He’s Making Me Sign a Prenup

Prenuptial agreements have a bad reputation. Most people imagine that a prenup is only for a wealthy spouse to protect their assets in the event of divorce. And who wants to go into a marriage planning to divorce?   

Many also wonder who would ever want to marry someone who plans to “hold out” on the other spouse?

These are reasonable concerns, and if they are present in a relationship, those people should probably not get married. But that’s not what a properly-written prenuptial agreement is about.

A premarital or prenuptial agreement (prenup) is a written contract between two engaged people that outlines their financial rights and obligations. While a prenup frequently involves at least one wealthy spouse, that is not always the case. A prenup can also be written between non-wealthy individuals to define future expectations, not only around finances but also around other issues important to the couple.  

In reality, a well-written prenup is a great tool that can be used to strengthen your relationship. Prenups put in writing the couple’s loving wishes and desires for each other at the start of their marriage. A prenup can clarify what expectations both of you have for future ownership of property, inheritance, child and spousal support, rights of the estate upon death, care of pets and property, and more. The best time to write all this down is when you are deeply in love and hopeful for the future. When life gets tough, your prenup might even help you to look back and remember, “Oh, yes, we did love each other THAT much.” This can be a comforting reminder on the road of life.

Challenges with prenups

A prenup can be stressful, however, if you feel forced into it by your fiancé or your fiancé’s family. If your betrothed comes from money, their family may demand a prenup, without discussion, whether your future spouse likes it or not.

You may be told by your soon-to-be spouse, “Oh, don’t worry, I will always take care of you.” But this could be problematic if you are going to have children and reduce your work schedule or be a stay-at-home parent.

You need a legal team on your side to help craft the prenup to protect your interests. You must be treated fairly—end of story. A prenup can be well-crafted to provide for your needs as well as those of your spouse and any future children. It must not be a sore spot in your upcoming marriage, and if you both feel comfortable about the protections the two of you and your future children are getting through the agreement, it will strengthen your relationship.

Be sure to meet with your legal team personally and define what you hope to gain from the prenup. Items to consider may include:

• Defining which assets are marital and which are individual assets
• Ensuring the liabilities that one spouse brings into the marriage remain personal liabilities (loans, liens, alimony or child support from a former marriage, etc.)
• Defining care and financial benefits for any children from a previous marriage
• Guaranteeing a certain standard of living for the lower-earning spouse or non-wealthy spouse and any children, in the case of divorce or death of the wealthier spouse
• How expected future inheritances should be treated (marital or individual), and how they should be shared by the other spouse and any children
• Spousal responsibilities and expectations (who will handle certain important duties within marriage)
• If one spouse owns a business, determining what portion of that business value also belongs to the non-owning spouse

Seek help from the team at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.

If your future spouse has already had a prenup drawn up, do not sign anything without our team reviewing it. Your interests must be protected. The prenuptial agreement must also be consistent with the law of the state in which you are getting married. Anything inconsistent with those laws is invalid. We will discuss the draft agreement and send our requested revisions to the other attorney, leading to negotiations.

If the prenup has not yet been written, come to us so that we can discuss your situation and your expectations for the future, ensuring that your rights and interests are represented in the final agreement. If you’re planning a Pennsylvania or New Jersey wedding and need a prenuptial agreement, request a confidential consultation today by calling (866) 349-4721.