Co-parenting and Dangerous Parenting

Co-parenting after splitting up can be challenging even when both sides are well-meaning and cooperative. It’s a lot more difficult when navigating co-parenting and dangerous parenting on your ex-partner’s side. 

Courts will always prioritize well-being while protecting children from high-conflict co-parenting. Consider the following when creating a safety plan for co-parenting with a risky ex.

What If You’re Concerned for Your Child’s Safety When They’re With Your Ex?

As a rule, family law courts believe it’s in the child’s best interests to spend time with both parents. However, some signs might tell you that your ex is unsafe for your kids.

Certain things your children do or say after spending time with the other parent could make you believe it’s dangerous for them to stay with your ex unsupervised. In this scenario, stay vigilant and consult a custody lawyer who knows how to navigate co-parenting and dangerous parenting.

Red Flags of Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

If your child comes back from their other parent with bruises or other signs of physical harm or tells you that your ex has abused them, you’ll want to take immediate action. However, not all abuse is obvious, especially if your child is too young to describe what happened.

Neglect and lack of supervision are also a form of abuse. For example, maybe your child often returns underfed or dirty from your ex’s house, or you discover that your ex neglects to ensure they take their prescription medications. You may also suspect your co-parent lets your child engage in risky or age-inappropriate activities without supervision. 

Finally, you may feel concerned about your ex-partner’s unaddressed problem of alcohol or substance abuse in the context of co-parenting.

You Must Still Obey Court Orders

While courts focus on prioritizing child safety in co-parenting plans, they expect you to comply with the proper procedures and present solid proof of your co-parent’s risky behavior. 

A seasoned lawyer can help you look into legal options for limiting contact with a dangerous parent. However, you can’t simply withhold parenting time based on suspicion. You could get into serious trouble, and the court may reduce your parenting time.

Document Each Incident of Potentially Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

Did your child tell you their other parent pushed, shoved, or slapped them? Write it down and date it. Did your ex-partner send you a text message or voicemail admitting they let the children stay outside until late unsupervised, despite your insistence not to? Save this message.

Keep a personal record of all your ex-partner’s actions that are abusive or could potentially endanger your kids. Then, consult a family lawyer for reliable advice on keeping your children safe.

Dealing With an Unsafe Co-Parent? Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Do you believe your ex is an unsafe co-parent? The skilled divorce and custody lawyers of Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you handle co-parenting and dangerous parenting, including co-parenting with a narcissist or abusive ex. Call us at (866) 349-4907 or schedule a consultation online.

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Have Wealth and Divorcing? Know the Issues

Wealth and divorce are a combination with a high potential for conflict. Many divorcing couples clash over money, but it can get much worse when the stakes are high and both sides have a lot to lose. 

If you hold significant assets, you need a solid strategy for protecting your finances during divorce. You may want to look into the following high-net-worth divorce considerations. 

Separate vs. Marital Property

Generally, all the assets you gain during marriage, including real estate, businesses, IRAs, and other investments, count as marital property and are subject to division during divorce. In contrast, assets you acquired before your marriage and kept separately, as well as inheritances, gifts, and some settlements and benefits, are separate property and aren’t part of the marital estate.

In addition, you and/or your spouse may hold assets you defined as separate in a prenuptial agreement. Spousal support and prenuptial agreements are another issue to consider as you prepare for divorce.

Hidden Assets

Having wealth and divorcing also means you should keep an eye on your assets to ensure your spouse isn’t trying to conceal property. For example, as soon as your spouse understands the marriage is over, they may start siphoning money from your joint accounts into an offshore trust. 

Pay attention to red flags like inexplicable cash withdrawals or transfers, incomplete financial records, or a sudden decrease in your spouse’s income. If you suspect your spouse is concealing assets, your next step should be finding qualified divorce lawyers for wealth management.

Tax Implications

You’ll also need to consider the tax implications of high-asset divorces. For example, if you retain real property as part of your asset division, from now on, you’ll be solely responsible for property taxes and rent taxes if it’s investment property.

Divorce-related property transfers are generally tax-free. However, you must maintain careful records of any transfers because you need to note the cost basis for capital gains tax on any property you sell after divorce.

