By Marsha Kline Pruett
Parenting plans are about each parent’s desire for access to his or her children and an opportunity to be involved in the activities and responsibilities of parenting. The plans are all about time – how much and when.
By Marsha Kline Pruett
Parenting plans are about each parent’s desire for access to his or her children and an opportunity to be involved in the activities and responsibilities of parenting. The plans are all about time – how much and when.
By Philip M. Stahl
If your parents are getting a divorce, you probably have many questions about how your life will change.
Source: Family Advocate, Vol. 33
Over the past couple of decades, we have become increasingly aware that children benefit from having both parents involved in their lives.
By Leslie Ellen Shear
Parents who are considering moving with their children after separation or divorce, and parents deciding whether to oppose the children’s move have a lot to think about.
Parents must discuss many difficult topics when going through a divorce. The most difficult of these often revolves around visitation rights and child custody because most parents desire to see their kids as much as possible following a divorce.
Parents frequently agree to joint custody plans, but occasionally one parent might file for sole custody to be a child’s primary caregiver. Deciding who a child will live with and who will be responsible for him or her can have a lifelong impact. The importance of this decision is why courts frequently intervene to determine what living conditions and visitation plans are in a child’s best interests.
Other Important Relationships
Children begin developing relationships with their immediate family at a very early age. They bond with their siblings and rely upon their parents for food, clothes and shelter. However, other important relationships can be cultivated as well, especially when a child develops a close bond with his or her grandparents.
Many grandparents are unaware that they may petition a court for visitation rights or custody of their grandchild. According to the Pennsylvania Custody and Grandparents’ Visitation Act, grandparents may petition a court for partial custody and visitation under specific circumstances:
In each of these instances, a court will try to determine what situation will be best for the child and what will best serve the child for his or her future. Before a court will award visitation or custody, however, many factors are taken into account including:
Seeking Visitation or Custody
It is important to present your custody or visitation case in a way that shows a court you have the best interests of the child in mind. As a result, it can be helpful discuss your situation with an experienced grandparents’ rights attorney who can help develop persuasive arguments on your behalf.
A parent who has joint or sole custody of a child may be able to move after attaining permission from the other parent or a judge. Learn more about parental relocation approval
When determining custody arrangements in Pennsylvania, judges must hold to the standard of “best interests of the child.” Recognizing that children develop best when they have positive relationships with both father and mother, judges do not award sole custody without very strong evidence that this is best for the child.
Sole physical custody means the child lives with one parent only, although usually the other parent will have visitation rights. Sole legal custody means that one parent has complete authority to make decisions in the best interests of the child.
If you want to receive sole custody in PA, the burden is upon you to prove that it would be detrimental to the welfare of your child to live with your ex, even part-time. You will do best to discuss this with an experienced family lawyer to help you develop your case and avoid common mistakes.
Reasons for sole custody
The court will look at all factors impacting a child’s welfare: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, psychological, and moral. The judge may also consider the child’s preference, the custody of siblings, relationships with extended family, and the primary caregiver prior to the separation.
Some considerations you may need to demonstrate to the judge:
Keeping records and taking action
You will need documentation and witnesses to support your claims. There are legal and illegal ways of obtaining evidence, so it’s important to talk to an expert to help you do this.
When you feel you have a case, you will need to file a complaint in the court of the county where the child resides and complete other paperwork required by that county. Your ex will then need to be served the papers. This means he or she will have to physically take the papers in hand. With an uncooperative ex, it is sometimes necessary to call on an expert who knows how to hand deliver papers and get your ex to take them. After this, a conciliator may try to get both parents to work out an arrangement. If this does not lead to an agreement between parents, you may request a trial before a judge.
How we can help
While this is probably your first time attempting to gain sole custody, here at Ulmer Law, we have handled this situation many times. We know all these steps intimately and can help you build a case for sole custody that has a greater chance of success than if you were to do this on your own. We know the law, and we know when to bring in experts to help you. Contact us today to start building your case for sole custody.
Parents cannot eradicate the upheaval and upset their divorce may cause their kids, but there are things they can do to help them cope.
The Pennsylvania Department of Health reports that 33,749 couples across the state got divorced or had their marriages annulled in 2016 alone. While the breakup of a marriage may be trying for the adults involved, divorce may be particularly upsetting for the children. Although parents cannot completely alleviate the upset that the end of their marriage may cause their children, there are things they can do to help them adjust to this type of major life change.
Allow children their reactions
Not all children react in the same way or in the same timeframe to the news that their parents are getting divorced. Some may initially express feelings of anger or sadness, while others may seem ambivalent and instead only show concern for how the split will affect their day-to-day lives. This may include asking who they will live with, whether they will have to change schools and how the parenting-time schedule will work. It is important that parents reassure their kids that their feelings are normal, and encourage them to share their emotions as openly as possible.
Consistency, consistency, consistency
Their parents’ marriage coming to an end may make some children feel as though their worlds have been turned upside down. While they may not be aware of it themselves, this may cause them to crave and need structure even more than normal. As such, it is suggested that parents try to maintain their children’s routines as much as possible during and after a divorce. Additionally, they should attempt to keep the same rules in both parents’ homes and stick to them. Relaxing the rules or completely altering kids’ schedules may lead to insecurities, and inhibit, rather than support, their coping and adjustment to the changes.
Keep the kids out of adult matters
As parents work through the issues that must be settled during a divorce, it may lead to adult discussions or arguments. While this is to be expected, it may cause problems for children’s adjustment if it takes place in front of them. Thus, parents are advised to talk about difficult matters, like child support or alimony, over the phone or when their kids are not around. Further, it is recommended that people refrain from talking badly about their exes in front of their children, asking their kids for information about their other parents or otherwise using their children against their former spouses.
