Holiday Schedules

As the holiday season approaches it is a good time to figure out where children will spend the holidays if you are separated or divorced. A good custody order will include a holiday schedule. Frequently seen provisions include alternating holidays so that one parent has a holiday in even years while the other parent has it in odd years. Another option is splitting the holidays so that each party has a certain time allotted on the holiday itself. This works best if the parties are in close proximity to each other to minimize travel time on the holiday. There could be a holiday schedule which provides for the parties to always have the same holidays every year. In some instances, a custody order may simply state that holidays will be shared as mutually agreed upon by the parties without specifics. This is only recommended if you have a good relationship with the other parent to avoid arguments or stressful last-minute negotiations.

Another consideration is if there are unique family traditions that don’t occur on the actual holiday, such as an annual party that the kids may want to be involved in. If one party usually travels during the holiday season this should be addressed when drafting a holiday schedule. Holiday and vacation time will generally supersede the regular custody schedule, however, be sure any custody order makes clear whether the holiday schedule or vacation provision takes top priority. As a practical matter, parties should try to be as civil and cooperative as possible when discussing holiday time. The holidays can be an especially difficult time for families that are going through separation and divorce and everyone involved will benefit from a process that is as amicable as possible.

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Jurisdiction for Custody

Pennsylvania abides by the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) in terms of determining where a custody case should be handled. The preferred method for establishing jurisdiction is based on the home state of the child. The homes state is defined as the state where the child had been living for at least six (6) months prior to the custody action or since birth if the child is less than six months old. If jurisdiction is not clear based on an analysis of the home state, the courts then look to see where there are significant connections and substantial evidence relevant to the custody action. Significant connections is more than just mere presence in any state.

Once a court obtains jurisdiction under one of guidelines above, that court continues to have exclusive jurisdiction until it is established that another court has become more suitable for jurisdiction. Accordingly, any modifications of custody must go through the court that made the initial or prior determination. If all parties and the child have moved from the jurisdiction where the initial custody order was established, there is a good chance the jurisdiction for the custody matter should change as well to the new home state of the child. There is an exception to the rules on jurisdiction in the event of an emergency. If a child is in danger and there is a need for immediate action, the jurisdiction where the child is located at that time can enter a temporary emergency order. The UCCJEA also provides a procedure for registration and enforcement of custody orders across state lines.

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Asking for Custody if you are not a Parent

Parties other than parents and grandparents may be able to file for custody. Section 5324 of the Pennsylvania Domestic Relations laws discusses who has standing to file for legal and physical custody. First, a person who stands in loco parentis may file for custody. In loco parentis status means you are acting as a parent even though there isn’t the biological connection. It has been defined as an assumption of parental status as well as an actual discharge of parental duties giving rise to a relationship which is the same as between a natural parent and child. This requires more than just a frequent care-taker role.

A grandparent may be able to file for legal and physical custody if their relationship with the child began with the consent of the parents and they are willing to assume responsibility for the child. In addition, one of three conditions must be met. First, the child has been adjudicated dependent. This happens through a legal proceeding. Second, it is established that the child is at risk due to parental abuse, neglect, drug or alcohol use. Finally, if the child had resided with the grandparent for at least a year and is subsequently removed from the home then the grandparent can file for custody within six (6) months from the removal date. Grandparents can also see partial physical custody of their grandchildren under Section 5325 if they are unable to meet the requirements for standing under Section 5324.

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Custody and Domestic Violence

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Emotions run high in any child custody discussion.  When you are fighting with your soon-to-be-ex, in person or through your attorneys, that arguing adds extra pressure to the process.  When violence and abuse are already present in the relationship, there is added urgency along with a fear of you or your children being victimized.  

 

Whether you are negotiating parenting time and a custody schedule for the first time or you think an existing schedule should be reviewed, it is very important for you to tell your attorney about any abuse.  As divorce and family attorneys, we have helped many families through these situations.

First and foremost, if your spouse is abusing you and/or your children, it is critical that you get yourself to safety and follow the protocols of the Bucks and Montgomery County Protection from Abuse (PFA) procedures.

Next, an experienced attorney can help you unravel the tangle of domestic violence as it relates to your custody case.  To be clear, just because you say you are being abused does not mean the judge is going to grant you full custody or take away the other parent’s rights.  While protection and safety are of primary concern, there needs to be documented proof of abuse.  This is where an experienced attorney can help you.  

Documentation is a very important part of any abuse case and should include as much detail as you can by date.  Remember to not only include details about any physical abuse, but also emotional abuse as well.  You will need to find a safe place to store your documentation and sometimes the best place is out of your home and away from where your spouse may find it.  Sometimes your computer or phone can be safe.  We can help you put the right system in place.  Record incidents of physical abuse with a doctor (including pictures) and even with a therapist or social worker.  As you document, also make sure to tell at least one trusted confidant what is happening; this can be a friend or family member.  This level of documentation is critical so that you have a trail of proof should it ever be needed.  

