Locking Down Your Life from Your Ex

Divorce is about change and moving from the marriage that dominated your life to a new chapter. You and your spouse were connected in many ways. Whether you are in the process of divorcing or it is already behind you, you must take steps to be more independent. This is especially true if you have a difficult spouse who may use information against you.  

Should you have keys to each other’s homes?  

Probably not. There are the occasional, genuinely friendly divorces, and you may want your ex to have a key to your home in case of an emergency (or you lose your keys). However, this is generally not a good idea because it creates the possibility of dangerous situations and stalking by someone with whom, in the past, you shared a deep connection. Even someone who seems to have taken the divorce well may harbor serious grudges that could play out in what you think is the security and privacy of your own home. 

Should I allow my ex in my home? 

If you are both parents and want to, at the very least, maintain the appearance of civility, you could allow the other parent to come in momentarily to pick up your kids. If the relationship has broken down, that can be done outside or at a neutral site.  

If you do not want them in your home, clearly communicate that. If they drop by just to annoy (or worse, threaten) you, document what is happening. You could also install security cameras because a picture is worth a thousand words. We could have a protective order put in place if needed. If they are threatening or stalking you, get the police involved. 

Should I change my passwords? 

Yes, especially if the app or website concerns financial matters. Creating a new email address may also be a good idea. If they know the email address you use, unless there is a two-step identification process, they may be able to change your password and lock you out of the account.  

Not only might your spouse access social media accounts and post embarrassing or spiteful content, they could also steal your money. You could lose your job if your ex, using your accounts, posts racist ramblings on LinkedIn or sends a resignation email to your boss. It is a mess you would rather prevent than try to clean up afterward.   

Should I get a new job? 

Many of us meet future spouses at work. We may marry business partners. This may have worked for a time, but keeping your professional and business lives separate during or after a divorce may be too much to ask. 

If you co-own a business, there should be an ownership agreement spelling out how one party can sell their interest to fellow owners or others. Leaving a job you love or one with a lot of potential may be necessary if it is impacting your performance.  

Should you or your ex leave? That is a discussion worth having. Your ex may be more willing and able to go than you, or this may become another test of will to see who can outlast the other (which could get very ugly). 

How many connections should I break? 

You may have any number of things in common. You may volunteer for the same charity, belong to the same religious organization, or like the same neighborhood restaurant. How far you need to go to move on in your life depends on you. Not everyone needs to reinvent their life, but you should make necessary changes to move on after a divorce.  

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, PC, today if you are considering getting divorced and have questions or have decided it is right for you and need legal representation. If your ex is threatening or stalking you, we can also help you put that to an end. 

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Your Divorce Team

A divorce can be an emotionally difficult time. A supportive network of people can make it easier to manage and help you start your new life. Every team needs a qualified attorney and others who will provide you with emotional support and practical help. Here in Bucks County it can be helpful to have the following individuals on your team:  

Who Makes the Team? 

1. Your Attorney 

Your lawyer is the captain of your team, the trainer in your corner. There is no more critical teammate than the one guiding you through the legal process. It is our job to ensure your legal rights are protected and put you in the best possible position to start your new life. 

Without an attorney, or by retaining one who is learning while they work on your divorce, you could create massive problems for yourself and your kids now and in the future. This process is too complicated, and there is too much at stake to have no attorney, or the wrong one, on your team. 

2. Therapist or Counselor 

A divorce could be one of the most stressful events in your life. However, with the right team on your side, it need not be. A mental health professional can provide you with a confidential and safe space to talk about your feelings and work through your challenges. They can also offer strategies for managing stress and coping with difficult emotions.  

3. A Support Group 

Joining a support group of people who are also going through a divorce can help you connect to others who understand what you are going through. It may be a huge relief to know you are not the only one thinking your thoughts or feeling your emotions. They can support you emotionally and provide you with practical advice on how to handle current and future issues.  

4. A Divorce Coach 

Divorce coaching is part of the larger profession of life coaching. A divorce coach focuses on separation, divorce, and life after divorce. A good divorce coach can help you make sound decisions before, during, and after your divorce, set and achieve goals, and cope with this significant change in your life. 

