Stepchild Custody Issues

When divorcing, stepparents are often conflicted about maintaining a relationship with their stepchildren. If you have known your stepchildren for a long time and/or were a significant part of their lives, you may want to continue those relationships after the divorce.  

Does a divorce end a spouse’s role in raising a stepchild? Not necessarily. Although uncommon, a judge may order a stepparent to have custody of a child after a divorce if they find it is in the child’s best interest. A judge can also order that a stepparent have visitation with a stepchild to maintain the relationship.  

Who Qualifies as a Stepchild? 

A stepchild is your spouse’s child by a former partner. So if you marry, and your new spouse already has a child, you are a stepparent.   

What is Child Custody? 

Child custody gives a person certain rights concerning a child. The adults involved can agree to a custody arrangement (which needs a judge’s approval), or the issue can be litigated. There are two different types of custody:  

  • Physical: The adult’s right to have the child spend time or live with them. This custody could be sole (one person has full custody), primary (the child lives primarily with you), shared, or partial (also known as visitation rights). 
  • Legal: This allows the adult to make essential decisions for a child. This can include medical, educational, religious, legal, and other issues impacting the child’s well-being. There is either sole or shared legal custody.

A judge’s primary concern when deciding who should have what kind of custody is what is in the child’s best interests. State statute lists 16 factors a judge may consider when deciding this issue, and they are free to consider others depending on the case’s facts. 

These types of cases are filed by unmarried couples, or married couples separating or divorcing. 

Could a Stepparent Have Custody of a Stepchild After Divorcing the Child’s Parent? 

If there is a custody dispute between a parent and a nonparent, the law presumes the parent should get custody. This presumption can be rebutted by clear and convincing evidence. For instance, if the parent (s) have a serious substance abuse issue (alcoholism, drugs, or other addiction), have neglected the child in some way, or are not able to care for the child, then a stepparent may obtain custody.  

You may be awarded custody depending on your involvement in the child’s life. If you stand in loco parentis (in place of the parent) for the child, you can seek custody rights. This legal status occurs if you help raise the child without a formal adoption, and a biological parent is not part of their life.  

A judge may consider:  

  • How long you have acted in loco parentis 
  • Your level of parenting involvement 
  • How independent you are when acting as a parent 
  • The child’s emotional dependence on you and whether the child sees you as a parent 

Judges have wide latitude, but not total discretion, when making these decisions. 

Can a Divorcing Stepparent Who Adopted Their Stepchild Get Child Custody Rights? 

If you formally adopted your stepchild, you are then their legal parent. As such, you have the same rights and obligations as a biological parent, so you can seek custody of the child if you are divorcing or separating from your spouse. Adoption of a stepchild is a common practice. It usually happens when both biological parents consent. It may also occur if a court involuntarily terminates a parent’s parental rights. 

Adoption empowers a stepparent to make legal and medical decisions concerning a stepchild. You would be legally obligated to care for a child if your spouse becomes incapacitated or dies. Adoption also puts you in a stronger position to seek child custody rights if the marriage ends in a divorce. 

Child Custody Lawyers You Can Trust   

Whether you are a stepparent seeking child custody rights or a parent who wants to prevent that from happening, Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. lawyers may be able to help you reach your goals. If you have questions about child custody or need legal representation, call us at (215) 752-6200 today.  

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International Divorces and Some of the Challenges the Parties Face

Bucks County and Central New Jersey have large immigrant communities, so it is not unusual for another country’s laws to impact the divorce of someone living here. No matter where the parties are or whose laws are used, the more reasonable and cooperative the spouses are, the easier the process.  

If you believe your spouse may file for divorce and/or child custody in another country, it is critical that we speak immediately to protect your rights as soon as possible. In the meantime, it is best to gather all of your IDs (and those of your children) and place them somewhere for safekeeping. Do not allow your spouse to take your children out of the country. 

What is an International Divorce? 

Another country’s laws may apply to a divorce, depending on the circumstances. When this happens, it is considered an international divorce. International divorces involve spouses married in another country or one or both of them: 

  • Live in another country 
  • Own property in another country 
  • Are another country’s citizens 

If you think you fall into this situation, contact our office immediately. International divorces can be like a complex machine. You do not want to get caught up in the gears, and what you do and when may impact the outcome. 

Why File for Divorce in One Country and Not the Other? 