Businesses, Intellectual Property, and Patents

Property division becomes even more complicated if you run a business or hold intellectual property jointly with your spouse. You may need to decide what to do with your joint venture, like selling the business and splitting the proceeds. Alternatively, one of you may buy out the other’s share.

Patents and other intellectual property are also part of the marital estate if acquired during the marriage. This means that if one spouse holds a trademark or patent, the other may be entitled to some of the profits from the intellectual property and awards from infringement lawsuits.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.: Protecting Your Wealth During Divorce in PA and NJ

Are you divorcing and wondering what to do about personal wealth? You need a legal professional to protect your financial interests and peace of mind.

The skilled lawyers of Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. can guide you through the division of assets in a complex divorce and help you reach a fair agreement. Call (866) 349-4907 or schedule a consultation online. 

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Child Custody and Religious Upbringing

Religion is a contested topic in many divorces, specifically when there are minor children in the picture. When a custody dispute involves religion, the judges in Bucks County, PA will always put the child’s interest first.

Who decides on matters of religious upbringing in child custody agreements? How do you approach balancing religious beliefs in co-parenting? Let’s talk about religion and how it impacts child custody. 

Can My Spouse Stop Me From Raising My Kids in My Faith?

Religious freedom is a constitutional right; generally, a parent’s religion won’t sway courts when deciding on custody arrangements. However, there may be exceptions if a parent’s religious practices cause direct harm to a child.

If Bob, who is Christian, divorces Karen, who is Jewish, he probably won’t be able to stop Karen from taking the kids to the synagogue on the High Holy Days. Similarly, Karen can’t stop Bob from attending Christmas service with the children while they spend the holidays with him. 

However, courts will also consider the status quo beyond child custody and freedom of religion. For example, if Bob and Karen’s children previously attended Hebrew school, Bob probably wouldn’t be able to pull them out after the divorce if Karen wants them to remain enrolled.

In discussing religion and how it impacts child custody, it’s important to distinguish between physical and legal custody. Parents typically share legal custody equally, regardless of who has the larger share of physical custody.

Thus, even if the children spend more time with one parent, the other parent has an equal say in the children’s religious upbringing. However, if one parent has sole legal custody, they’ll be responsible for all the major decisions in raising the child, including religious education. 

Don’t Weaponize Religion 

Whatever you do, never use religion to undermine your co-parent or alienate your children from them. You should always show your children that you respect their other parent’s religious beliefs.

For example, it isn’t acceptable to engage in emotional blackmail to pressure a child into religious practices (“I won’t consider you my child anymore if you refuse to go to church with me”). Comments like “Your mom is going to hell because she walked out of our faith” are also extremely hurtful and traumatizing for children.

Make a Parenting Plan

Respecting religious differences in child custody cases makes life much easier for both sides. We encourage you to sit down with your co-parent and negotiate a parenting plan that suits everyone, especially for sensitive times like holidays. A professional mediator can help bridge your differences if you can’t work out a plan on your own.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.: Helping You Navigate Custody and Parenting Plans in PA and NJ

Are you unsure about how your child custody arrangement will impact the religious upbringing of your children? Contact our law firm for reliable counsel on protecting your rights in divorce. We can also help you reduce stress and conflict by collaborative mediation for religious disputes in child custody.  

Call us at (866) 349-4907 or book a consultation online.

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Dating During Your Divorce

Your marriage is over, but you’re still dealing with the Bucks County legal process as you finalize your divorce. Can you take the leap and start seeing new people, or should you wait until you’re officially single again?

Dating during your divorce is a highly personal choice, but you’ll need to consider the emotional, practical, and legal implications of dating post-separation. The following tips will help with navigating dating while divorcing.

Your Spouse Could Get Upset and Delay Divorce

Even though your relationship has ended, your ex may become resentful if they learn you’re dating someone new. This is especially true if you initiated the divorce. Your ex may suspect you broke up with them for your new romantic partner’s sake and even drag your name through the mud in front of family and friends.