5. Family and Friends 

Some friends and family members will be better at helping you than others. The better you know and trust the person, the more likely they will be helpful to you. Not everyone will be good in this role, so choose wisely.  

They should be someone you can turn to for emotional support and who will listen to you. Choose someone supportive and nonjudgmental and with whom you feel comfortable talking about your feelings and experiences. Someone who has also gone through a divorce may be particularly helpful.

If you have young children, someone who can help with childcare could greatly help. Having an attorney, divorce coach, support group, or therapist is great, but if you cannot meet with them because you do not have someone to look after your kids, they will not do you much good. 

The attorneys and staff at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., understand how difficult a divorce can be. We are privileged to have our clients rely on and depend on us during this critical time. They trust us with this life-changing event, and we work to earn that trust every day. 

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Preparing to Lose Benefits After a Divorce

If you rely on your spouse for health insurance and retirement benefits, losing them will be one of the costs of a divorce. There are also tax benefits to marriage that will end. But your losses may be lessened with planning and the right advice and preparation from your divorce attorney.

Health Insurance 

Most people get health insurance as a workplace benefit. The US Census estimates that in 2019, 55.4% of those with medical coverage got it through the workplace. If you currently work and are covered by your spouse, find out if your employer offers health insurance benefits, and if so, its benefits and costs. If you are looking for a new job after your marriage ends, these benefits may be a key to making a position attractive. 

If your spouse can get health insurance through their job, and you have children, it probably makes the most financial sense to have them covered by these benefits.  

The federal Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1985 (COBRA) changed the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA), the Public Health Service Act, and the Internal Revenue Code to require group health plans to provide a temporary continuation in situations where it may otherwise end.  

If you were covered by your spouse’s medical benefits when you divorced, it could continue. But you will pay your entire premium (there will be no employer contribution), and it will not be available forever (it lasts up to 36 months). Because of its expense, COBRA coverage is often a “bridge” to your subsequent, more affordable health coverage. 

If coverage through your job is not an option, you should consider plans available through the Affordable Care Act (ACA or Obamacare) marketplace. If your income is low enough, you may qualify for a subsidy. Your cost will not be affected by pre-existing conditions, but the coverage’s quality,  your age, whether you are covering your children, and your location will impact the premium. You have 60 days from your divorce to enroll. If you miss that deadline, you must wait until the next open enrollment. 

Tax Breaks 

The impact on your taxes will vary. If your income is higher or equivalent to what your spouse earns, you will probably pay a higher tax rate after your divorce because married couples filing jointly usually pay fewer taxes. There is also a larger limit on charitable contributions. If you make substantially less than your spouse post-divorce, you may be in a lower tax bracket and pay less. 

If your divorce was finalized after December 31, 2018, and you pay alimony, you cannot deduct it from your income. If you collect alimony, it is not taxable income. Likewise, child support payments are not deductible and are not considered income for the parent obtaining the support. 

Retirement Benefits 

Retirement benefits like 401(k) accounts and pensions are generally considered marital property, so they could be equitably divided during the divorce. During the divorce process, all marital property is inventoried. A fair amount for each is negotiated by the parties or ordered by a judge after a trial. It is common that instead of retirement benefits being split up, they will stay with the spouse who earned them, while that party gives up an equivalent amount of other assets to make up for it. 

There are many moving parts to a divorce, and the number and size of those parts vary with each couple. Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., today because we are here to help you with a divorce. If you are considering getting divorced and have questions, or you have decided it is right for you and you need legal representation, call us today. 

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Saving Money on your Divorce: Preparing

Getting a divorce can be costly here in Bucks County, but you can make the best of what could be a bad situation. If your relationship is ending, you should not allow the cost of a divorce to prevent you from starting your new life. This is especially true if your spouse abuses you and wants to manipulate you through the process (driving up legal bills).  

How Much Will a Divorce Cost? 

