Adoptions for Same Sex Couples

Now that Pennsylvania recognizes same-sex marriages, same-sex partners can also benefit from the simpler process of a kinship or step-parent adoption. This means no home study is required. The adopting parent would still complete the requisite background checks. At the adoption hearing the court will verify that all requirements for an adoption have been met. The adopting parent(s) should be prepared to indicate their understanding of the responsibility they are taking on as parents.

For couples conceiving using assisted reproductive technology, it may be possible to have your name included in your child’s birth certificate prior to finalization of the adoption hearing. Specifically, for female same-sex couples where one partner is the birth mother, the other partner’s name can be included in on the birth certificate so long as they are married. However, having your name on the birth certificate is not necessarily enough to protect your rights as a parent so you are advised to still consult with an attorney regarding adoption as soon as possible.

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Where to File for Adoption

An adoption petition can be filed in a number of places depending on the circumstances of your case. Pursuant to 23 P.A. CS 2302, an adoption may be brought in the county where the parent(s) reside, where the adoptee resides, where an office is located for an agency having custody of the adoptee, or with leave of court, where the adoptee formerly resided. Section 2301 dictates that each county shall exercise jurisdiction through the appropriate division for adoption matters. In Pennsylvania, it is the Orphans’ Court that regularly handles adoption matters. In New Jersey, it is the Surrogates’ office.

Each county has their own local rules and forms to be used in an adoption matter. Additionally, each county sets their own fee schedule in terms of what filing fees will be due and for which pleadings. The cost and procedure for a home study, where necessary, also varies by county. Finally, the wait for a hearing is longer in some counties than others based on the overall volume of cases to be heard and the number of sitting Judges. All of the above may be reasons to consider in determining where to file an adoption petition.

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Adoption Hearing

One of the final steps in the adoption process is the adoption hearing. The hearing is often ceremonial in nature. It is common for family and friends to attend along with the prospective adoptee parents. The adoptee(s) must be present as well. At the hearing, the Petitioners should be prepared to show all legal requirements for an adoption have been met. Any documents that were attached to your original petition or subsequently filed with the court should already be in the court file (i.e. original birth certificate, background checks, home study report.) Additional requirements may include service on the opposing party in which case you should be sure to have valid proof of service with you for your hearing.

As adoption is permanent, there are some questions to make sure the prospective adoptive parents understand exactly what they are taking on. For example, prospective parents will be asked if they understand the adoption confers all the legal rights and duties between a parent and child that the law provides for natural born children. Those rights and duties include, but are not limited to, the right of the child to inherit through you and your family, the legal obligation to financially support the child, the right of the child to seek support from you, the principle that these rights and duties would continue if you and your spouse separate or divorce as well as if the child develops any physical, psychological problems or becomes ill or disabled for any reason in the future.

The Judge presiding over the case will often allow for pictures at the conclusion of the proceedings. As a family member or friend, you can bring gifts or card however, the court has a strict no balloon policy. After receiving the final decree of adoption, you can follow up with getting a new birth certificate for the adoptee.

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What If Your Ex Hid Money During the Divorce?

While the law requires both spouses to disclose all assets and liabilities with an accurate estimation of value for distribution between spouses, it’s not uncommon for someone to try to hide the actual worth of their property.

This is, of course, illegal. But if the lie isn’t caught, the lying spouse gets to keep more of his or her money. The other spouse thus gets less money at settlement and also possibly less child support or alimony.

Common ways to hide property

There are many creative ways to hide money from your spouse, and those of us who have been in divorce law for a number of years have seen some surprising schemes. But most people try one or more of the following:

  • Transferring real estate or other property into the name of a friend or family member
  • Making large purchases to resell at a premium after the divorce
  • Asking friends or family to hold onto valuables like art or jewelry, to be collected after the divorce
  • Hiding cash away, either under the proverbial mattress or in an account or box in someone else’s name – via a large cash withdrawal from a joint account, many small withdrawals over a period of time, or unreported income from a cash business
  • Deflating one’s income. A self-employed person can easily do this with creative bookkeeping, or a boss might agree to a temporary demotion or false reporting. The spouse might also add more to the 401K or inflate withholdings
  • Postponing of income until after the divorce. This could be by asking the boss to delay a bonus or by not submitting reimbursement reports in a timely manner
  • Depositing and then withdrawing money from children’s custodial accounts
  • Paying off phony debts to a friend or family member
  • Understating the value of property
  • Hiding money or property offshore
  • Overstating debts

What to do if you suspect dishonesty

It’s best to catch this sort of illegal behavior during the divorce proceedings, because the spouse who suspects cheating can petition the court to subpoena the employer for all employee records as well as the banks for all their information.  After the divorce, it is difficult to reopen the case, especially in equitable distribution states, such as Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

But if the divorce is final and you have recently found out your ex lied to you and to the court, don’t despair. Contact an experienced divorce lawyer. Your lawyer will help you construct as strong a case as possible. You may have to hire a private investigator and/or a forensic accountant. The investigator may use surveillance and online research to uncover evidence of fraud, while the forensic accountant will scrutinize any documentation available, looking into unexpected corners to uncover what’s been hidden.

