Social Networking: Have Fun, Keep Current and Ruin Your Divorce Case

What happens on social networking sites stays in the public domain, which more and more divorcing couples are experiencing to their detriment. Evidence found on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter is increasingly used in family law courts. Judges take information gleaned from these sites as a factor in child custody decisions, alimony awards and property division.

Even dating sites, like Match.com have been used by Judges in deciding incomes for support purposes. If you think it is a good idea to inflate your income to look more attractive to prospective partners, you might want to reconsider doing that unless you are prepared to be held to that income for purposes of support. Remember, Judges have the power to decide credibility and if they don’t believe the income you present on paper and you are self-employed, they can and do hold you to a higher income, especially if you boast about how much you make on dating websites.

One ex-spouse’s claim that she could not work because of injuries sustained in a car accident was repudiated by her posts regarding her belly dancing activities, which prompted a New York Judge to deny her claim for spousal support. Parents seeking custody of their children can have their hopes crushed when posting photos online involving alcohol or drug use. Claims that one spouse cannot afford a certain level of alimony ring hollow when he or she “tweets” about buying a brand-new car or about vacations they are taking with others.

PRIVACY FEATURES MAY NOT MATTER
Many social networking sites have privacy features, but this does not always protect such information from being used in court. Judges are increasingly allowing access to online photos, posts and other information, even if protected or reserved for “friends,” by the opposing party in discovery (the legal process of obtaining evidence in a court case). In addition, many people unfamiliar with various privacy settings do not use those features, meaning anyone can access that information, including opposing attorneys.

TIPS FOR ONLINE POSTINGS DURING DIVORCE
Many experienced divorce lawyers urge their clients to practice caution when posting online, especially when in the middle of a contested divorce. While it can be tempting to vent online, negative posts about the ex-spouse or the divorce process, for example, can actually harm the poster. Generally, it is best simply to stay away from social networking sites altogether when going through divorce; if that seems too extreme, at least be aware that what is posted may very well end up in court. If inappropriate to say in front of a Judge, chances are posting it online isn’t a good idea either.

If you are facing divorce, contact a knowledgeable family law attorney who can advise you on property division, child custody and potential alimony.

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Unearthing hidden assets: Signs your spouse may not be honest

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Some people going through a divorce in New Jersey may attempt to hide assets to prevent a spouse from receiving them in the split.

Any divorce in New Jersey presents a myriad of decisions that must be made: perhaps it has to do with how property may be divided or who will have custody of the children. Though the details of each case may differ, there is one constant: each party should be honest in disclosing any information that would be pertinent to making these decisions.

In fact, New Jersey laws require parties to complete and submit a “family case information statement” within a timeframe set by the court. The statement details family information, employment and income.

When it comes to property division, having a complete picture of each spouse’s assets is critical to ensuring the equitable distribution of those assets. Unfortunately, some people attempt to obscure items in an effort to prevent the loss of them. Here are some signs that this may be occurring:

Large purchases

Cash tends to be king, as it has a concrete value and is easily divided. However, cash is easily spent. When one spouse starts making large purchases – such as with expensive artwork, cars or taking big trips – it may be in an effort to prevent the other spouse from getting that cash. In other words, the cash is being converted into physical assets – and the spouse could even attempt to underreport the actual value of those assets.

Another way to minimize the amount of cash available in a divorce is to overpay a credit card or other debt. Perhaps one spouse decides to start putting extra money into the house payment. Sometimes, people create “fake” debts, such as money owed to a friend, in order to “pay off” the debt so the person essentially holds on to the cash until the divorce is final. This should raise a red flag.

Questionable statements

It is always critical to monitor statements from credit card companies and investments. But what happens if those statements suddenly go missing? Or perhaps have unexpected transactions on them? It could indicate that a spouse is trying to keep his or her other half from accessing assets.

People going through a divorce should also keep an eye out for new statements from banks or credit card companies that may be new. While it is not illegal for someone to open a new account during this time, it is essential that they disclose that information during the divorce proceedings.

Underreported income

Even with the financial disclosure statement is submitted, both parties should thoroughly review it for accuracy. Some people may try to underreport what they make. Though a W-2 or other tax form could easily dispute this, it is not always as easy with people who are paid in cash.