In most cases, the cost will vary. Carefully read the costs and fees spelled out in our representation agreement before retaining us. There will be an upfront retainer (like a security deposit). You then will be charged hourly for our services and your costs will be drawn down from the retainer.  

There are also fees for filing legal documents, using experts, obtaining custody evaluations, and other costs. Most law firms bill their time in six-minute increments. Partners, associates, and paralegals bill at different rates. 

We disclose our costs early in the process, so there will be no surprises. Most of the fees are incurred when you need to appear in court. Courts are very busy and cases back up. Depending on the scheduling and how a day goes, we may spend a lot of time waiting. We also spend time preparing for the matter before going to court.  

Simplifying the Divorce Makes It More Affordable 

As your case’s complexity increases, so do the costs. That can come about in three ways: 

  • The facts are complicated  
  • One or both parties are combative and unreasonable 
  • A combination of the two 

We need a good grasp of your case’s issues and facts. That takes time which costs money. We may also need to hire an accountant if one or both parties own a business or substantial investments are involved. Relationships with children, who may have special needs, and how they should reconcile with the divorce may require the help of a child psychologist. 

The divorce will get costly if one or both spouses see the legal proceedings as another venue to drag the other through the mud and make their lives miserable. The more in dispute, the more time we spend: 

  • In court 
  • Writing letters 
  • Writing, responding to, and filing motions 
  • In meetings with clients 
  • On phone calls with opposing counsel 

We may also hire a mediator to try to get the parties to agree to put out the fire. In the worst-case scenario, the parties battle it out during a trial and then stretch the process further with appeals. 

Do the Homework 

You will save some money if you do a good job gathering and organizing evidence. The more complicated your financial and family lives, the more documents and evidence there will be. This can involve: 

  • Tax returns 
  • Bank records 
  • Investment accounts 
  • Retirement accounts 
  • Documents about a family-owned business 
  • Stock options 
  • Job benefits 
  • Titles to vehicles, real estate, and artwork 
  • Documents of a child’s school performance and physical, emotional, or psychological disabilities 

Our time costs you money. The more documents you obtain, the fewer we must try to find. The better you organize these records, the less time we must spend putting them together, and the less time it takes to review them. 

You May Qualify for a Flat Fee 

The simpler your lives, the lower your cost. If you have no assets, custody, or alimony issues and only need a simple divorce, you may only pay a flat fee (assuming nothing unexpected comes up. If it does, we will charge extra by the hour). This may be because you simply lack these issues or the two of you have a valid, comprehensive prenuptial agreement that neither of you challenges. 

No Matter What You Can Afford, We Can Answer Questions 

We understand our clients do not have limitless resources. If you are considering a divorce and want to learn more about what it may cost, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., today to see how we can help you. 

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How Much Should It Cost My Spouse to Buy Out the House?

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Equity in a home may be a married couple’s biggest asset. Before deciding what to do with the marital home in a divorce, you must find out how much that equity is and what the home would probably sell for if it was put on the market. Get professional help for this task. There is too much at stake to try to come up with some figures after a couple of hours of internet research. 

Why Does This Matter? 

The assets and debts of married couples are equitably divided in Pennsylvania divorce proceedings. If the couple has a house and a mortgage, who gets what is an essential part of the process. That starts with determining the home’s value and how much equity each party has.  

The home is usually a significant component of the overall agreement of how assets and debts are divided. If the parties cannot agree, assets and debts can be divided by a judge after a trial. This is the most time and resource-consuming way to resolve the issue, which is why it is the route of last resort if the parties cannot agree. 

This does not matter if the house is not marital property subject to division. It may have been owned by one spouse before marriage, though the other spouse may make a claim to its increase in value since the marriage began.  

The parties may also have a premarital or prenuptial agreement spelling out who will get the home in case there is a divorce or a formula to determine an amount. A prenup may also spell out the amount that one needs to pay to buy out the other’s interest. 

Another option is selling the house. After the mortgage, liens, taxes, and costs are paid, the profit left over is part of the cash the two of you will divide. 

What is Home Equity? 