Part of a country’s culture is its view of marriage, parenthood, and the equality (or lack thereof) between the sexes. That affects their laws. A country may provide less legal protection and rights to a wife than a husband when they divorce.  

Someone may file for divorce in their home country, not the US because they think the laws there are tilted in their favor. They believe it will be easier to get what they want through a trial or they believe the foreign country’s laws will give them negotiation leverage. 

Who Has Jurisdiction? 

The courts of more than one country may claim jurisdiction or the ability to decide the matter. Each country has its own laws and court processes. Every divorce issue can be impacted, whether that is child custody, child support, alimony, or division of assets and debts. 

One factor is where the initial filing was made. But it is not just a race to the courthouse. To have jurisdiction, the country where papers are filed must meet two requirements: 

  • It must recognize your marriage exists. In the US, most marriages that are legally entered into in another country are recognized. That is not always true in other countries, especially if a spouse wants a divorce in their same-sex marriage.  
  • The party filing the divorce must satisfy the country’s residency requirements. For example, if you do not live, and never have lived, in France, filing for a divorce in France would be a waste of time.

A “dual filing” occurs when one spouse files in the US and the other files in another country. US courts will consider several issues when they decide if they have jurisdiction: 

  • Where is the property at issue?  
  • Does the foreign court have a greater interest in the divorce? If so, what is it? 
  • Does at least one spouse live in the state where the divorce was filed? 
  • If it is a fault-based divorce or if evidence is needed in the case, which jurisdiction is where more evidence is located?  
  • Will the spouse living in the US face considerable hardships if forced to participate in the foreign jurisdiction? 

International divorces can involve complex issues, and judges may be forced to make difficult decisions.  

Jurisdiction is Only the Beginning 

No matter where proceedings occur, jurisdiction only allows a court to make decisions. What is left are the other issues in dispute. After the divorce is finally adjudicated, there are other potential problems when a party tries to enforce a divorce order from one country in another country. 

Get the Help You Need from an Attorney You Can Trust  

If an international divorce might be in your future, call us at (215) 608-1867 or schedule a consultation online now. You do not have time to waste, and you must make informed decisions to get the best outcome. We can discuss your situation over the phone, via a teleconference, or meet in our Langhorne or Doylestown office.  

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The Mental Health Impact of Divorce and How You Can Cope

Ending a marriage can be emotionally devastating, leaving individuals grappling with a range of complex feelings. Divorce can trigger a rollercoaster of what may be overwhelming emotions. If you are in an abusive relationship, divorce may result in feelings of relief and happiness. On the other hand, the abrupt change in life circumstances and the end of what you once thought would be a life-long relationship can lead to a profound sense of loss. You may experience grief, anger, guilt, sadness, and fear. 

A sense of rejection and failure can contribute to damaged self-esteem. You may find yourself questioning your worth and struggling to redefine your identity outside your marriage. This emotional turmoil can extend to various aspects of life, seeping into your personal and professional lives. 

Mental Health Consequences 

One of divorce’s most challenging emotional aspects is a sense of isolation. Family and friends may not understand the depth of your emotional pain, and you may be hesitant to open up. The result can be profound loneliness, which may lead to more serious mental health issues. 

Divorce’s emotional toll can have lasting effects on mental health, contributing to anxiety and depression. The stress and uncertainty surrounding divorce proceedings can lead to sleep disturbances, appetite changes, and difficulty concentrating. 

Coping Strategies 

While the road to a post-divorce recovery may seem long and winding, you can take steps to safeguard your mental well-being: 

  • Professional therapy can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to explore your emotions and develop coping strategies. Therapists specialized in divorce-related issues can offer valuable insights and guidance. Many of our clients benefit from therapy, and you should not see it as something to fear, avoid, or be ashamed of. 
  • Sharing your thoughts and feelings with trusted individuals can alleviate the burden of loneliness and provide a sense of connection. Do not be afraid to rely on supportive family and friends.  
  • Engaging in self-care, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies, can promote mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Taking time for yourself is not a luxury but a necessity during this challenging period. 
  • Acknowledge that healing is a gradual process because there is no quick fix. Set realistic expectations for your recovery so you can navigate the emotional ups and downs without becoming discouraged. 
  • Dwelling on the past is a normal reaction, but fixating on red flags you missed, past mistakes, or choices you made will not get you far. Dwelling on what went wrong can hinder your progress. Shift your focus to the future and set new goals so you can feel empowered and enjoy a sense of purpose. 