Uncovering assets

Fortunately, with a little work, these hidden assets may be uncovered. Experts suggest hiring a forensic accountant or other specialist who can do a deep dive into a couple’s assets. This process may require providing names, addresses and Social Security numbers of family members.

Anyone who has concerns about this issue should speak with a family law attorney in New Jersey.

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Planning for Settlement Negotiations: The Big Picture

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Source: Family Advocate, Vol. 37, No.3

Good negotiators, like good lawyers, are prepared. They know where they are going and how to get there. As any successful lawyer will tell you, superior preparation can often spell the difference between winning and losing the case, especially in hard-fought, complicated cases.

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Grounds for Divorce in NJ

Section 2A:34-2 of the New Jersey Divorce Statutes outline the different causes of action available for a divorce. New Jersey recognizes no-fault grounds for divorce on the basis of separation or irreconcilable differences. The parties must live separately for at least 18 consecutive months with no prospect of reconciliation to succeed on the no-fault ground for separation as governed by 2A:34-2(d). A divorce complaint cannot be filed until the 18 month period of separation has elapsed with the presumption that no reasonable prospect of reconciliation occurs after that period. The parties must have experienced irreconcilable differences for six months or more with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation to obtain a divorce on the basis of irreconcilable differences pursuant to 2A:34-2(I). In the case of an irreconcilable differences divorce or one based on fault grounds, the parties do not need to actually separate prior to commencement of the action.

New Jersey also recognizes fault grounds for divorce including adultery, desertion, extreme cruelty, voluntary addiction or habituation, institutionalization, imprisonment and deviant sexual conduct. Desertion must be willful and continued for a period of 12 months or more. Extreme cruelty can be mental or physical but must be to the extent that it makes it unreasonable to expect the parties to continue to reside together. The fault ground for voluntary addiction refers to addiction to any narcotic drug and/or habitual drunkenness for 12 months or more. Institutionalization for a mental illness must be of a period greater than 24 consecutive months. A divorce can be awarded on the basis of imprisonment for 18 months or more. If the divorce is not commenced until after the defendant’s release the parties cannot have resumed cohabitation. Finally, deviant sexual conduct is that which is voluntarily performed by the defendant against plaintiff’s will. Adultery can be established through circumstantial evidence and generally requires some corroboration. When raising a claim for adultery, the third party who participated in the adultery must be named as a co-defendant and has the right to intervene. There is generally no benefit to pursuing a fault based divorce over a no fault divorce.

All grounds for divorce require NJ residency for a period of at least one year with the exception of adultery. This is true as it relates to divorce from the bonds of matrimony, or absolute divorce, as well as divorce from bed and board, or limited divorce. In the case of a limited divorce the parties will still be legally married but are able to achieve separation financially. Just as with a divorce, the parties can enter an agreement to divide all their marital property or submit to the court for a decision on division. Alimony may also be awarded where appropriate. Health insurance may continue if covered by the other spouse and legal separation is not specified as a reason for termination. A divorce from bed and board can be converted to a divorce from the bonds of matrimony if the parties elect to go through with a full divorce. It can also be revoked such that the parties resume their marriage.

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A Brief Guide to Uncontested Divorce in Pennsylvania

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An uncontested divorce occurs when both parties to the divorce agree on all of the main issues of the divorce. A couple may agree to property division, alimony and child support. However, the couple will still need to file a number of forms with the court, whether or not it is contested.

In addition, one party in the divorce must have been a Pennsylvania resident for six months prior to the beginning of the divorce. There must also be grounds for the divorce.

Two no-fault grounds exist in Pennsylvania. To obtain a divorce by mutual consent, both parties must agree the marriage is irretrievably broken and wait 90 days after the divorce action is served on the other side. The other no-fault divorce is a separation in which one party does not consent to the divorce and the parties have lived apart for a certain period of time. For divorces in which separation occurred prior to December of 2016, there is a two-year separation divorce, and for those who separated after December of 2016 there is a one-year separation divorce. Less common is a divorce on fault grounds, which include desertion, adultery, endangerment, “cruel and barbarous treatment,” one spouse’s imprisonment for at least two years or for “indignities.”