Appraised Value – (Balance of Mortgages + Liens) = Home Equity 

The higher the appraised value and the lower the balances for your mortgage and liens (if you have any), the more home equity you have. The two of you should agree on a professional appraiser to determine the appraised value. Each of you could hire your own, and the result may or may not differ, but no matter the outcome, the cost is double that of just hiring one. 

Avoid a do-it-yourself appraisal. Unless you are a trained professional, you do not know what you are doing. Properties you think are comparable may not be, and you may miss properties that genuinely are similar. This approach could cost you far more than the money you save by not hiring an appraiser. If you are buying out your spouse, you may come up with an inaccurate value that is too high, or if you are the one receiving money or other assets, your figure may be too low. 

The spouse buying out the other should hire a home inspector. That extra pair of educated eyes could find hidden problems impacting the value. It is better to learn about them sooner than later. 

How Will I Pay to Purchase My Spouse’s Interest in the House? 

There are different options. If none are feasible, you will not be able to buy your spouse out. As much as you may want to keep the house, if you can not afford it, you must move on. 

The simplest way is to pay cash, but not many people have that much in reserve. You could refinance the mortgage, but interest rates are up, and qualifying may be difficult. You would pay off the existing mortgage balance through the refinance and use the equity to pay the other spouse. If your application is accepted, your monthly payment may be more than what you pay now. 

Another option might be that the other party will accept payments over time, and the property title changes after the last one is made. This will require a written contract, and both sides will want to protect their interests if, in the future, the paying party cannot afford full payments or complete the deal within the specified time frame. 

Because all marital assets are subject to equitable division, one way to buy out your spouse is to transfer or give up your claims to other assets. Read our blog article I Want to Buy My Spouse Out of the House for more information.

If you have any questions about what will happen with your home after a divorce or need legal representation, please contact us here at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. We can discuss how this may play out and how we can help you through the process. 

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I Want to Buy My Spouse Out of the House

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If you and your spouse are divorcing and you own a home, you have some options. If you want the property, you will need to pay your spouse for their equity share. One way to accomplish this is to trade assets or property as part of the divorce process.  

Splitting up your debts, assets, and possessions fairly and equitably will be part of your divorce. It can be very contentious, but ideally, the parties should consider this a business transaction. The two of you will start a new personal life, and to accomplish that, you will need to split your financial lives in a way you can both accept. 

You can reach a resolution or litigate the issue and have the judge decide. If that is where the case ends up, you will give up controlling the outcome, which will cost you more time, energy, and money.  

How Can I Make This Work? 

If you prefer to live in your marital home, you will need to pay your spouse for their ownership interest. 

Often during divorces, the spouses agree and disagree on a mix of assets. You could offer your spouse something that is clearly yours and give up your rights to assets that are contested. Consider the following scenarios: 

  • The two of you have $100,000 in home equity. To buy out your spouse’s $50,000 share, you could give up your $50,000 interest in a joint investment account or a 401k. 
  • You are claiming spousal support. You may give it up or reduce it in exchange for your spouse’s home equity.

Ideally, your spouse will be open to swapping assets to cover their home equity, and it will be enough to cover the whole amount. If that is not the case, you could pursue a cash-out finance but keep in mind the following:

  • You would refinance your mortgage, but in your name only. 
  • This is only an option if you qualify for the loan and can afford the new monthly payments, which will probably be higher than what the two of you now pay. You are also subject to the going loan rates, which are going up and down. 
  • If you are the sole owner, you must also be able to afford all the other costs that come with home ownership, such as taxes, utilities, maintenance, repairs, and insurance. 
  • The refinance gives you access to the home equity, which you can use to pay your spouse.

Given the number of divorces, this is nothing new for mortgage companies. However, if this is your first divorce, it is new to you. Refinancing a mortgage during a divorce will probably involve substantial potential financial liability, so this should not be decided upon quickly without advice from an attorney. 

What Could Be My Plan B? 

As much as you want the house, depending on your post-divorce income and assets, buying out your spouse could make you house-rich and money-poor. You may end up with not enough money to go anywhere or do anything, and being one major house repair away from living on credit cards. Your spouse could buy you out, or the two of you could sell the house and split the profit. The money you receive could be your down payment on a more affordable house.  