Acknowledge your emotional challenges, get support, and implement coping strategies. You will start your life over with newfound strength and resilience. Though your journey may be difficult, with the right mindset and support system, a brighter future awaits you on the other side of your divorce. 

Get the Help You Need from an Attorney You Can Trust  

If you are considering getting divorced or have decided it is the right step, call us at (215) 608-1867. You can start a new chapter in your life regardless of your age. We can discuss this over the phone, via a teleconference, or meet in our Doylestown or Langhorne office.  

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I Own a Business, and I am Getting Divorced. What Will Happen? 

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Divorce outcomes are fact-driven. What will happen in your case depends on what is going on with your spouse, your business, and state law. We work with business owners to handle their unique situations fairly and protect their personal and business interests. There are “business owner gets divorced” horror stories, but your situation may be resolved so that the impact on your company is manageable (if not minimal) and you are able to start a new life. 

Part of the divorce process is the equitable distribution of assets, including determining which should be divided. After that, the judge decides whether a spouse is entitled to an asset (like business ownership, or at least part of it) based on their discretion and applicable law. Most divorce cases are settled through negotiations. Your spouse may accept other assets and/or spousal support in exchange for not pursuing claims related to your company. 

There are several factors in how your case may be resolved, including whether: 

  • You have an enforceable pre- or postnuptial agreement: Ideally, you both engaged with attorneys and worked out an agreement covering business ownership issues. If this is the case, the outcome may already be set. Time has passed, and with the benefit of hindsight, one or both of you may regret its terms. Unless both of you do not want to enforce the agreement and start all over again in the divorce process, how the issue will be handled has already been agreed upon. 
  • You have an unenforceable pre- or postnuptial agreement: There may be issues surrounding you or your spouse fully disclosing your business or financial situations and whether the agreement was voluntary. If your handwritten and mutually signed “contract” is not legally enforceable, it will not do you any good. Instead of contractual language, state law and its application to the facts will determine the outcome. 
  • You owned the business before your marriage, and your spouse has no ownership interest: Separate, personal property brought into the marriage is not subject to equitable division in divorce but any accrued value may be.   If your spouse had their own business or was fully occupied with their career and played no role in helping you or your business, they are not in a good position to claim they should be awarded partial ownership or part of its increased value during the marriage. Their claim becomes stronger if they gave up a career or spent substantial time and energy supporting you and your business.  
  • You started the business during your marriage: If the two of you co-own the company, hopefully, you have terms in a postnuptial or ownership agreement with a buy-sell provision that covers divorce. If so, it should state that in case of a divorce, one buys out the other’s interest with the price determined fairly and neutrally. Without an agreement, and if only you own the business, it can come down to whether your spouse helped you and your business, and if so, to what degree. The more your spouse sacrificed their life and career, the better argument they have to be awarded part ownership and/or a share of its increased value during the marriage 

The more organized, well-documented, and “by the book” you operate your business, the better off you will be in the divorce process. The more you run it by “the seat of your pants,” “under the table,” and engage in questionable practices to avoid taxes, the worse off you will be. You do not want to be in front of a judge insisting you are telling the truth if the evidence shows you are lying to the IRS. Credibility is critical if you cannot reach a settlement agreement with your spouse and your case goes to trial. Parties without credibility normally do not do well. 

Get the Help You Need From an Attorney You Can Trust 

The last thing you want is your marriage and your business to end at the same time. Whether you and/or your spouse own a business and want to learn more about how a divorce may impact you, call our office at (215) 608-1867 or book a consultation online. We can speak over the phone, via a teleconference, or meet in one of our offices in Doylestown or Langhorne.

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Pennsylvania Child Support Basics

The state’s child support laws create a system in which parents are obligated to support their own children. This requirement includes daily living expenses, including healthcare and daycare.   

Usually, one parent is the primary caregiver, and the other pays to help with the child’s needs. The money is not for the custodial parent’s benefit. It is to be spent on the child.  

Child support is also an issue during divorce proceedings when the spouses have a child. It could be one of many issues that must be resolved before the divorce is final. If the parents are living apart, a child support agreement or order can go into effect while the parents are still married. 

How Do I Start the Process? 