There can be stiff penalties for hiding property in a divorce case. If you’re thinking of doing it, don’t. But if you suspect your ex undervalued his/her worth, talk to one of our experts to see what we can do to help you.

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The Effects of Divorce on Men and Women

Divorce affects every aspect of a person’s life: economic, physical, emotional, and social. Men and women experience these changes differently, however. If you are divorcing, it’s best to know what to expect so you can develop a strategy that will help you through the process with the least harm to your health and well-being.

Economic

It’s probably no surprise that women tend to fare worse economically after a divorce than men do. Since often women are awarded custody of the children, they make career decisions centered around the care of the children. Women often do not pursue career advancement and may even choose lower-paying jobs with more flexibility so they will be more available for the children. They also have many expenses associated with child-rearing, and although settlements are supposed to consider these factors, they rarely compensate sufficiently, nor do they consider the mother’s decreased earnings potential. Divorce is a major factor in the slip into poverty for many women and children.

Conversely, the husband’s economic position usually improves upon divorce, because he has fewer financial responsibilities and does not have to make career decisions based on child-rearing limitations. However, studies show that this is the only way in which men fare better than women in divorce. In all other areas, women fare better.

Physical

Divorced men have a higher mortality rate than married men or divorced women, and have a greater decline in health than both. Since wives often encourage their husbands to engage in healthy choices of food and activity, divorced men, now without wives to encourage them and with the increased stress of divorce, may fall into bad eating patterns, gain weight, turn to alcohol and drugs, and have increased incidence of heart attacks and stroke.

Emotional

Wives tend to make close relationships outside their home, while husbands usually just socialize with their wives. For this reason, when divorce happens, the wife has friends and family to turn to, while the husband often feels very isolated.

Women are also more likely to seek emotional or psychological support from friends or professional counselors to help them through the grief or anger of divorce. Men, however, are more likely to skip the grieving process and internalize their pain. Men, in general, are less likely to discuss their feelings, and when they do, they usually just talk to their wives. Divorced men no longer have that support. To cope, they may turn to alcohol or drugs.

Divorced men report a lower sense of well-being after divorce and are more likely to have thoughts of suicide than divorced women are.

Social

Because men are lonely and skip the grieving process, they jump into new relationships faster than women do. Women take the time to understand their feelings and often evaluate what went wrong. They don’t rush into new relationships and they make better choices than men do, which often results in staying single. Men remarry more often, but second marriages have an even higher divorce rate than first marriages.

Divorced mothers feel more fulfilled in their motherhood than divorced fathers feel in their fatherhood. Since fathers usually do not get full custody, they miss their children. They miss the sporting events, the school events, even helping with homework. And since they are not as adept at communication as women are, they’re less likely to pick up the phone, talk to the kids, and ask them how their day was. This causes even more drifting apart, which further damages the man’s emotional and physical health.

Limiting the negative effects

If you cannot reconcile your differences and are on the path to divorce, consider closely the possible effects of the divorce on your life, your spouse’s life, and the lives of your children. Try to create a plan together to avoid as much pain as possible. Talk to your divorce attorney. We deal with these situations frequently and may be able to help handle the procedure and settlement in a way that will avoid many of these negative consequences for you and your family.

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Marital vs. Non-Marital Property

When most people think of property, they think only of assets, but debts are also considered property for the purpose of a divorce settlement. In order to divide assets and debts between the spouses, a thorough listing and determination of status is needed. That status can be marital, non-marital, or a combination of the two.

If the couple cannot decide on the division of property, a judge will do so. Pennsylvania and New Jersey are Equitable Distribution states, which means the judge divides the marital property based on what he or she considers fair. The criteria can include earnings of each spouse, length of marriage, health of the spouses, and minor children.

Marital Property – Marital property will be the bulk of your property. A partial list includes:

 

  • Assets acquired or debts incurred during the marriage
  • Gifts from one spouse to the other
  • Benefits from retirement accounts, pension, insurance plans, etc.
  • Benefits from reward programs, such as frequent flyers, etc.
  • Electronic online storage or entertainment (iCloud, iTunes, Netflix, etc.)