Who Will Own Your House is Just One of Many Issues 

If you are considering getting divorced and concerned about where you’ll live afterward, contact us here at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., so we can answer your questions and discuss how we can help you.   

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What To Do if the Executor Does Not Follow the Will

A will is a document that sets out your wishes for how your property should be divided among heirs when you pass away. You can also use this legal document to name guardians for your minor children and appoint an executor for your estate.

When choosing an executor, you can select a friend or family member you trust to handle the job in a way that best honors your wishes. You can also choose to work with a probate lawyer or hire another type of professional to administer your estate.

No matter who you select as executor for your estate, you have an expectation that they will follow the will and carry out their duties in keeping with your instructions. If you’ve lost a loved one and feel that the executor of their estate is not following the will, you have some legal options.

Does an Executor Have to Follow the Will?

Yes, an executor’s job is to probate the will, and that includes following the instructions in the will when it comes to disbursing the assets of the estate.

The one exception is if there is a conflict between state estate laws and the provisions of the will. In these cases, the executor may need to act in accordance with the law, though it can be a good idea to consult a lawyer if there is any potential conflict. If a lawyer helped create the will in the first place, it should be compliant with state laws. However, if someone created a will in one state and moved to another state before passing away, the state laws governing their estate may make some parts of their will invalid. (It’s a good idea to update your will if you move to another state for this reason.)

When Will the Courts Intercede?

If you believe the executor is not following a will, you may be able to petition the court to appoint another executor. Typically, you must be a beneficiary, potential heir, or someone else with a valid interest in the matter to make this petition.

Once a petition is filed, the court schedules a hearing on the matter. You’ll have to make a case that the executor has acted in a way that supports their removal from the position. Some reasons courts may remove an executor and appoint a new one include the following:

  • The executor has not upheld the wishes recorded in the will, such as not disbursing assets as the will instructs
  • The executor has not done anything at all, and enough time has passed that there’s a reasonable expectation they should have handled some tasks of estate administration
  • The executor has managed the estate very poorly, including actions such as unnecessarily wasting assets or stealing from the estate
  • The executor has a compelling conflict of interest at this time that makes them not suitable for the role
  • The executor has been convicted of a felony, which may make them ineligible for the role

The burden of proof is typically on the party filing the petition to demonstrate why the executor should be removed. The courts don’t typically remove an executor simply because there’s a minor disagreement or the beneficiaries think the executor is moving too slowly and they want their inheritance faster.

What If You Don’t Agree With the Will?

In some cases, the executor may be following the will but you don’t think it’s valid. Perhaps you believe there’s another, later will that should be followed or you don’t believe your loved one would have signed the will in question without being coerced.

In these cases, you wouldn’t challenge the executor. You would need to challenge the validity of the will. Contesting a will involves making a case in court for why the will is not valid; a probate lawyer can help you understand what your options are for making such a case. They can also file the necessary petitions and make the arguments on your behalf.

Can You Sue the Executor if They Don’t Follow the Will?

In addition to petitioning the courts to replace an executor, you might have a civil case if the executor didn’t follow the will and you can show you suffered damages related to that fact.

For example, if the executor failed to act in a responsible way when handling investments, you may be able to show that they were negligent in protecting the estate assets. If that resulted in a smaller inheritance, you might seek compensation for those losses. Or, if the executor stole from the estate or misused estate resources, you might seek compensation for what he or she took.

Whatever action you want to take in regard to an executor or a contested will, having an experienced estate attorney on your side can help increase the chances of a positive outcome. If you’re looking for help shoring up your own estate plans, need assistance with the estate administration process, or believe you have a case for replacing an executor, contact Karen Ann Ulmer, PC, attorneys at law to find out how we can help.

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What is a Master in Divorce?

The master in divorce is an experienced family law attorney appointed by the court who may help you and your spouse resolve your differences. Masters resolve contested divorce and annulment cases, including post-divorce alimony and equitable division of debts and assets. A divorce master will not provide legal advice or help you file for divorce.  