As mentioned above, your safety is of utmost importance and stopping the abuse is the goal.  When your emotions run high, working through the legal process can seem tedious and a waste of time.  However, all custody issues in Montgomery and Bucks County, PA need to be resolved following a legal procedure and we can help you work through it quickly to obtain the best possible resolution.  

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How to Change Your Custody Agreement/Parenting Time

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If you have children and are getting divorced, you will negotiate a parenting time schedule, typically called a custody agreement. This dictates the amount of time that each child will spend with each parent. It can include overnights, holidays, and special arrangements like pick-ups and birthdays. If you are divorcing with younger children, your schedule will more than likely need to be adjusted in the future to accommodate different schedules.  If you have already been divorced for a few years, you may be concerned that your custody agreement is no longer working. After all, your schedule, as well as the activity schedules of your children, have probably changed over time.  


First, as you move through your year, you may find that certain dates in the schedule need to be adjusted.  For instance, you may need to attend a work event or a wedding on a weekend when you are scheduled to have your children.  If your ex is agreeable, a simple email, phone call or text can handle these one-time changes. Sometimes, in contentious post-divorce relationships, parents feel they need to get an attorney involved in every single change.  This can ensure that there is a formal agreement to the change, but is usually not necessary.  


For more substantial changes to your custody agreement, you will want to make sure that the new plan is fair and, most importantly, includes a consultation and/or review with an attorney.  For instance, if you are taking on more nights with your children, you may be entitled to additional child support.  With more permanent changes, you should file with the court.  A handshake (or email) agreement is not enforceable all the time.  


If you have a more serious circumstance to consider, it is essential that you have legal guidance through the process.  If your ex does not show up for scheduled time and your children are continually disappointed, homework is not completed when the children are in your ex’s care, your ex suffers from alcoholism or drug abuse or is incarcerated, then the circumstances may be extreme and legal guidance is imperative.


Lastly, you may want to change your custody agreement but your ex may be opposed to doing so.  You may be changing jobs or moving or you may realize that your child’s new schedule needs to be accommodated in a different way.  If you and your ex do not get along, then you might need lawyers, or even the court, to handle the change.  If both parties do not agree…this will need to be negotiated.  You must be able to demonstrate that it is in the best interest of the child to amend the parenting time agreement.  


Regardless of the changes you need to make, your parenting time schedule can usually be adjusted.  It is critical to find a lawyer who is experienced in Bucks and/or Montgomery County who can walk you through child custody issues and any other changes that should be considered.  

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Your Teen and Your Divorce

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All children process divorce differently and your teen will be no different.  They may be relieved if you and your spouse were constantly fighting or unhappy that mom and dad are no longer together.  They may experience a variety of emotions that they are unsure how to handle.  

 

What should you watch out for when raising a teenager and navigating through your divorce?

Regardless of their feelings about your split, it will be important for you to keep a close eye out for the following:

  1. Don’t let them play off of mom and dad:  “Dad said I could do this,” “Mom said you should buy me new sneakers.”  “Mom said that she will pay half if you pay the other.”  Whatever the case may, be do not allow your child to tell you what the other parent is going to do.  Check in with each other.  

  2. Create stability for your children:  Children of all ages need to know their schedules, how things are changing, and that they have two homes with parents who love them.  If you are all going to move then make sure they understand how they will see the other parent, attend school, and see their friends.

  3. Watch carefully and put support around them:  Your children are going through a substantial transition and need many forms of support.  Make sure that their guidance counselors are aware of your divorce so they can talk with the children and recommend a therapist as necessary.

  4. Realize boys and girls are going to process your divorce differently.  If you have a teenage daughter and son make sure you address their concerns and realize that they may have completely different fears causing anxiety.

  5. Don’t badmouth your ex:  Your children have the right to be loved and supported by both parents throughout their childhood.  The divorce is going to be difficult enough, so make sure you do not say bad things about the other parent.

  6. Promote bonds with both parents:  continuing on from #5 – your teen needs both a mom and a dad so encourage him/her to enjoy their time with the other parent.

  7. Listen to complaints but be firm:  Your child may not like the fact that he/she needs to now move between two homes, live under two different sets of rules, and “go see mom who lives too far away from my friends.”  Listen to their frustrations, acknowledge their feelings, but be the adult as they adjust to their new normal.

  8. Help them manage their emotions:  Your teens are going to have to process a significant number of emotions including shock, anger, sadness and even embarrassment – and sometimes all at once.  Make sure they know you are available to listen.

