Divorced and Taking Your Children Out of the Country – PA Law

If you have joint custody of any children under 16, both parents must consent before taking them out of the country.

If your child does not already own a passport, Pennsylvania law requires that both parents must appear in person and provide proof of parentage to apply for the passport. In the case of divorce, a single parent may apply for the passport if he or she presents evidence of having sole legal custody or a court order permitting international travel with the children.

With joint custody, one parent has the right to oppose major decisions that pertain to the child, and this would include travel abroad, even if the child under 16 already owns a passport. If you are the one wishing to travel abroad with your child, you must obtain the written consent of your ex-spouse. This consent must be written in a manner that will be accepted at airports. If your ex is uncooperative, you may apply to the court to receive permission, but this can take time, and filing incorrectly can extend that timeframe. Whether you receive written consent or apply to the court, be sure to review your situation with an experienced family lawyer.

If your ex is trying to take your child overseas and you want to prevent it, you have the right to apply to the court to stop the travel. If your ex takes the child without your consent, you may file an international child abduction case with the U.S. State Department. But you want to avoid this since it is a long and difficult process.

One way to avoid an international abduction case is to file for a Ne Exeat bond (Latin for “that he not depart”). This bond requires the traveling parent to specify location and duration, provide contact information, and put up sufficient bond to cover the cost the non-traveling spouse would incur to try to get the child back.

Additionally, per PA law, a parent who owes $2,500 or more in child support is not eligible to receive a U.S. passport. You can also utilize the U.S. Department of State’s Children’s Passport Issuance Alert Program to flag any attempt to get a passport for your child with a fake consent form.

 

Traveling outside of the country with a child after divorce or separation requires many legal steps but can be done in a way that gives the child a positive experience while protecting the child and the rights of the parents. Given the many Pennsylvania and federal laws governing international travel with minors, we recommend that you reach out to us at Ulmer Law so that we can guide you through the process.

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How to Explain Divorce to Your Children

Divorce impacts children of different ages very differently, and the impact can be ongoing. You’ll need to be prepared for challenges, but by starting right, you can minimize the impact and speed healthy adjustment.

Both parents should tell the children together, if at all possible, and present a unified front. Plan together how you will tell the children about your divorce, what you will say, and just as importantly, what you will not say. Children of different ages can handle different information, so if you have a wide range of ages, keep it simple when telling them together and provide more details to the older ones later, or tell the older children separately so they have more time to ask questions and discuss.

Focus on what does not change: that you are still their parents, that you will both continue to love them unconditionally, and that you want to create a healthy and happy environment for them. Don’t go into details beyond their ability to understand, and don’t place blame on one spouse or the other – and don’t let them blame themselves.

With this general framework in mind, consider the needs of each child’s age-group:

Preschool/Toddlers: This age is self-focused, concrete, dependent, unable to process emotions; they need stability, consistency, and routine.

With this age-group, actions speak louder than words. They need constant reassurance, nurturing, and consistency in routine in order to feel stable and emotionally healthy. Keep your explanations short and concrete: “I’ll be moving to a different house, but I’m still your Daddy and I love you.” The mother would add, “I’ll be taking care of you and you’ll keep living here, but sometimes you’ll visit at Daddy’s house and you’ll see Daddy a lot.” Younger children will need frequent reminders and constant reassurance.

Elementary school age (6 – 12 year olds): This age wants to make sense of the situation, find reasons. Those reasons may be illogical or petty (they may remember a small incident and think that caused the divorce) or they may blame themselves. They are still mostly concrete and dependent and will want to know how it will affect their lives: school, activities, friends.

Be sure to provide some age-appropriate explanations. They will ask many questions, and here’s where your preparation will come in handy. Be prepared with answers they can understand that do not cast blame on the other parent. Try to remain calm. Emphasize it’s not their fault and that it’s okay and right to be sad, angry, confused. Keep open communication with them and watch for mood or behavior changes that can alert you to distress so you can intervene and help them cope.

