Tag Archive for: divorce negotiations

Negotiations and Your Divorce

Ending a marriage after many years can involve complex personal and financial considerations. Here in Bucks County, PA, the property division, child custody, or spousal support process might require ongoing discussions and divorce negotiations before you and your spouse reach a consensus. 

Many couples begin negotiating and discussing the divorce settlement before actually initiating the divorce. Preparing for negotiations early and maintaining an open discussion could help speed up the process while negating the need for court intervention. 

Create Financial Disclosures With All Assets and Debts

The property division process requires the couple to divide their marital assets and debts between them so they are no longer financially entangled. Creating a detailed financial disclosure can provide a clear starting point and help both spouses maintain realistic expectations for property division. 

Pennsylvania property division involves dividing the couple’s assets fairly between them through “equitable distribution.” The spouses can consider the monetary value of all assets and debts on their list and start distributing them to each other in a way that is fair but not necessarily 100% equal. 

Brainstorm Options and Maintain Open Discussions

Divorce negotiations require both spouses to work together wherever possible and aim for a mutually beneficial agreement. This process gives divorcing couples more control than turning to a judge, who likely does not know their lives or circumstances well. 

You and your spouse can start by brainstorming options and gauging your level of agreement with each. For example, one spouse might propose giving a lump sum payment for alimony or dividing the parenting plan between weekends and weekdays. If you have trouble communicating in person, conducting these negotiations via phone or email might be more productive. 

A willingness to compromise and being open to discussions can help both spouses reach an agreement on a solution. 

Create Contingencies and Proposals

After brainstorming solutions, the couple can begin narrowing down the options into an actual divorce settlement agreement with clear terms. One spouse may create a proposal with the terms they believe should apply to the divorce, and the other spouse can choose to sign, counter, or reject the proposal. 

Creating contingencies can also be helpful during this stage. These are prearranged plans or agreements that account for future or potential problems after the divorce. They can help the couple avoid conflicts moving forward and maintain a peaceful coexistence in the necessary capacities. 

Avoid Signing Anything Without an Attorney Present 

While you and your spouse may choose to hold divorce negotiation discussions on your own, you should avoid signing any agreements or related paperwork without having an attorney review them. Settlement agreements are typically legally binding, and you do not want to risk signing something you do not fully understand or that contains hidden or confusing language that complicates the agreement. 

Divorce negotiations can be emotionally challenging, but they may be necessary if you and your spouse want to reach an agreement without involving the court. Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can provide representation during negotiations. Contact us today at (866) 349-4461 for a confidential consultation.

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What Should I Ask for When Negotiating a Divorce Settlement?

A divorce allows you to start your life over, but your old, married life will impact that new one. Think about how untangling your life from your spouse will affect you legally and financially. What will you not have, or not have enough of, to start this new life?

You can break down what to ask for in a settlement agreement regarding parental roles and property rights or prioritize your ask based on needs and wants.

What Do You Need? What Do You Want?

Think about your priorities. What do you need, and what do you want but can go without? Nearly all divorce cases are settled without going to trial. That means there will be negotiations (and possibly mediation) between you and your spouse through your attorneys.

In any negotiation, there are things that a party needs (or thinks they need) to resolve the issue. Other issues are negotiable, and you should be willing to give things up as necessary to satisfy your needs. After your needs are met, try to obtain what you want. Ideally, both sides will get most of what they need and some of what they want.

State law may entitle you to certain things. If those laws address your needs, that is great! If not, and you are willing to part with the things given to you by state law (partially or totally), they can be bargaining chips to ensure your needs are met.

It is like a chess match. You must protect your king. All the other pieces are expendable if that means you win the game. In this case, winning satisfies your needs, and you are in the best position to start your new life.

What Role Must You Play With Your Kids?

If you have kids, Pennsylvania law makes your child’s interests paramount, so what you need or want takes a back seat. State law presumes a child needs both parents in their lives.