Moreover, Pennsylvania recognizes adultery as grounds for a fault-based divorce. If you start dating during your divorce and your spouse decides to fight you in court, support payments could be put in jeopardy. Your ex could also complicate your life on purpose and back out of decisions you’ve already agreed on, like property division or a parenting plan.

Don’t Involve Your New Significant Other

Keep in mind the emotional considerations of dating during divorce. Finding healthy relationships post-divorce is a challenge for many. Even if you feel ready to date, you may still carry mental baggage from your past relationship, often without being aware of it.

You may need time (and possibly therapy) to leave negative relationship patterns behind and rebuild your life with someone new. If you decide to start dating before your divorce is final, avoid involving your new partner in the divorce process, conflicts with your ex, or negotiations over property division, custody, or child support.

Don’t Introduce the Kids Too Soon

When asking, “Is it too early to date after divorce?” consider how your love life may affect your kids. Divorce can be a painful transition for children, especially if they’re too young to understand what’s going on. Introducing a new partner too soon can make the situation even more confusing.

Besides, your children might tell the other parent about your new romantic partner. This could be a problem if you want to keep your new relationship private. It could heighten tensions, which is the last thing you need during a divorce.

Protecting children when dating after divorce should be a top priority. Let some time pass before introducing your new significant other to your kids. Do so only once you’re convinced they’re a safe and emotionally healthy person who is going to become a part of your life long-term.

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.: Helping You Navigate Divorce in PA and NJ

Should you consider dating during your divorce? Do you have other questions about the divorce process? At Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., we help you minimize stress and protect your interests as you transition into this new chapter of your life. 

Call (866) 349-4907 or book a consultation online for reliable legal advice about divorce in Pennsylvania or New Jersey.

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Co-parenting and Dangerous Parenting

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Co-parenting after splitting up can be challenging, even when both sides are well-meaning and cooperative. It’s a lot more difficult to navigate co-parenting when there are signs of dangerous parenting on the side of your ex-partner. 

Courts will always prioritize well-being while protecting children from high-conflict co-parenting. Consider the following when creating a safety plan for co-parenting with a risky ex.

What If You’re Concerned for Your Child’s Safety When They’re With Your Ex?

As a rule, family law courts believe it’s in the child’s best interests to spend time with both parents. However, some signs might tell you that your ex is unsafe for your kids.

Certain things your children do or say after spending time with the other parent could make you believe it’s dangerous for them to stay with your ex unsupervised. In this scenario, stay vigilant and consult a custody lawyer who knows how to navigate co-parenting and dangerous parenting.

Red Flags of Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

If your child comes back from their other parent with bruises or other signs of physical harm or tells you that your ex has abused them, you’ll want to take immediate action. However, not all abuse is obvious, especially if your child is too young to describe what happened.

Neglect and lack of supervision are also a form of abuse. For example, maybe your child often returns underfed or dirty from your ex’s house, or you discover that your ex neglects to ensure they take their prescription medications. You may also suspect your co-parent lets your child engage in risky or age-inappropriate activities without supervision. 

Finally, you may feel concerned about your ex-partner’s unaddressed problem of alcohol or substance abuse in the context of co-parenting.

You Must Still Obey Court Orders

While courts focus on prioritizing child safety in co-parenting plans, they expect you to comply with the proper procedures and present solid proof of your co-parent’s risky behavior. 

A seasoned lawyer can help you look into legal options for limiting contact with a dangerous parent. However, you can’t simply withhold parenting time based on suspicion. You could get into serious trouble, and the court may reduce your parenting time.

Document Each Incident of Potentially Dangerous Co-Parenting Behavior

Did your child tell you their other parent pushed, shoved, or slapped them? Write it down and date it. Did your ex-partner send you a text message or voicemail admitting they let the children stay outside until late unsupervised, despite your insistence to the contrary? Save this message.

Keep a personal record of all your ex-partner’s actions that are abusive or could potentially endanger your kids. Then, consult a family lawyer for reliable advice on keeping your children safe.

Dealing With an Unsafe Co-Parent? Call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. 