Teenagers: Teens are more independent, have more external relationships to turn to, and can understand deeper causes, but still need adults to be adults so they can still be kids.

Discuss the divorce with your teens in more detail so they can understand how you’ve tried to save your marriage and why it didn’t work. Try to do so without harming the respect they have for the other parent (unless the cause of divorce is obvious, like substance abuse, adultery, or abandonment). Teens are looking to their parents as examples of adulthood. This could also mean learning from mistakes, so being honest with them about mistakes and how you could have done things differently might actually help them grow. But they still need you to be a parent and not a buddy. They may turn to peers, teachers, and/or coaches for support, but make sure they are receiving this support from positive influences and not turning to the wrong crowd of kids to cope. Consider counseling if you see personality shifts.

For any age group, it’s critical to keep the communication open. Talking to your children about your divorce consists of many small conversations, not one big one. Even if you feel they are trying to push you away or distance themselves, keep trying. They may just be testing you to see if you really love them. Show them by your words and your actions that your love for them will not change, even if other things do.

Contact us at Ulmer Law to see how we can help you through your divorce.

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Obtaining Sole Custody in PA

When determining custody arrangements in Pennsylvania, judges must hold to the standard of “best interests of the child.” Recognizing that children develop best when they have positive relationships with both father and mother, judges do not award sole custody without very strong evidence that this is best for the child.

Sole physical custody means the child lives with one parent only, although usually the other parent will have visitation rights. Sole legal custody means that one parent has complete authority to make decisions in the best interests of the child.

If you want to receive sole custody in PA, the burden is upon you to prove that it would be detrimental to the welfare of your child to live with your ex, even part-time. You will do best to discuss this with an experienced family lawyer to help you develop your case and avoid common mistakes.

Reasons for sole custody

The court will look at all factors impacting a child’s welfare: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, psychological, and moral. The judge may also consider the child’s preference, the custody of siblings, relationships with extended family, and the primary caregiver prior to the separation.

Some considerations you may need to demonstrate to the judge:

  • Ways in which the other parent is unfit – history of violence, substance abuse, neglect
  • An unhealthy environment in your ex’s home or neighborhood – friends or significant others who come to your ex’s home and who pose a threat to the child; bad neighborhood; unhygienic environment
  • Other parent’s inability to provide – the child eats poorly when with the ex; ex has too little income to support the child
  • Physical or psychological harm to the child – history of physical or emotional abuse or manipulation; immoral behavior; lack of structure or discipline when the child is with the other parent; trying to damage the child’s relationship with you
  • Lack of involvement – the other parent has shown no interest in the child’s activities, school results, etc.
  • Erratic behavior when with child – refusing to allow you contact with your child; not following agreed-upon pick-up times; taking the child out of school or away without your knowledge

Keeping records and taking action

You will need documentation and witnesses to support your claims. There are legal and illegal ways of obtaining evidence, so it’s important to talk to an expert to help you do this.

When you feel you have a case, you will need to file a complaint in the court of the county where the child resides and complete other paperwork required by that county. Your ex will then need to be served the papers. This means he or she will have to physically take the papers in hand. With an uncooperative ex, it is sometimes necessary to call on an expert who knows how to hand deliver papers and get your ex to take them. After this, a conciliator may try to get both parents to work out an arrangement. If this does not lead to an agreement between parents, you may request a trial before a judge.

How we can help

While this is probably your first time attempting to gain sole custody, here at Ulmer Law, we have handled this situation many times. We know all these steps intimately and can help you build a case for sole custody that has a greater chance of success than if you were to do this on your own. We know the law, and we know when to bring in experts to help you. Contact us today to start building your case for sole custody.

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Pennsylvania divorce: Helping the kids adjust to the changes

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Parents cannot eradicate the upheaval and upset their divorce may cause their kids, but there are things they can do to help them cope.

The Pennsylvania Department of Health reports that 33,749 couples across the state got divorced or had their marriages annulled in 2016 alone. While the breakup of a marriage may be trying for the adults involved, divorce may be particularly upsetting for the children. Although parents cannot completely alleviate the upset that the end of their marriage may cause their children, there are things they can do to help them adjust to this type of major life change.