The master does most of the court’s work in a divorce case. This process aims to lessen the judges’ workload, resolve disagreements and prevent cases from going to trial. A master’s duties include conducting conferences to resolve the following issues: 

  • Equitable division, alimony changes, and child custody disputes 
  • Counsel fees, costs, and expenses 
  • Special relief and discovery (the process by which the parties exchange information, documents, and testimony before a trial)  

The master (the term “hearing officer” is used in the statute) can hear testimony and take evidence. 

How Does This Work? 

After discovery, the parties may agree on the division of your assets and debts, for example. If so, we will draft a settlement agreement outlining the agreement’s terms, file it with the court, and if all goes well, it will be part of the divorce decree. If we cannot reach an agreement, we can request a masters hearing, which may come four to six months later. 

Before the hearing, we will create a document for the court stating the relevant information in your case, including facts about you, your children, spouse, incomes, and assets. With it will be copies of relevant documents the parties exchanged during discovery. Your spouse and their attorney will do the same. The master will review both sides’ submissions before the hearing to understand the issues the two of you have resolved and those still in dispute. At the hearing, both spouses, their lawyers, and the master meet in a courthouse conference room.  

If the master feels the need, testimony would be taken to create a complete record of the relevant facts. If some facts are disputed, the master may use testimony to make credibility judgments about the parties and witnesses. 

The master makes recommendations to help the parties reach an agreement.  If you do so at the hearing, the agreement is read to a court reporter, who records it as a court transcript. The master sends the file to the judge, who signs the final decree. 

If there is no agreement at the hearing, the master writes a report with a statement of facts, conclusions of law, and a recommendation to resolve the issue. It is sent to the attorneys in the case. We would have 20 days to discuss and accept or reject it. We could also ask the master for a new hearing. If one or both sides disagree, the recommendation can be appealed, and a hearing with a judge will be requested. The judge will hear arguments on the exceptions at the hearing and issue a final decree. 

Get the Help You Need From Attorneys You Can Trust 

A divorce has many moving pieces. You can get into trouble if you do not understand how it all works together. A critical component is court procedures. You may have a strong case that should help you reach your goals, but if you do not know how the court system works, what you need to do, and who does what, you may fall far short.  

The attorneys at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can answer your questions and represent you in your divorce so you will have the best chance possible for a positive outcome. Contact us today to see how we can help.   

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How Does the Adoption Process Work in Pennsylvania?

Adoption is almost always a joyful event. Over 100,000 children are legally adopted in the United States every year. A Pennsylvania adoption attorney can explain this state’s own adoption rules to prospective adoptive parents and guide them through the adoption process.

Like almost everything else in the law, an adoption is seldom straightforward or simple in this state, so prospective adoptive parents must have the right adoption attorney protecting their rights and providing sound legal advice from the very beginning of the adoption process.

As you may already know, an adoption is permanent. Those who seek to adopt will need to comprehend – thoroughly – the gravity and magnitude of the choice they are making.

What Are the Different Types of Adoptions?

If you adopt a child in Pennsylvania, you assume legal parenthood and have the right to decide about that child’s healthcare, education, and well-being. A Pennsylvania adoption lawyer handles these types of adoptions for prospective adoptive parents:

  1. step-parent adoptions
  2. domestic adoptions (of non-related children from within the U.S.)
  3. international adoptions (of non-related children from another nation)
  4. adult adoptions in particular circumstances

What Should Prospective Parents Know?

Prospective adoptive parents in Pennsylvania need not be affluent, but they must be able to offer a stable environment and a safe home that fosters and enables a child’s physical and mental health along with the child’s social and educational needs.

If you and your spouse adopt a child, you will both become legal parents with considerable legal and financial obligations. If you and your spouse legally separate or divorce after you’ve adopted, your responsibilities to the child do not cease until that child becomes a legal adult.

What Are the Legal Requirements for Adoption?

To adopt a child in this state, by law, there are no gender, sexuality, or marital status requirements. However, particular adoption agencies may have some of their own requirements. Prospective adoptive parents should be financially, emotionally and physically ready to adopt before beginning the process.