Child support can be arranged in several ways. Parents can agree on support and ask a judge to approve the agreement through a support order in a divorce or other family law proceeding. Most cases start when a parent completes an Application for Child Support and submits it to their local Bureau of Child Support Enforcement (BCSE) office. If your case involves other circumstances, we can help you work with BCSE to:   

  • Find a noncustodial parent 
  • Establish paternity if the child is born outside of marriage 
  • Establish support obligations 
  • Collect and distribute support 
  • Enforce support obligations 

What are Bucks County Child Support Payments Based On? 

Support is based on the reasonable: 

  • Needs of the child  
  • The ability of the non-custodial parent to pay 

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court creates support guidelines and should be the basis of any agreement. Judges also use them to develop a figure if no deal is reached. Guidelines are driven by the parents’ monthly income. Both parents may be ordered to pay support for a child not in their care. 

The most essential factors in the guideline include: 

  • The parents’ incomes 
  • Daycare costs 
  • Health insurance expenses 
  • The number of minor children of each parent 
  • Social Security benefits a child may receive 
  • The child’s living arrangements 

A judge will review the support amount at least every four years. After an order has been signed, if changed circumstances justify it, a parent can ask that the amount be increased or decreased. 

How Can Support Be Spent? 

Support can pay for: 

  • Food 
  • Clothing 
  • Shelter 
  • Medical insurance 
  • Medical expenses 
  • Education expenses 
  • Child care 
  • Visitation travel costs 
  • Extracurricular activities 

Child support obligations continue until the child is 18 or graduates high school. Child support payments may continue if they have special needs or continue their education. 

How are Child Support Orders Enforced? 

When a non-custodial parent does not pay the full support amount on time, they violate a court order and may face serious consequences. The receiving parent could file a court action to enforce the order, with or without an attorney’s help.  It is not wise to ignore a support order.  

A parent could also request help from BCSE, which can enforce child support orders by pursuing unpaid amounts on your child’s behalf. Typically, there is a small fee to start a case. BCSE has several enforcement tools at its disposal.  

Which approach is right for you depends on your circumstances. If child support is one of several matters we help you with, it makes sense for us to handle this issue, too. If you do not have money to spend on an attorney, BCSE is a good choice. 

We Can Help You Achieve Your Child Support Goals  

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., lawyers believe that, unless there is an agreement, parents should not receive less child support or pay more than the law requires. Whether you pay or receive child support, if you have questions about it or need legal representation, book a 15-minute consultation by filling out our online form.  

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Bucks County Custody Dispute? Help Yourself and Your Children Through the Process

Unless there is a serious issue, you will be sharing child custody with your co-parent in some way. This is not a problem for most parents because there is still some goodwill with the other parent. If you and your ex do not get along, you must find your way to peace.  A peaceful (or at least non-fighting) relationship will help you and your children navigate life after the divorce is over.  

What is Child Custody? 

Pennsylvania has two types of child custody: legal and physical. Legal custody is your ability to make important decisions concerning your child. They could concern education, healthcare, or religious upbringing. Courts award sole or shared legal custody (the more common arrangement).

Physical custody is the right to have your child live or be with you. There are different types of physical custody: 

  • Sole: One parent has exclusive physical custody.  
  • Primary: The child mostly lives with one parent, and generally, the other parent gets partial or supervised custody. 
  • Shared: The child spends roughly the same time with each parent. 
  • Partial: The child spends less than half the time with a parent. 
  • Supervised physical custody: A third party must be present for all visits between a parent and their child. This may happen if the parent has psychological or substance abuse problems. If this goes well, the parent may next get partial, unsupervised physical custody. 

The law encourages custody arrangements where both parents are part of a child’s life as long as it is in his or her best interest. 

How Do Child Custody Cases Proceed? 

Child custody disputes can become very emotional and heated. A parent may be angry about the relationship’s breakup and try to punish the other by trying to prevent or limit their child custody rights. 

This can actually hurt your chances of a favorable custody outcome. A parent’s willingness to share custody is often a factor in their favor when a judge decides who should get what kind of custody. The more you want it all to yourself (without justification), the more you harm your case. 

Like all family law disputes, child custody cases are overwhelmingly resolved through negotiation. Some cases take longer to resolve than others, the emotional sparks fly more in some more than others, and sometimes mediation helps the parties reach a resolution.  

But no matter how you cut it, nearly all child custody disputes are solved through negotiations. Chances are yours will, too, so why not give it a good faith, honest effort? 