Allow children their reactions

Not all children react in the same way or in the same timeframe to the news that their parents are getting divorced. Some may initially express feelings of anger or sadness, while others may seem ambivalent and instead only show concern for how the split will affect their day-to-day lives. This may include asking who they will live with, whether they will have to change schools and how the parenting-time schedule will work. It is important that parents reassure their kids that their feelings are normal, and encourage them to share their emotions as openly as possible.

Consistency, consistency, consistency

Their parents’ marriage coming to an end may make some children feel as though their worlds have been turned upside down. While they may not be aware of it themselves, this may cause them to crave and need structure even more than normal. As such, it is suggested that parents try to maintain their children’s routines as much as possible during and after a divorce. Additionally, they should attempt to keep the same rules in both parents’ homes and stick to them. Relaxing the rules or completely altering kids’ schedules may lead to insecurities, and inhibit, rather than support, their coping and adjustment to the changes.

Keep the kids out of adult matters

As parents work through the issues that must be settled during a divorce, it may lead to adult discussions or arguments. While this is to be expected, it may cause problems for children’s adjustment if it takes place in front of them. Thus, parents are advised to talk about difficult matters, like child support or alimony, over the phone or when their kids are not around. Further, it is recommended that people refrain from talking badly about their exes in front of their children, asking their kids for information about their other parents or otherwise using their children against their former spouses.

Ask for help

Given time and the support they need, many children rebound from their parents’ divorce and move forward. In some cases, however, kids may need additional help dealing with their feelings and the changes. Should children show signs of distress or seem to otherwise be struggling to cope, parents may consider using the services of a professional, such as their kids’ pediatrician or a counselor. It may also be helpful for people to clue their children’s teachers in to what is going on so that they can aid in monitoring how they are adjusting.

Without contention or complications, Pennsylvania divorces may be challenging enough for families to get through and move on from. However, when the process is drawn out, it may be even more traumatizing for those involved and cause lasting fractures within the family. Therefore, those who are considering a divorce or whose spouses have already filed may find it of benefit to consult with an attorney. A lawyer may not only explain their options and the legal process, but also aid them in negotiating and resolving their cases.

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Consents Necessary to Adoption

Before an adoption can be finalized, certain parties must consent to the adoption. Pursuant to 23 Pa. C.S. Section 2711, a consent must be signed by the following individuals where applicable: (1) the child(ren) being adopted if over 12 years of age; (2) the spouse of the adopting parent if that spouse is not also a petitioner; (3) the natural parent(s) of any minor child(ren) being adopted; (4) the guardian of an incapacitated child up for adoption; and (5) the guardian of a minor child or persons having custody when the adoptee has no parent whose consent is required. Only the consent of the adoptee is needed for an adult adoption. Consents of the natural parents should include the date, full address of place of execution, and be witnessed by two adults whose name, address and relationship to the person executing the consent are provided.

It is good practice to also have the consent notarized and the notary’s complete address should be included. Another practical tip is to be careful who you select as a witness. The persons witnessing the consents may be called upon in court to testify as to the circumstances under which the consent was executed. The court must be satisfied that there was no fraud or duress and the person executing the consent was of sound mind. The best witnesses will be impartial and credible witnesses with no interest whatsoever in the outcome of the adoption. A consent executed outside of Pennsylvania can be valid here if executed in accordance with the laws of the other jurisdiction.

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Adopting Multiple Children

Where parent(s) are adopting more than one child, most of the adoption procedures are the same. The home study will be waived if it is a kinship adoption. If a home study is required find an approved social worker or contact your local Children & Youth services agency. Background checks will be required for the adopting parent(s). Presently, there are three background checks required: (1) Child Abuse History Clearance; (2) PA State Police Criminal Record Check; and (3) FBI Criminal Background Check through the Department of Welfare. The rights of the natural parent(s) must be terminated in connection with the adoption. This may entail multiple petitions for termination of rights depending on whether the adoptees have the same parents.