Depending on the type of adoption, you may also have to satisfy requirements like submitting to a home study or completing parenting classes. Most prospective adoptive parents will also be subject to fingerprinting and a criminal background check.

It is illegal in this state for prospective adoptive parents to pay a birth parent any living expenses. Before you pay any of a birth mother’s expenses, please contact a Pennsylvania adoption lawyer to ensure that your adoption is handled properly and is fully compliant with the law.

Is Your Adoption Domestic or International?

Prospective adoptive parents in Pennsylvania who are not adopting a related child or a step-child may choose to work with a domestic adoption agency, pursue an international adoption, or adopt a child who is currently in the foster care system in this state.

Some of the domestic adoption agencies are “full-service” agencies that provide counseling and guidance to both birth parents and to adoptive parents as well. These domestic adoption agencies may also conduct “home studies” of individuals and couples who are seeking to adopt.

International adoptions are usually more complicated and costlier than domestic adoptions, and laws in the child’s nation of origin may apply. A birth parent, a lawyer, or a judge in the child’s nation of origin could unexpectedly delay or disrupt the process. Consult a Pennsylvania family law attorney before you take any steps regarding an international adoption.

What Are “Open” and “Closed” Adoptions?

Pennsylvania law allows for open adoptions, which maintain the lines of communication among the biological parent or parents, the adoptive parent or parents, and the adopted child.

In a closed adoption, all records of the adoption are legally and permanently sealed, and a biological parent may not under any circumstances attempt to reach, to harass, or to interfere in any way with the child or with the adoptive parents.

Adopting parents should thoroughly understand what an open adoption entails and should settle only for an agreement that they are comfortable and pleased with.

What Should Birth Parents Know?

If you are a prospective birth mother, a Pennsylvania adoption attorney can help you decide if adoption is the best choice for you and your baby. An attorney can help you understand the applicable adoption laws so that you will know your baby’s adoption is handled properly.

To complete the adoption process, birth parents must legally consent to the adoption and the termination of parental rights. This consent may only be signed seventy-two hours or more after your child has been born, and you will have thirty days to revoke your consent.

The laws that address fathers and adoption are complicated, so whether a father’s consent is required for an adoption will depend on your particular situation. An attorney will explain the details about the father’s involvement and will take the legal steps to protect you and your baby.

It does not matter what stage of pregnancy you are in or even if your baby is already born. Let an adoption lawyer discuss adoption with you and guide you through the process.

Prospective Adoptive Parents Must Be Cautious

Not all adoption agencies are professionally operated, but a good adoption lawyer will protect your interests and ensure that your adoption is conducted ethically and legally.

Seeking to adopt without an attorney’s help or without the help of an established and reliable adoption agency may make prospective parents vulnerable to adoption fraud.

Some couples have lost thousands of dollars to savvy con artists with pictures of smiling children who are supposedly waiting to be adopted. Don’t be a con artist’s victim. Have a Pennsylvania family law attorney handle your adoption from the start.

What Else Is Important to Know?

As you might expect, prospective adoptive parents will need some patience. Depending on the details of your adoption, the adoption process in Pennsylvania can take anywhere from a few weeks to a year or more.

When all of the other requirements have been satisfied, your attorney will schedule a final adoption hearing, and a Pennsylvania judge will issue a final decree that grants you full legal parental rights and completes the adoption process.

Scores of children need adoption right here in Pennsylvania; thousands more around the world also need adoption. Whether you are placing your child for adoption or seeking to adopt a child, when you are ready to begin, a Pennsylvania family law attorney will be ready to help.

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Counseling During a Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the toughest experiences a person can have. This is true even when the divorce goes rather smoothly. The reason divorce is so difficult is intimately linked to our emotions.

Love is an emotional experience. But it can be hard to maintain a relationship and over time your emotions can move from love to hate or frustration with them. This then often leads to self-doubts about ourselves. Were we not good enough people for them? Were we not good enough people for love? Do we even deserve to find love again if we’ve messed it up this time?