The more time you feel you need with your child, and the more significant role you wish to play, the stronger the facts and legal arguments must be to accomplish that. Unless the other parent is irresponsible or a potential danger to your child, you may have a tough time if you feel a need to be the sole parent or the other parent should have minimal contact with their child.

Most parents meet in the middle. They share legal custody (the ability to make crucial decisions), but their physical custody or parental time may vary. One parent may spend most of the time with the child, or it may be split evenly.

What are Your Financial Needs?

The distribution of a married couple’s debts and assets is supposed to be based on what is equitable and fair, given the situation. When negotiating a settlement, there is a mix of what a person may be entitled to and what they are willing to trade with their spouse to achieve their needs and wants.

You may need more financial help in the short term, so you may forego the ongoing income of spousal support to get more cash or assets upfront. If you need the marital home, what assets will you swap to get it? Ideally, a spouse who needs the home is married to someone who wants to move away and start over, so the marital home (with all the memories that come with it) is the last thing they want.

Get the Help You Need from an Attorney You Can Trust  

If you think getting divorced may be in your future or have decided it is the next step, call us at (215) 608-1867. We can discuss your situation via teleconference, on the phone, or in our Doylestown or Langhorne office.  

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Negotiating With a Difficult Spouse

A crucial benefit of retaining us for your divorce is that we will deal with your difficult spouse (or their attorney) so you will not have to. You will make important decisions on your goals and objectives and what you are willing to sacrifice to reach them. But we will work to get you the best resolution possible, given your situation. 

Your spouse may have been difficult during your marriage or become an irritation machine as the relationship ends. You may be used to negotiating during your relationship, but this can turn far uglier during a divorce. 

Stay Above the Fray 

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. attorneys are used to tough negotiations. We have seen all the head games, power plays, distractions, and problems created to invent obstacles. Divorces can be highly emotional, and your spouse may be furious at you and the situation.  

That can play out during negotiations. Some spouses use settlement talks to try to settle scores and cause as much grief as possible. Our attorneys will deal with this and reduce its impact on you as much as we can. 

Negotiations Should Not Be a Battle of Wills 

It is normal for a party in any negotiation to use leverage to get a favorable agreement. What sets destructive negotiations apart is when one party goes to extremes to create or use that leverage to get what they want.  

Keep calm and think straight while your spouse tries to stockpile issues to hold over you. Settling a divorce should be considered a business transaction. The two of you are trading things, so you are both in a good position after the marriage ends.  

Facts and the legal issues that arise from them fuel the divorce process. We need to document your family’s debts and assets thoroughly. If your spouse owns a business, it may be used to hide assets to prevent some of them from going to you or your children. 

We may discover evidence that your spouse can not try to spin to their advantage. Facts may create a basis for legal claims that could give you leverage. As a result, your obstinate spouse may realize the cards they are holding are not nearly as good as they think. 

Pick Your Battles and Be Smart About Negotiations  

We will discuss with you what you will need after your divorce. You may achieve these non-negotiable issues because you are willing to sacrifice (or at least be flexible about) other matters. For example, you may be willing to give up claims on some assets or spousal support because you want the family house.  

Ultimately you will need to decide the outcome of complex negotiations. If your spouse makes a stink about inconsequential things, it may be best to give in. But you will also have lines that you are unwilling to cross.  

That is entirely reasonable, as long as what you are willing to go to battle for is critical to starting your life over. Do not become like your spouse – drawing uncrossable lines to create conflict and chaos to weaken and frustrate the other spouse in a battle of attrition. 

If Spouses Can Not End Their Marriage, a Judge Can Do It for Them 

Very few divorce cases go to trial. They are expensive, time-consuming, and emotional, and may force you to spend energy you would rather use on other parts of your life. But they are often the result of one or both spouses being unwilling to reasonably and sensibly negotiate a resolution to their differences.  

Contact Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., if you have questions about divorce or believe you will need legal assistance with one. Call us at (866) 311-4783 or complete our online contact form today.  

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