If the natural parents are consenting to the adoption, their consents can be attached to the Petition for Adoption. There must be at least thirty (30) days between when the consents are signed and when they are attached to the Petition for filing since there is a thirty (30) day revocation period. Proceedings for adoption by the same adopting parent(s) of more than one child of the same natural parents can be joined in one petition and heard in one hearing, but separate final decrees of adoption shall be prepared and entered for each child to preserve anonymity.

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FAQs on escaping an abusive marriage

Victims of domestic abuse may need help from others to get a divorce. It can also help to create an escape plan and seek a protective order.

For countless people in Pennsylvania and elsewhere, marriage is a nightmare that they may feel they can never escape. Tragically, domestic violence affects millions of men, women and children every year. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in three women and one in four men will be abused by an intimate partner at some point during their lives. The problem is so serious, in fact, that 15 percent of all violent crimes are committed by abusers against their partners. The following questions address some that abuse victims are likely to ask when preparing to end a marriage.

IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ALWAYS PHYSICAL?
In many cases, an abuser physically strikes or otherwise causes bodily harm to his or her victim. However, domestic abuse may be emotional, psychological, sexual or financial. Abusers often resort to threats and manipulation to maintain control over their victims. They may restrict their partners from seeing their family members or friends; prevent them from having access to the phone, Internet or the car; and not allow them to work or have any money. Non-violent abusive relationships do not always escalate to physical violence, but often they do.

HOW CAN I ESCAPE AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE?
It is rarely easy to escape an abusive relationship; this is why it is important to create an escape plan. The National Domestic Violence Hotline suggests implementing the following type of plan:

• Enlisting the help of trusted loved ones

• Keeping emergency cash, clothing and documents in a safe place that the abuser does not know about

• Documenting evidence of physical injuries and keeping a journal of the abuser’s behavior

• Memorizing the phone numbers and addresses of abuse shelters and law enforcement offices

It may also be a good idea at this point to seek a protection order.

WHAT IS A PROTECTIVE ORDER AND HOW DOES IT WORK?
A family law court can issue a protective order to abuse victims that extends certain legal protections. While the order is in effect, the abuser will not be allowed to approach or contact the victims. This may give the victim time to get to a safe place and to begin divorce proceedings. Protective orders are not initially permanent. Both sides will be given the chance to tell their side in court, and a judge can then decide if additional protection is necessary.

You are likely to need professional assistance to leave an abusive marriage. This may include help from law enforcement and abuse counselors. A Pennsylvania family law attorney with experience in domestic violence cases can also be an invaluable ally. Your attorney may be able to help you obtain a protective order, as well as start you on the road to freedom from abuse.

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Child custody matters in Pennsylvania

Divorce is hard on everyone, but it can be particularly difficult for the children. Young children especially have a difficult time understanding what is going on during divorce and may even feel as if they did something wrong. It is also hard for parents to get used to being away from their children sometimes. In many cases, there will be times when the children will be spending time, maybe even weeks or months, with the other parent. This is why it is important for parents to understand how custody laws work and what their options are. Generally, Pennsylvania law governs child custody and visitation when Pennsylvania is the child’s home state.

How is custody decided in Pennsylvania?

There are two main types of custody in Pennsylvania. Legal custody refers to the authority to make major decisions for the child including religious, educational and medical decisions. Physical custody refers to where the children will actually live. State law also allows for partial custody, which means the right to have the child reside with the noncustodial parent away from the custodial parent for a specific period of time.

Custody may be shared, meaning that both parents have legal or physical custody of the child. This will allow the child to have continuing contact with both parents. If parents do not have shared custody, the other parent may have visitation rights. If a parent has visitation rights, that parent has the right to visit the child but not necessarily the right to take the child from the control of the custodial parent.

To determine how custody is awarded, the court will look at the best interests of the child. The parents may come to an agreement themselves, but the court will always look at the best interests of the child before approving the agreement. The best interests of the child include such things as the physical and mental fitness of the parents, insofar as they affect the child, the ability to allow the child to continue to maintain a relationship with the other parent’s extended family, the preference of the child if the child is mature enough, opportunities for visitation and whether there is a history of abandonment or domestic violence. The court will look at each family as the individual unit that it is.