A recent blog provides a list of shared accounts to include when listing your assets.

Non-Marital Property – The list of possible non-marital property is short. It includes:

 

  • Assets acquired or debts incurred prior to the marriage
  • Inheritance
  • Gifts received from someone other than the spouse
  • Assets (or liabilities) with a written agreement clearly stating the property is non-marital

When Non-Marital Can Also Be Marital Property

Things are not always as they seem, and just because a spouse had property before marriage doesn’t mean it will remain entirely non-marital property. Here are just a few possible scenarios for each of the types of non-marital property:

 

  • Asset: If one spouse owned the house or a business before marriage, but both spouses worked to pay off the mortgage or grow the business, a portion of the value of the house or business would be considered marital property.
  • Debt: If one spouse incurred student loans before marriage, but the education led to a lucrative job that benefited both spouses, a portion of the debt could be considered marital property.
  • Inheritance or gift: If an inheritance or gift was used to upgrade the family home or purchase property that would generate income for the family, the clear intention was to treat the inheritance as a marital asset.

How to Protect Non-Marital Property

If you want to protect your non-marital property, you can arrange a prenuptial agreement. Such agreements can also be drawn up after marriage, designating specific assets or liabilities that both parties wish to be considered non-marital. These agreements can be challenged if subsequent use of the property suggests marital use, as described above, but the challenging party would have to provide a very strong case to overturn a written agreement.

Division of marital property is best resolved with a professional who is experienced in helping couples come to equitable and amicable agreements. Such an agreement will avoid giving a judge the power to decide for you.

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Home Studies

If you are adopting a child that is not related or not within the categories of relation qualifying as a kinship adoption, you will need to have a home study completed as part of the adoption process. You should have your requisite background checks completed prior to or in connection with requesting your home study as the reports will need to be reviewed by your social worker. In Bucks County, you can apply for a home study by filing a request for a preplacement home study. There is a filing fee due at the time of filing the request. Presently, it is $650.

In Montgomery County Children and Youth will only conduct home studies for adoptions through their foster care program. If you are doing a private adoption outside of the foster care system, you will need to complete the home study through an authorized social worker. A list of social workers authorized to conduct home studies for the county is available through the Orphan’s Court. The time to complete the home study is likely a few months. Cost for the home study can vary but averages close to $1,000. Montgomery County usually requires two post-placement visits as well which can be at a separate cost than the initial home study. Presuming your home study report is positive and supports the adoption, you can move forward with the final adoption hearing.

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College Scholarships and Divorce – Who Has to Pay?

We wrote a recent blog about children’s student loans and divorce. But what about children’s scholarships? How are those handled?  

Unlike other states, parents in PA do not have a financial obligation to pay college tuition.  However, to reduce conflict, you may want to negotiate tuition payments as part of your divorce process.  The effect of scholarships on college costs should be part of the negotiations before settlement. A “motion to modify” can be filed afterwards, but this can be a difficult and time-consuming process, so it is best if all contingencies are considered before the divorce is settled. Here we will consider several possible scenarios.

GI Bill

A parent who has been in the military is able to transfer his or her Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits to a spouse or child, under certain circumstances. If the military person is the father, for instance, he may negotiate that this will cover his portion of college expenses for several children, or perhaps decrease child support payments. But since the transfer can be revoked at any time while he is still on active duty, a settlement or final judgment must either prohibit the revoking of the transfer or provide for compensation in the way of payment, alimony, or another benefit of equal or greater value.

Parent works for a university

Universitites often offer significant tuition discounts to their employees’ children. This should also be part of the settlement. Contingencies must also be included in case the parent leaves the university, changes universities, or the child does not wish to attend that university where their parent works. In these cases, what is each parent’s responsibility? And will the discount reduce just that parent’s educational responsibilities, or will the benefits be spread between the two parents? These and other questions need to be considered and answered in the settlement.

Other scholarships

Additional scholarships are available as well, including many scholarships for the children of divorced parents. The divorcing couple needs to decide how this will impact the final amount each one is responsible for. If one parent works diligently with the child to find as many scholarships as possible and the other parent does nothing, do the scholarships benefit just the parent who worked so hard or do they reduce the responsibility of both parents?

There are no set laws regarding division of the benefits of scholarships, therefore this needs to be carefully reviewed and defined in the divorce settlement. We at Ulmer Law have extensive experience helping parents navigate all the intricate details involved in creating a settlement that provides for their children as best they can while covering their own assets. Contact us for a consultation.