Why Should You Negotiate Your Child Custody Dispute? 

There are many benefits to this approach: 

  • A court battle can strain even the most positive relationships between parents. Although negotiations can be stressful, they allow parents to maintain open lines of communication, fostering a cooperative environment that is crucial for co-parenting. 
  • Negotiation empowers parents to prioritize their children’s needs. A judge will not have an intimate knowledge of the family dynamics that parents possess. Through negotiation, parents can craft a custody agreement that accommodates their child’s unique needs, preferences, and routines resulting in a more tailored arrangement. 
  • Child custody battles can be emotionally draining for all parties involved, especially the child. Negotiating a settlement outside of the courtroom can mitigate the emotional toll. This approach tends to be less confrontational and reduces the stress for both parents and children. 
  • Legal proceedings can be expensive. Negotiation is usually a more cost-effective option than prolonged court battles. Parents can shorten the process, saving themselves time, energy, grief, and legal fees.

Do not leave it to a judge. It never works out quite how you think it will. Why do more parents negotiate child custody settlements than use litigation to resolve the issue? The benefits outweigh the costs. 

Child Custody Attorneys You Can Trust 

Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C. attorneys will work with you to negotiate a resolution to help you achieve your goals, protect your rights, and serve your child’s best interests. If you have questions about custody issues or need legal representation, call us at (215) 752-6200 today. 

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Divorcing When Wealthy: Please Use Common Sense

Divorce is never an easy decision, but when wealth enters the equation, it adds layers of complexity that can make the process more challenging. High-net-worth individuals face unique issues and considerations when seeking to dissolve their marriages. Nearly all divorces are resolved through negotiations, and negotiations are especially important when a couple is wealthy.

Legal Representation

The more the two of you have, the more is at stake in a divorce. High-net-worth divorces require specialized legal representation and the use of outside experts. You rely on other professionals to run your business or manage your wealth. It only makes sense to retain a Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., attorney to protect your interests during this critical time in your life. We will help you negotiate the best resolution possible for you and your family.

Equitable Asset Division

One of the most significant challenges in a high-net-worth divorce is the division of assets. The greater the assets and the more complex they are, the more difficult it can be to unwind the financial relationship between the two of you. Once we get all the information about the assets you hold, we can begin to negotiate a fair and reasonable division that will work for both parties.

Prenuptial Agreements

Prenuptial agreements are legal documents specifying the division of assets if the couple divorces. These agreements are especially useful when one or both parties have substantial wealth. If the two of you signed an agreement, we can review it.

If it is properly written and executed, it is binding. All that the agreement covers cannot be disputed or litigated during the divorce. That is good if the agreement is favorable to you, not so much if it is not.

Spousal Support

Depending on the circumstances, wealthy individuals may be required to pay substantial spousal support (alimony) to their former spouse. The marriage’s length, the income disparity between the parties, and the lifestyle to which the spouses are accustomed play a role in determining the amount and duration of spousal support.

Negotiating this aspect can be contentious, and often, the party potentially paying the support may be able to lessen or eliminate it if the other party receives certain assets or other issues are negotiated in their favor.

Business Interests

For those owning businesses, divorce can significantly impact a company’s operation and ownership. It is vital to consider the implications of a divorce on the business, including issues like stock ownership, control, and valuation. Depending on which side you are on, you want to protect your business interests and ensure its continuity, or you want your fair and equitable share of the company. Negotiations concerning the ownership of a family business can become emotionally charged, but it is something we have successfully handled many times.

Take the Best Approach

Litigation involving high-net-worth individuals can be very complex, time-consuming, and expensive. Those with more resources can spend more on litigation, but that is not necessarily a good idea.

In addition to spending hard-earned family wealth in the courtroom, divorce trials are open to the public. Whatever “dirty laundry” aired at trial can become public knowledge. You also lose control of the divorce’s outcome when it is put into the hands of a judge or jury.

Reaching a divorce settlement is like negotiating a business deal. It is all about costs, benefits, risks, and how to best manage them. Your divorce will be resolved one way or another. If the parties are reasonable, common sense will dictate the give and take between the parties. Once both parties know all the facts about your assets and other relevant issues, it is best to start negotiations sooner rather than later, because they could take a long time.

If your spouse is unreasonable when negotiating or sees the divorce as a way to get “payback,” litigation may be inevitable. Whatever path your case takes, Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., attorneys will protect your interests and defend your rights.