  9. It isn’t their fault – so many children feel that their parents could have been happier if they had been a better child – maybe not gotten in so much trouble, earned better grades, or not have needed so much “stuff.”  If your marriage was going to last it could have survived all of that – and your child needs to hear that from you.

 

When a teen goes through a divorce, communication is the key.  They need to know they can come to you when problems arise but they are going to need to also understand that the parents are in charge.

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Changes to NJ Custody Relocation Laws

If you are seeking to move to a distance that makes your current custody schedule difficult or impossible to follow it classifies as a relocation. In the event of a move that does classify as a relocation the party looking to move should obtain the written consent of the other parent or court approval. Previously, New Jersey courts primarily focused on if there would be any harm to the child in allowing the move. In a recent decision (Bisbing v. Bisbing) the New Jersey courts have shifted their focus to considering if the move is in the child’s best interests. This standard puts the burden on the party looking to relocate to demonstrate how it benefits the child. It also allows for a better look at how the move affects both parents.

In the instant case, a mother has primary custody of the parties’ two daughters pursuant to their marital settlement agreement. Mother sought to relocate with the daughters to Utah and Father objected to the move. At the initial court proceeding, the court agreed that the move would not be to the children’s detriment. On appeal, the court held that a best interest analysis should be applied instead. This change in the standard for relocation will certainly have an impact on the number of successful relocation requests given it requires a more stringent analysis as to the effects on the children.

Click here to read more about custody.

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Hague Convention Implications

Enforcement of an international custody order is addressed by the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. Signatories to the Hague Convention are required to immediately return children if taken or retained in violation of a custody order. All countries who are parties to the Hague Convention must establish a “Central Authority.” This office is responsible for dealing with any Hague Convention violations. For children removed from the United States, a petition for return should be filed through the U.S. State Department, Office of Children’s Issues. From there, the petition is transmitted to the Central Authority for the other country involved and ultimately adjudicated there. It is important to begin the process as soon as a violation occurs for the best likelihood of having the child returned.

If you are contemplating a custody order with a party who lives out of the country or has significant connections to another country you may want to verify if that county is a signatory. This will be invaluable in the event there is an issue with the custody order while your child is abroad. You may want to consider if the country is a signatory even for vacation travel if you do not trust the other parent. A good custody order or agreement should dictate that written consent is required for travel outside of the United States so that you can have a say on where the child goes.

Click here to read more about custody.

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Changing School Districts?

Custody refers to both physical custody, which is the schedule parties follow, as well as legal custody, which is who makes important decisions for the child(ren). Often times parties will share legal custody meaning they need to communicate, and ideally agree, on major decisions impacting healthcare, religion and education. Which school district a child goes to is an example of an education decision that should be discussed in the context of shared legal custody. If the parties ultimately cannot agree on a school district, the court could intervene to make the final determination.

Moving to a different school district may also arise in the context of a custody relocation. Pennsylvania’s custody relocation statute, 23 PA C.S. 5337, requires the party seeking relocation to get court approval or the other parent’s permission prior to relocation. A relocation is defined as any move that would “significantly impair the ability of the non-relocating party to exercise custodial rights.” Prior to the relocation, the party seeking to move must give notice via certified mail to the other parent and said notice should include the proposed new school district.

Click here to read more about relocation.

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Limits on Grandparent Rights

Section 5325 of the Domestic Relations laws sets out the circumstances under which grandparents and great-grandparents may petition for partial custody/visitation. One of three conditions must be met: (1) a parent of the child is deceased; (2) the parents of the child have been separated for at least six months; or (3) the child has lived with the grandparents or great-grandparents for at least 12 consecutive months provided a petition is filed within six months after the child is removed from the home. However, in a 2016 decision, D.P. and B.P. v. G.J.P. and A.P., No. 25 WAP 2015, the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania for the Western District, held that Section 5325(2) intruded on the constitutional rights of the parents.

In the instance case the parents to three children had been married and subsequently separated, but did not institute divorce proceedings. The grandparents filed for partial custody under Section 5325, where the parents of the child have been separated for at least six months, after the parents mutually agreed to end contact with the grandparents. The court ultimately ruled that just because the parents were separated did not mean they could not still make sound decisions regarding their children. Parents have a fundamental interest in rearing their children as they see fit. Any law that seeks to impede on that natural right must pass the test of strict scrutiny, meaning the it must be “narrowly tailored to further a compelling government interest.” The court held that Section 5325(2) did not pass the strict scrutiny standard and hence the grandparents were not able to ask for custody. There has not yet been a change to the statute in response to this decision.

Click here to read more about grandparent rights.

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