Do you believe your ex is an unsafe co-parent? The skilled divorce and custody lawyers of Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can help you handle co-parenting and dangerous parenting, including co-parenting with a narcissist or abusive ex. Call us at (866) 349-4907 or schedule a consultation online.

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A Brief Guide To Appealing Your Divorce

Imagine this scenario: A judge has ruled on your divorce, and you are unhappy with the decision. Is there anything you can do?

In some situations, you may be able to seek a more favorable judgment that allows you to modify the judge’s original decision regarding child custody or support, property distribution, alimony, and debt arrangements.

This article explores the various grounds for divorce appeal and recommendations for challenging unfair divorce settlement findings.

When You Can Appeal Your Divorce

There’s no question that contesting divorce decree provisions is not easy, and you must have a compelling reason to do so. It’s not enough to simply say that you disagree with the judge, or that you feel the outcome is “unfair.”

Instead, you need to have proper grounds for filing an appeal. There are a few ways you can do this. One of the most common rationales for overturned divorce settlements on appeal is that there was some kind of mistake made.

Examples of mistakes include the judge misinterpreting the law, not correctly applying the legal standards, or making an error regarding the facts. 

Other potential grounds for appealing your divorce could be a showing that there was a lack of evidence to support the judge’s findings or there was another problem with the evidence that impacted the judge’s ability to rule fairly. This often comes down to the judge abusing their discretion and making an unreasonable final decision.

Even if you can demonstrate one or more of the above flaws in the case, there is still a final obstacle to overcome before your case can even be heard. You will have to be able to show that whatever the mistake or flaw was, it would have materially affected the outcome of your case.

How To File a Divorce Appeal in Bucks County

Once you have identified the proper grounds for a divorce appeal, the legal process of overturning the initial judgment and seeking a new one comes next.

The first step in this process is filing a Notice of Appeal, which ultimately informs your former spouse that you intend to appeal the judge’s decision. From there, your attorney will prepare the “Record,” which includes the transcripts and documents from the initial proceeding.

Upon completion of this step, your attorney will file an appellate brief that outlines all of your legal arguments. After being assigned a court date, you’ll be able to present your arguments about the grounds for the appeal and the relevant evidence to support your case.

Finally comes the waiting part of the appeals process. This can take several days, and the court may affirm or reverse the trial court’s decision. It’s also possible that the judgment may be modified or the case could be remanded back to the trial court with further instructions.

Contact an Experienced Appellate Lawyer for Divorce Cases

While the goal is to stay out of court so you and your spouse can make all the decisions, sometimes an appeal is necessary. For more information or to begin the appeal process, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at 866-349-4907 for an initial consultation.

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Is a Parent’s Home Unsuitable for Visitation? Here Are Some Options

While there is no such thing as a “perfect” home, a child must have a safe, stable, and healthy environment in which to live. If you believe that your former spouse or partner is putting the mental, physical, or emotional safety of your child at risk by not maintaining a home suitable for visitation, keep reading to learn more about your options.

What Really Makes a Home Unfit for Child Visitation?

Whether a home is actually adequate for a child to live in or visit depends on numerous factors. A judge can evaluate if an environment meets the overall criteria, looking specifically for objective signs that the home is suitable, comfortable, and safe for children.

Obvious signs of unsuitability include substance abuse, domestic violence, and physical abuse. In these situations, the other parent can be ruled unfit, and the court can remove the child from the home.

There are also more subtle clues that a parent’s home is genuinely unsuitable for visitation. For example, an unclean, a hoarding situation, or a lack of basic needs (like utilities being deactivated), clearly indicate that the parent is ill-equipped to provide a home appropriate for visitation.

Additional factors may also come into play. For example, if the other parent is neglecting the child or not being responsive to their needs, that could be a sign that the environment is unsuitable. While there can be universal guidelines, many of these judgments may come down to an individual situation based on the age of the child and the current and past rules set by or agreed upon by the parents.

One of the first steps in protecting a child from having to spend time in a home that is unsuitable for visitation is to gather evidence of an unsafe visitation environment. This can involve documenting your concerns and communicating constructively with the other parent.