Get the Help You Need from an Attorney You Can Trust 

If you are thinking about getting divorced or you have decided it is the right choice for you, call us at (215) 608-1867 or schedule a consultation online now. No matter your income or assets, you can start a new chapter in your life. We can discuss your situation over the phone, via a teleconference, or meet in our Langhorne or Doylestown office. 

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Is One of Your New Year’s Resolutions to Get Divorced?

We think of a new year as a re-birth, an opportunity to reinvent ourselves and change our lives. That could be changing jobs, living healthier, going on that vacation you dream of, or ending your dysfunctional marriage. If you have had enough of marriage and decide it is time to move on, Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., is here to help.

Holidays are stressful when a marriage is on the verge of breaking up, especially if you have kids. You feel the need to “keep up appearances” to family and friends. You want your kids to have a positive holiday season, not one filled with thoughts of parents going their own ways. That is all perfectly reasonable, and it may be easier to do knowing that you will not need to continue your charade next year, so make the most of it.

Talk to Your Spouse

If you have not discussed a divorce with your spouse, unless you are in an abusive relationship and fear for your safety, you should. Ideally, you will be on the same page and can limit disagreements. When each spouse is reasonable and respectful, the process can go much faster, with less stress and expense. It is also far easier on children when the relationship ends on a positive (or at least not negative) note.

Contact Our Office

Holidays and obligations in November and December cut into the time and energy needed to prepare for a divorce. No matter how hectic your schedule, take the time to call our office and schedule a consultation. We can discuss your situation, what you need to do to prepare to get divorced, and how we can help. Together, we can “game plan” how to accomplish your goal of getting divorced.

Get Organized

Whether you start this year or after the holidays, collect and organize critical financial information and documents, including those concerning:

  • Mortgages
  • Home equity loans or lines of credit
  • Credit scores and reports
  • Debts such as credit cards, student and vehicle loans
  • Property ownership
  • Investments
  • Retirement savings
  • Bills from private schools or colleges showing tuition costs
  • Medical records if one or both of you have conditions limiting your income potential
  • Business ownership and finances

Starting new bank accounts just for your use is a good idea. You should also set up a new email account and rent a post office box so you can communicate with us and others without your spouse being able to monitor your communications.

Be Prepared if You Think the Divorce Will Not Go Smoothly

If you fear your spouse will not end the marriage without a financial or emotional fight, you will have to be mentally and financially prepared. Long, drawn-out proceedings cost both spouses more time, energy, and money. Mediation may be an effective way to pull a spouse out of their anger and selfishness and make them realize the best resolution is one both parties can accept. Divorce is about starting new lives, not inflicting pain and revenge.

Get Emotional Help If You Need It

A divorce can come with a lot of emotional baggage. You may be angry or disappointed in yourself or your spouse. You may blame yourself for the end of what you imagined would be a fairy tale marriage. You may fear being alone in the future. It is very common for those undergoing a divorce to get help from healthcare professionals. You should explore this option if you feel you may need help.

Family and friends can be excellent sources of support – or not. They may tell you to stay together “for the children.” Their divorce may have involved very different issues, and their ex may have a different personality than your spouse, so what they say may be of limited use. People near you may greatly help you or give you bad advice. You must separate the good from the bad.

If It Is Time for You to Start a New Life, We Can Help  

To learn more about divorce, the legal process, or to discuss legal representation, call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at (215) 752-6200 or book a consultation online.  

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Must You Put Up with Your Co-Parent’s Slander?

If your co-parent makes damaging, false statements about you and you suffer some legally recognized harm under Pennsylvania law, you may have a defamation case. If these statements are made to or around your child and alienate them from you, a faster resolution may be through family court.

Parental Alienation

If your co-parent is making defamatory statements about you to your child, or they hear them when they are made to others, this may be part of an effort to seek vengeance against you or to punish you by poisoning your relationship with your child. They may try to toy with the child’s feelings for you. They want to manipulate them to the point it negatively affects or breaks up their relationship with you.

These parental alienation efforts need not be intentional or directed at the child. Their criticism of you may be so constant and open that your child cannot help but hear and think about it. They may conclude you are such a bad person that they do not want to be around you.

If this happens, your child may need counseling to separate the fact that you love and care about them from the fiction that you are a terrible person. This can also be a basis to ask a court to end or limit the other parent’s visitation or custody rights.