For a consensual no-fault divorce, the couple must agree to a Property Settlement Agreement if there are assets or issues of alimony. This agreement will divide the marital property according to a mutually negotiated settlement and award or waive alimony. The agreement may also lay out custody and child support, or these can be left to separate agreements or to court. Custody and support in Pennsylvania are not necessary to resolve before a divorce is granted. If there are no assets and no issues of alimony, you will not need an agreement just the divorce.

If the couple cannot agree completely on all issues, the divorce may still be no-fault but the issues will need to be litigated. In a contested divorce a family court judge will decide all issues according to Pennsylvania state law. This includes dividing marital assets equitably (not necessarily equally) and ordering child custody according to the best interests of the child as well as child support. In Pennsylvania these are all heard separately.

An uncontested divorce is often the result of mediation. In mediation, both parties to the divorce use a trained mediator to agree to the basic terms of divorce. Each party is still represented by an attorney, but the issues are all decided out of court. Mediation can provide the divorcing couple with a less acrimonious process, one that is managed privately.

Whether the divorce is contested or uncontested, each party should be represented by an attorney. A divorce lawyer can protect your rights and interests in divorce and ensure that your transition to post-divorce life goes as smoothly as possible.

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Relocation Realities

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By Leslie Ellen Shear

Parents who are considering moving with their children after separation or divorce, and parents deciding whether to oppose the children’s move have a lot to think about.

Download full article (PDF)

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Report: Many men may be eligible for spousal support and/or alimony but don’t receive it

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National statistics show that very few alimony recipients are men, even though a rising number of men may be eligible to receive this financial support.

Spouses getting divorced in Langhorne may be awarded alimony and/or spousal support, to address financial inequalities during and after divorce. State family law courts use various factors to determine how much spousal support should be awarded and how long this support should continue. These considerations are gender-neutral, so support is equally available to divorcing men and women. However, statistics suggest that many men do not receive the support that they may be entitled to.

MEN AND SPOUSAL SUPPORT
According to Forbes, Census data shows that about 400,000 Americans receive alimony. However, just 3 percent of those people – or about 12,000 individuals – are men. This seems to reflect a gap between the number of men who receive alimony and the number of men who are eligible for it. According to the same data, women act as primary breadwinners in about 40 percent of U.S. households.

Less formal data suggests that the number of men receiving alimony might be increasing. According to Reuters, in 2012, an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers survey focused on the number of women paying alimony. About 47 percent of the AAML members who responded stated that more women were paying spousal support to their ex-husbands. Still, a large number of men may go without spousal support that they could benefit from.

QUALIFYING FOR ALIMONY
In Pennsylvania, many men may be eligible to receive support. When awarding support and alimony, family law judges in the state consider various financial factors, including inheritances, current property, income, retirement accounts and future earning potential. Men with limited personal assets, income or earning opportunities may qualify for support.

The court may also assess less easily quantified factors. These include one spouse’s contribution to the other’s education or career; the marital standard of living; and the liabilities each spouse will incur while caring for the couple’s children. When these variables are weighed in, many men might be eligible for at least limited support.

POTENTIAL BARRIERS
Unfortunately, statistics indicate that many men do not receive the support that they may be entitled to. Forbes notes that there may be various explanations for this pattern, including the following:

Traditional stereotypes about gender roles may make some men reluctant to seek financial assistance.
For similar reasons, divorcing women may be more inclined to fight against paying support or alimony.
Unconscious biases may make judges more likely to award men limited support or decline to award it.
Despite these potential barriers, men should strongly consider exercising their rights to pursue support before divorce proceedings are complete. After a settlement has been finalized, spouses cannot change their minds about choosing to seek alimony.

For this reason, divorcing men may benefit from consulting with a family law attorney with experience in high-income divorce and support/alimony awards. An attorney may be able to offer advice on a spouse’s rights or assist the spouse in seeking needed support.

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Is Your Ex Sabotaging Your Summer Plans?

Depending on your custody arrangement, summer can be a time for your children to spend more time with each of their parents. It can be difficult to juggle vacation plans and visitation for two different households; occasional confusion may arise and compromise is necessary. But when your ex is consistently failing to follow through or seems to be intentionally sabotaging your summer plans, you need to take action, for your sake and your children’s.

 

Keep records of all communication

Keep all interaction with your ex civil. This is very important, not only because it may bring about the desired results, but because if you need to file a motion, the court’s judgment will be influenced by which is the more reasonable, mature parent. You want to be that parent.