Can custody be modified?

Custody orders can be modified, but the court must be presented with evidence as to why the order should be modified. The parent wishing to modify the order must prove to the court why it has to be modified. The court generally favors stability for the child, and the parent must show that there is something in the home environment that negatively affects the child’s wellbeing. There must be a substantial change in circumstances and the best interests of the child that should require a change in custody.

Anyone dealing with child custody issues in Pennsylvania should contact an experienced family law attorney. These issues are hard to deal with on one’s own, and the resolutions of the issues are of utmost importance. An attorney can help parents dealing with child custody matters achieve their goals.

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The differences between separate and marital property

When going through a divorce, people should be aware of the differences between marital and separate property.

Filing for divorce in Pennsylvania or anywhere across the country for that matter is not always a simple process. There are many issues that must be negotiated before the final divorce settlement is created and approved. One of the most difficult tasks for people to accomplish is that of dividing the marital property. Determining who is entitled to what after years of marriage can be hard, as there may be strong emotional ties to certain items. It is important for people who are entering into the divorce process to understand the differences between marital and separate property so that they are more likely to receive everything they are entitled to in the settlement.

A look at marital property

In addition to the family home, vehicles, furniture and other basic items, marital property includes a wide- range of items, including any assets and property that were amassed throughout the marriage. Marital property also includes, but is not limited to the following:

· Lottery tickets winnings and income tax refunds.

· Memberships to exclusive country clubs and golf courses.

· Collections, such as antiques, cars, coins, stamps, art and books.

· Intellectual property, such as trademarks, copyrights, patents and royalties.

· Term life insurance

· Gifts given to one another during the marriage.

Furthermore, if one spouse lent money to someone during the marriage, that money is subject to division once it is paid back.

Not everything is marital

In some cases, people may have separate property, which is not eligible for division in a divorce settlement. Separate property includes items that were owned by either party prior to becoming married, such as real estate or assets. Any inheritance money, gifts given by a third-party or personal injury compensation that was awarded to either party before, during or after the marriage is also considered separate property.

There are some instances where marital property may be divided between a couple. For example, if the title of a property was in the original owner’s name, but he or she had it revised to include the other spouse’s name, it is no longer considered separate property. Similarly, if separate money belonging to one spouse is deposited into a joint bank account with the other spouse’s name attached, that money may become marital and eligible for division.

Upholding your rights

Going through the divorce process can be extremely emotional, making it difficult to make decisions that will affect your future. An attorney may be helpful in answering your questions, giving you essential information and assisting you throughout the divorce process.

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Adoption Appeals

Decrees in adoption matters are permanent in nature. If you disagree with the entry of a decree in an adoption case, you need to file an appeal right away to preserve your right to contest. The rules for appeal in an adoption matter follow the general rules for appeal meaning you have thirty days from the date of the Order to file an appeal. Notice of appeal should be filed with the court where the matter was heard. Any applicable filing fee is due to the court at the time of filing. If applicable, you will need to order the transcript from the hearing resulting in the Order you are appealing. There is a cost for the transcript as well which varies depending on the length of the proceedings. You should get in touch with the court reporter or court administration to order a copy of the transcript.

If your appeal is timely filed with requisite documents, the appellate court will contact you regarding next steps in the appeal process. For a contested adoption, often the relevant appeal date would be within thirty (30) days of the decree terminating parental rights. This may be an earlier date than the decree of adoption. Generally, a subsequent adoption hearing would be scheduled at least thirty (30) days after a decree is entered terminating parental rights to account for the appeal window. If you have voluntarily terminated your rights by consenting to the adoption, there is a thirty-day window from when you signed the consent to change your mind. You must revoke your consent in writing and deliver to the party filing for adoption and the county court within the initial thirty days. After that initial thirty-day period the consent becomes irrevocable.

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