Pennsylvania law makes putting both parents in a child’s life a priority, but there are limits. Two factors a judge should consider when making a custody decision are whether:

  • One parent is trying to turn the child against the other
  • A parent encourages and enables the child’s frequent and continuing contact with the other

If you discuss this problem with your co-parent and they deny it happens (but your child says it does) or tell you they will say whatever they want, you should contact our office. If we cannot convince them (directly or through their attorney) to stop, taking this to court and forcing them to understand that their slander is endangering their visitation or custody rights may make them change their ways.

Making Defamatory Statements to Others

If these remarks are not made to or around your child but are made to others, depending on the facts of the case, under Pennsylvania statute, you may have grounds for a defamation case against the co-parent. Defamation that is spoken (to neighbors, coaches, and teachers, for example) is considered slander, and when it is written (like in social media posts), it is libel.

The statements must tend to harm your reputation and lower your position in your community. They may also discourage others from associating or dealing with you. Libel would blacken your reputation and expose you to public hatred, contempt, or ridicule. A court would view these statements in the context of your relationship.

It is not enough if these statements embarrass, annoy, or anger you. You would have to show the court real and tangible injuries, such as distress, depression, or anxiety. Losing a job or customers if you own a business can also show the statements harmed you.

Your co-parent may have defenses to your defamation claims, including a denial that the statements were made, or that they were made but are truthful or they are the opinion of the co-parent. If you file a claim for libel, you will need to prove the statements were made negligently or maliciously to be awarded damages.

What Should I Do If My Child Starts Turning Against Me? 

If you think you may be dealing with parental alienation or believe your co-parent’s statements have gone too far, please call Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., at (215) 752-6200.

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Our Flat Fee for Divorce Representation

If you are thinking, “I cannot afford to get divorced,” we have an option that may work for you. 

If your divorce is relatively simple, our flat fee is a good option for divorcing couples. If you have no children or few assets, a simple divorce may be your best choice. This may also work if you have worked out child custody or alimony issues and a fair distribution of debts and assets through a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement. If complications arise, we will bill you hourly if they require more time and effort to resolve than we expected. 

The Benefits of a Flat Fee Charge 

There are many advantages to this approach beyond saving money: 

  • Cost Predictability: One of the most significant benefits of a flat fee is that you know what to expect. We agree on a specific price for our services upfront, allowing you to budget effectively and avoid unexpected legal costs.  
  • No Hourly Billing Surprises: In traditional hourly billing, you might receive invoices with charges for every phone call, email, or meeting with an attorney. Flat fee arrangements eliminate this uncertainty, as the total cost is set from the outset. 
  • Reduced Conflicts Over Billing: We avoid billing disputes, which can cause conflicts between clients and their attorneys in hourly billing arrangements. 
  • Focus on Resolution: With a flat fee arrangement, we are focused on ending your marriage as quickly and as efficiently as possible, preventing expensive, contentious, and lengthy legal battles. 
  • Reduced Financial Stress: Divorce can be financially challenging, and flat fee arrangements can reduce the stress associated with the process. You can focus on your future and family instead of monitoring your legal expenses. 
  • Peace of Mind: Knowing the cost of your legal representation upfront can provide peace of mind during a stressful divorce process. It allows you to concentrate on other aspects of your life and reduces the anxiety associated with ongoing billing concerns. 
  • Alignment of Interests: Flat fee arrangements align everyone’s interests. Spouses benefit from efficient case management and a swift resolution, which can result in a more cooperative working relationship. 
  • Tailored Services: We will tailor our services to your specific needs within our agreed-upon fee structure. 
  • Encourages Open Communication: Flat fee arrangements can foster better, more open communication between clients and our attorneys. Clients are more likely to seek advice and discuss their concerns without worrying about hourly charges 

Your divorce may still be affordable if your situation is too complex for a flat fee arrangement. Our firm works with a third-party company that may be able to finance our legal services. If you are interested in this, you will need to complete an application, and we will submit it to the company. If your case is complete, we also may help you with a payment plan to pay your balance. 

Call for a Confidential Consultation


Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., can provide dedicated, caring advice and counsel if you are considering getting divorced or have already decided that one is right for you. For a confidential consultation with a Doylestown divorce lawyer at Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C., call (215) 752-6200 or send us an email. We can meet you in our Doylestown or Langhorne office or speak on the phone about the divorce process and its cost.

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