In keeping with the goal of protecting the best interests of the child, anyone who suspects abuse or neglect can report the situation to Child Protective Services. This initiates an investigation and includes interviews, home observations, and reports, which can be used as evidence in court.

A family law attorney can guide you in pursuing legal actions such as filing a petition to restrict visitation due to unfit home conditions or pursuing child custody modifications due to unsafe conditions. If there is concern that both parents’ homes are unsuitable for visitation, the next step may be to explore alternative solutions such as conducting visitations at a neutral site.

Contact an Experienced Family Law Attorney

Every child deserves to grow up and thrive in a truly safe and healthy environment. At Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., our law firm takes an empathetic and compassionate approach to resolving child custody conflicts, including those centered around safety.

To learn more about how our attorneys can help you, call us at 866-349-4907 for a consultation.

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When To Consider Parallel Parenting

Studies show that children have better outcomes when they are able to spend approximately 50% of their time with each parent. However, this can be difficult in a contentious Bucks County divorce or when two parents have drastically different parenting styles.

In these high-conflict situations, parallel parenting can be the recommended solution to ensure that the kids spend ample time with each parent, yet the warring parents don’t have to interact much (if at all) with each other.

This article defines the concept of parallel parenting, including when it might be the right solution for divorced parents.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

A parallel parenting situation occurs when each parent makes their own decisions about the children’s care and activities while they are in that parent’s respective custody. In other words, parallel parenting is when you are both parenting, but doing your own thing.

This approach to custody and decision-making is typically recommended when parents do not get along. Parallel parenting is a co-parenting method that minimizes contact between the two parents because each parent has the authority to exercise autonomy and authority within their own household.

Parallel Parenting vs. Shared Custody

In a co-parenting arrangement, parallel parenting is markedly different from shared custody (also referred to as joint custody). With shared custody, both parents work together in regard to important decisions, including education, healthcare, religious upbringing, etc.

By contrast, parallel parenting virtually eliminates this shared decision-making, and communication methods for parallel parenting arrangements may be limited to email, text messaging, parenting apps, shared online platforms (like Google Drive or Dropbox), third-party mediators, and written communication.

These methods of communication minimize interactions between the parents while allowing them to exchange vital information about a child’s well-being.

While co-parenting is ideal, it’s not always practical or healthy. Parallel parenting is good in high-conflict situations. One of the key benefits of parallel parenting for children is that both parents maintain a good relationship with their kids, and the parents don’t have to interact with each other.

One potential downside of high-conflict co-parenting strategies like parallel parenting is that it opens up the door for kids to play the parents off of each other because communication is kept to a minimum.

Benefits of Parallel Parenting

When both parents want to be involved in their children’s lives but cannot maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship, parallel parenting can be a preferred approach.

The benefits of parallel parenting include reduced conflict and tension between the parents and the two homes, better-established boundaries, predictable and established communication methods, lower stress levels (due to reduced contact and arguments), and overall improved co-parenting skills.

While it may be ideal for both parents to cooperate and communicate with each other instead of in parallel, it’s important to consider the impact that ongoing conflict can have on the psychological health of the child.

Contact an Experienced Child Custody Attorney

Navigating parallel parenting, including creating a parallel parenting schedule, can be an important step in ensuring that your children have a healthy and stable living situation. To learn more about parallel parenting, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at 866-349-4907 for a consultation.

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Traveling Abroad With Kids After Divorce

Jetting off to Tokyo or Paris has always been on your bucket list, and now that your ex is in the rearview mirror, you make plans to do just that. Not so fast, though. Traveling abroad with a child post-divorce isn’t something you can do on a whim. You’ll probably need to ask your ex for permission to avoid violating your custody arrangement.

Below, learn everything you need to know about traveling after divorce with your child.

Refer to Your Custody Agreement

Before packing your bags, look over your parenting plan. Does it say anything about taking your child out of the country? Many custody plans limit the number of days per year that you can travel internationally with your little one.

If you have sole physical and legal custody, you may not have to ask your ex for permission to travel, but it’s a good idea to at least let them know of your travel plans. If you have joint custody, you’ll need to ask for passport consent.