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If Your Spouse Won’t Agree to a Divorce in Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania is unusual among states in that it still has both no-fault and fault divorce options on the books. The many issues regarding divorce in PA are defined in Pennsylvania Statutes Title 23 Pa.C.S.A. Domestic Relations, Part IV.

Uncontested Divorce

There are two no-fault, or uncontested, options: Mutual Consent and Irretrievable Breakdown.

Mutual Consent: In Mutual Consent Divorce, both spouses file affidavits requesting a divorce. There is a 90-day minimum waiting period, and then if they still both agree, the divorce can be finalized.

Irretrievable Breakdown: When a marriage has severely deteriorated, under the “irretrievably broken” grounds for divorce, spouses must live “separate and apart for a period of at least one year.” After separation, only one party needs to file an affidavit, indicating the date at which the separation began and that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.” The affidavit must be filed in court and served to the spouse, who has 40 days to contest or to argue for economic relief. If the served spouse does not respond in time, the divorce can be finalized by only one party.

Contested Divorce

Pennsylvania Law cannot force a spouse to sign divorce papers. If a spouse contests the divorce or denies separation, then the other spouse may be forced to file a “fault” divorce. The grounds under which such a claim can be made in Pennsylvania are defined in 23 Pa.C.S. § 3301(a) and (b):

1.       Willful and malicious desertion

2.       Adultery

3.       Cruel and barbarous treatment, endangering life or health of injured and innocent spouse

4.       Bigamy

5.       Imprisonment for more than 2 years

6.       Intolerable and burdensome indignities to spouse

7.       Institutionalization in a mental institution at least 18 months prior to and

expected subsequent to filing

If your spouse will not leave the family home and thus initiate the separation, under 23 Pa.C.S. § 3502(c)  you can file for exclusive possession of the family home.

Talk to a trusted advisor who is an expert in divorce and family law to help determine what steps you need to take. We help people every day to get through this difficult process and start fresh. Call us for a consultation.


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Shared Accounts and your Divorce

Digital technology has advanced at such a rapid pace and has permeated so many aspects of our lives that you don’t realize how many ways you’re dependent on it until you have to separate your digital world from the partner with whom you’ve shared it.

Chances are, you’ve disclosed much or all of your personal information to your spouse, and you two have many shared accounts. You need to do several things, ASAP.

  • Change the passwords on your personal accounts, and choose more unusual identifying questions. Your spouse probably knows your mother’s maiden name or the street you grew up on. Destroy any password lists you may have made, whether on your computer or on paper.
  • On accounts that you share but can easily be divided, create your own separate accounts or remove your spouse’s ability to access them.
  • On accounts that you may need to continue to share, set up separate access information. List shared accounts that primarily belong to your spouse or that may have monetary value and give it your attorney. If your spouse locks you out and you feel you should have access, your attorney will have the necessary information.
  • Transfer your own sensitive data from your home computer and shared gadgets, then permanently delete it. You may need to wipe those files from the machine. If you must continue to use that machine, create your own personal username and keep the password secret.
  • Secure your gadgets and those of your children, if you have custody. Remember, whatever your children have access to, your spouse may also have access to, especially when they are visiting. Make sure there are no spy apps or keyloggers on your gadgets, and turn off the “Find My Friends” tracking system. You can also back up all of your information on your gadget and do a full factory reset.  
  • If you’re connected with your ex on any of your social media accounts and you don’t want him or her to see your accounts anymore, make sure you block him or her.

Here is a partial list of the kinds of digital shared accounts you may need to consider:

 

  • Financial accounts, such as bank, credit card, investment, taxes, and retirement accounts (You may need to talk to an attorney about how to handle these.)
  • Insurance accounts (home, car, life, medical)
  • Access to your children’s schools’ parent portals or student portals
  • Medical records
  • Online storage, such as iCloud, Google docs, iTunes, photo storage, computer backup accounts
  • Online rewards, such as frequent flyer miles or credit card points Online entertainment services, such as Netflix, Hulu, ebooks on Kindle, etc.
  • Family email and social media accounts
  • Shared household accounts, such as phone service, amazon account, food delivery service, and any other services with whom you’ve contracted
  • Google calendar
  • Virtual property

Again, this is only a partial list. We try to go over the most common shared accounts with our clients and encourage quick action, but look closely at your digital activity and try to find all the ways you use digital space. Take action on those joint accounts that are clearly yours, and talk to us about the best way to handle the rest.


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