 

If possible, do all communication about summer arrangements with a paper trail. Use email or a parenting portal that is admissible in court and tracks when parents receive messages, so your ex cannot argue that he or she never received your message.

 

Track all phone conversations, record if possible (and let your ex know you’re recording), and keep a detailed log.

 

Try to keep your communications positive. When you feel you cannot respond respectfully or calmly, wait until you’ve calmed down and consult with your custody attorney about the best way to respond. When necessary, let your attorney handle negative communications, which he or she can do dispassionately.

 

Remind your ex of the terms of divorce and custody agreements

In writing, remind your ex of the divorce agreement and/or custody agreement. If the agreements are clearly being violated, you have good standing to demand they be followed, and you are not required to give in to what your ex wants.

 

Create clear boundaries

If your ex isn’t breaking any agreements but is just being unreasonable – repeatedly making changes at the last minute, calling at odd hours, or blaming you for plans falling through – keep documentation, but also protect yourself and your children. Create clear boundaries – in writing – for when you will accept calls and/or how much notice you need for schedule changes.

 

These are reasonable requests. If your ex will not follow them, hold firm. Do not answer the phone or read emails outside the time stated, and do not accept last minute changes. Obviously, if your ex was supposed to pick your children up from summer camp and suddenly can’t, you must do so, but do not set yourself up for another sabotage. If he or she will not abide by these simple guidelines, it may be time to file a complaint with the court.

 

Avoid future summer conflicts

If you have kept a clear record of ex-spouse sabotage or lack of cooperation in co-parenting responsibilities, petition the court for changes in the custody agreement that will prevent another summer of frustration. Consider requesting that you both attend co-parenting counseling. You do not want a battle over your children for the next however-many summers. It’s not good for you or your children.

 

Contact us here at Ulmer Attorneys at Law, experts in Pennsylvania divorce and custody law and mediation, to find out how we can help you.


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Divorce and the Stay-at-Home Mom: 7 Immediate Must-Dos

If you’re facing divorce after you dedicated years to staying home and raising your children, you need to act quickly to protect yourself and your children. Follow these important steps:

 

1. Find an expert in Family Law and Mediation who can help you protect your financial future as well as negotiate arrangements that will be best for the children. You don’t know which direction your divorce will take. You may be able to settle amicably and mediate child support and visitation that’s agreeable to both of you… and you may not. You need a lawyer who is committed to settling out of court if possible but is capable of winning in court if necessary.

 

2. Make copies of all important financial documents – tax forms, bank statements, bills. Your lawyer will need these to make sure you get a fair division of assets as well as sufficient child support and spousal support.

 

3. Create a list of tangible assets that are important to you for the settlement. Consider, too, the value of your house and the expense of maintaining it (including taxes). For many people, downsizing is the best option – it frees up cash, decreases expenses, and helps you start over again without painful memories. But every situation is different. Discuss with your lawyer and a divorce financial analyst.

 

4. Protect current assets and create a personal bank account. Talk to your lawyer about freezing assets in a joint account to prevent your husband from withdrawing everything and leaving you penniless. Also discuss how you can create a stash of cash in your own name to hold you over until the divorce is settled.

 

5. Consider getting a job. This is tricky for the stay-at-home mom, because if your husband is currently out of work or quit his job and you take a minimum-wage job to keep the roof over your head, you could be considered the breadwinner. But if your husband is still gainfully employed, a part-time job may give you the funds you need until settlement.

 

6. Consider if/when you will go back to work after the divorce and what you need to do to prepare. If your divorce has to go to court, the judge will consider the age and health of your children, the years of marriage, and your skills to determine if you should be expected to return to work and when. Prepare now for that likelihood by looking at online courses you could take to brush up on your skills and make you more marketable.

 

7. Have someone to talk to. This is a very stressful time, but with help, you can do it. Your lawyer will work to give you the best settlement you can get, but he or she is not a therapist. You may need a professional counselor or a support group who will give you the strength and support you need to get you to the other side. Consider a counselor for your children as well.

 

There are other things you need to do, but these are the most immediate. If you’re a stay-at-home mom getting divorced in PA, contact us at The Legal and Mediation Services of Karen Ann Ulmer, Attorneys at Law to see how we can guide you through these and other important steps you need to take to protect yourself and your children.


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