Should you fail to ask permission before leaving the country, your ex could have you charged with parental abduction under the Hague Convention.

Apply for Passports for Kids After Divorce

If you plan on traveling internationally after divorce, both you and your child will need a passport. You must supply proof of parentage (such as a birth certificate or DNA test results) to procure a passport for children under 16.

If you have joint custody, you must supply a court order that permits you to travel abroad with your young one. You might also need to show customs officials a written statement from your ex that permits international travel.

Note that you may be ineligible for a passport if you’ve been neglecting child support payments. In Pennsylvania, you’re ineligible for a passport if you owe more than $2,500 in child support.

Bring Must-Have Paperwork With You When Traveling After Divorce

If your ex gives the thumbs-up to travel abroad with your child, be sure to bring written permission from them with you. You should also bring copies of your custody agreement and the child’s birth certificate. Never let these documents out of your sight.

What If Your Ex Won’t Play Ball?

Understandably, the prospect of you taking your child abroad might make your ex anxious. They don’t like the thought of missing out on parenting time, and they may worry that you’ll flee overseas and never return.

Talk to your ex to figure out what’s bothering them. You may be able to reach a compromise. For instance, in exchange for allowing international travel, you might agree to give your ex more visitation for the rest of the year.

If your ex still refuses to grant permission, contact a divorce and custody attorney to discuss your situation.

Learn More About International Travel Restrictions After Divorce

Traveling after divorce can be exhilarating, but before you buy plane tickets or book a hotel, you must ensure you can leave the country with your child. If your ex says no, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at (215) 752-6200 for a confidential consultation.

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Child Custody: When Your Ex Is Always Late Dropping Off or Picking Up Your Kids

Your ex was supposed to pick up your child three hours ago, but they still haven’t arrived. Not only that but they can’t even be bothered to call you and tell you what’s going on. You’re annoyed, to put it lightly, and your child keeps asking, “Why isn’t daddy here yet?”

Below, a divorce and child custody attorney explains how to handle non-compliance of court-ordered visitation here in Bucks County.  

Why Is Your Ex Not Complying With the Parenting Plan?

If your ex is only late occasionally, that’s understandable. But if they’re always late, they might be trying to annoy you. Some exes enjoy wasting your time and they do it to “punish” you.

“How dare she divorce me?” these people think. “I’ll show her.”

Of course, your ex might just as well have a problem with time management. Regardless, that’s not an excuse to be constantly late for drop-offs and pickups.

Chronic Lateness Impacts You and Your Child

Your child gazes out the window as they eagerly wait for their parent to arrive. Your ex was supposed to arrive at 10, but 30 minutes later, they’re still not here. You try to assure your child that mommy still cares about them. They’re not convinced, though, and you can’t blame them.

Young children can’t understand why mom or dad is always late. It makes them sad and frustrated. They might even feel like their parent doesn’t love them anymore.

Chronic lateness affects you, too. You might be late to work or miss an important meeting because of your ex’s behavior. If your ex’s lateness is impacting your life, call a divorce and child custody attorney for guidance.

How To Handle an Ex Who’s Always Late

If your ex is fairly amicable, you can try talking to them. Simply ask why they’re always late. Maybe they have a good reason. For instance, perhaps they have a new job schedule that interferes with visitation. If this is the case, you might consider custody modification.

Mediation can also help you sort out tardiness. During mediation, you and your ex will meet with a neutral party to find a solution to their chronic lateness.

When Should You Hire a Lawyer?

If your ex doesn’t abide by your custody arrangement and no amount of talking helps, it may be time to call a divorce and custody attorney. Your lawyer can send a letter to your ex laying out the consequences of their chronic lateness.

Should that fail, your attorney can file a motion for contempt of court. A judge may give you more parenting time or fine your ex to discourage further lateness.

Is Your Ex Always Late for Custody Exchange? Contact Our Firm

Your ex may think it’s funny to annoy you by constantly showing up late, but chronic lateness is no laughing matter. If your ex refuses to show up on time, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.

For a confidential consultation with a divorce and child custody attorney, call (866) 349-4265.

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