Dealing with questions like these is a normal, though extremely difficult, facet of going through a divorce. All of these emotions can be mixed up and confusing, especially when there was physical or mental abuse present in the marriage.

That’s why divorce counseling exists. Today we’re gonna learn what divorce counseling is, the purpose it has, and what you can expect from a divorce counselor should you decide to visit one.

What Is Divorce Counseling?

There are many different types of counseling available for a variety of different reasons. Divorce counseling is the type we use to explore, understand, recognize, and then resolve the conflicts that have arisen due to the divorce.

As a type of psychotherapy, it focuses on discussion with a trained counselor. Depending on where in the divorce process you are, you may start at a different point in counseling. For those who are just considering divorce, divorce counseling might be an option to determine if a divorce is the right choice.

A safe space is provided for individuals to discuss the challenges that they face in the relationship and their emotions, as well as their feelings about their partner as well. Your counselor will likely have some tools they can offer you to help you better manage all the emotions you are dealing with as part of the process.

Divorce counseling can be pre-divorce or post-divorce. Each presents its own issues that can be worked through and counseling can help with both.

What Is the Purpose of Divorce Counseling?

The purpose of divorce counseling, first and foremost, is to help those who are considering divorce, going through a divorce, or those who’ve just finished a divorce to better cope with their emotions during and throughout this turbulent experience.

It’s impossible to overstate how emotionally charged divorces are. Countless studies have shown that divorces bring up a range of negative emotions, even when separating from each other is the right choice to make.

The reason makes sense when you break it down. When we get married, we promise ourselves to each other until death does us part. But divorce is not death. It might be the right choice because the relationship is toxic, but it still represents a failure of the original stated goal. This can leave a lot of confusing feelings. We wonder if it was our fault or theirs. We wonder if we can ever get married again if our word, our vows, turned out not to be true.

There is an incredible amount of self-doubt involved in a divorce. This self-doubt may be mixed with anger and resentment but it is often a source of that anger and resentment rather than a separate emotional experience to it. When all sorts of emotions like these get mixed together, it can make it impossible to move forward with a divorce in a reasonable manner.

By meeting with a divorce counselor you are taking a proactive step in untangling this emotional web. As a result, you will build better tools for managing your anger, resentment, and self-doubt. These in turn can allow you to react with more calm and thoughtfulness during the divorce proceedings. Rather than just arguing and fighting because of all those pent-up emotions, you can develop the tools that allow you to deal with the situation in a healthy manner, one that allows the proceedings to move forward smoother and thus finish up quicker.

How Does Divorce Counseling Work in Practice?

Divorce counseling can be quite varied in practice. Some divorce counselors may work in a private practice while others work at a counseling center and still others only practice online. These will all function differently in the minutia, such as arriving at the practice and checking in with the receptionist or logging onto a designated website or video conferencing program.

However, the actual meetings will follow a much similar format. Your counselor will want to meet with you to get an understanding of the reasons behind the divorce. This will also allow them to get a much better sense of the situation, not just the divorce itself but where each party lies in terms of their emotions and rationalizations.

This will be done through discussion and conversation. But the conversation can actually be much broader than people expect. A divorce counselor wants more than to just help with the divorce. They want to provide you with tools and resources that will allow you to heal and grow into a stronger individual. To this end, they may teach coping skills for dealing with your emotions or offer self-care advice for individuals whose emotions make it hard for them to care for themselves. They can also help you in developing a new plan for your life now that you are going forward on your own again.

How Can I Tell If I Need Divorce Counseling?

If you are having a difficult time with the divorce then divorce counseling could help. But it may be hard to tell because everything is so stressful.

That stress is a sign that you could use counseling. Other signs include:

  • Irritability
  • Lack of appetite
  • Lack of personal hygiene
  • Destructive tendencies
  • Depression and anxiety
  • Random crying fits
  • A reliance on drugs and alcohol

These are just a few of the signs. If you are going through a divorce, chances are good that you could benefit from divorce counseling. At the very least, it is worth reaching out to a divorce counselor to ask their opinion.

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