorce and one or both spouses own a business but there is no ownership, prenuptial, or postnuptial agreement. One spouse could argue it would be fair and equitable that they should get part ownership (if they do not already have it) and make the case for how much that should be (whether they own part or not.) The outcome would depend on how actively the spouse aided the business and what sacrifices they made so it could be a success, including contributing personal funds, working for the company, or sacrificing their career to help it. 

The fate of family-owned businesses can be a highly charged divorce issue. A prenuptial or other type of agreement would spell out how this would be handled and should prevent these types of conflicts from erupting. 

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., Can Help You With a Prenuptial Agreement 

Contact us if you have questions about a prenuptial agreement, want one created, or think you are being forced to sign one. For a confidential discussion with a Doylestown premarital agreements attorney at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., call (215) 752-6200 or email us. We can meet in our Doylestown or Langhorne office or speak with you by phone.

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Deeds, Mortgages, and Your Divorce

Retaining the family home was a divorce priority, and after all the dust settles, it is yours. Now what? You must do the paperwork and make the necessary financial arrangements to make this a reality. 

How Does the Paperwork Work? 

If both spouses own the house, one can transfer their interest to the other through a quitclaim deed, but it comes “under and subject” to existing encumbrances and liens.  Most home purchases are subject to a promissory note payable to the lender providing the mortgage. The promissory note creates the obligation to repay the loan you used to buy your home. The mortgage makes the home security or collateral for the loan. 

The promissory note is considered a “joint and several obligation,” so the borrowers agree the lender may pursue either or both spouses if the repayments are not current.  Unless this issue is addressed, if your spouse signs over their interest in the house but the promissory note is still in effect, they may be liable for mortgage payments for a home for which they have no ownership interest. 

Typically, a property settlement agreement states the spouse with the house will “indemnify and hold the other spouse harmless” from the promissory note’s obligations. But, the lender is not bound by or a party to the agreement. If the lender seeks money from your ex, they could sue you for breach of the divorce agreement because you agreed to indemnify them. But if you lack the money to pay the mortgage, you probably lack the resources. 

How Will Refinancing the Mortgage Help? 

One way to prevent this from happening is to refinance the house. It ends the mortgage you and your ex signed and substitutes a new one in your name. The promissory note used to buy the house is canceled, and the mortgage is officially satisfied. You get a clear title, a loan to pay what is left, and a promissory note and mortgage in your name. 

 If you cannot make the payments, your ex is not responsible because the old promissory note is no longer an issue, and the current one only applies to you. 

However, refinancing may be difficult if you lack a good credit history and a regular income. Each lender has its own rules covering to whom they will lend and the amount. This can vary also with the type of loan. An FHA mortgage will probably have lower lending standards but will cost more than a non-FHA loan.   

If you have not started already, work with a mortgage lender or broker even if the divorce settlement is not final.  Establish child and spousal support payment histories so the lender will view them as income sources to help pay the debt. Try to improve your credit score so it is at a level a mortgage underwriter will want to see. It is much better to prevent the problem of being turned down for a refinance than to deal with it afterward. 

Get the Help You Need from an Attorney You Can Trust   

Whether you are thinking about divorce or you have decided it is the right step for you and your family, call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at (215) 608-1867. You can start a new chapter in your life, including owning a home yourself. We can discuss this over the phone, via a teleconference, or meet in our Doylestown or Langhorne office.   

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Post-Divorce Dates to Abide By

Obtaining your final divorce order signed by a judge is a big moment, but there is still more to do. You will need to deal with several issues to finally put the process behind you. There are many pieces of “clean-up” to take care of before you can wash your hands of the matter. 

What Dates Do I Need to Worry About? 

Your divorce judgment requires you to take several actions and meet specific deadlines. You may need to:  

  • Sell or refinance your home 
  • Transfer car titles and property deeds 
  • Divide bank, investment, and retirement savings accounts 
  • Get or give back personal property 

Take another look at your divorce agreement and order. What actions must you and your ex perform, and what deadlines or time frames are spelled out? Create a checklist of what you and your spouse must do and when. You will be better prepared to get things done on time and be aware of what your ex may be failing to do. 

What Happens if Deadlines Are Missed? 

Missing a deadline may cost you legal remedies to which you otherwise are entitled. You do not want to be in front of the judge again, explaining how disorganized you are or, worse, stating why you should not be held in contempt of a court order. 

Your ex probably has deadlines, too. We can discuss them and what might happen if one or both of you fail to meet them. For example, your spouse may have a given time frame to retrieve personal property from the former marital home. If they do not, the order may allow you to keep, throw away, or sell the items. 

Other issues are more serious. An ex-spouse could be held in contempt for failing to comply with the court order’s terms. The other party could ask the court to enforce the judgment. If found in contempt, an ex would be ordered to comply, may need to pay a fine, and, if the situation is severe enough, spend time in jail. 

What Is the Right Response to Missed Deadlines? 

Both parties should prioritize compliance, and there must be good faith efforts to comply. But sometimes stuff happens, and someone becomes ill, bureaucracies are not responsive, there are issues at work, elderly parents may need help, and deadlines are missed.  

No matter which party is not getting things done, the issue is often whether someone is genuinely trying to get everything done on time or there is a conscious effort to refuse to do things or delay getting them done. If the process is dragging on or a party is hostile, it may be time to get the court involved. 

Get the Help You Need From an Attorney You Can Trust   

If you are considering getting divorced, have decided it is the right step, or are facing challenges after your divorce was finalized, call us at (215) 608-1867. We can discuss your questions and what is going on over the phone, via a teleconference, or meet in our Doylestown or Langhorne office.   

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