Ask for help
Given time and the support they need, many children rebound from their parents’ divorce and move forward. In some cases, however, kids may need additional help dealing with their feelings and the changes. Should children show signs of distress or seem to otherwise be struggling to cope, parents may consider using the services of a professional, such as their kids’ pediatrician or a counselor. It may also be helpful for people to clue their children’s teachers in to what is going on so that they can aid in monitoring how they are adjusting.
Without contention or complications, Pennsylvania divorces may be challenging enough for families to get through and move on from. However, when the process is drawn out, it may be even more traumatizing for those involved and cause lasting fractures within the family. Therefore, those who are considering a divorce or whose spouses have already filed may find it of benefit to consult with an attorney. A lawyer may not only explain their options and the legal process, but also aid them in negotiating and resolving their cases.
Divorce is hard on everyone, but it can be particularly difficult for the children. Young children especially have a difficult time understanding what is going on during divorce and may even feel as if they did something wrong. It is also hard for parents to get used to being away from their children sometimes. In many cases, there will be times when the children will be spending time, maybe even weeks or months, with the other parent. This is why it is important for parents to understand how custody laws work and what their options are. Generally, Pennsylvania law governs child custody and visitation when Pennsylvania is the child’s home state.
How is custody decided in Pennsylvania?
There are two main types of custody in Pennsylvania. Legal custody refers to the authority to make major decisions for the child including religious, educational and medical decisions. Physical custody refers to where the children will actually live. State law also allows for partial custody, which means the right to have the child reside with the noncustodial parent away from the custodial parent for a specific period of time.
Custody may be shared, meaning that both parents have legal or physical custody of the child. This will allow the child to have continuing contact with both parents. If parents do not have shared custody, the other parent may have visitation rights. If a parent has visitation rights, that parent has the right to visit the child but not necessarily the right to take the child from the control of the custodial parent.
To determine how custody is awarded, the court will look at the best interests of the child. The parents may come to an agreement themselves, but the court will always look at the best interests of the child before approving the agreement. The best interests of the child include such things as the physical and mental fitness of the parents, insofar as they affect the child, the ability to allow the child to continue to maintain a relationship with the other parent’s extended family, the preference of the child if the child is mature enough, opportunities for visitation and whether there is a history of abandonment or domestic violence. The court will look at each family as the individual unit that it is.
Can custody be modified?
Custody orders can be modified, but the court must be presented with evidence as to why the order should be modified. The parent wishing to modify the order must prove to the court why it has to be modified. The court generally favors stability for the child, and the parent must show that there is something in the home environment that negatively affects the child’s wellbeing. There must be a substantial change in circumstances and the best interests of the child that should require a change in custody.
Anyone dealing with child custody issues in Pennsylvania should contact an experienced family law attorney. These issues are hard to deal with on one’s own, and the resolutions of the issues are of utmost importance. An attorney can help parents dealing with child custody matters achieve their goals.
Your children will benefit from a healthy relationship with both their father and their mother after divorce, so to co-parent effectively, remember the three C’s: Cooperation, Communication, and Consistency
Cooperation
Remember, it’s all about what’s best for your children. As adults, you have to put their needs before your own hurts and grudges, however real they may be. As long as one of them is not abusive, your children need to have a healthy relationship with both parents.
You will need to make some important decisions about who will be the parent liaison to doctors, educators, coaches, etc. Will communications from these institutions go to one parent or both? Who will pay for insurance, education, and extra-curricular activities? Will both parents attend school and sport events, parent/teacher meetings, and doctor appointments?
Determine a schedule of custody that takes into consideration school, holidays, and special events. How will the child be transported between homes? What degree of flexibility is there when “life” happens and schedules or plans need to be changed?
Communication
Communication and cooperation work hand in hand. You must have a well-structured communication plan in order to cooperate in the raising of your children. Depending on your relationship, you may have to keep it short and business-like, but you should still be civil. If possible, over time, work towards a friendly relationship, since you’re two people who love the same children and want what’s best for them.
Always share important information, milestones, and pictures with your ex. Some divorced parents find it useful to have a shared online calendar with their children’s schedules, notes from school, and other data loaded, so both parents have access.
If you have concerns about any of your children, it’s very important to communicate this, so you’re both aware and can both work on it. This will not only help with the issue, but will show the children that their parents are united with regard to their well-being, which will have a positive emotional effect on them.
Consistency
This unity should be displayed through consistency in other areas as well. Both homes should have consistent rules of conduct and behavior. It’s likely you will disagree on particulars, but children need stability for their best development.
You may find it easier to agree on certain essentials if each parent is permitted leeway in the specifics. While one parent might say 9:00pm bedtime on weekdays and the other says 10:00pm, the big picture message being communicated is, “You need a good night’s sleep to do well in school.” Chores may differ from house to house, but both parents should teach their children responsibility by giving them chores. Rules about manners, foul language, and other issues of courtesy should be obeyed in both homes.
One last word on attitude
Never complain about the other parent, and as much as possible, help the children respect your co-parent. If he or she has personality flaws, it’s best to let the children discover them on their own – within the realm of safety – to avoid unreasonable fantasies or inaccurate beliefs about the other parent that will make your role more difficult.
Make it clear to your children that the divorce is not their fault. They may need to hear this multiple times, but make sure they feel loved and secure, and they will grow into strong and healthy adults.
Contact our office by calling 215-752-6200, book online now, or contact us by email. We can meet you in our office or speak with you by phone.